4.5 Yr Old Adjusting to FT pre-K

Updated on August 29, 2011
K.J. asks from Naperville, IL
10 answers

My son started FT pre-K last week, and has refused to nap there. He normally doesn't nap much at home either, maybe once a week. By the end of the week he was so exhausted that he had several potty accidents (he has been day-time potty trained for nearly 2 yrs). He has also been EXTREMELY defiant to me, and his teachers are frustrated too, because he is an angel sometimes, and then other times, out of no where, he hits other kids, or screeches, or knocks down there blocks, etc.

Has anyone else experienced this? Do you think he will adjust to the new schedule, or should I consider dropping him down to 1/2 days? (I hesitate to do so because I have a 2 yr old and 5 month old at home and I was planning on using that time to run errands and exercise, because my baby is still napping 3 x a day. Last year he was attending MWF for 3 hours. Now he's M-F, for 7 hrs.

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So What Happened?

*Updated*
His teacher said that he is doing MUCH better this week. His behavior at home is also improving. He's been going to bed right around 6:45 pm for the past several days, and that seems to help. He wakes up happy and excited to go back to school. So, I will hold off on making any changes right now and keep checking in with his teacher and watching his behavior at home to see how he is managing the transition.
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I agree with everyone that he NEEDS to nap, both at home and at school. But how do we get there? He tried giving up his naps about a year ago, but I have been very insistent upon them, and have been using the "Super NannY' technique of walking him back to his bed, over and over and over and over again, with no emotion and no talking. That worked for about 6 mos, but now he is just relentless. He will come out 100 times--every day, for about 2-3 hrs I try to get him to nap.

When the baby was a newborn, out of desperation I started to lie down with my oldest, and physically restrain him to keep him from leaving. After about an hour of struggling he'd fall asleep, and then as soon as I'd get up to use the bathroom or get one of the other kids from their naps, he's wake up and cry. I talked to some of the other moms from his school (but with slightly older kids--Kindergarteners, and they said they are having similar issues.

So, I guess for now we will just bear with it and keep trying.

Yes, we have adjusted dinner to much earlier--about 5 instead of 6:30, and he has been asleep between 6:30 & 7 every night for the last week.

Featured Answers

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Full day is a lot for his age. I think full day is a lot for kindergarten too, which is what they do here! I would drop him down to 1/2 days.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

**Adding This:
Your son is 4.5 years old. So he is late born and not 5 yet. Thus, does the school have a "Jr. K" class or Pre-K class? Maybe this will be more suited for him. Or you just have him attend 1/2 days for now.
He may not be ready for full days.
-----------------------------------

It is because... he is TIRED. TIRED. TIRED. And over-tired.
And then by the end of the week... it gets worse. They ARE more tired. It is the end of the week, by then. A very long week, for them.

My son, is in Kindergarten now. Everyday. Full days.
He has been in Kindergarten for almost 1 entire month, already.

My son.... is usually not like this... but now since Kindergarten started, he is SOOOOOO obnoxious and "defiant' too.... but I know it is because, he is soooo over-tired.
My son, when drastically over-tired like this.... gets like that. And he gets more Hyper.

It will take time... maybe 2 months, for him to adjust to the schedule now.
But I know he will adjust.

My son is a napper. Always has been. But at school he cannot nap. Too many people in the same room. He told me and the Teacher as well. Although he does try.
So, once he is home, I have him NAP. He needs it. It is not everyday that he naps now (he used to nap everyday) because he has homework to do after-school... but at least on Wednesdays and Fridays I have him nap. And the weekend.
This helps him.

Being over-tired, is like being sleep deprived.
It affects adults... and in young children too.

But you do what you need to do.
At my kids' school, there is not such thing as 1/2 day kinder. Only full day.
My son previously attended Preschool for 1/2 days and only 3 times a week.
So now, going to Kinder everyday, full-days, is a adjustment for him.
As is with most Kinder kids.

Now, for the potty accidents... EVERY school I know of, has the kid's parents bring extra clothing for their child to be kept in their cubby.
Kids this age, DO STILL have accidents.
And it is also because, your child is so exhausted.
The Teachers... SHOULD KNOW THIS.
The Teachers.... SHOULD also know... that he is overly tired. Thus, his attention and ability for patience, is nil.
The TEACHERS... SHOULD KNOW BETTER. They should, realize what is going on. They see this every year. With kids.

