2 Year Old Son Won't Stop Hitting

I think this is normal boy behavior... My son will be 2 in JUne.. and he says... hit momma.. hit daddy.. hit sisssy.... then he just might hit someone...

we tell him no hitting.. but he still does it.

His sister did do some hitting but she got the message very quickly that hitting was not allowed and she stopped.

Boys are a bit more challenging...

At home you have a naughty chair to put him in for time out and consistently put him back there till he stays. Without talking to him after the first return.
When he's learned to stay put and his time is up, you explain why he had to stay there, extract an apology, and give each other hugs. Hubby's got to be on the same page and do exactly the same.

Meanwhile, at the store, you can put him in a time out at the store, or remove yourself and him from the store, sit in the car, and when he's calmed down, explain again, extract apology, hug, resume shopping.

Or forget about shopping and go directly home. I would highly recommend watching Supernanny on Friday nights too. Excellent advice and all 3 of my boys are gone and I still find it interesting to watch. She's very good.

I had one son that was a terrible hitter at this age. Remember that he can't use words like he wants to yet and it's frustrating to him. Be very consistent and don't let him get away with it anywhere. My son would hit, bite, kick, all of it. I would try to hold him until he calmed down, but it took just about all I had and he was 30 pounds!
He is still very physicall with rib breaking hugs when he's excited but he needs to learn to channel his energy and what is appropriate.

My daughter had the same problem at 15 months. We'd just moved to Michigan and she was having a hard time with the changes. She was also needing more one on one time with me, giving her physical touch and quality time. I was used to her being very independent and also pushing me away (ever since she was an infant she's resisted cuddling).

I'd recommend reading the 5 love languages for kids by Gary Chapman. I'd read the one for adults, but the kid one is good to get into kid behaviors more. It really helped me identify her needs and start fulfilling them. It made a huge difference!

One thing that you probably need to do when he's hitting is to get down on his level, hold both of his wrists so they're immobile, and firmly tell him no. Hold him in this position, give him a time out, and when the time is done, don't let him up but have a little talk about hitting and why he was in time out. If he gets upset and starts it up again, repeat and do another time out. He'll learn that when he's calm he can be free. Also encourage him to use words to express his feelings, as his vocabulary grows it will be amazing to see what's going on in his head.

Best wishes!

Bear-hug him until he calms down. Tell him quietly you are holding him close until he can control himself. After he's calmed down tell him it is unacceptable to hit or kick (he won't listen in the throes of a tantrum) and talk about what he was feeling when he lost control.

Sorry to say, I think this is perfectly normal behavior. He's lost control and doesn't know how to regain it, hence the flailing. He's trying everything he can think of to exert his influence over you. In time he will find other ways to express himself.

My daughter did the same thing! She was so different at that age than my son was. He was always calm and sensitive to "hurting mommy". But I can tell you that she did outgrow it and it was a phase. I would often hold her arms down until I would get her into timeout. I would tell her firmly that we do not hit or hurt each other and that was a BIG NO-NO. She would scream and throw her tantrums then in timeout but we just stayed firm on how we handled it and she finally outgrew it when she learned that it wasn't working for her.
Be strong! And consistent! I know it can be embarrassing in public or at a friends house. It takes awhile for them to learn. But he will!!
Good luck!

My son will be 2 this summer and we have experienced similar behavior. I find if I simply hold his arm or hand firmly without saying anything, it tends to correct the behavior. When I feel he has lost control I also put my hands on his sholders firmly without talking to him until I feel his body relax. This ususally works! When I see him not hitting, I praise his behavior.

Good Luck!

Hello R., Any type of attention during a fit, talking, touching, etc., will fuel the fire. The #1 thing your son is after is attention. Negative attention is still attention. The best way to put fits in their place is to totally ignore your son, as if he is not there, walk away, go into another room, walk around the house a few times if you must. When the fit is over with then go on as if the fit never happened in the first placce. Do not EVER give into a temper tantrum, other wise all the power is in the childs hands. A quote that I posted on my frig when mine were young was " If you cannot control them at 2, you will never control them at 12". These words gave me the strength to stay strong and not give in. The other part of this senario is to find times when your son is BEING GOOD and shower him with positive attention so he his not desperate for the negitive. Good luck, I hope these words have helped.

