Hi there,
Our 4-year old daughter has returned to school this week, and it's going horribly. She's been at daycare and pre-school at the same school for the past 3 years and says she loves it. This year almost all of the kids are the same as last year, 2 of the 3 teachers are the same, same environment. The only thing that is very different is that they don't nap anymore. So, I'm wondering if she's sleep deprived and feeling/acting horribly because if that. I've talked with her about school and she says she "loves everything about it".
She's usually a sweet little girl, all summer she was just great to be with. We did a lot of international traveling and she did GREAT! I was so proud of her, we had so many visits with different friends and she was fun and well behaved. This week she is a NIGHTMARE! Temper tantrums, kicked me in the grocery store for no reason, threw food at dinner, refused to leave the park to go home and shrieked at the top of her lungs. OMG, it's awful. She says she's mad and frustrated and sad, but can't say why.
She is now getting 11 hours of sleep at night. This summer she slept about 10 at night and 1-2 during the day. If this is because of sleep, how long do you think it will take her to adjust? Are we pushing her too hard? Shall we insist that she needs to nap at school, or maybe she can get picked up earlier? We've already moved her bedtime up an hour and I don't think we can manage to get her to bed any earlier. She's waking up happy and rested in the morning.
Thanks for any ideas. I feel so bad for her, she's crying all the time, and her daddy and I are loosing our patience with her horrendous behavior! Oh, but the teacher said at school she's acting just fine. I'm guessing it's because she's tired after school in the evening with us. Ugh!
Some kids just need that afternoon nap. My granddaughter took an afternoon nap until her 6th birthday. Even after school in kindergarten. She hated it, but she did sleep every day and she was in a good mood all the time. You may need to pick her up earlier so she can get a little cat nap every day. Even if she sleeps good at night, she might need that little nap considering all the stimulation she gets at school!
She's over-tired.
My son is like that.
He NEEDS to nap. Even if he gets a good night's sleep.
My son gets rougher/more hyper/and more impatient, when he is tired.
Going to school, TIRES out a kid.
They have nil patience, when tired.
Hence they act out.
My son is 5. He's been in Kindergarten for 1.5 months already. I have him nap after school, when need be. I KNOW when he needs it.
Also have dinner for your daughter, EARLIER. Many kids, like mine, cannot eat when tired, even if they are hungry.
Make everything - dinner, bath, getting ready for bed- earlier.
Going to school for a young child, is very tiring. They are at school, on task all day. When they come home, they DEFLATE. And are over-tired. You need to let her.... deflate and UN-wind, after school.
Have QUIET time at home, after school. They need this. They were ACTIVE ALL DAY, at school... and overly stimulated. Hence, they NEED to just relax at home. They are already spent.
When a kid is over-tired... they cry more, get more fussy and tantrum. This is a CUE, that they are overly... spent.
I just answered a question about dropping naps and we're going thru it right now--literally!
Today was day FOUR of 4-K in the AFTERNOON.
No matter what time he goes to bed he wakes up at the same time in the morning. Grrrrrr. I've been TRYING to have a quiet time an hour before school and I think/hope he'll fall into line in the next month with this.
Yesterday he made it thru 30 minutes and most of lunch before he threw-up. I KNEW it was because he was tired. We're literally a mile and a half from school and he nodded off on the ride over. I feel so bad when I have to wake him up.
On Tuesday he crashed an hour before school and had to DRESS him while still groggy.
I'm not a fan of afternoon kindergarten but LOVE the school and therapists there. I was told to give it a month or two and he'll adjust.
Today he played on the playground for 30 minutes, asked to take a shower but crashed shortly after getting home. He wouldn't even talk to dad when he called to check in from work.
This is a minor problem in the GRAND scheme of things and will pass but it's so hard to see them struggle.
It's the body and mind adjusting to the new routine, and it's exhausting. My 11 year old goes through this every year and has since preschool. She actually just had a meltdown and was crying because middle school, 7 days in, is very hard and fast paced and the building is huge. There are lots of teachers and they like her but don't know her yet, and she's used to everyone knowing her. She's used to being Queen Of The School. She's not used to homework every single night in the amount she's getting, nor getting up an hour earlier. She cried, "I want to go back to my old school! I miss snack! I miss my sisters! I miss recess! I hate that if homework is late I'll have detention! I'm giving up! I'm going to bed!" Yes, my ODD girl who wants so much to be an adult wants to go back to elementary school. And really, my daughter loves school. I've never seen her so happy until her sudden meltdown tonight because I was pushing her to finish her homework.
She now sees the value of early to bed, early to rise. I don't think she'll be fighting me on that any more. :-) The routine is slowly settling at home, and I think within a couple of weeks she'll feel less stressed.
I'm sure part of it with your daughter is stress even as much as she's enjoying school.
Are you sure she isn't getting sick? Whenever my 4 yr old is suddenly overly emotional and just going bananas I can almost take it to the bank every time that a fever isn't far away. Hope I am wrong, but that is what I have seen with mine so often. Maybe up the vitamin c and just keep a close watch on here bc that could definitely be it. Hang in there!!
You've gotten some good advice so far, but I wanted to put in that maybe you push her bedtime earlier, so she can get more than 11 hours of sleep at night. My son is 4.5 and just started his last year of preschool, but he hasn't napped since he was 26mo. However, he still has his days where maybe he didn't sleep as well the night before or whatever. If his behavior is a problem, he goes to bed at least 30 minutes earlier than his normal 8:30 bedtime. I'm actually in the process of trying to get everything earlier to allow him more time to sleep if he needs it.
Updated
You've gotten some good advice so far, but I wanted to put in that maybe you push her bedtime earlier, so she can get more than 11 hours of sleep at night. My son is 4.5 and just started his last year of preschool, but he hasn't napped since he was 26mo. However, he still has his days where maybe he didn't sleep as well the night before or whatever. If his behavior is a problem, he goes to bed at least 30 minutes earlier than his normal 8:30 bedtime. I'm actually in the process of trying to get everything earlier to allow him more time to sleep if he needs it.
I'm not sure the school is allowed by state licensing to drop the nap at that age. I would check on that and, if they aren't, insist that they reinstate nap time. I believe that regulations say that a 2 hour rest period must be available to the children. What this usually means is that the children lie on cots for that time. The ones who don't need to sleep are allowed to read quietly, so that the ones who need to can sleep. An alternative is that the non-sleepers can be in a separate area, doing quiet activities.
If you find that either I'm incorrect about regulations, or you can't get the school to reinstate nap times, it might be time to consider a new school where she is still given the rest time opportunity. If she's accustomed to ten hours sleep at night with a 1-2 hour nap during the day, you are most likely correct that her problem is lack of sleep.
:0) our preK teacher bought a toddler pool and filled it with pillows. tired kids could nap anytime. is there a way she could nap? My dd slept 11 hours a night at this age too. also, i see about half the preK kids crying this week at school. it is a huge change and one crying seems to set the others off.
This exact thing happened to my daughter last year. It was awful. I decided to let her nap after school (3:30-5). It worked out fine... She'd go to bed around 9:00/9:30. Her behavior and overall demeaner was MUCH better. She is a kid that needs a nap! Trying to get all of her required sleep at night just did not work... Now she is in kindergarten (she'll be 6 in Oct.) and is not napping. She does pretty well. I let her lay down on the couch after school and watch TV or rest. She still needs that afternoon down time!! Good luck!