I think: Your son, now needs to NAP. Does not have to be everyday, but he now... needs to nap. He is getting belligerent. EXPLAIN it to him.

Also, make sure he goes to bed, earlier. Have dinner for him earlier too.
It is a must. Or he will STILL... be getting lack of sleep/being over-tired.

Lack of sleep or being over-tired.... dominoes. It keeps on accumulating... UNTIL and if... a child then gets enough sleep daily or catches up on their sleep.
Think about an Airline Pilot that is over-tired and has lack of sleep.
They... cannot.... function normally, when they are overtired.
Same for a kid.
Except kids are not adults.
Hence they get more erratic and 'defiant' about things when over-tired.
They get at the end of their rope.

He needs more sleep.
He needs to nap.
He is MAJOR over-tired and needs to catch up, on sleep... and this is a daily or weekly, thing.
It is, a necessity.
If not... it will become a "chronic" problem.
All about, sleep or lack of sleep.

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

I think he's over tired and probably not ready for full day. He's probably a tad jealous too that his siblings are home snuggling with mom. Since it sounds like you have the option of half day then I wouldn't hesitate to do it. 4.5 is still so young to be away from mom all day.

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am going through that right now with my 6 year old. She has always been half days and is now full day 1st grade. She has been unbearable the last 2 weeks. I have heard to give it about a month to adjust to a new sleep schedule/longer days. I am just praying. I have put her to bed quite a bit earlier and that seems to be helping. She does fall asleep quickly, even though she insists she isnt tired. Hang in there!
PS I am listening to her whine about how I will make her lunch while she is rolling all over the floor right now like she is dying from starvation (I wish I could post a video) Its pretty entertaining!

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

I would agree with everyone that is saying he is probably over-tired. Not every kid can just nap in a strange environment - I honestly don't know how my daughter would do if she were in preschool or day care all day and expected to take a nap since she's used to napping in her bed with her own stuff. I would either give another few weeks to adjust, and if there is no improvement, decide to drop him down to half-days. I would also see about having him go to bed earlier too, if you can swing it.

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L.G.

answers from Chicago on

Personally, I think it is too big of a change, especially since you have a new baby around. Going from 9 hours to 35 hours a week away from you and your family is HUGE!!! He might also feel like you are trying to push him out since the new baby. :( I would cut him down to M-F, 3 hours. Once he settles in, can he add 1-2 full days. like Tues/Thurs? So, he can start learning to nap there, while still getting 5 full days at home with naps? Are you seeing a pattern of when he acts out? Is it later in the week when he hasn't had solid naps for the past few days? I am all about transition for kids, and some really need it, especially the oldest ones since they had all of your patience for some time :) My oldest really needs time to adjust while my youngest jumps right in to things. :) Either way, I think they need time to get a grasp on the new routine, new teachers and friends..without feeling overwhelmed. It is hard but remember that you & your husband made the decision to have 3...not him. :) He is still a little guy who needs your attention too! :) Good luck.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I would give him another week or so to adjust.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with S.H. He's over tired. If he absolutely won't nap at school, I would make sure he's going to bed early at night.
At school maybe they can tell him that he doesn't have to sleep but he does have to lay down and rest and be quiet so all the other kids can. This my rule at my daycare and most kids fall asleep after a few minutes because they really do need the rest. If they don't sleep though, the resting time is enough to recharge them and their behavior is better. I would do this at home also.

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

He is so little to be in full time, if you don't have to why make trouble for yourself.
Keep him in half days or a few days a week & just realize you can't get everything done you'd like to when you have little ones:)

Agreed he is tired & has to many changes with the new baby.

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

As others have said I think he's over tired... my girls are 4.5 and will be moving to full day 2X a week for preschool. I'm interested to see how they do as they have only been 1/2 day 3X.

I think,re: a better time management perspective for you and answering his needs, I would keep the full day but cut it down to 2-3X a week rather than 5. the best of both worlds as he gets more 'down time' and you just can't get anything done in the 2.5 hours of a 1/2 day.

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