Is there something he CAN do to redirect him? Like say we don't hit people, but you can hit the floor, a pillow, something else.. or we don't hit, but we can do X.. maybe jump or whatever.

My son is 2 and he'll do this type of things at times too and we say ouch hitting hurts and redirect him to something else. I think sometimes they just can't say how they feel and it gets bottled up.

When he is throwing a temper tantrum and you pick him up... Bear hug him with his arms to his side.

One thing I do is immediately sit down to hold them if they are pitching a fit... (Hey, they wiggle and kick and if I am sitting down I can't drop them.) Yes, I have even sat down in the aisle at walmart. :-) And I whisper to them. They realize you are saying something (even if its your grocerylist) and quiet down trying to hear you. Muttering and whispering are different. Speak legibly, but softly. And right by their head... Yes they may try a headbutt...
Try it at home first to see if it may work for your guy...

And I just want to let you know that I have 3 kids... When I see a child throwing a fit in a store or anywhere I have NEVER thought " what a bad parent". I watch the parents reaction... There has been about 2 times I have ever been able to say "whoa" about a parents reaction to a kids tantrum.
Stay calm, not yelling back at your kids, not threatening with things you don't follow thru with(i'm gonna take that away from you if you don't stop... I mean it.... stop it now or i'll take it away.... One .... Two,..... three... I said now... stop it.... stop it I said... shhh.... quiet... wait till we get home.... hush now.... fine,here, have an icecream. ---- Not only does the kid get what he wants (ice cream) but also gets to keep what he had wanted before) smile and say things like "we don't need that crying, screaming, yelling, spitting, etc..." as you continue on with your errand...

If you have to leave the store until they calm down...

When I see a child pitching a fit I usually think something like "poor parent... I remember that stage. Stay strong mom and dad! It will pass"

Encourage him to use his words.
when he's hitting, kneel down to his level, hold his arms down and tell him softly but firmly " I know you are angry but we do not hit people..." Maybe get him one of those punching bags that you can take him to and tell him if your mad about something hit this Instead of me.
He understands more than we know, but just can't express himself yet...And that is agrevating all in its self.

Keep strong, stay consistant, and remember... There are many of us out there that are and have been in the same boat. Not all the looks are sneers... Some are encouraging!!!

Some children are more strong willed and have strong emotions than others. Staying calm and doing the time out thing is really good. Saying I know you are angry but it is not OK to hit when you are angry...when he gets language and is better able to communicate you might see this decrease because they can tell you before they boil over.

However, I just read an article about High fructose corn syrup and how some children have "melt-downs" as a reaction to the high fructose corn syrup. It is in just about everything and being your child is 2 and more recently has probably started eating lots of "real food" makes me at least wonder if this could be partly to blame.

This is totally normal. My daughter went through the hitting phase as well right after she turned 2. It drove me insane! What I did was every time she hit me, I'd stop her, make sure she was staring at my face and explain to her very sternly "it's OK to be mad at mommy but we NEVER, EVER hit anyone - you can tell me 'Mommy, I'm angry at you' but you can never hit me - hitting hurts". I know it sounds silly to try to reason with a melting down 2 year old but, shockingly, about a month or so after starting this, my daughter stopped hitting me and would instead yell "Mommy, no like that!" and point sternly at me when she was frustrated or angry (at first, I almost wanted to laugh because it was kind of cute but then I was thrilled she had stopped hitting). The biggest reason 2 year olds hit is that they don't understand how to express anger and frustration without physically lashing out. At least with my daughter, it seemed to help to give her a new outlet to express her frustration (telling me she's angry and doesn't like what I'm doing). My husband would look at me and roll his eyes when I tried to reason with my daughter at first but when she started responding positively, he bought right into it. Of course, she still has her moments where she reaches out to hit but it almost never happens anymore.

Of course, things that other posters said like not paying much attention to it is very important too. With my daughter, I always had the little conversation and then ignored the tantrum until she calmed down. The key, however, is consistency!

Best of luck :)