20 Month Old and Sleep Habits

Hey J., That sounds really hard, I know it's never fun to be losing sleep. And it sounds like you really enjoy having a private bed with your husband. I recently worked with a family to help a child transition into his own bed from the family bed. Max (at about the same age as your son), had been going to bed on his own for a while and then suddenly he reverted to wanting to sleep with his parents. First- We explained to him that it's important to sleep in his own bed so that everyone gets enough sleep. Then we stayed in the room with one hand through the crib slots, laid down on the floor until he was close to sleep and then quietly exited. Over a period of several weeks we began to take our hands away sooner and sooner until we could put him down and leave the room. I hope this helps a little and I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, it's always hard to hear your little guy crying and upset- especially at bedtime. By the way have you read "The no-cry sleep solution for toddlers"? I found it very helpful. Good luck!

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We have an empty twin bed in our little girl's room (she is 17 months and sleeps in her crib -- the twin bed has never been used for anything beyond letting her climb on it and is only waiting for her to get big enough before it is used), so if we were in your shoes, I think we would try to cuddle with her in the twin bed first (laying her on our chest) and then getting her in to her bed. Perhaps cuddling first for 30 minutes, then 20, then 15, etc.

That said, we have discovered (the hard way) that letting our little girl cry it out works best. I have had to leave the house (with my husband at home) because it is a brutal thing to endure. We have never had to go for two hours, though. Makes me wonder if your pediatrician might have some ideas.

Good luck -- please keep us posted!

maybe try letting him fall asleep in your bed, then once he's sound asleep move him into his crib. he'll wake up in there and hopefully gradually get used to it again. good luck!

Maybe try having him sleep next to your bed first and then move him back to the crib. But I'm probably not the best to give advice on this, I have an 8 month old I can't get out of my bed.

There is a wonderful book called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It worked miracles for me!! Hope that helps.

I feel for you! We had to let my son cry it out as he stopped sleeping if we were in sight. It was HORRIBLE for me and I think I gained 10 lbs in the 2 weeks it took to get it down to only occationally. Some things, I checked on him and rubbed his back, dried his face, and such every 5-15 min. for up to 2 hrs. and it took, as mentioned 2 wks but he slept more soundly then ever before after it was all done!
I have heard that putting him in his crib right next to your bed and then making the seperation farther and farther each night is a more peaceful but longer way to do it. I liked the idea of leaving the house and leaving dad in charge if thats possible. Good Luck, Jen

Hi J.,

We have been there and dealt with that many times. I can say that for our child it took a couple of days to adjust to the crib again. Also, about that age, we took the railing off the front and made it a todler bed. We then put a gate in the main door so she could not get out at naptime/bedtime. That helped us a lot.

We also began reading, praying and cleaning up right before bedtime. That routine helped our family solve the whole a tremendous amount. In our case, and probably most cases children need a routine that adjusts with them. For a bit she did fall asleep at the gate. However, we would come in a few hours in and either move her, or wake her and have her walk to the crib.

Another thought is that sometimes the pressure on a plane can take a lot out of a child. So, if you flew a natural remedy is airborne Jr. It assisted our family before and after flights in treating issues caused from the barometric pressure. That can also cause a teething issue. I have to pay attention to the cries. If it is a cry of pain, I go in the room, or stay right outside. If it is an obvious attention cry, I let her cry for 5-10 minutes, and if she does not stop, or fall asleep, I go in. Our daughter is 2 next month and we will be moving her to a big kid bed soon. Every child is different. Some kids transition easily from a crib to a toddler bed with ease. Others jumb straight form the crib to a big kid bed.

Just do your best to be patient and trust your instincts. You and your husband sound like very attentive parents. Your children are blessed to be loved so much! I am sure that the issue will be resolved in no time. :)

Blessings,

Katherine

crying won't hurt him. But let him do it a little at a time. Establish a routine, Dinner, a walk outdoors maybe, a warm bath with lavendar baby bath followed by lavender lotion (gentle massage), read him a book, say prayers (if that is what you do) then tuck him into bed. If he cries.. let him.. for five minutes. Go back and rub his back and tell him you love him in a soft voice then let him cry for 10 minutes, repeat, adding 5 minutes each time up to 20 minutes. At this point.. try a mini-routine.. change his diaper, give him a small bottle or nurse if you are still doing that, then put him back.. and repeat the 5-10-15-20 minute routine. Each night you do this will take less time and really should only take 3-4 days. You have to stick to it though... and be firm. The crying should wear him out enough to go sleep.. but you are reassuring him each time you go in.. he will now you will come in - he'll just have to wait a little longer til you come in and may fall asleep waiting.

It may be tough hearing him cry.. so go in another room..set the timer and listen to some soothing music with headphones on. Consider taking turns doing this with your husband, so your son will see you are both on the same page.

He did it before, he can do this again.

Good luck.

I think you said it. go gradually. OH by the way I know 2 hours seems like a long time to you but believe me, eventually they will fall asleep. You could start by saying story time is in his crib. read the story then take him to your bed. then story time and 5 min quiet time. you can sit in there while he is in the crib. is nap time in the crib?
reintroduce the crib as his space. when you clean the room you can put him in the crib with a quiet time toy or a book. I would rather sleep with my parents than sleep alone, after all you sleep with someone. Have you tried moving him after he is asleep? when he goes to your bed to sleep don't lay with him. Just a few ideas. good luck and stay sane. if you find the only way is to let him cry it out, buy an ipod or an MP3. :-) I was traveling a lot when my son was small and I needed him to be able to sleep where ever we ended up. Everytime we would go to sleep I would play a specific tape, Mozart. then when we went to a strange place, I would play the tape and he would fall right to sleep. to this day Mozart makes him sleepy - he is 20! Peace be yours,
Valerian