26 Month Old Won't Nap Anymore

B.-

I think I'm one of the few moms here who isn't a fan of the books when it comes to getting kids to sleep, and I'm sure that people completely disagree with how we approach it in our house.

We have 1 good sleeper (23 months) and one really bad sleeper (3.5 years). The bad sleeper has always been a bad sleeper, and the 23 month old has always been a good sleeper.

But, our pediatrician has warned us on several occasions that kids will go through different stages of sleep quality based upon their development physically and emotionally. Based upon our pediatrician's advice, I think you're doing the right thing by having her in a bed instead of the crib since it's not a safe environment anymore.

I would not recommend locking her in her room - it could really backfire one day and make her room an unpleasant environment instead of a location she wants to be and feels safe within.

I'd recommend asking your pediatrician-they likely have heard this situation 100 times already this year and may be able to provide you some recommendations.

In our case, our son is allowed to come into our room - he has a sleeping bag on the floor that he can crawl into and sleep. With both of us being working parents, we can't compromise the little sleep we get (and our jobs) with dealing with a bad sleeper at this point in time.

Good luck.

Had the same problem and here's the easy fix (drumroll, please...)
Put her in a sleep sack.
Let her pick it out or buy it yourself and tell her they are "special". (My DD refers to hers as her "comfy".) They come in a ton of sizes. Get one that fits her right now. They are about $20.
In a sleep sack she can't get her leg up high enough to crawl out of the crib. If she figures out how to take it off, put it on her backwards - with the zipper in the back.
Problem solved.
No drama.
No power struggles.
No locking her in her room.
No crib tent.
Enjoy your quiet time. : )

Some kids drop their nap at 2, two of mine did. The others will nap until they qualify for social security.

Just be sure to adjust bedtime accordingly.

Oh my goodness. Please think really hard what your goal is. Do you want to break her will or support her to be a strong young woman? 'The body remembers' and being repeatedly thwarted in her attempt at independence at this stage will make her less likely to be assertive later in life. The locking her in her room is never recommended. She will feel abandoned. I do not believe any of the above are your intention or you wouldn't have been reading "healthy sleep" or requesting feedback. Many of the ways we handle children in this culture are based on whatever current book is popular. While parents are well intentioned, these methods are often fads and from a Western perspective. They don't always promote the long range goals that we all want as parents- security, confidence, self-esteem, and assertiveness. Many will create the opposite. If you want info on a more loving approach some recommendations I have are Beyond Consequences.com & the Post Institute. I have four daughters from 3 to 22. Based on my experience as a mom she seems to be telling you that she doesn't need a nap anymore. Some children do not nap and many give up napping by age 2-2 1/2. I also work with lots of children. I hope this feedback helps. Maybe create a quiet time activity like coloring during the time you would want her napping with soft music. She might fall asleep on her own, but if she doesn't at least you will get a little breather. R. Faridnia, MSW, LCSW

Most of my answers have already been suggested. The one thing I haven't noticed mentioned is the level of activity she is getting before naptime. Are you getting her outside for some active play, or alternatively when the weather doesn't allow for outdoor activity, doing active things with her in the house? We put on some good 'dance' music and get our daycare children moving during bad weather days. The activity helps them get exercise that their bodies need and also helps tire them out so they will nap after lunch. An added bonus is that we are dancing with them and that helps our bodies as well!
On good weather days, playing in the backyard or a park on a daily basis is a great way to regulate nap times. When the weather is nice but rain has made those areas too soft for good playtimes, we simply take a nice walk around the neighborhood. During the walks we usually designate goals for the children to run to, and then run back to us. These are times when we not only get them some exercise, but are teaching them safety issues, such as crossing the streets as we come to them, staying on the sidewalks rather than running into the streets, the meanings of street signs, how to handle approaching strangers, how to handle animals if they are encountered (mostly the yapping dogs behind fences as we go by). We are also using the time to observe anything we pass by and talk with the children about what we are seeing. This helps them develop an interest in the world around them as well as helping develop their speech and learning new words. While helping your child learn and grow, you'll also be gaining a better chance of getting an hour or two of peace and quiet for yourself during the afternoon hours!

