28 Mo., Refusing Naps but Seems Really Tired! Oh, and Add the Poo Issue.....

I hear ya! My son was about the same age when he dedided that he didn't want to nap anymore either and I was soooo not ready for that. I needed that hour or two during the day. After many weeks of fighting with him over this, I gave up. However, I didn't give up my time. Everyday about 1pm, we walk to his room and go thru the "rules" of quiet time -He can play with his toys, read a book or snooze, but he has to be "quiet". He knows that I will come get him when the time is over. Sometimes, he falls asleep and sometimes not. I usually limit the quiet time to an hour but if he falls asleep say 30 min into it, I let him sleep for another 30 so he gets an hour nap. As he is growing older, he is taking less and less of those but I still get what I call "my lunch hour" (like everyone else who has a outside the home job). I know that there will come a time when that wont work either but I will use this method until then. I remember(way back when) that when I started school (Pre-K), the teachers used to give us quiet time so I dont think that there is a problem with it.

It is really hard to get some things done during the day with kids running about and having that hour to do those (or simply sit and read, eat lunch, nap yourself, or exercise). You may need it just to recharge yourself for the rest of the day - playing with kids all day is hard stuff!

As for the potty training, we went thru it as well when I put him in quiet time - for a couple of weeks, if I had him in his underwear, he would almost always poo in them during that quiet time. It is frustrating but keep with doing what you are doing before and after. After my son did it, I would clean him up and take him to the potty and explain that that was where the poo went. Yes, it took a while and he finally got it. Now during quiet time, I tell him that if he needs to go poo, to yell for me and I will come get him and take him to the potty so he wont ruin his cherished underwear (he loves not being in pull-ups or diapers). I have the monitor on all the time and once in a while now, he shouts for me and we go thru the motions. It was hard but I was patient and it paid off.

Keep at it, you are doing good. just remember that quiet time is for you as well as him.

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My daughter was around 2 when she decided that she no longer needed naps. My husband worked in the late afternoon and evenings so he was home with her during the day. He really needed the nap so he replaced nap time with quiet time. He would go through the normal nap routine and take her to room. He told her she didn't have to nap if she didn't want to but it was quiet time and quiet time was for playing with quiet toys, reading books etc. in her room. She took to it fabulously. Some days she would play and read her books and have a great time and every once in awhile she would actually fall asleep and take a nap. At 11, I don't think very consciously, she still has her own quiet time. She'll just disappear now and then and she'll be in her room reading, or writing stories on her computer. She still needs that quiet time away from everything else to decompress.

So, don't force it. The more you try and force the nap the more your child will fight back. Give the option of quiet play and you may find her getting a nap in as well.
Good Luck.

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My now 3.5 yr old girl went through a few such stages where she would not nap consistentty (or outright fight the nap) for a week at a time. The first time it happened I think she was around the same age as your daughter(or perhaps a few months younger). I was not ready to have her give up that nap (for her or for me!). We did end up successfully keeping the nap, but I recall some moms in our play groups saying their kids weren't napping - it is my personal opinion that at this age, they still need to nap, and it is a matter of parental guidance and consistency. At 3.5 my daughter still has quiet time every day at the same time, and while she doesn't sleep every day, she does still nap at least 3 days of the week. She's better for it and I definitely am too.

My suggestion would be to just be consistent in expecting that quiet time alone in her room and still start her off in bed with a book, etc. What we ended up doing was pushing the nap to 1:00 or 1:30pm start time(which also addresses the poop issue hopefully ... and yes, I recall that issue as well!). I would also wake her up no later than 3:00pm to preserve bedtime (for us it was 8pm). The thing to be aware of is that each child has their own sleep-wake cycle and you need to figure out when she is actually at that napping point, for us, our daughter woke up around 6:45 am, and would be ready to nap at 1 or 1:30ish. If we put her down earlier or later, we would miss that window!

A great book to read on sleep habits and expectations is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

Hope that helps.

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Hi, M.!

