26 answers

3Rd Trimester Blues and Surprise Girl

I've been feeling great 2nd trimestesr, but my first trimester I had a hard time dealing with the hormones and getting the blues and anxiety. Now i'm a week away from the 3rd trimester and it's back. Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this in their third tri or am I just a weirdo? We also found out we're having a girl...not something I expected or really anticipated, so are there any general things people can tell me about girls....nice things, bad things, hard things? It sounds silly since I'm a girl but...raising a girl is different.

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So What Happened?™

Thank you every one. I will let you know how things go after she's born. I'm actually already on anti-depressents, I have been for almost 10 years and in general do well, but Im' very sensitive to hormonal changes and have been since puberty, so with my docs I made the decision to go up a dose on my meds. I feel quite a bit better, but the hormones are still bouncing around of course.

As for the girl issues.....I've spent most the the pregnancy running from them until we saw our final sono....so now I've had to face it. I'm going to keep working on it but I'm thinking it won't resolve until after she's born and I get used to her being around. It was the same with my son....unexpected pregnancy (and unwanted) but after he was born....well he's the light of my world now so I plan to work toward this little one being the same thing.

Featured Answers

I would not say you are a weirdo.... that is the way I felt with at least one of mine. Partly because I was overly anxious to have my baby in my arms.

As for having a girl.... I would not worry about it.
I have 2 girls and love them and enjoy having them.
Each baby is different and you will experience things different with them whether they are the same gender or different genders.

The main thing is that you will have a beautiful little girl to love and dress pretty.... Don't worry about it right now and just enjoy it when she gets here.

Hi L.,

I'm also due in mid Oct. The first semester sucked for me becuase of morning sickness. In the last few weeks i've been really emotional to the point where my almost 5 yr old has made me cry and a accidental elbow in the cheek made me cry.
I have a girl all ready and am expecting another. Girls are very demanding and snotty. At least mine is. She has quite an attitude on her which her father said is from me. (probably true) I think all kids are very different though. I have a friend who has the sweetest laid back lil girl.
Hope this helps,
T.

More Answers

You have to remember, your body is going through a major change that it's not used to. And some of us have the luxury of an easy pregnancy, while some of us, have horrible ones, but we do it for what it brings.... I have 2 girls and a boy. They are ages 6,4, and 2 1/2. When I had my first girl, it was as easy as pie! It was great, easy more because I was a girl (and just because she's a girl, doesn't mean you won't get peed on!) She was about a month just layed her on the bed, and I have no idea how she did it, but it came straight up at me like a boy! LOL But, anyways, I enjoyed having 1 girl more than 2... when you have muliple, you get into the sister issues! They can be cute, but they can be horrible too. Personality wise, my son has the best out of all of my kids, he is the biggest ham and he knows how to get on your good side. The girls are a little TOO independent (my girls are anyways)! So, I think you'll be okay! I always, wanted one girl and one boy! But, I wouldnt change my kids for the world.2 totally different personalities. It will be fun.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.,

From one L. to another and from one pregnant mom to another!! Heres what I think, I'm pregnant with my third boy, my oldest is 3 1/2 and my middle is 22 months. With both my sons I had postpartum depression, my anxity was through the roof, I was so worried about my little guys and then so worried about my older one when the next one was born. I would cry at the drop of a hat, people would come to visit and I would just start crying, if the baby cried I would cry worried that he needed me and I couldn't help him. Any how, my doctors put me on Zoloft and it helped beyond words. I stayed on it for awhile after my first son, then went off....to soon I think. Then with my second son I went back on it about 5 weeks after I got pregnant, I should have just been honest with my doctor and went on it right after he was born....duh. Then I stayed on it until I got pregnant with my 3rd son and then stopped as soon as I was pregnant. Well that was dumb, but I was worried of the effects on the unborn baby. Needless to say I'm 35 weeks and went back on it about a month ago I just couldn't take it anymore and I wanted to be somewhat "balanced" when he got here. My doctor told me it was fine to be on it especially at that point I was pasted the first trim. and it was fine. Even with breast feeding Zoloft is fine to be on.

I guess all I can say is your not a weirdo, your a great mom and an even better mom for recognizing the issues you are having and wanting to do something about it. You should be proud of yourself for trying to do something about these issues you are having. I suggest you ask your doctor about going on something now so your "ready" as you can be when she gets here. I know they will probably start you off on a low amount of the med and it seriously may not be enough and you'll have to go up after a few weeks, but that's okay its normal. Remember you have a little guy at home that needs and deserves a "whole" mommy a mommy that can be there as best she can, and it that means going on a med then do it, after all if you were diabetic you'd take your meds and do what you could to keep your self healthy and safe, its the same here. Try your best not to worry to much about having a little girl, you never know what she'll be like she could be very easy going and quiet. You can't get worried about something that hasn't happend or may never happen....although I do understand how you feel. I hope this helped.

