July 21, 2008,
L.M. asks from Tucson, AZ on July 16, 2008
3Rd Trimester Blues and Surprise Girl
I've been feeling great 2nd trimestesr, but my first trimester I had a hard time dealing with the hormones and getting the blues and anxiety. Now i'm a week away from the 3rd trimester and it's back. Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this in their third tri or am I just a weirdo? We also found out we're having a girl...not something I expected or really anticipated, so are there any general things people can tell me about girls....nice things, bad things, hard things? It sounds silly since I'm a girl but...raising a girl is different.
So What Happened?™
Thank you every one. I will let you know how things go after she's born. I'm actually already on anti-depressents, I have been for almost 10 years and in general do well, but Im' very sensitive to hormonal changes and have been since puberty, so with my docs I made the decision to go up a dose on my meds. I feel quite a bit better, but the hormones are still bouncing around of course.
As for the girl issues.....I've spent most the the pregnancy running from them until we saw our final sono....so now I've had to face it. I'm going to keep working on it but I'm thinking it won't resolve until after she's born and I get used to her being around. It was the same with my son....unexpected pregnancy (and unwanted) but after he was born....well he's the light of my world now so I plan to work toward this little one being the same thing.
G.A. answers from Phoenix on July 17, 2008
I would not say you are a weirdo.... that is the way I felt with at least one of mine. Partly because I was overly anxious to have my baby in my arms.
As for having a girl.... I would not worry about it.
I have 2 girls and love them and enjoy having them.
Each baby is different and you will experience things different with them whether they are the same gender or different genders.
The main thing is that you will have a beautiful little girl to love and dress pretty.... Don't worry about it right now and just enjoy it when she gets here.
T. answers from Tucson on July 16, 2008
I'm also due in mid Oct. The first semester sucked for me becuase of morning sickness. In the last few weeks i've been really emotional to the point where my almost 5 yr old has made me cry and a accidental elbow in the cheek made me cry.
I have a girl all ready and am expecting another. Girls are very demanding and snotty. At least mine is. She has quite an attitude on her which her father said is from me. (probably true) I think all kids are very different though. I have a friend who has the sweetest laid back lil girl.
Hope this helps,
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G.A. answers from Phoenix on July 16, 2008
You have to remember, your body is going through a major change that it's not used to. And some of us have the luxury of an easy pregnancy, while some of us, have horrible ones, but we do it for what it brings.... I have 2 girls and a boy. They are ages 6,4, and 2 1/2. When I had my first girl, it was as easy as pie! It was great, easy more because I was a girl (and just because she's a girl, doesn't mean you won't get peed on!) She was about a month just layed her on the bed, and I have no idea how she did it, but it came straight up at me like a boy! LOL But, anyways, I enjoyed having 1 girl more than 2... when you have muliple, you get into the sister issues! They can be cute, but they can be horrible too. Personality wise, my son has the best out of all of my kids, he is the biggest ham and he knows how to get on your good side. The girls are a little TOO independent (my girls are anyways)! So, I think you'll be okay! I always, wanted one girl and one boy! But, I wouldnt change my kids for the world.2 totally different personalities. It will be fun.
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L.B. answers from Phoenix on July 21, 2008
From one L. to another and from one pregnant mom to another!! Heres what I think, I'm pregnant with my third boy, my oldest is 3 1/2 and my middle is 22 months. With both my sons I had postpartum depression, my anxity was through the roof, I was so worried about my little guys and then so worried about my older one when the next one was born. I would cry at the drop of a hat, people would come to visit and I would just start crying, if the baby cried I would cry worried that he needed me and I couldn't help him. Any how, my doctors put me on Zoloft and it helped beyond words. I stayed on it for awhile after my first son, then went off....to soon I think. Then with my second son I went back on it about 5 weeks after I got pregnant, I should have just been honest with my doctor and went on it right after he was born....duh. Then I stayed on it until I got pregnant with my 3rd son and then stopped as soon as I was pregnant. Well that was dumb, but I was worried of the effects on the unborn baby. Needless to say I'm 35 weeks and went back on it about a month ago I just couldn't take it anymore and I wanted to be somewhat "balanced" when he got here. My doctor told me it was fine to be on it especially at that point I was pasted the first trim. and it was fine. Even with breast feeding Zoloft is fine to be on.
I guess all I can say is your not a weirdo, your a great mom and an even better mom for recognizing the issues you are having and wanting to do something about it. You should be proud of yourself for trying to do something about these issues you are having. I suggest you ask your doctor about going on something now so your "ready" as you can be when she gets here. I know they will probably start you off on a low amount of the med and it seriously may not be enough and you'll have to go up after a few weeks, but that's okay its normal. Remember you have a little guy at home that needs and deserves a "whole" mommy a mommy that can be there as best she can, and it that means going on a med then do it, after all if you were diabetic you'd take your meds and do what you could to keep your self healthy and safe, its the same here. Try your best not to worry to much about having a little girl, you never know what she'll be like she could be very easy going and quiet. You can't get worried about something that hasn't happend or may never happen....although I do understand how you feel. I hope this helped.
