19 answers

3 1/2 Year Old Won't Potty Train!!

Please help! My 3 year old daughter will not potty train. I've tried everything I can think of. I put her on the potty every half an hour to 45 min. but she never goes in the potty only in her pants. The biggest problem is she doesn't seem to care about wetting herself. I bought fun panties for her but that didn't even work. I've also tried every potty on the market, still nothing. She loves church so I told her that if she started to go in the potty that she could go to preschool at our church. She seems really excited about that but still won't go when I put her on the potty. I'm at a loss.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Hi J. I am M.. Have You tried letting her read while shes on the potty? My 9 yr old I had no problems training! My 7 yr old however refused to use her potty unless her dog was beside her! So when we were at a friends house i would take a book along for her to read and she would pretend to read to a bunch of people! try it it might work! hope this helps you!
M. mother of 3

I've got a feeling you'll hear this one from many of us but it worked for me. My 2yr old son was the same way and i tried EVERYTHING too. does she have a favorite doll? he has a mr.bear. Mr. bear is paotty training too on one of the many potty chairs we own. It was mr. bears idea not to be wet all the time anymore. WE went alone for 2 days and never even mentioned potty to caleb, but when mr. bear goes potty there were neat rewards like small stickers and 2 m&ms he came around and he is so stubborn, it being his idea seemed to work. Again though i really think not asking him to come and getting rewards made the difference. He's only two but is tall and was wetting through his diapers because they didn't fit well. I'll bet since she's older and wiser she'll give in much faster! good luck with one of the toughest parenting tasks there is!!!!!!!!

More Answers

When I was potty training my girls, I had a reward box. I filled it with different little toys she liked (nothing expensive,purchased at Dollar Tree)and when she went to the potty she would get to pick a prize. We also had a special potty song and dance we would do after she used the potty. I hope this helps, I know it is very frustrating the whole potty training experience.
Good Luck

I was going through this with my 2 1/2 yo just up to last week. Then I got this "3 day potty training" ebook and it said to take a break (put diapers on & make no mention of the potty) for a week or two before starting this program. I was planning on starting it yesterday but on Sunday, my daughter insisted on using the potty... I told her no, "it's for big girls who want to keep their panties dry... just go in your diaper like you always do." Then she went in the bathroom herself and went... we've been dry during the day all week & I even got her to poop in the potty. Now I'm just working on her going potty elsewhere besides home and staying dry during naps. I hope this helps! Feel free to email me if need anything else! ____@____.com
good luck :)

Hi J.,

I have a 2.5 year old boy. He has the muscle control to hold it and is very aware of when he needs to go, he will tell you he is going in his diaper. I got advice from someone to let him run around naked. He know where the potty is and how to use it. He was having trouble getting the pull ups on and off. He has been naked for 3 days now and only one pee accident and NO pooping accidents. He is using the potty! When he does poop in the potty he gets chocolate candy (he never ever gets it. we let him pick it out at the store) he is so proud of himself. I hope something like this could work for you little girl.
Good Luck. I read lots of different ideas...one of them should work for you!
J.

i am having the same problem with my little girl she turned 3 in july and has no interest in going to the potty . she knows how but refuses to go everytime i tried panties worked for a day pull ups she calls them a diaper and rewards still won't do it she goes in the big potty sometimes but doesn't want to take the time to go she doesn't care if she is wet either i don't know what to do but to wait and try again . im a stay at home mom of a 7 year old son and a 3 year old daughter . my son was easy to potty train . i have even tired to let her sit on potty with a book still not nothing has made her excited enough to keep going ..

I've got a feeling you'll hear this one from many of us but it worked for me. My 2yr old son was the same way and i tried EVERYTHING too. does she have a favorite doll? he has a mr.bear. Mr. bear is paotty training too on one of the many potty chairs we own. It was mr. bears idea not to be wet all the time anymore. WE went alone for 2 days and never even mentioned potty to caleb, but when mr. bear goes potty there were neat rewards like small stickers and 2 m&ms he came around and he is so stubborn, it being his idea seemed to work. Again though i really think not asking him to come and getting rewards made the difference. He's only two but is tall and was wetting through his diapers because they didn't fit well. I'll bet since she's older and wiser she'll give in much faster! good luck with one of the toughest parenting tasks there is!!!!!!!!

My daughter was 3 when I got her to go to the potty. I had tried everything imaginable. The thing that seemed to work was the Bear in the Big Blue House Movie about potting. I cannot remember the name of it right now (it has been 4 years). It was the only show on potty training that I could find at the time. It helped her understand why and not just because mommy said so. I hope this helps.
C.

I can really sympathize with you. My 3 year old daughter has no problem peeing on the potty but just refuses to poop. I know she is in control of her bowels. She’ll hold it until she gets home from daycare and then has a dirty diaper at home. This kid has no trouble staying dry when she is awake. I am at a loss to help her stay clean. The books all seem to say that staying clean is the easy one to teach and learning to stay dry a bit more difficult. Maybe someone will have a new suggestion that will work for the both of us.