Good luck,
L. B.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi, L....I'm surprised about the blues or any moodiness. I have two boys and a girl--boy girl boy. My pregnancies were different (easier)with the boys, and I suffered some major hormonal baby blues after she was born. I really think it's from the overload of estrogen in our systems with girls. But ask your OB what he/she thinks or if they can hellp you. They may want to watch you for post partum depression after the birth. But let them know either way. So far as raising girls, I have a very good girl. She wasn't so easy up until 11, but then she turned really sweet as soon as puberty kicks in ... go figure? But it really depends on the individual girl and her personality and how she's raised. Read some good books on girls...like "Raising Ophelia" and there are other such out there that will help. Check out Borders. They have a whole section of them. Don't stress yourself out though and take it one day at a time. Don't project other people's nightmares with their daughters on your little one until she is born and proves who she is to you. Ok? Hang tight, it'll be ok. Hugs, Kat

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.---
I have 2 girls and a boy and there are real differences (besides anatomical! :)) and you can see/sense it from birth!

I love having girls, the clothes are just way better for one thing! Another benefit, no circumcision to deal with :), you wont get sprayed for diaper changes, and did I mention the clothes?? :)

Mine are only 15months right now and so far raising the girls is just like my son.

Pregnancy can be rough, and each one is different. Give yourself a break for going through tremendous hormone and body changes...of course you will feel up and down!

Once you have your precious baby girl in your arms it will feel perfect and natural!

All the best!
A.

1 mom found this helpful

"A son is a son until he has a wife. A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life". :) :). I am sorry for your baby blues and anxiety. Be sure to be your own advocate with your doctor and process these feelings. Especially if they continue after birth. If there are any post blues feelings, have the doctors treat you accordingly. Be prepared that girls are "trauma drama". I haven't seen a little girl that is not "trauma drama" yet. But, little girls hold your hands for years :) to come. Little girls dress up and twirl :). A little girl provides you with a life long connection to family and holidays and traditions, etc. Please understand that I know boys are capable of the same thing (I have 3 boys and 1 girl), but there is just something special about "a daughter". Have fun with hair bows and dresses and dolls and giggles. And, let me tell you, my daughter can lead the pack in regards to wrestling, and camping, sports, etc. But, then there are the dolls and fingernail paintings, and fun hair do's, etc. I remember thinking, "How can I love my 2nd child as much as my first child" - and a friend told me (in those last VERY hormonal months of pregnancy :) ) "Your love isn't split into two - it is DOUBLED tremendously". Get ready to fall in love again. I said a prayer for you this morning.

She will be the love of your life. she will frustrate you at times, but when you see her eyes looking at you as you explain something to her it will melt your heart. You'll wonder how in the world did I spawn something as mean as her, but then she'll go out of her way to bring you breakfast in bed (with the bitter coffee) and you'll be so proud of the little helper she's become. She'll fight with her siblings of course, but they are the best of friends, and people will tell you how beautiful she is, and you know what she is.....she's your "mini-me" Enjoy

I have 2 boys and 1 girl .... and how I love having my girl. We go and do special girl things together for our alone time. You will love having a girl too:) Congradulations!!!
R.

I had a really hard 3rd trimester this time through. It was was my 3rd child. I had a lot of stress in general so that affected me a lot but also I discovered belatedly that I had gestational diabetes. Have you been tested for it yet? I know that when the sugar is all out of wack so can the emotions be all out of wack. But the whole getting it under control helped me a lot. It sux at first because you have to poke your fingers to check your blood sugar but it can usually be controlled with diet and exercise and thats not so bad, even if you can't stand artificial sweeteners like myself.
I had my 3rd little girl on the 4th of July. Girls are wonderful... and emotional... and everything in between lol. They can be the sweetest things how they can smile and just brighten your day in the most amazing way. Oh the hugs they give too! They tend to be less active than the boys as far as having to run around a lot and such (I did day care for a little boy about my oldest daughter's age and he could sometimes be a little bit of a handful in that department). Don't be afraid of a girl, you will learn as you go and do a wonderful job. Down the road you will look back and think "What was I so nervous about?" Good luck and God bless. ~Hugs~

I think pregnancy lasts 9 months for a reason....it's enough time to "get ready" and get used to the idea but also long enough that when it gets close, you want to be done. I too have a son and then had a daughter last October. When you're used to all boy stuff: blue, cars, trucks, etc the thought of a girl is terrifying. Even picking out all the pink things took some time to get used to. But I also think that God gives us what we're meant to have. In my case, our son (they are 19 mo apart) is very sensitive and easy going. A sister is perfect for him, where a boy might have been too much for him to deal with. I was nervous at first at the idea of having a girl because I consider myself a "guys girl" but she has been the biggest blessing! I know you will feel the same! Good luck! P.S. My sister-in-law has 5 boys and would do anything for a girl!

