3 1/2 Year Old Crush

Oh dear. This is totally normal.
At 3-1/2 they don't even understand what a crush is. I think she's being imaginative and likely is just being a child. My little sister and one of the neighbor boys had a pretend wedding in the front yard when they were about 4. We had adult friends who had just gotten married.
Does she see you talk to your husband on the phone? Does she see you get pretty for him? Do you let her watch Disney movies where there is always a beautiful girl and a prince?
I used to put a dishtowel on my head every night when I was 3 and my dad was coming home from work because I didn't know I couldn't marry him.
I also went through a phase where I wanted to be a nun because I saw one on TV. Not to mention calling Dr. Killdare on my toy phone when my Grandpa got sick. That gives away my age and it doesn't matter.
Trust me, your daughter will soon go through the phase where she thinks little boys are the grossest and stinkiest creatures on the planet.
Your daughter is just pretending at this point and I wouldn't worry in the least about it.

2 moms found this helpful

arent they cute at this age mine had a girlfriend that lived next door at that age I caught them on the porch kissing(peck kind) then when he turned 7 he wanted to make a romantic meal for a girl at school. normal

1 mom found this helpful

Its normal.
When my daughter was in Preschool, at about the same age.... there were many little boys/girls who had crushes.
its just pretend. Not literal like an adult would think,
My Daughter had a crush on a boy... Johnny, and she'd point him out to me, then giggle, then blush red. Sometimes she'd tell him "hi" then blush and have this huge goofy grin on her face. It was cute. He was a nice boy. I just did not make it a big deal. It told her its good she tells me and he's a nice boy.
I talked to the Teachers and they said its NORMAL and they see this all the time. No harm.

Don't displace or project anything onto her... or she will get hang-ups.

Even since preschool, then Kinder, then 1st Grade.. .the boys/girls had crushes. Then now in 2nd grade, my daughter says boys are yucky. Its all age based. It ebbs and flows. Normal.

My daughter has not had a crush on a boy since Preschool.

My friend's son, had a crush on my Daughter in Kinder. Other girls had crushes on him. His Mom said each year, he has crushes on a certain girl, but only 1 girl and at least he's "monogamous." LOL
One girl even asked him for his phone number, in 1st grade!
Girls...are more of the aggressive ones... because, girls typically are more mature and developmentally ahead in certain areas.

All the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful

It sounds cute - I really wouldn't worry about it unless the little boy seems bothered by the attention - kids will do things like that sometimes - just sit back, watch it and enjoy...

1 mom found this helpful

Go along with her but why dont you invite some childrenover to your house to play raised 4 children A. no hills

When my son was 4 in preschool he got married to a little girl. He told everyone one about his wife. Now at 8 he doesn't even remember her name. At the time it was very cute and I didn't worry about it a bit. He didn't see her anywhere but preschool for 3 hours a day.

Totally normal! Kids that age starte pretending about everything, and it's nothing to worry about. Wanting to look "pretty" isn't a big deal either at this age, just part of the dress-up make-believe process. Just don't make a big deal about it and it will go away...until she's a teenager that is. : )

It is normal for a lot of children your daughters age. You are projecting a little. We have to let our little one's have some leeway with things...this is one thing. I would deflect some of her conversation so that it isn't all about him. Things like you look pretty everyday no matter what etc... My daughter wasn't like this but, several nieces were & it does get worse unchecked. Your daughter will just need reinforcement as the years progress that she doesn't need a boy/man to be whole. That is the biggest pitfall.

my son has a little crush on a little girl at school..sometimes if he sees a pretty barrette he'll say .."oh i need that for Anna" he also has a crush on Daphne from Scooby Doo..and some of my friends..i tell him he can only have one..and he gets mad and says "NO! I want 10!" i say "well you can only have 1 wife one day" "NO i want 2" hey they're young..silly ..its harmless...just make sure they're supervised when alone if ever. Now my son is asking why i'm laughing...hehe..
we can't control how they feel..might as well just try guide them.

my son talks about (and "calls", and "plays with") this friend of his that he only played with two or three times, almost a year ago. i think for him it's kind of like the imaginary friend thing. this sounds similar. maybe she just likes him so when she thinks of a friend she would like to play with he is who comes to mind. also, my sitter's little girl is 4 and has a crush on one of the wiggles. she giggles and watches him entranced and talks about him all the time. i think it's totally normal. i think it's cute! :)

I don't think a "crush " at 3 1/2 is possible.. however, I would be more concerned about the fact that at this early age she feels the need to look pretty for someone else. that is LEARNED behavior.. could be learned from home, or perhaps programs watched on t.v. when you don't think she is paying attention.. kids are like sponges.. they pick up on EVERYTHING..

Don't worry. My daughter is 11 now, but when she was 3 she had a really huge crush on a neighbor. It was almost weird. She's had a crush on several boys since then, and now they are just normal school girl crushes and everything is normal. Throughout the years, I just sort of gently discouraged her a little, saying she is too young. I still say that and she knows she can't have a real boyfriend for a few more years.

Totally normal. My 3yo has had a crush on the same girl for almost two years now! She's 18 and he has been in love w/ her since he was barely walking!!! He also loves her toes-he's already developed a toe fettish!! :-)

Totally normal. My daughter had a different crush from 3-5 years old. Once she got into Kindergarten, she paid more attention to her new girl friends. My Chinese husband totally freaked out about it, and it dissappeared on its own. I will take a totally different attitude when she is a teen. :)

I don't understand why you don't want your daughter being friends with this little boy. She is 3 1/2. She doesn't know what a crush is or what a boyfriend is. I have 3 kids. My daughter is almost 7 and has a "crush" on a boy in her class. When my brother asked what it meant she said, "it just means we play together" My 5 yr old sons best friend is a girl and my 3 1/2 yr old sons best friend is also a little girl from his gymnastics class. They love playing together. When the adults joke about him being her boyfriends the kids just look at them like they're speaking a foreign language. Kids pick up words from tv and the people around them. It doesn't mean anything to a kid at 3 1/2. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Good luck to you.

My daughter (almost 3) has a crush on a 10 year old. At least yours is staying in her own age bracket! Ha.

She does the same thing, calls him on the fake phone all the time. Asks if he's gonna be at every family gathering. Throws his name into conversations... But then when she is around him, she gets all shy and doesn't really even try to hang with him much. He is the best friend of her cousin, so I think it has something to do with this being the first boy she has had interaction with that she knows is not related to her. She worships her older cousins, but it's different with this kid who is around all the time but clearly in a different category.

He doesn't really pay much attention to her when he's around... I sorta feel bad for the kid, it must be awkward as a 10 year old knowing you have a mini toddler stalker. His parents and my sister think it's the cutest thing.

I don't think it's anything to worry about!

K., lighten up. Keep things in perspective. What' s the harm here? So what if she wanted to look pretty for the boy. Don't we as adults want to look pretty? This doesn't mean she's going to be obsessed with her looks or with boys. My kids (b/g), who are yet 2, "talk" on the phone to their twin friends (g/g) all the time. My boy even kissed one of the twin girls on the lips one time. This stuff doesn't mean anything. Let it go. No need to give her a hang up about anything. You're going to have much more important stuff to worry about than this.