Hi J.,You are not the only one going threw it, I have boys, not girls and everyone said boys were harder than girls. My oldest is six and he wasnt potty trained good until he was four,My three year old has been potty trained for ayear,He did it on his own he still has accidents because he is playing or it sneaks up on him.I think all kids are diffrent and will do itin there own time.With my oldest I just kept working on him until it clicked.When they start school it really,kicks inthey want to be big kids.Hang in there it will work out.Good Luck T.

Hi J.,
I am having a similar problem with my 3 year old son. I got him to do number 1 in the toilet by letting him run around naked, but he won't go number 2. He will ask to put on a diaper or underwear. Since I refuse to buy anymore diapers, he will just have a BM in is underwear...go figure.He just goes and hides from me when he has done it.

Maybe you could try letting her go bottomless for a while. It didn't take him long at all when I did it that way.

We just got our daughter trained three weeks ago. I thought it would never happen! Our boys were both so easy. With our girl it was a battle of the wills but I refused to give up! I kept telling her, "When this bag of diapers is gone that's it" so when I ran out we went stright to pantys, no pullups except at night. She had a few accidents but trained really quick. When it was time to bm she would ask for a diaper and then go in her panties. Three weeks later and she is totally trined day and night! Try not to pressure her but let her know there are no more diapers!

The first thing is that you have to not to let this get your anxiety level up. Is there another child that can be rewarded for going to the restroom in your home? If so, use reverse psychology on your child. Both of my children were easy to potty train. My son took a little longer and he will be 3 in January. Take your time and relax. Just from reading this, it appears as though you are wearing yourself out and letting her win. The best thing that I ever did was begin to wake them to use the restroom in the middle of the night when I went. They cannot stand for you to wake them up. That is their time. That time simply must be borrowed to pay the potty debt. Good luck and keep me posted.

Hi J.,
First of all, I have always heard that it is easier to potty train girls. Before you get too frustrated, I would take her to your pediatritian and make sure that everything is alright first. It is supposed to be muscle control that allows children to be trained in the first place. I would just make sure first before I did anything else.

Hi J. I am M.. Have You tried letting her read while shes on the potty? My 9 yr old I had no problems training! My 7 yr old however refused to use her potty unless her dog was beside her! So when we were at a friends house i would take a book along for her to read and she would pretend to read to a bunch of people! try it it might work! hope this helps you!
M. mother of 3

Have you tried like m&ms or something she really likes for everytime she goes she gets one. I would let her pick something out at the store and let her know that she can only have on if she goes on the potty.

My oldest did this we tried EVERYTHING and one day she decided to get up and go sit on the potty by herself and from that day on she has used it. I think they have to do it when they are ready. I don't think there is a miracle cure or anything. I know the worst thing to do is get mad because that makes them upset and it seems to prevent progress. You have to remember that every child is different, my youngest had no problem at all but I think big sister helped with that. Hang in there, when she is ready she will do it!

I am having the same problem with my 3 yr old nephew. I have had custody for the last 6 months and he was potty trained 6 months ago but he went thru a rough time and reverted back to wetting in his pullups or diapers..I am in the same boat. If you find a solution please let me know...
A. G

So sometimes kids don't potty train until they are ready. Regardless of how badly parents, and day care teachers want it.

My daughter started to potty on her own at 16 mths old. But she didn't potty consistently (meaning all the time without a pullup) until she was past 3 yrs old.

I know it seems crazy. What worked? We were at a friends house playing dominos. She comes to me crying because she had a poopoo in her pullup. I said ok, and went to change her. I asked why she was crying. She said because the other kids made fun of her and called her a baby for pooping her pants. It was at that moment she told me "Mommy tomorrow I wear panties". I said ok baby. Just thinking it would be the same old thing with her. It wasn't. SHe literally start wearing panties the next day and kept on going potty just like she said.

It was peer pressure that got her to understand how important going potty was.

Now my youngest boy on the other hand.. well.. mawmaw and pawpaw turned him loose naked on their land and he potty trained himself once he knew where things were coming from.

It took 3 days.

The important thing to remember is that every child is different. If she understands potty and just hasn't made up her mind yet, I would suggest talking to your pediatrician to see if they have any creative ideas that other mom's have used in the past.

Hi, J.. What I did for my son was I put him in underwear during the day. At night I still let him wear Pull-ups. I tried to remind him on the hour to go in and go potty. (This was real easy when I was pregnant and had to pee all the time anyway.) If he is dry when he goes potty he gets a small candy like M&Ms. I also bought him some plain underwear and some he really likes (I got him Cars, she might like something more girly) in the morning he can wear his Cars underwear but if he has an accident the dry ones he gets to put on are the plain ones. Maybe this will help. He also really likes wearing boxers but I guess that won't help you.

My daughter potty trained herself, because she did not like to be wet or dirty. My son was a completely different story. He understood but just did not want to participate. When he was 3 1/2 years old I had had enough. One Saturday morning in the summer, I refused to let him put cloth on until he showed me he could use the potty. He was so angry because he wanted to go out and play, but could not with out cloth. After about four hours he gave in and used the potty. That was the end of it. He can be so stuborn, just like his mom....lol
Pick a day that you can devote the plan and go for it. Good Luck.

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