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K.S. answers from Phoenix on July 17, 2008
Hi, L....I'm surprised about the blues or any moodiness. I have two boys and a girl--boy girl boy. My pregnancies were different (easier)with the boys, and I suffered some major hormonal baby blues after she was born. I really think it's from the overload of estrogen in our systems with girls. But ask your OB what he/she thinks or if they can hellp you. They may want to watch you for post partum depression after the birth. But let them know either way. So far as raising girls, I have a very good girl. She wasn't so easy up until 11, but then she turned really sweet as soon as puberty kicks in ... go figure? But it really depends on the individual girl and her personality and how she's raised. Read some good books on girls...like "Raising Ophelia" and there are other such out there that will help. Check out Borders. They have a whole section of them. Don't stress yourself out though and take it one day at a time. Don't project other people's nightmares with their daughters on your little one until she is born and proves who she is to you. Ok? Hang tight, it'll be ok. Hugs, Kat
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A.N. answers from Phoenix on July 16, 2008
I have 2 girls and a boy and there are real differences (besides anatomical! :)) and you can see/sense it from birth!
I love having girls, the clothes are just way better for one thing! Another benefit, no circumcision to deal with :), you wont get sprayed for diaper changes, and did I mention the clothes?? :)
Mine are only 15months right now and so far raising the girls is just like my son.
Pregnancy can be rough, and each one is different. Give yourself a break for going through tremendous hormone and body changes...of course you will feel up and down!
Once you have your precious baby girl in your arms it will feel perfect and natural!
All the best!
1 mom found this helpful
D.M. answers from Phoenix on July 17, 2008
"A son is a son until he has a wife. A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life". :) :). I am sorry for your baby blues and anxiety. Be sure to be your own advocate with your doctor and process these feelings. Especially if they continue after birth. If there are any post blues feelings, have the doctors treat you accordingly. Be prepared that girls are "trauma drama". I haven't seen a little girl that is not "trauma drama" yet. But, little girls hold your hands for years :) to come. Little girls dress up and twirl :). A little girl provides you with a life long connection to family and holidays and traditions, etc. Please understand that I know boys are capable of the same thing (I have 3 boys and 1 girl), but there is just something special about "a daughter". Have fun with hair bows and dresses and dolls and giggles. And, let me tell you, my daughter can lead the pack in regards to wrestling, and camping, sports, etc. But, then there are the dolls and fingernail paintings, and fun hair do's, etc. I remember thinking, "How can I love my 2nd child as much as my first child" - and a friend told me (in those last VERY hormonal months of pregnancy :) ) "Your love isn't split into two - it is DOUBLED tremendously". Get ready to fall in love again. I said a prayer for you this morning.
C.M. answers from Longview on July 17, 2008
She will be the love of your life. she will frustrate you at times, but when you see her eyes looking at you as you explain something to her it will melt your heart. You'll wonder how in the world did I spawn something as mean as her, but then she'll go out of her way to bring you breakfast in bed (with the bitter coffee) and you'll be so proud of the little helper she's become. She'll fight with her siblings of course, but they are the best of friends, and people will tell you how beautiful she is, and you know what she is.....she's your "mini-me" Enjoy
R.V. answers from Phoenix on July 17, 2008
I have 2 boys and 1 girl .... and how I love having my girl. We go and do special girl things together for our alone time. You will love having a girl too:) Congradulations!!!
E.H. answers from Flagstaff on July 17, 2008
I had a really hard 3rd trimester this time through. It was was my 3rd child. I had a lot of stress in general so that affected me a lot but also I discovered belatedly that I had gestational diabetes. Have you been tested for it yet? I know that when the sugar is all out of wack so can the emotions be all out of wack. But the whole getting it under control helped me a lot. It sux at first because you have to poke your fingers to check your blood sugar but it can usually be controlled with diet and exercise and thats not so bad, even if you can't stand artificial sweeteners like myself.
I had my 3rd little girl on the 4th of July. Girls are wonderful... and emotional... and everything in between lol. They can be the sweetest things how they can smile and just brighten your day in the most amazing way. Oh the hugs they give too! They tend to be less active than the boys as far as having to run around a lot and such (I did day care for a little boy about my oldest daughter's age and he could sometimes be a little bit of a handful in that department). Don't be afraid of a girl, you will learn as you go and do a wonderful job. Down the road you will look back and think "What was I so nervous about?" Good luck and God bless. ~Hugs~