2 Year Old with Sleeping Issues, Abandoment Worries..

Updated on January 14, 2010
K.B. asks from Round Rock, TX
12 answers

My 2 year old son has always been a great sleeper, he has been sleeping through the night since he was 2 months old and sleeps until about 9 or 9:30 in the morning. Every once in awhile he will wake up in the middle of the night and turn on his music toy that I have in his crib. He doesn't cry or anything. Should I go to him and get him up and try to get him to go back sleep? Or should I try to let him go back to sleep on his own. I am worried that he is going to feel abandoned if I leave him in the crib while he is awake like that. How long should I give him to fall back to sleep if he does wake up. If he cries I usually go straight to him and comfort him, but he is not crying during most of these episodes.

The last 2 days have been rough as his daddy's work schedule has temporarily changed to working overnights. Last night he woke up after being down for 3 hours, but was crying when he woke up, and when I got him out of his bed he was inconsolable... Could he be having night terrors that are waking him up?

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

Yes, leave him in the crib to sooth himself to go back to sleep.
But if he is crying, absolutely console him. He very well may be having night terrors and there is nothing you can do for him except hold him.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

wow i think Pam B got her answers mixed up lol!

I think if he is waking and not crying then he is not having night terrors, and if he is not crying then he is not worried about anything, if he goes back to sleep on his own i would just let him - most of us have been trying to get our kids to do that for years lol.

last night may have been a one off due to you feeling stressed, these things always rub off on our kids - sounds like you are doing everything great

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

When my son was this age I played the radio on a station that had soft music. When he woke up it was on and when he went to sleep it was there for the sounds. It got to the point that when he was very tired and I turned on the music he was out like a light. Made bed time easy and nap time came easy for both of us. Leaving on a small light might also be of help. Good luck.

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K.R.

answers from Houston on

We should all be so lucky to have your son! Really, at this age (he is 2 YO, not 2 months, right? Your A Little About Me says 2 months, but I doubt he is turning on a machine at that age - lol) he knows that you are there for him already. Even when he starts to cry, you probably shouldn't go to him immediately, try to let him get himself to sleep within a few minutes. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, so enjoy the little quiet you can find with a toddler.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Houston on

It sounds like he has found a good was to self-soothe. This is a good thing for him and for you. I don't think he will feel abandoned, he will just know that there are some things he can take care of himself. He'll cry or call for you when he needs you or if he is frightened.

Regarding the second paragraph, it sounds like he may have had a nightmare, or maybe a night terror. If it just happened once, or only once in a while, I wouldn't worry about it, we all have an occasional nightmare... just give him lots of comfort, which it sounds like you did.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

yes he could be having night terrors. our pedi told us that after about one yr. they start these night terrors. sure enough our son (now two) has had about 4.
When he was staying the night with the grandparents he woke up and my dad played with him for several hours! of course the next day he was grouchy. i informed my dad that if that happens simply tell him its night night go back to sleep. Sometimes my hubby goes in and hugs our son and tells him its time for bed and loves on him for just a few mins. seems to do the trick.

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

for heavens sake leave the baby alone!! let him soothe himself back to sleep himself. if you get him then he will cry for you everytime and then you will be asking how you get your child to sleep without you.

your son is fine, believe me he will not feel abandoned. all babies will wake up and play at some point--it is good for them. it teaches independance.

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K.C.

answers from Austin on

K.,
What a loving compassionate mom you seem to be, and you seem to be so in tune with your son. If that is the case, my guess is that if he needs you he will let you know vocally. I am a mom and a parent educator and in my experience kids whose needs are met are likely to be more self-sufficient. Also, if a child trusts that his/her caregivers will come when needed then they will feel safe to call for you if they need you.

There are some great calming strategies that you can use if there are any more problems with bad dreams, etc. If you would like the resources just contact me back and I will send them to you.
Blessings to you and your family,
K.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Be thankful he's not crying for you. If he's not calling for you - he's not needing you. Let him be. You could tell him to lay back down if you must - but don't do anything else.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

I agree that if he isn't crying, then let him be.

That being said, the second definitely sounds like a night terror. The timing, the age, what you're decribing is definitely in line. I have a lot of experience with night terrors. Any disruption in scheduling and my daughter will have them night after night. She is also prone to them if she is taking certain medications--dextromethorphan; Singulair; Zyrtec.

They're normal. They usually occur early in the sleep cycle--our touble time is 1.5-2.5 hours afters going to sleep. Sometimes she'll respond to me...other times it is like she is possessed. We've experienced episodes up to an hour...and then it is like a switch flips, she'll smile at me ask to cuddle and go back to sleep. It is usually only one a night, but we've also been up every hour.

One thing, they can become a little uncontrollable during these terrors. I wouldn't let him cry it out if you suspect it...he could end up falling out of the crib.

It is worth mentioning at your next appointment with the pediatrician, but probably not worth worrying about unless they increase in frequency and persist over time. When I changed my daughter's daycare it took two weeks for her to settle down.

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L.W.

answers from Houston on

Hi K.,

If your son is waking up and not crying, then I would leave him alone. They are human just like us, we don't sleep straight through the night, we wake up a few times during the night and go back to sleep right! So nothing is wrong with him, if he does wake up crying, I can tell with my son if it is a hurt cry or a bad dream cry. either one, I usually will wait a few minutes and he will go back to sleep, or if his cry continues I will go in there (I never pick him up out of his bed) comfort him and leave. Also, I would probably get rid of the crib toy, that may keep him from going back to sleep sooner since it sounds like he is getting up to play with his toy. You want to make his room and bed totally meant for sleeping, so the toy may confuse him.

Hope this helps :)

L.

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V.K.

answers from San Antonio on

I know it is hard to hear your baby awake (even when not crying) and leave him alone, but if he's not crying just leave him be. He is growing up and needs to know how to get himself to sleep. I had the same worries with my little one and finally got over it. Sometimes she wakes up and plays a little bit and chatters to herself...it is really hard not to go get her but if I did, she would get excited and would take forever to go back to sleep.

On the other hand, I agree that when he is crying you should go check on him if it seems like a frightened or "I'm in pain" cry. Sometimes though, he may cry just a little bit in his sleep, kind of like talking in sleep. I usually wait a minute to make sure it is the real thing before I go in. Good luck mama!

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