Actually, I think that you may be trying too hard. You're going to wear yourself out, and then you're going to become a cranky Mommy who won't be deriving the pleasure out of your rather precocious child that you should/could.
Try a new tack w/ her. Instead of "nap" time, try telling her that it's "quiet" time, because Mommy needs a nap, and if she's not going to nap w/ you, then she needs to do quiet things and let you nap.
Then be very boring. Lay on your bed and read, to set a good example of what quiet time means. If you're not reading, be doing something else relaxing and very quiet. Put her books next to you and invite her to read, or string beads.
This will teach her some independent play.
Also, before "quiet" time, try some soothing snacks for her: Starchy stuff or bananas or chicken for the triptophans. Google for more soothing (sleep inducing foods, and scents, then scent her crib/bed/pillow/room.
These are things that can be prepared for in adv. so that you're not stuck trying to rock her or lift her back into her crib at the 11 (hundred)th hour.
If you're not doing the extremely difficult single parent thing, then maybe you could occassionally have your hopefully supportive partner do a "quiet time" shift. Sometimes a temporary change is what's needed.
Sort of like changing the placement of your furniture to find that your whole perspective on some aspect of your life is changed, and now everything is going to flow much better.
Now remind yourself that you're really the one that knows your child best, and if she needs a nap or doesn't need one, you'll know it. She'll be your best indicator, and no matter how many books you read or people (even doctors or other professionals) you listen to, what it's all going to boil down to in the end is what works for you and your fam. and you have to figure that out all on your own.
So feel free to flush any part of my advice down the ____@____.com, and go have a big piece of chocolate, and a bigger sniffter of brandy and take a nap.
You're daughter is probably just having a mental/social-emotional/physical growth spurt.
Growth spurts are not just for the body, and naps are not just for kids.
Worry less. Laugh at her cute little antics and take all the pics that you can, and enjoy the new hobby. You'll live longer, and find life a lot less hectic and difficult.
There will be enuf hectic and difficult later in life.

Hi,

I also followed the Healthy Sleep Habits book and my daughter also stopped napping completely at 26 months. It was difficult during the day because we had just brought her newborn sister home, but at least she still went to bed at 7 and slept through the night. We found that if she did nap, it would be harder for her to go to sleep at a decent hour. If she's not exhausted and cranky during the day, I would just put her down earlier at night or have quiet time during her "nap" time where she can read books and lay in bed. I'm not sure if 2 hours is a worthwhile battle, plus think of the book is a guideline, you daughter may just be ready to drop most of her naps.

Best of luck.

My DD was two when one day she didnt want to take a nap. I am one of those "dont force it" Mommas. Anyway, she hasnt napped since. She is three. She still sleeps about twelve hours a night. She is full of energy and doesnt get cranky during the day. I say if they are awake and vibrant, stop with the naps.

HTH,
Mag

B.,
My daughter is 27 months and she sleeps in her toddler bed. I usually do our routine: Brush Teeth, Read 1 Book, then take our nap. I stay in the room with her until she falls alseep. I sit next to her bed and have her relax with her favorite blanket. She always wants to talk so I answer the first few questions then let her know we will talk more when she wakes up. I then avoid eye contact, usually close my eyes so she will follow. Ususally 15-30 min she is out. I figure I will take 15-30 min more with her then running in and out and having her jumping around. She naps from 45 min to 1 1/2 hours, depending. Good Luck
T.

I find it interesting that most of the mamas that responded completely missed the fact that you say she doesn't want to go to bed at night either. While it is true she may be ready to drop naps (although that is rare at 2), she certainly is not ready to give up sleep altoghter! If she was just fighting naps that would be one thing, but not wanting to sleep ever is another thing. This is a control issue. I'm not talking about you controlling her. I'm talking about you teaching her self control. I have two teen girls that are plenty assertive and independent, but were raised in a home with rules they were expected to follow. When did enforcing rules become confused with 'breaking her will'. Seriously?! Her 'will' is saying she doesn't need to go to bed ever. Your mama-knowledge tells you she needs sleep, whether she wants it or not. This is why kids have mamas!
Some kids are tougher than others. My older was a piece of cake compared to the younger. You really must just stick it out and/or up the ante. Kids gain security by knowing that the adults in their lives are able to care for them and are not ever going to give up on them.

Ok, so my next suggestions are going to make some people mad, but oh well. Some kids are so stubborn that all the time outs (or attempts at time outs!), calmly putting them back 100 times, and other passive consequences are not going to work. It is time for the 'mama is NOT kidding voice.' Not yelling, just stern, serious, and just a little scary. :o) It needs to get their attention. Mine is actually quieter than my normal speaking voice, but it gets attention right away. Now they are older, it has evolved into just a look. That look tells them I mean business and they respond accordingly! In addition to the 'not kidding voice', sometimes a quick swat is necessary to get their attention. Please hear me, I am not talking about beating a child. Or even spanking a child for every offence, but a well placed swat (on diapered bottom) now and then can be what is needed for some kids. She needs to know that your rules will be enforced. This is not a game. 'You put me in bed, I get up. You put me back, I get up, you put me back, I get up, etc..eventually you give up and let me play in my room until I pass out. I win!' What does this look like when she's older? 'I will just defy your rules until you give up on me.'

Go ahead and drop naps, but definitely have some quiet time during the day. You both need it. Sue H. had some great ideas on this one. Save your energy for enforcing night sleep. Honestly you just have to decide you will win. She must have gotten her stubborn streak from someone! :o) Be more stubborn. She needs to know you will never give up on what is best for her. Ultimately what she needs to grow into a strong and assertive woman is an example of that strength in her mama. :o)

Good luck on your continuing adventure in parenting!

We have the crib tent and have been using it for over a year for our 2 1/2 year old. I can't see how a child could choke themselves on it. I believe it is safe.