HELP :) We live in an unbelievably great neighborhood where all we do is hang out together. Most of us are just starting our families. I was the first to benefit from a shower. Now after three neighborhood baby showers, two of us want to give back to a couple who is adopting from Veitnam. Our shower was a very fun evening couples shower, but several people have complained because they couldn't bring their kids. The new parents to be have voiced wanting a shower like ours. What do we do? Any ideas are appreciated! :)
Those were great ideas! Especially having the two houses so close, one could easily host children. We'll see how it all goes, the shower should be in a few months. We are also tossing a BBQ picnic idea at a local park around. Then there is room for the kids and everyone's space. Thanks again!
have a block party, warm weather is coming if one of you have a big back yard or see about using a nearby park, you could barbque, have games for the kids and bring gifts for the newest member of your neighborhood. get the kids involved by each bringing a small gift too.
I would suggest giving the family what they want. Give them a shower like the ones you've had in the past. Perhaps, you could recruit some teen agers and pay them to babysit at a different house or in another portion of the home while the shower is going on for those parents who need chilcare.
I can't tell you how many showers and engagments we've missed because we had no one to keep our kids. So from both perspectives I can see why each wants what they want. But by the same token you don't want this family to feel slighted because they are adopting and everyone else actually gave birth.
Maybe someone could babysit the kids at the other person's house who isn't hosting the shower. If they are all in the same neighborhood it should be easy to drop off the kid and walk to the shower......
Just a thought!
You should follow the wishes of the honored guests....always! You could offer a childcare option for those who needed it. Perhaps one of you could arrange that at your home, while someone else hosts the party nearby. Even hiring a teenager or two, asking parents who choose the childcare to pay $5 per family, or some nominal amount. This covers the expense, and the issue...leaving everyone feeling included and cared for.
Definitely plan the type of shower the honored parents would want. If everyone invited didn't all live in the same neighborhood, would you even consider how other folks covered childcare?--I doubt it. But since you are a close neighborhood group, and you are inviting couples and not just moms (leaving dads to babysit), you can do one of two things:
1)Make it an official family event where kids are clearly invited. Then you, as the organizers, would be in charge of hiring a couple of local teens/babysitters to keep the kids occupied during the shower.
2)Make the shower clearly for adults only and spread the word that people who need sitters may want to consider getting a group sitter(s) at their house during the shower. This puts the responsibility for childcare on the people who need it and not on you as party planner. If your child is old enough now and you need a sitter too, I think it's perfectly fine for you to ask if any other neighbor would like to volunteer their home for the sitters. If no one steps up, get your own sitter, and let the other people find someone on their own or stay home.
Personally I think it's enough for you to be throwing a party for your friends. It's great that you're trying to be proactive and find a solution for your other friends--and maybe you'll set the precedent for future neighborhood showers--but other people's sitter problems shouldn't even be a concern of yours.
I've always taken my kids along anywhere they're welcome, and I know how nice and easy it can be to just go places as a family, but I also understand how great it is to hang out with only adults, and your parents-to-be should really get that if that's what they want.
As an adoptive parent, I am overjoyed to hear that you are planning a shower for a family who is adopting! Before I get to your issue, one suggestion on the timing of the shower. You may want to have the shower after the family returns with their child(ren). We had a shower before our first adoption, lost the child after a few days as the b-mother changed her mind, and had to come home to all the baby stuff sitting there. It was horrible. With our second, successful adoption, our shower was held after placement. Everyone loved it as our baby was there to be a part of it.
I love to take my child everywhere, but some places are not appropriate so I don't take her or opt not to attend. Plan this shower as you and the parents-to-be want it. Those who have kids can choose to get a sitter or not attend and just send a gift. You can't make everyone happy. It's most important to make the guests of honor happy. It's nothing personal against those with kids who want to bring them. An evening, couples shower is not a place for children.
Good luck!!
If you're in a great neighborhood, then maybe there are babysitters that would like a job. Have one house as kid central near the house where you are having the shower. That way if parents are needed then they are only a cell phone call away.
If you can't find a sitters then have the parents rotate through watching the kids. That way everyone gets a turn to go.
If the guests of honor do not wish to have children there, then that wish should be honored.
I understand how the others want to bring their own children but in my opinion for a new couple with an adoptive baby and the fact that the others may enjoy an evening out without having to run after little ones might be nice. Perhaps encourage your other neighbors to join in with you and the other mother and make it a fun and stress free evening. I enjoy my neighbors and for the most part we have our children all the time but it is nice sometimes not to worry as well. Go with your heart.
Please check out my website, I make personalized mommy bracelets to order- they make great shower gifts. www.freewebs.com/lolosgarden or send me a friend request on www.myspace.com/lolosgarden
Ok, here is my take on this. I have a friend who has been trying to have children for 14 years. They went to the Ukraine to adopt their daughter in Sept 07. A baby shower was given by myself and a sister. This was about my friends and their new daughter. No one else in the world mattered at that few moments. We had all been able to have what we had always wanted and could enjoy those fruits. They, on the other hand, could not. They finally at long last got the child they have always dreamed of. It wasn't about us, our children, it was about them and their dream coming true. It's about not being selfish and being SELFLESS. If people can't understand that, then they probably don't need to be there. Not trying to be mean, but let's put things in perspective. Does this make sense?