I would not say you are a weirdo.... that is the way I felt with at least one of mine. Partly because I was overly anxious to have my baby in my arms.

As for having a girl.... I would not worry about it.
I have 2 girls and love them and enjoy having them.
Each baby is different and you will experience things different with them whether they are the same gender or different genders.

The main thing is that you will have a beautiful little girl to love and dress pretty.... Don't worry about it right now and just enjoy it when she gets here.

I have a little girl, am the youngest of three girls and have two nieces so I'm most familiar with girls and what can I say, they are fabulous! My daughter is such a little lover - always kissing everyone and everything - loves to nurture her baby dolls, hugs dogs and puppies. I have no idea what it would be like to have a boy, but from my experience girls are a blast. Good luck and I hope the anxiety and blues dissapte as your due date approaches - keep in mind what fun it will be to have a little baby girl.

When I found out I was pregnant with a girl I cried. This feeling continued until the night she was born. After giving birth to her we (the baby and I) stayed up most of the night. She would look at me and make noises, I knew at that moment she was a blessing and that for one reason or another she chose me, that her and I are meant to be together. Now she is two and the coolest person I know! I paint her nails and we sing songs, she loves playing with her babies and wrestling with her Dad. She hates bows or pony tails in her hair but loves to wear dresses. I do not have a boy and live a completely different life then you but daughters are amazing, hang in there... you'll see!

boys love thier mommas the bestest. i have two biological boys and 5 adopted. my borther has 6 girls my ohter bother has one of each my sister has2 pree teen and 2 teen girls. oh my goodness. that is a house of hormones and drama!! but congratulations anyway. Seriously. it all depends on how youraise them.

At least you've already got one boy so why not be excited about having a girl? Praise God for your son and for the gift of a girl. We're girls and we wouldn't want anyone to prefer a boy over us, right? She's a girl...just like you are...and she'll need and want the same things many girls do. Enjoy the gift of one of each...so many wish they could be so fortunate. Truly, you have, at least, been blessed already with one son. Some never will have that.

L.. I have had three girls. One is 26 she now has a 6 yr old girl and twin boys 4. A 21 yr old who has a 2 yr old boy, And I also have a set of twins now 7 yr old (boy and girl). It's going to be alright. You will have a beautiful girl. You can dress her so sweet. braide her hair ect. Girls tend to potty train faster. walk eariler and most struggle a lot less in school. When your beautyful little girl gets here it will all begin to come together. I believe God gives us what we are best suited for. All will be ok trust in your self. She will truly be a Gift from God. Congradulations and good luck

K.

I always thought I wanted boys because they are so fun & cute! Well, God had other plans cause I have 3 girls. They are so precious! They are sweet & sensitive. You will love your sweet girl just as much as your boy! Plus the girl clothes are soooo cute! :) Enjoy her! Before you know it you'll be paying for a wedding!

I think blues and anxiety are just part of pregnancy at any time, and as the birth gets closer, it makes sense that all the emotions that come along with it would get closer to the surface. I certainly experienced it. Congratulations on finding out that you're having a girl. I'm the mother of 3 girls, 4 and 18 month twins, and you're in for a treat. My girls are beautiful, affectionate, silly, sweet, sneaky, shy, and a complete and utter delight every day. Just as I'm sure you did with your son, you will fall madly in love with her the moment you see her, and she will have you (and hubby, too!) wrapped around her little finger forever. Enjoy!

Hi L.,

I'm also due in mid Oct. The first semester sucked for me becuase of morning sickness. In the last few weeks i've been really emotional to the point where my almost 5 yr old has made me cry and a accidental elbow in the cheek made me cry.
I have a girl all ready and am expecting another. Girls are very demanding and snotty. At least mine is. She has quite an attitude on her which her father said is from me. (probably true) I think all kids are very different though. I have a friend who has the sweetest laid back lil girl.
Hope this helps,
T.