I just wanted you to know that my oldest was around 21 months when he stopped taking a nap and it wasn't for lack of trying on my part. I would try for a couple hours sometimes to get him to sleep, but I soon realized that the fight wasn't worth it. I did notice at first that he seemed so sleepy around dinner time, but as he adjusted to a new schedule and a new EARLIER bed time things got much easier.
I just wanted to reassure you that there's no certain age that a child has to keep taking a nap and you shouldn't feel bad if she doesn't nap anymore. Good luck! Hope you figure out a new schedule that works for your kids AND for you!

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I know that naptime is so precious so when they start to show signs of not needing it or still needing it, but not sleeping, it's easy to panic and think something has to change. That's what I also did. But, I would say if it's only been about a week, and she's not disturbing your baby when she is not sleeping, I would stick with your usual nap routine and time for at least a couple more weeks. My daughter's sleep patterns totally changed at about 2 1/2 and haven't really been the same since. But, I have found that whenever she has trouble napping or sleeping at night, it seems to work best if I just stick things out for a while before making any changes. My daughter is now 3 1/2 and what she is doing now to tell me she probably doesn't need much of a nap anymore is that she takes FOREVER (up to 2 hours)to fall asleep at night on days that she naps during the day. So, I would assume your daughter still needs a nap and trust that she will get back to it soon. And, if she doesn't, then you could look at making minor changes and see if you can find what works for you all. Best of luck!

M.,
My son who is 29 months old now did the same thing about 2 months ago. This is what we did. We would eat lunch, clean up then if the weather was good (bad weather ran in circles in the living room, did jumping jacks, etc.) run laps in the back yard for 10 min. Then he was not only physically tired he was ready to rest. (Good exercise for me too) Then we would clean up put on 'sleepy time' music, cuddle for a min or two and change his diaper. (He would pee or poop right before going to sleep as well.) After about 2 weeks of this right after lunch we would clean up and he would say 'nigh nigh time!' I would still chase him a little or get him to do a min or two of physical activity before we actually went down. Now he is to the point where he basically just crawls into bed by him self while I am cleaning up lunch. By they time I get in there he has taken off his dirty diaper and is patiently lying on his bed ready for the clean one and they gives me a hug and down he goes for about 2 hrs. Good luck. Also can try moving the nap time a little later close to 1:00 and see if that helps.
Good luck
C.

Hi! Just wanted to add that my daughter does the same thing...she's almost 27 months and for the past couple of months it's been really tough to get her to nap, if I can do it at all. And, when she naps, she usually is really tough to get to bed. She's up there singing right now and it's almost 9:00.

Anyway, the poop thing is also the same. Almost every time she's having trouble napping, she has a poop. And usually, when she does, I can't get her to nap again after changing her. She doesn't really use the potty much, so there's no way I could get her to go before her nap. And she's not sleeping nearly as much as your daughter at night...so I guess they're all different and they all need different sleep and it's just our bad luck if they don't need as much as we'd like!

I think the eating near nap time might be contributing to the pooping, although sometimes it's hard to separate the two very much. And I'm still breastfeeding her before nap, so that's probably not helping us. Also, although sometimes when she doesn't take a nap it's nice because then she'll go to bed earlier, it's often harder because my husband doesn't get home until late and never seems to understand that she needs to go to bed at 6:30. So sometimes if she's refused to nap during naptime, I'll take her out in her stroller and force myself to go for a walk. It often calms me, and she always falls asleep in there. I know if I do this though we're in for a late night. So, we just take one day at a time. Anyway, just wanted to let you know it's exactly the same with us here!

My 30 month old goes in and out of naps, if I try to make it happen it just becomes a big struggle. So, i just let her take a nap if she wants, otherwise she goes to bed around 6:30-7:30pm.

It's possible that she is just trying to learn the potty stuff and is not taking a nap because she is focused on her body. I am sure it won't last.

My sister had the same issue with her daughter around 22 months. She stopped napping consistently when she was potty training. After she got potty training down, her naps went back to normal. I think learning new skills and/or changing routines affects their nap schedule. That being said, my son stopped napping at 2.5 yrs ~ shortly after his baby brother was born.

