M.P. asks from Raleigh, NC on August 23, 2011
Still Don't Have a Babysitter
Is it normal that I still don't have a babysitter for my 18 month old? He is in daycare every day and I'm perfectly comfortable with that, but the thought of someone I don't know watching him alone in my home for a few hours still scares me. My husband and I need to go out alone more often than we do, so I need to get over this. Does anyone else feel this way?
C.J. answers from Milwaukee on August 23, 2011
We don't have anyone to babysit either and he's almost 4.5 years old. Thanks to "Nancy Grace" I trust almost NOBODY.
The grandparents are too old to help and my sister's are busy most of the time so we just deal with it. It's amazing what you can get done once they get into school.
Can't wait for September 2nd when school starts!
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on August 23, 2011
My son is 8 and we've managed without a babysitter for this long!
We do dates when he is at an activity, a buddy's house, etc......
S.B. answers from Houston on August 23, 2011
Have you spoken with anyone who works at the daycare? That is where we got a majority of our sitters.
4 moms found this helpful
B.F. answers from Toledo on August 23, 2011
Everyone's situation is different. If I did not have a teenage weekend sitter that I trusted, then no way would I just leave them with anyone. We have been pretty lucky in that either our sitters daughter will sit for us or we have a coworker of mine whose daughter is also very responsible. We had issues with our youngest until she was close to 2 that she would scream at EVERYONE who was not our daily sitter, myself or my hubby. My sitters daughter started watching on occasion for us then and that worked best and she is VERY responsible. He will be fine, ask around and get word of mouth recommendations of who your friends use as a sitter..Go slow if you are nervous and just do a quick dinner then maybe next time a movie then a combo till you build up the feeling it is ok to take a date night. Youc an also find good sitter listings from the red cross since they do CPR classes for sitters. I try to find one around the age of 16.
1 mom found this helpful
J.F. answers from Omaha on August 23, 2011
Not unusual--my daughter was probably a year old before we left her with a sitter.
My suggestion, if you want a night out, ask one of his day care teachers to babysit. That's what we do and it's worked out great! Our daughter already knows her, the babysitter already knows our family, and I am confident knowing that she has all of the proper CPR, first-aid, and early childhood training.
1 mom found this helpful
J.L. answers from Lexington on August 23, 2011
I felt this way for a long time with my daughter too. I was so afraid to leave her with anyone and was terrified of putting her in daycare with people I didn't think could possibly give her the attention or love that we do. Its a process you have to ease into. Do you have any family nearby that you would be comftorable with watching over your little one while you and the hubby go on a date night for a few hours? Our daughter's preschool does something called "Parent's Night Out" every so often where they keep the children throughout the day until 7:30 at night. They all get to come in their jammies and always seem to have a great time! Keeping that relationship with you hubby is super important (I'm sure you already know that) and I'm sure both of you need a break every once in a while from being Mommy and Daddy to just being husband and wife. Good luck!
1 mom found this helpful
L.M. answers from Greensboro on August 24, 2011
We had many of our childrens' daycare teachers to babysit for us to go out. My children knew them and the teachers were often glad to be making extra money.
S.J. answers from St. Louis on August 23, 2011
My husband is just like you. He doesn't trust anyone to watch our baby, not even his own mother. It frustrates me because I know the baby will be perfectly fine in another's care and he and I need alone time. Badly!
So, does it bother your husband that you two don't get alone time? If not, then I would say you could wait a little longer until you are more comfortable. It is perfectly understandable to be uneasy leaving your baby. But eventually, baby needs to develop relationships outside of you and daycare. She needs to realize that others can care for her needs too! And you need a break other than going to work. Ask her daycare girls to babysit - they would both love it!
I wish you luck! If you do budge, tell me how you did so I can try it with my husband!
J.X. answers from Los Angeles on August 23, 2011
I think it is a difficult hurdle for most parents. I don't remember the age, but it was after one year before we used hired help not a grandparent. I would describe it as first day of a new job, using a metro link for the first time, unknown kind of scary. I recommend you bite the bullet and get over it, because its the searching and fist time thats the hardest. The first time is going to make you really uneasy. but do it when you and your husband can go on a local date so you feel you can come home at any time. Don't wait until you are desperate and need to attend a wedding or function thats not a moments drive away. Staying local will really ease you into the babysitting thing. FYI mine are 3.5 and 1 and I still hate leaving them with sitters, but my oldest can't wait for her play time with babysitter and we always find the time to ourselves was long long overdue.
as for finding a sitter I have had great lucy with craiglist (interviewed and stayed home with them the first few times) The others were young girls my husband knew from work or their teenage daughters, and a neighbor girl (who's mother was available if anything went really wrong).
You will likely feel more at ease if you skip the teenagers (look collegiate, or older)
D.D. answers from Charlotte on August 24, 2011
Why don't you see if any of the day care girls will babysit. We had 2 of my daughters day care ladies as our primary sitters before we moved out of state. They always seemed to want to make some extra $$$ and they already know you and your 18 month olds routine.
I have also heard of sittercity.com. You join for a fee but can do reference and background checks on the sitters.
Good luck and hope you get a date night soon!