Recently my 19 month old is throwing tantrums when putting down for bed and naptime. He has been sleeping through the night and going to sleep on his own since about 12months old. Is this normal to revert back to this. I have not changed his routine. I am not sure if I do the crying it out technique again. Now that he is older he gets himself so worked up he can hardly breathe. I almost feel as if we are going through some separation anxiety again. Is this normal at this age?? Any suggestions.
I have found this to be a normal age for separation anxiety. Both my girls were like that. I would have to rock or put them to bed already asleep. Sometimes they would wake in the middle of the night and sometimes not. I did find that naps and bedtimes were more challenging because they were afraid I was leaving for some reason. It is a stage and can be tiring, but it gets better.
When my 20 month old did that, our doctor, who is a sleep expert, told me to put her down a half hour earlier. He thought she was crying because she was overtired. He could be going through a growth spurt and might need more sleep. Or since he's more active now than he probably was when he first started sleeping through the night at 12 months, he might need more sleep to restore all the energy he uses in his active life. I would try a slightly earlier bedtime. Our doctor says that if kids go to sleep at a proper time, they shouldn't cry. If they are crying, they are going to bed too late. If you want more information, check out Marc Weissbluth's book (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby). Good luck!!!
Try reading Elizabeth Pantley's books on sleep. There's a toddler book that might be helpful.
K.,
I am a child development professional. Kids go in and out of phases with sleep so unfortunately just sleeping at 12 months doesn't insure that pattern forever but it is a great start. Once you know your child is tired then it is time to sleep. Period. Put him down and he will be mad because he is getting a personality and a will of his own. He doesn't want to separate from you or give up play.
Put him down and go in every five minutes. Pick him up and let him calm down and quietly say, "Mommy loves you, it is time to sleep". Don't say or do anything else. Just that one sentence. Do it every five minutes and I guarantee he will give up. When I did this with my son it took five times the first night. Then once the second night. It depends on how strong willed the child is.
I feel you need to go in every five minutes (watch the clock because it is a long five minutes!) to let him know you are there and also to calm him back down. But he will be very angry when you leave and that is okay.
Let me know how it works if you decide to do this. I tell parents when their kids cry picture them saying, "Mom I am so tired please help me sleep" because that is what their crying is about.
A.
I am the mother of 3 boys, ages 9, 5 & 3. My advice is just when you think you have your child on a routine, it will change. All 3 of my children went through phases such as yours. They would sleep through the night for months, then all of a sudden wake up in the middle of the night for a week. My youngest son has been the easiest child to put to bed out of the three. He usually asks to go to bed. His latest phase is to throw a complete tantrum at bedtime. He's in a normal bed now, so we don't have the luxury of a crib to contain him. The main thing with little ones is to be consistent. The sooner he realizes you won't give in to his cries, the sooner he will revert back to the old ways. As much as it drives you nuts to hear them cry or throw a fit, stick to your routine! Trust me, you'll have a much bigger problem on your hands if you divert. Hang in there, it will pass. Good luck!
K.,
I have an 18 month old who has been in the past a fantastic sleeper. We did the CIO method when she was 9 months or so, and she has gone for long stretches (months) where she's fine at bedtime. Then, there are the weeks that, for no reason at all, she cries, screams, when I put her in the crib. I have found that it usually lasts about two weeks and then they get back in the groove. Cognitively and physically, this is a huge time of change for toddlers. It could be teeth (molars), it could be that he's just about to learn a new skill. I've heard that that can throw them off schedule. Give it some time and just keep sticking to his schedule and try to remain sane amidst the crying and screaming. I read that you are 5 months pregnant. That makes it worse for you to hear your baby crying. I'm 7 months pregnant currently, and the nights that my daughter doesn't go down well and I listen to her wail are the worst! I think it's the hormones.
Best of luck to you.
Sounds like an advanced case of the terriable 2s. He probably wants his way like a million others that are turning 2. Your little guy is ahead of the program. He must be very intelligent. Congrats mommy. I'm sure it's due to you. Happy holidays and many joyful years of raising your child. Every day is a new experience.
K.,
My daughter went through a the same thing around 2 yrs of age. We let her cry it out again and she eventually stopped. However it took a bit longer as she had more will power at 2yrs of age. She would cry and have a tantrum that at first would last 20-30 minutes and after about a week or two it was down to about 5-10minutes then down to 2-5 minutes (that lasted about 3 months). She is now almost 3 and we don't have any problems with naps or nighttime.
One of my girls started doing this a few months ago when she was the same age as your son. She would scream, cry, shriek -- she got so worked up that she actually vomited! She would also wake her twin sister who was usually a sound sleeper. After a week or two of that, we ended up moving the twins to their toddler beds. They've been fine ever since. You don't say if he's in a crib or a bed. If he's still in the crib, maybe he's ready for a big boy bed. If you aren't ready for that, I don't know about the crying it out when he gets that upset. I tried letting my daughter cry for a while because she would normally escalate when she would see me. But when she crossed the line of vomiting, then I couldn't ignore her anymore. Good luck!
I think this is normal. My 18 month old who started sleeping through the night at 4 months, has gotten much more savy about the fact that sleeping means not playing and so she jumps up and down in her crib yelling "no isabella downstairs" and names all her friends that she wants to play with and then tells you every activity that she wants to do then (brush teeth again, get milk, even change diaper). Not being a huge fan of cry it out, I comfort her for 10-15 mins and sometimes she quietens and then plays with animals before sleeping but sometimes I eventually have to leave her and she cries and then falls asleep. But I never take her back out of her crib so that she would learn that protest would work :)good luck
