2 And a 1/2 Year Old's Fears

M., any response you give to this behavior will reinforce it. Simply state there is nothing to be afraid of, and continue to use the items as you always have. Do not overreact, frown, or over-console her.
Remember, any reinforcement strengthens the behavior.
Hope this helps!
V.

Ok, strange question. Any chance that she had tubes put in her ears recently? My daughter had tubes put in at 11 months and was able to hear some of the things you mentioned for the first time so things like the dryer buzzing, the noise of the vacuum and such scared her.

This behavior reminds me of the movie "Rainman," in which Dustin Hoffman's character was autistic. I'm not saying your child is autistic, but there may be some sort of sub-autistic condition that is suddenly making it more difficult for her cope with noises. (I know that when I'm tired and around lots of people talking, the buzz of conversation around me just about drives me nuts and I have to go outside in the peace and quiet to cope.)

My 3/y/o son has for the last several months been scared of ceiling fans and being up high. We couldn't place what started it, and then finally realized that we had a home movie of his uncle "sticking his hand in the ceiling fan" and joke-yelling. At the time we took the video (a year ago), my son was there and laughing uproariously. But I think that seeing the video made him think that Uncle Mark really was hurt, and now he's thinking he's going to get hurt. Has she seen any movies or TV shows (even when you think she wasn't watching) that may have shown scary noises associated with normal household appliances? I think of movies like "Gremlins" or "Poltergeist" or other even worse horror flicks. Shoot, "Monsters, Inc." may scare some kids. It's hard to pinpoint something like that (we only figured out the video-fear connection in my son because one time he happened to say something about Uncle Mark getting hurt), but you may be able to ask her if she saw something scary about it.

As far as what to do about it--tough call. I would suggest that for a while just calmly tell her before you start the microwave or whatever that you are about to do it, and if she doesn't want to hear/see it, then to go to another room. You may actually make the fears stronger by coddling her too much--she may think there is a reason why she ought to be scared if you play into her fears too much. (My mom did this w/her wheat grinder and some of my nephews--made such a big deal about turning it on that they did get scared of it.) Be careful of your tone of voice--speak positively and upbeat.

With my son, we've just not tossed him up into the air or held him high, and he's not talking about ceiling fans every day now. You can't really do that with the microwave and bathtub; but you may have some success with just making sure she's out of the room before you use it.

I would suggest that you not allow her to scream and fall in the floor, even if she is scared--give her the option of going to her room, if she wishes, but there are more appropriate ways of demonstrating fear than that.

Have you had her ears checked? My son also seemed "scared" of loud noices at that age and it turned out to be his ears. We had his tonsils and adnoids taken out and tubese put in his ears and he is no longer arfraid.

Just a thought....you might check if you haven't.

D. M.

Look into what else is happening in her little world. Often things that we know not to be serious are VERY serious to a little one. (loss of a favorite doll at the mall, Daddy not saying goodnight, seeing or dreaming something frightening, etc) Did she wake up one night and become frightened due to not knowing what that thing was (her ceiling fan) on the ceiling in the dark? That happened to my son at about 3 years old. I let him turn the fan on and off at the wall, then we LEFT IT OFF so that he would feel in control of it. I "told" the fan that we were going to leave it off that night because it had tried to scare David and that wasn't nice. (silly, but it worked) David and I decided to leave the fan off for almost a week until it was hot in his room one day. I held him and encouraged him to pull the chain to turn it on low, but I "told" the fan not to go faster because it might try to scare David again. Then we left the room and closed his door partially. He DID go look in at the fan, but didn't go into the room that day. At naptime I turned the fan off for him. After a few weeks, he didn't seem to be as scared of it any more; well that I know about.
Does she feel insecure or threatened about something else? As far as the larger machines, or the water running could it be the NOISE instead of the vibration? If her ears are sensitive due to a sore throat or allergies (which close off the eustatian tubes & cause pressure in her ears) the vibration might irritate it enough to actually make it hurt. If it is NOT a medical thing, I might try giving her a special "comfort item" to hold while sitting in a special chair or on the sofa, but this might not work to well with such a young child. As a concerned mom you are trying to figure this out and work through it, so hang in there.
Anything that is a concern for your daughter can show itself as an irrational reaction due to her not being able to express her thoughts clearly yet.

M.,

Have you had her ears checked? If she was mine I would take her to an ENT specialist. Could be that she is hearing frequencys that you are not hearing. If there is pressure it could be very painful.

She may be having ear problems. My daughter did this due to ear infections. Her ears would clog then unclog and the noises would be louder to her. Maybe you should get her hearing checked even at this age it is possible. Hope this helps and good luck

My daughter started the same thing at about 2... she was SO petrified of the bath running, the toilet flushing, the vacuum, or pretty much anything that made a loud and sudden noise. For a while I just did my best to keep her away from things I knew would frighten her (vacuuming when she was at school or asleep, running the bath before calling her in, etc...) but this got tiresome and trying to teach her to flush once she was potty trained was REAL tricky.... I finally talked to a child psyciatrist about it (I happen to work for one) and she said that it's probably because my daughter has grown up in such a quiet household (no siblings, no loud fights between me and her dad, living in a quiet suburban neighborhood)... she's gotten SO accustomed to the peace and quiet at home that the loud noises startle her more than most kids. She assured me that it's pretty normal and that as time goes by her reactions will become less dramatic, but she did tell me that keeping my daughter away from the noises is not helping. Emily's now 4 and still gets jumpy around certain things but the tantrums have subsided... I guess it's just something she needed to be exposed to for a little while. The best advise I can give you is to continue to reassure her that there's nothing that will hurt her and that the noise won't last for long....try to distract her with a song, game, or TV show. All the best, and I promise it's not as bad as it seems! Feel free to message me if youhave any other questions....sounds like our girls have a bit in common!