I had a girl when by boy was 19 months old. I have two girls and two boys now and my girls are so different than the boys but they are all wonderful! They are more emotional but then again, so am I...LOL With my pregnancies, I used Endocreme 900 Serum which is an all natural progesterone cream (ONLINE only) and it helped me with the blues...I didn't even get the blues after delivery using this...It is a serum you put on your skin. I still use it, just don't use it during your period or it can make you blue. I didn't use it after delivery until after the bleeding stopped just in case...

How funny. I have a two year old girl and I'm nervous about having my little boy next month. I think girls are easier, but this will be the first boy in my or my husband's family.
I'm sure every pregnancy and child is different. My first pregnancy with my daughter was easier than this one, but I didn't have a toddler to chase around either.
My girl is really into princesses, the little mermaid, butterflies and dresses (i think she likes the feeling of twirling in a dress) but she also loves climbing and monsters, inc. She loves to run around the house growling and scaring everyone.
Only advice I have is watch your makeup! I can't keep the stuff away from her and it gets expensive.
Good luck and Congratulations!

I have a 3 1/2 year old girl...she is my first baby. She is way too much fun! She actually thinks she is a princess, she's into dolls and babys, but she loves playing in the mud and collecting bugs! She is such a joy to have and I really enjoy spending time with her. I cannot wait until she is older and we can do "girlie" things together. I was nervous when my son was born (he's 1 1/2) because I wasn't sure how to raise a boy. So far, things are going great and I also enjoy having him around. He's the sweetest little man, and he also enjoys playing with the girls, as well as the "boy" things. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry, you will do fine, just enjoy them!

when i got pregnant the first time, we wanted a boy. we ended up with a girl and i would not want any other way. our second ended up to be a girl and i couldnt be any more happy. the first just turned 3 and the second is 5months. the fact that they look up to you and want to be like the mommy is so special. i love doing their hair and dressing them up. my 3yr old is defitnetly a girly-girl. she just had a birthday party and she choose a pink and princess party. belive me once you have that beautiful baby girl in your arms things will change. :)

Hi L.,
I am sorry to hear that you have gotten the blues again. Personally, I would rather have a girl! I have 2 of my own boys and a step-son, and 1 of my own girls and step-daughter...this is boy-19, girl-16, boy-13, boy-12, girl-11...now up to this point the only children giving my husband me any problems have been all three boys! The girls are wonderful. I do understand that some people are partial to boys, but after my experience, I would definately go with girls. The really aren't as bad as some people say.
Hope all goes the way it should.
D. R

Girls are amazing!!!!! I have 3 and there's nothing like having a little sweetie copy mommy putting on make up or cooking in the kitchen! Don't get me wrong...my oldest is a jock and it's amazing to watch her kick butt in sports!!! It makes us so proud!!! I'm sure after the shock wears off...you'll be excited!
As far as the blues...I can relate! I am expecting our 4th and after 3 pregnancies with no morning sickness I went through horrible all day morning sickness and what I thought might be depression. I'm sure it's the hormones- but I felt much better after talking to my husband. Try not to worry and be anxious- everything will be fine!!! And as someone else posted..yoga and breathing exercises work like magic. It's never too late to start a yoga practice and it will help you SOOOOOOO much in the delivery! Good luck! I hope you feel better soon!

Talk to your OB about the depression, she will recommend a support group in your area. The depression and anxiety groups will show you that you are not alone and give you a group of others going through the same thing to talk about the ups and downs and all. I would also suggest doing yoga. I have always wanted a little girl and I have 2 boys. I would never change anything as they are great. Both my sisters have 1 or 2 girls and so I can say they are very sweet. I had them over for sleep overs when I lived closer to them and they are just great. Don't be afraid to have a girl, just know that you will have the most amazing experiences with your little girl when she arrives. Girls and boys may be different, but they are both wonderful. You are lucky to have both in your life :-)

D.

I did have anxiety, mostly after I birthed...I think it was because I didn't have a supportive husband, I was recovering from a C-section and I had a two year old. Hindsight they say is 20/20. Yoga and breathing exercises are very helpful to rid anxiety.
I've always been somewhat a tom-boy, babysat and nannied mostly boys. I had a son. I was wanting another boy. I was surprised and scared to learn that I was going to have a girl.

I have to say that as much as I love my son, it has been so great having a girl. She's taught me so much about my own femininity and I feel like we have so much in common. She is so different then being with the boys and for me it's been so refreshing. I have 3 boys and one girl. I love my sons, yet she is the one I bond best with.

Good luck!

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