5 Y/o Scared from a TV Show, He Wont Go to Bed, Just Cries and Cries

A.,

I used to think my daughter would be fit for daytime television the way she would over-dramatize everything. I used to call her Susan Lucci - when joking about her dramatic displays of despair over the smallest of things.

I don't know, I mean I guess you need to make the best judgement call based on your son, his personality and the situation as a whole. Is it possible that he's over-doing this whole thing to get a bit more of your attention, now the new baby is here? sometimes these things manifest in the strangest ways... and some kids are such GOOD ACTORS - they deserve Oscars :)

If it were me, I would try talking with him, one-on-one, sit down with him on the floor (let the baby cry if needed, but do this without the baby on you... this may help him understand that he is still important to you) and tell him that you really want him to not be scared about what he saw, and you want to help him, but the only way you can help him is if you know what part was so scary. If he chooses not to verblize this, I would ABSOLUTELY sit with him on your lap thru the entire show and watch it again. if you sense him getting tense, pause it (if you have DVR) and discuss what caused him to be tense... assure him that it is just pretend, and only possible in the cartoons because people draw them. Some mom's may very much disagree with this approach... i'm not suggesting you force your kid to watch Saw II... this is Lilo & Stitch we're talking about here... and there is absolutely nothing for him to be afraid of. I am willing to bet that in the 5 short years he's been around... and with all the kids to compete with, he's deep down very happy to be getting your undivided attention when he has these fits...

I wouldn't suggest watching it again, but you could spend some time doing creative things to work this out. Right now it's living in his imagination, which is a powerful place, and you can use that to your advantage. Talk about how the show is made up, that people write and draw it, and encourage him to do the same. He can draw parts he liked, but then try to write a different twist to it. It sounds to me like he's freaked about being small and out of control (shrinking and getting stuck) so you can give him some of the mental control back.

my daugher used to cry whenever she watched a specific comedy with us. i don't remember what the name was....but we pinpointed that it was the song from the show during a certain part that made her so sad. only found out because when we went to someone's house one day, they had the movie on and that she wasn't watching it but when she heard the song she started crying...more like weeping, not wailing. maybe you can rent a special about how cartoons are made and explain that it is all just drawings and you can make the drawings do and say whatever you want them to. i would not suggest having him watch it again, hopefully the memory fades. good luck

Imagination is such a great and not so great thing to have. Perhaps he is scared that little people will get inside of him. It sounds silly but to a 5 year old it's perfectly logical. I hope the poor little guy feels better soon.

Dear A.

First congrats on the new baby. Sometimes our fears are associated with TV but are really not about the show but the latest sib added to the family. Reassurance is the key here and time for it to pass. Taking some quiet time with your boy for something only he can do with you or your hubby can make a big difference. You can also make a potion to protect him (monster spray, or non shrinking spray whatever you call it)Get a mini spray bottle fill it with water and add some essential oil( I use lavender)Decorate and give it to him Have him spritz his pillow or covers before bed. The lavender is calming and now he has extra protection. Good Luck
J. O
Also mom of five

hi A.,

Your poor little guy, I feel bad for him and for you that he is so scared. My 4 yr old (almost 5) daughter also has gotten really scared from things on t.v. - though once I am pretty sure she actually fell asleep for a few minutes watching t.v. and had a little nightmare. Can you get him to just name what it is, or what he calls 'it' or 'them'? What works with my daughter is when she would feel scared I would say, there's really no such thing but if you want, I can order the 'nahs' - that's what she calls them away. I would stand in the middle of her room and in my firmest mommy voice order all 'nahs' out of her room, out of this house - right now!!! (you get the idea.) Sometimes has to be done more than once...This made her feel safe.

We know they can't separate reality from their imagination at this age, so to him whatever he is imagining, even if he can't fully explain it - is completely real.

You mentioned that he is afraid of the outside chance of the show possibly even coming on while he is watching t.v. Maybe you could assure him by letting him know you understand how frightened he is, even though there's no such thing - his fright is real....show him that you are reading the t.v. listings and you will be very careful not to allow that show to come on, and that it's your job and you won't let that happen.

It is likely also linked to your new baby in the house - can you make him a special sleeping bag or sleeping place near you (even on the floor) where he can quietly go and feel safe if he needs to? Put a time limit on it, so it doesn't become a regular thing - just for now.

best wishes to you,

W.