21 Month Twins Constant Whining and Crying

I bet they are overtired. In my years of doing daycare I have learned that even though we tend to wean kids down to one nap around 15 months they almost all still need two naps until they are really at least 2. I think that is the major cause of toddler whining. You may also want to watch The Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD and use the suggestions in there. Those techniques plus more sleep will probably solve everything for you.

They may be overtired. It can be hard to get a really good nap in a group setting. You don't mention what time they go to sleep but you might try moving it up. Also, perhaps some of the things you do in the morning or evening don't have to be done. The less hurrying around, perhaps the less stressed they will be and will enjoy more play time. I went to this great parenting class at Musikgarten where the teacher reminded us often that "this time will pass." So while I love to cook, I don't really do it at present. Our food has become really simple and in general I eat in the middle of the day and just have a snack in the evening and get something easy for my little one. This means that we can play full time when I get home until she goes to bed. A whole bunch of other things that I used to think "had to be done" have been ditched. Getting out in the morning can be a real challenge. I am personally lucky because I have in home care and so don't have to get my little one out. So I try to play with her for an hour or two in the morning before I go to work. Do you see certain triggers for their crying ? If it is anything at all, then I think they are tired. good luck.

Certainly teething or sleep issues can contribute - trying some tylenol or adjusting sleep schedules is a good idea. Beyond that, a lot of whining / crying is due to frustration in communicating your needs. Some of this will come with time, and some of this is not knowing how to present a problem differently. My kids will often whine something to me... "Sarah took my toy." I will repeat it back to them and say, "Mommy doesn't like whining, say it like this... "Sarah took my toy." in a tone that's more normal. They will repeat it back appropriately and then I reward them for doing so with hugs and kisses and praise. As a parent of multiples, I also see that the whiney's are contagious. I try to praise the kid who isn't behaving poorly, so attention is directed in a way that re-enforces good behavior, rather then putting all the attention on correcting the whineys. This way the crys and whines aren't just a way to get mommy's attention. Good luck.

You said it happens in the morning and when you get home. These are both connecting times when they know you will be leaving for the day .... and when you just return both times are busy getting ready to leave --- coming home and making dinner. They just want attention and if you are busy they will demand it with a tantrum. Now when you yell back to them they got your attention. Kids will work for negative as well as positive attention. Let them help you get ready to leave the house give them a small project, then tell them what a great job they done by helping you. I would have mine put clothes in the laundry basket set shoes in a straight row tell them the kicthen chairs need wiping, anything to take their mind off of mommy's gonna leave soon. When you come home and are getting dinner ready sit them at the table with the older brother give them glue sticks and cereal with paper and if they nibble who cares it's cereal. let them be creative then each can put their own on the fridge. ( oh my look how nice that came out ) They won't have time to think about the tantrums Plus they'll have what they want YOUR ATTENTION. Bingo markers and paper are fun too, a little more messy but who cares. They can handle them good and you can get many colors. Buy a cheap table clothe just for art time. Keep their supplies in seperate boxes for each child . Put them out let them pick what they want to work on for the day. When it's over they can put their own away. Go online look up simple projects for them. Always involve your older child the younger ones love a ring leader. Kids love structure make this a routine , you'll thank yourself for it

I think that there probably tired. Make sure they are getting enough sleep. I notice with my 21 month that when she goes to bed later then usual she is very cranky in the morning. This one is not going to day care but my others did and they were always tired after school.

They are probably over-tired. Call Dr. Weissbluth: ###-###-#### and you will be soooo happy. He has a new book about twins coming out this Summer...

Hi Y.,

I have a set of twins that just turned six. When they were that age they did whine a lot. It was because they wanted my attention. It was hard because my husband and I worked. They knew they had to go to daycare and I had a very stressful job and when we got home I would be exhausted. I would cook and try to give them some time but I was so tire. I decided to resign from my job in 2006 because unfortunately my twins had a lot of health issues and the pediatrician told me that I had to take them out of daycare because their immune system was not strong enough be around other children. I first took a leave of abscence and then eventually resigned.

Once I started staying home the whining calmed down a lot and then they started whining about other things of course. I know everyone is not able to stay home. I really did not have a choice in the matter. Initially it was hard and I had to sacrifice a lot but I thank God that He blessed my husband with a job where we could afford to pay bills and live comfortably with one income.

I now have 14 month old and the twins are now fighting for my attention. I have fraternal twins and my son tells me on a regular basis that I love the 14 month old more than him. It is going always be something that you have to deal with when it comes to children. You just have to figure out what works.

It will get better.

Are they getting enough sleep? You can try putting them to bed a half hour earlier. Could it be allergies instead of colds? You can check with your doc again. Are they getting too hungry before dinner can be cooked? Its hard to know what goes on with your children when your at work.Hugs for doing it all

Welcome to the terrible two's. The terrible two's don't just start at 2 years old & stop at 3 years old. They start at around 19-21 months & stop at around 3 & a half. You're lucking you didn't go through this with your son. But now the twins are making up for it. Don't give in to tantrums. If they demand things or are whining then tell them they can have what they want when they ask nicely. When they are crying about something tell them to use their words because you can't understand what they want. This phase will pass if you don't give in to the poor behavior.