From one L. to another and from one pregnant mom to another!! Heres what I think, I'm pregnant with my third boy, my oldest is 3 1/2 and my middle is 22 months. With both my sons I had postpartum depression, my anxity was through the roof, I was so worried about my little guys and then so worried about my older one when the next one was born. I would cry at the drop of a hat, people would come to visit and I would just start crying, if the baby cried I would cry worried that he needed me and I couldn't help him. Any how, my doctors put me on Zoloft and it helped beyond words. I stayed on it for awhile after my first son, then went off....to soon I think. Then with my second son I went back on it about 5 weeks after I got pregnant, I should have just been honest with my doctor and went on it right after he was born....duh. Then I stayed on it until I got pregnant with my 3rd son and then stopped as soon as I was pregnant. Well that was dumb, but I was worried of the effects on the unborn baby. Needless to say I'm 35 weeks and went back on it about a month ago I just couldn't take it anymore and I wanted to be somewhat "balanced" when he got here. My doctor told me it was fine to be on it especially at that point I was pasted the first trim. and it was fine. Even with breast feeding Zoloft is fine to be on.
I guess all I can say is your not a weirdo, your a great mom and an even better mom for recognizing the issues you are having and wanting to do something about it. You should be proud of yourself for trying to do something about these issues you are having. I suggest you ask your doctor about going on something now so your "ready" as you can be when she gets here. I know they will probably start you off on a low amount of the med and it seriously may not be enough and you'll have to go up after a few weeks, but that's okay its normal. Remember you have a little guy at home that needs and deserves a "whole" mommy a mommy that can be there as best she can, and it that means going on a med then do it, after all if you were diabetic you'd take your meds and do what you could to keep your self healthy and safe, its the same here. Try your best not to worry to much about having a little girl, you never know what she'll be like she could be very easy going and quiet. You can't get worried about something that hasn't happend or may never happen....although I do understand how you feel. I hope this helped.