4 Yr Old Sits Alone in Daycare?

Yes and no. It's fine if she wants to play alone. There could be many reasons.

I would be worried if she always wants to play alone in various types of situations. Does she play with siblings, cousins? Does she play with others at play groups or on the play ground?

Sounds like she may be an introvert instead of an extrovert. Not a big deal. She may also just love those dolls!

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Ask the daycare person to let you know the very day when this habit ends. This is her last year in day care until real school. She may continue or out grow it. On the surface, she may be on to a life of peace versus drama.

When I was about 6-7, my mom, who was a sahm, would occasionally take all four of us to a mom's day out type of thing. I was the only one out of my three sisters to play alone. I was scared of seeing all the kids and just wanted to be with my mom. Today, I am more extroverted and can start up conversations with complete strangers in public places. Now, I do only have about two really close friends, and many acquaintances and I have always been scared to speak in public while in school. Maybe she's just really good at playing independently or it's part of her personality. I don't think you should be concerned, as long as you know she gets plenty of love, and always has her needs met.

She's only 4, kids learn to socialize when they're a little older...don't push it. If she's happy, leave it alone.

not necessarily. i think it's a sign of strength when kids aren't desperate to have other kids (or parents) entertain them.
but you seem to concerned about your 4 year old. other than the sleeping, have there been other changes since the move?
what more is going on?
khairete
S.

She sounds very introverted. As long as she appears to be happy playing alone, I would not push her. If there other quiet kids at daycare or in your neighborhood , I would set up a play date. You can ask her if there other children that she would like to play with at home. She might enjoy playing with another child who has a similar personality and interests.
It's possible that she might feel overwhelmed being around a lot of children especially if they are not as quiet as she is.

If the only reason you send your child to daycare is to use it as a daycare, then I guess there's really not much of a problem, especially if your child is outgoing and plays with other children socially outside of daycare.

But if you send your child to daycare because you're using it as preschool then I think there actually is a problem. Part of the reason for preschool is to help socialize children who may not otherwise have much opportunity to socialize outside of preschool. It's often a good time to see if there are social development issues... so if your child's teacher is noticing and commenting that your daughter never wants to play with other children and always prefers her own company then the teacher is seeing a red flag.

And when a teacher sees a red flag then I would take notice and take it seriously. Ask her why she's bringing it to your attention and if she thinks any action needs to be taken. I wouldn't just blow it off, but have a conversation with your child's teacher. When my middle daughter was in preschool, we thought she was just shy and little behind... at her own pace as she always was... but we only had the comparison of her same-aged cousins and my close friends' children. Those were always very relaxed, unstructured events. Then when it came to a classroom full of other preschoolers her own age and she didn't participate and in actuality, couldn't participate, I had to pay attention to those teachers and finally admit and face my own concerns. We had her evaluated and discovered her Autism at that time.

Now at nearly 11 she's an amazingly wonderfully adjusted Autist, and she's made such strides. If I had dismissed teacher concerns... I don't know where we would be.

I'm NOT SAYING your daughter has ASD... I'm only saying don't blow the teacher off. Address this and see if there's a concern that you need to look into.

Maybe she is simply an introvert. If she prefers to play alone but CAN play with others and has no other concerning behavior, I'd let her be. My DD can make up a game for HOURS and DH says he was just like that as a kid. I would let her choose how she wants to play.

I don't think its necessarily a cause for concern. Are there other indications of a problem? How are drop offs, what's her reaction upon pick up, does she have friends outside of daycare, what's her behavior at home? You don't say how many kids or what the ages are at day care but even at 4 children have preferences on who and what they want to play with. I think its great that she is able to entertain herself. If there are no other issues bubbling up I might try to expose her to new situations with other kids and activities and see how she does.

Yes and no. I am glad she is articulate and uses her manners. I think every person, adult and child need down time and/or time to do what we like. I think it's great that she isn't sitting in front of the tv and has time to play with her dolls. However, she does need to start to learn that she needs to participate with other children and it may not be something she prefers. This will help her get prepared for school. When an adult tells gives her a direction, she needs to listen. I would suggest to the daycare provider, if the provider knows she wants to play alone, then she shouldn't be asking. She should be giving her a direction, example, "in two minutes, you need to put the dolls away and we will be coming to the table to ____ (color, play with playdough, outside to swing, etc)".

As long as she's otherwise healthy and meeting the standards for her age I wouldn't worry about it. If she's an introvert she's made that way and all the nudging and pushing to make her mix with other kids won't change her and may annoy her. Are you considering another child? Does she have cousins? I think when a shy child has a younger sibling, cousin or family friends they are forced by nature to mix and communicate and learn the give & take of relationships.

As long as she's not being mean, or she's not upset by groups of kids she'll be just fine. If she gets upset by the noise and confusion of the stimulation of groups (even small groups) or if she shuts down and won't communicate with her teacher in such a situation then you should have her evaluated. At her next physical tell your pediatrician about the preschool teacher's comments and see waht he has to say. Shy kids who are naturally introverts are often the really bright kids - which I think may be part of the reason they don't want to connect socially - their brain is working too fast.

I truly think we moms know more about our kids than others do. I think we need to notice nuances in their lives and personalities and hear what others have to say. Then follow our gut.

I taught 3-4 year olds in a preschool for 4 years. In that time I only had 2 students that consistently chose not to interact with other students. They were both well behaved and bright for there age so I wouldn't say it is an issue but the daycare provider may be mentioning it because it isn't the "norm" either.

At this age children are starting to learn how to interact and socialize in acceptable ways. Your daughter maybe missing out on that. Do you know any of the other moms/kids at the daycare. A couple of outside play dates could help your daughter get to know 1 or 2 of the kids in a small setting and then she maybe more willing to open up when at daycare.