3 1/2 Year Old Behavior Changes

It is perfectly normal for a child to go through the terrible twos at three and a half. The best advice I can offer is Dont get mad. When he acts up just give him a time out. Then talk to him about his behavior when the time out is over. It is also a good idea to give positive reinforcement when he is being well behaved. If you catch himdoing something good reward him with some quality time with you ,something like a gameor sitting down to color,something you can do together. when he sees he is not getting attention for bad behavior but is for good he will soon realize the best way to get attention.

Hi L.. My son is going to be 4 in February and I experienced the SAME THING as you. It's like a bad boy switched turned on. I have to disagree with you on your last statement...that time outs/spankings don't work. I do believe that the time outs/spankings...however you go about it do have an effect. I think that we have to make sure we're being consistent. That is the key. That is also the hardest part because when it's constantly all day long it's difficult. There are a couple of pieces of advice that were passed down to me that I'll tell you. When children aren't minding you it's easy to focus on the negative. Try to put more effort on the positive and praising him for those things. I know sometimes I get consumed with the discipline part that I miss the good things he's doing. I don't know if your child has chores, but I noticed that my son loves to be a helper and if I give him things to do and praise him I think he feels a more sense of purpose (like putting away the silverware from the dishwasher, or emptying the little waste baskets into the big ones, dusting the furniture, TV) I try to do little jobs together with him and it seems to help.
I think I'm rambling on a bit here so I'll stop. Just a few suggestions. I'm not saying that these things turned mine into an angel, but when I'm consistent to keep him occupied and praise him for doing good things I do notice positive changes...we have better days.
All my best to you. Happy Holidays!

honestly, this is really typical three year old behavior. He's finding his voice and becoming an independant person. With this age group, prevention and preperation is the key. I would cut the spanking if it is not working, as that may be part of the problem i.e. making him increasingly angry.

my name is J. and i have been through it 4 times myself my children are now 16,15,14,11 and 10. I do not raise my stepson so i didn't count him in how many times i went through this same problem and this worked for me:
try taking away toys or not let him do things that he likes to do like not watch his favorite tv cartoons or shows and take away his favorite toys.tell him that he cannot have these until he can do what he's supposed to those things are a privaleges and he can only have them if he does what he's told. they don't like losing their toys or their privaleges so this might help being the spankings and time outs are not.

The age is really tough. My son is almost three and has been going through the stage for a while now (hehe) and my daughter still tries too (she's 5) I started by trying to take away a toy at a time when the behavior happened but the positive response was short lived. So one day when the two of them were acting out to no avail I calmly took out garbage bags and started packing up every last toy in both of their rooms. Drastic I know but it caught their attention. They screamed and threw a fit for maybe a half hour but when they realized I was serious it stopped. When I was done I sat them both down and explained that as of that minute the toys would be safe from the garbage. With every day that passed that they could show me good behavior or if they did something really great they would earn a toy back. If they acted out worse on one day I would pick a toy to be thrown out. After one week the kids behavior is far better then its been in a while and although they are still earning back toys occassionally (they don'r get it back unless I feel they earned it) less toys around has made them use their imagination more and they are finding fun in the simple things. And I have to admit the less clutter to pick up is great for the appearance of my home LOL Hang in there, you'll find something that works for your family, its a guessing game for all of us!!!

hi take thing he loves away from him put them in a bag in the closet i have a 8 year old and a 10 year old time out and spankings did not work i moved to going this and it,s been working for two years

Oh my god im going thru the same exact thing as we speak.....and your right spankings and timeout have ran out....My son is 4 and im sure like your son he voices his mind and tells u what he wants....well I tell my son no to everything and I stop buying him things and then I send him in his room to cry his heart out untill he stops...he stomps he yells and I pay him no mind sooner or later he stops and he comes and says hes sorry but I still buy him NOTHING.....good luck

hi L.. don't take it personal, my 3.5 year old just started pre-k and he is a nightmare at times. my 9 year old did it also. it's part of their growing process and testing their boundaries. be consistent and he will come around. let him know that NO means NO and if he does not listen, he will have consequences. if time out and spankings aren't working for you, my fool-proof always works remedy is no-videos. my son loves to watch videos, so when he misbehaves or is disobedient, no videos for the day. trust me, it works. so whatever the lil guy loves, remove that and you will see a difference.

happy holidays and enjoy them while they are little. soon they will be grown and we will miss those terror years. (smile)