Anyway, if your daughter is doing quiet time in her room by herself, I think that's great ~ we were never able to establish that behavior with my older son. Hopefully her naps will resume after potty training!

my daughter is 26 mths old and it sounds just like what she does. one day she just stopped napping. if i force it then she stays up all night. she also would poo right after i put her down. i just let her stay up and she knows that fussing is not ok or she will take a nap. at night she goes to bed like an angel. 10min tops.-good luck

I would try to retain the nap, but you may have to rearrange your routine a bit. Someone told me to use this order: eat, play, nap. We are getting better results with this. A good workout just before naptime does really seem to help, and doesn't seem to empty the tummy too much for sleeping.

My daughter stopped napping at 18 months--every child is different and survives just fine. It is the mother that has to adjust.

well M., my mother gave up trying to give me naps when I was 18 months old(boy do I wish I could use them now!) and my three kids were about the same age, so it may be she's just a high energy person and is getting enough rest at night. I think its wonderful that she will play quietly in her room every day. Good luck to you

Regarding the sleep issues...it seems that she is done with the naps. That is not to say that she will never take a nap again, but she is probably not needing a regular one anymore. My daughter gave up her naps around this age (maybe sooner) and I was in a panic, since our son had already given up his naps, too. Appreciate that she plays quietly.

Regarding potty issues...that's something that will come when it's ready. Do make a big deal about any deposits into the potty. Put her poo in the potty from the diaper and flush the poo away. She will eventually get it and it will end up in the toilet and not in her diaper anymore.

Best of luck to you!

My son stopped napping just after age 2. He did a similar thing to your daughter, or if he did actually sleep he would be awake until midnight. It takes a couple of weeks for them to adjust to the new schedule, but they do. It's perfectly acceptable to have quiet-time in the bedroom instead of a nap too.

Hi M.,
My daughter went through this at about the same age- and again about 6 months later. I tried everything to get her to sleep, and I realized you can put a kid in bed, but there is no way to make them sleep.

I decided that the rule in my house is we all have "feet off the floor time" each afternoon. We try to go potty, then do our nap time routine, and then I tuck her in- I tell her she does not have to sleep, she can look at books, but she has to stay in bed and keep her feet off the floor until I come and get her. If she can do it there is a little reward- maybe a sticker, or a walk to the park, whatever. The only reason to put your feet on the floor is if you have to go potty, then you go to the bathroom, but when you are done, we go right back to bed.

So I explained all of this to her, and she was excited (make it sound like a game)- when she was younger she would stay in bed and look at books or just lay and play with her doll and teddy- If there was no poo interuption, she would often end up fallilng asleep- with the interuption, she would get back in bed, and it was usually no sleep, but at least some down time. If she did npt fall alseep, I would go get her after an hour- make a big deal out of how proud I was that she kept her feet off the floor the whole time- or that she went back to bed after going potty, and then we would go do her reward.

So this started last January- She was 2.5. She had 3 weeks where she napped 1x a week and was cranky the rest of the week. This was when i was playing with how to handle it. She started napping again after 3 weeks, and did great until June when she had another 2 -3 week nap strike. I thought she was going to give it up, but I kept the routine in place, and insisted on feet off the floor time. She went back to napping again. This past month she has started napping 3-4 times a week, and reading books the other days. I think she may be starting to give up a nap (she is 3 and 5 months)but the way I see it, if I don't give her the opportunity, she won't nap, but if I do, she might. I think the down time even when she does not sleep helps (I know it helps me) and this way she feels in charge of herself- I give her the tools and place to nap, but she can choose to do it or not so there is no power struggle.

I hope this helps-
S.

you want to try to move the nap time to a different time. Maybe try it a little later so that the pooping gets out of the way first. The other reality is that your daughter may be moving away from taking naps. My son gave up his naps at two when his sister was born. I was not happy about it, but I couldn't make him sleep when he didn't want to. He still acts tired, but if I do let him fall asleep in the car or stroller then he is impossible to get down to bed at night. Hang in there and try a few different times for naps. Also try running her around right before nap time to get her tired. Be happy if she is at least willing to stay in her room and play quietly during "nap" time. A little down time may be all she needs. Oh, you can also start putting her to bed a little earlier on the days she doesn't nap. good luck!