Please don't misunderstand me, I am not telling you to be rude. This obviously does put you in a very bad position. If those people had any kind of heart, they would understand, period. I would pray for discernment and wisdom on how to handle this. I am very straight forward, so I am sure there is a better way to explain it to your friends. My best to the family and their new little one.
You need to do what the parents-to-be want since the shower is beign given in their honor. If the other parents are having a hard time finding sitters perhaps higher a couple of sitters to have a 'group sit' at one of those parents' homes that would be willing.
Hire (or barter) couple of neighborhood teens to be on-site sitters in a separate room. Have plenty of kid movies, popcorn, etc. Once you're in the kid world, you just have to be flexible.
The hard part comes in who takes care of the kids if it's a couples shower. Is there a family or two in the neighborhood who has older children who could babysit for all the others? Or, if all the kids are "in arms" it might not be very difficult or disruptive to have the little ones there.
Since it is in the neighborhood, why don't you hire a babysitter (or two - depending on the number of children) to watch the kids in one house and have the party in another? You can set the babysitter up with some age appropriate activities and happily have your shower. I am sure that everyone would be willing to contribute $5 towards the babysitter's fee. Would that work?
It’s their shower give them what they want. And you can have someone else host something for the kids of the parents that will be attending the shower.
Well, maybe you guys could get a couple of the neighborhood teenagers together and have them watch the kids at the home where the shower is being held? That way they're still bringing the kids, but they'll be in a separate area playing with the other kids. Parents can check in on them while still being able to have a fun, adult evening. This has worked very well for our group in the past.
Well my thought on this is that if kids come you want enjoy it at much. Because you will always wonder what the kids are into or up to. The next thing iswhere are you having the shower at? Is there really going to be things for the kids to do if they come.
I would recommend hiring a couple of responsible teenagers to watch the children in a play room or basement or next door so the parents can be nearby but still have time for adult chat time at the shower. If it is nursing babies, why not let them bring the babies along? I personally have never been to a shower that included children but I guess it is possible, I personally see it as a chance to shower the mom-to-be or parents-to-be with attention without other people's children hogging the limelight!!
I am a nanny and read your post. What about asking someone to watch the kids in the playroom at the party. I have done that several times for friends and clients. Either each family individually pays the sitter or everyone can chip in on a grouo rate. That way the kids have a kid party and the adults have their children close.
You might consider hiring someone to entertain the children (onsite of course) while the adults are participating in the shower.
I do stuffed animal parties and would be happy to help out. The kids could make an animal for themselves and also make one for the coming baby so they would be giving a shower gift to the parents and baby also! For the same price as babysitting service the kids would take an animal home, make a gift, and have a good time!
You could also see if there are some teenagers in your neighborhood that could provice onsite babysitting for you.
Having babysitting arranged would be a win/win for everyone. Everyone would be able to attend and having the kids on site would ease parents' fears of people they don't know.
I too had a great couple shower but we did it early evening so the kids could come. We set up two college students to help with activities with the kids so the adults could spend time together. Have the parents with kids pitch in to help pay the "babysitters". Have some kid friendly finger foods in separte room and let the babysitters keep watch. Its win win.
Hire a really good sitter. Have the sitter planned activities for the kids so it is like a seperate party. You might even consider a sitter team if there are many kids.
Check with a local church and a Children's Church Ministry team might want to do it as a fund raiser.
If you know someone who has an older teenage daughter or niece, or maybe even a well know girl in the neighborhood, you could offer some onsite babysitting. Parents who want to bring their children could pay the babysitter to watch the kids. It allows parents to be close to their kids but still enables them to have a little alone adult time. This has worked wonders in the past for my father in law who hosts a golf tournament every summer.
This is just a thought, I'm not sure if it would work or not. Can you find some older teenage kids to watch the little kids during the "family" baby shower? Maybe set up a kid baby shower in the basement and have the teenagers play shower type games with the little kids to keep them all occupied while the "big kids (adults)" have their shower up stairs.
Good luck!
K.
Maybe you could get a few of the fathers to babysit the children while the women attend the babyshower. Or you could find some responsible teenagers in the neighborhood. I think it's really great that they're adopting and I've heard it's really expensive to do that so a babyshower probably means a lot to them and their family.
it's about the parents-to-be not that's what you have to remember. you can apologize for the inconvenince if you like but the other parents should recognize it's what makes the guests of honor . . . feel honored. (remember, we can never please everyone)
Here is an idea for you - your group could put on a shower and have a sitter lined up to watch the kids maybe in a play room (bonus room area) or keeping them outside (weather pending). That way each couple doesn't have to individually get a sitter and the parents are literally in the next room if need be.
A shower like you had sounds WONDERFUL! It's very refreshing but as a parent understand the "child" issue. Maybe you guys could get 3 or 4 highschool or college age kids to watch the kids during the shower time in a house next door or even in yours depending on how big it is. Just an idea. I know I have a hard time finding a sitter since I am a transplant.
Have a great time and tell the new couple contragulations!
what about doing the couples shower like you planned and having a local teenager (or two) babyset the kids at the neighbors house. i'm sure people wanting to bring their kids wouldn't mind spending $10 on a sitter (that's cheap to me) and the sitter wouldn't mind making some extra money. if you're close with the people in your neighborhood, i bet someone knows someone...
I myself have been in that situation before. I threw a babyshower and requested no children, however once I started throwing them more and more I realized the reason we keep having baby shower's is because we are having kids. so I would have everyone bring their children and then hire a babysitter to watch them while the adults were in the other room enjoying the pary! hope this helps!
