44, Infertile and Thinking of Donor Egg as Last Ditch Effort - Advice?

K.,
Secondary inferitility can be a huge frustrating issue. I am a single mom raising 6 boys currently. All of them are adopted, guardianships, etc. They are easily the best thing that has happened in my life. Consider giving the the adoption option some thought. While babies are cute and adorable there are a large number of older kids who need homes. SOme of them come with baggage, but all of them are lovable and want to be loved by a family. L.

From 36-40 I had the same problem. Tried everything! Gave up in tears on my 40th birthday. Got pregnant the next month, and actually managed to carry my son 33 weeks. (We had lost 3 along the way, although one was a blighted ovum.)So you may try relaxing and see what nature intends.

That said, I also have a friend who has had 2 beautiful daughters from an egg donor. (She was 44 and dad was 48 when they both married for the first time.) They interviewed women and choose the mother. She was already a mother of 3. She lives only a few towns away and does have contact with the family. The family is very happy with the choice.

I'm 43 and also went through several years of the Clomid/IUI thing, so I completely understand your pain. There are many causes to infertility, and many times, there are several issues going on at once. If the issue is just the quality of your eggs, then a donor would be a good solution. If there is another underlying issue, such as implantation problems, fibroids, endometrosis, high rate of miscarriage, etc, etc, then you may be likely to have the same chances of sucess with a donor egg as with one of your own. Talk to your doctor.

By the way, you can also adopt donor embyros (left over from another couple's IVF cycle), so that may also be an option. Nightlight Adoptions in California has a Snowflake embryo program http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakefaqsgp.htm
as does Bethany Adoptions http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/0/1CA1884225...

As for me, after my last miscarriage, we are now looking into domestic adoption.

Good luck! If you want it badly enough, you will build your family one way or another! :)

My daughter had her 1st son at age 19, when he was 3 years old her and her husband tried to have another child. She got pregenat but miscarried right away. When she was unable to get pregenet again she tried everything. She final started losing weight and guess what she got pregenet. Her youngest son was born April 2006. So there is always hope. Good luck.

I have no experience with any of that, but I recently read an article about acupuncture working to increase a woman's chances of getting pregnant by 65%. Just a thought.

I see you say you have tried IUI. Is IVF an option for you? Several IUI attempts didn't work for me, but IVF did and I now have twins. I'd recommend Dr. Nancy Klein if you don't love the doctor you are working with, she is fantastic - http://www.seattlefertility.com/aboutUs_Klein.htm

I also did acupuntucture in preparation.

Familiar with adoption....we adopted both of our daughters at birth by way of independent adoption within the state. If you have any adoption questions, I may be able to answer them.
:)

K.,
I used a donor egg, my son is 8 now, so I have a first hand experience.I'm sure the assisted reproductive technology has evolved in the last 8 years, but the questions remain the same. My doctors would send me women to coach/counsel/share about the decision to use donor egg, so I feel confident I could "give advice". Wanna share your thoughts, fears, inner conversations, anything that is bothering you? Can't give advice until I know what you're conflicted about. By the way, I gave birth at 46, (in Los Angeles), I'm 54 now, a Pilates instructor, and I live in Corvallis.
(My name is N., but my friend who sent me the Mamasource put my son's name, Ronan, on the email. I'll get that changed.)

Heavy metals toxicity could be an issue. Mercury from dental fillings leaches into the body affecting the immune system, energy levels and fertility. The body knows when it doesn't have the right environment to conceive or go to full term. A 3 - 6 month protocol with a product like Natural Cellular Defense will pull out the mercury, lead, alumimuim and other heavy heavy metals from your body that could be hindering you form getting pregnant. Also, since these heavy metals cross the placenta, into the fetus, this will prevent those metals from going into the new born hindering their mental and emotional growth.

I wish this product was around when our daughter was conceived 8 years ago. It would have prevented emotional issues we have been dealing with for years. We have been using this for the past 2 months and she is learning better at school plus she is significantly better behaved ( less intense emotional tantrums and now once every couple weeks rather than a couple times a day ) both at school and at home. We feel I we have a normal child now, at least one that can be reasoned with.

I also started taking flax seed oil for the omega 3's prior to conception and at 46 I became pregnant for the first time. Also, try juicing organic vegetables and fruits to up your nutrient levels. I did the flax oil and juice together in a protein smoothie in the morning and continued it into the pregnancy.

i have a friend around your age who has the same issues. They have decided to go for it and are expecting twin boys any minute now. her husband is the biological father also. however the pregnancy started out as 4 babies and they had to make the difficult decision of terminating 2 of the pregnancies to improve the mother's health. It is a tough decision, good luck. and remember that either option has it's pros and cons.

I have not had experience with donor eggs, but have with adoption. If that becomes an issue you are more interested in, I'd love to talk about it. Best of luck.