17 Month Old Still Not Sleeping in His Crib....

Updated on August 13, 2008
G.G. asks from Lagrangeville, NY
9 answers

Hello mom's. Thank you for all your advice with my last request to mamasource I have tried getting my son in his crib at night to sleep. Lastnight was the first night in weeks that he has slept all night in his room!!!!! I am not getting too excited we'll see what the next few night's bring. I have been thinking of having my husband convert his crib to a toddler bed how crazy would that be being he is only 17 months???? I'm just thinking if he still refuses to go into to his crib in his room at night to sleep that if he's in a toddler bed and I am able to be next to him in his own room to fall asleep would be a start? I just want him to be on a normal sleeping pattern and have him love to sleep in his room like he used to up untill he turned 1yrs. I thank you in advance for any added advice. Thank's girls.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

Stick with the crib until he either climbs out or he is sleeping really well in his crib. Don't mess with his routine just yet. I just last month started my 2yo on a set bed time. She is still in her crib because for me it is one thing at a time. She wants to sleep in her sisters big bed but until we have a set bed time that isn't problematic she will stay in the crib. Of course if she figures out how to climb out I may have to rethink that but until then the crib gives me reassurance of where she is. A.

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N.B.

answers from New York on

We are still expecting our first child, but my nephew is four years old and had the same problem when he was about the same age. He is now STILL unable to sleep on his own and cries every night. We are making a mental note not to get into the same habit when our little bun arrives.

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J.V.

answers from Syracuse on

My son was in his toddler bed at around the that age. He loved it! Thought it was the greatest thing. He was able to get into it all by himself and was so proud! We did make sure we put a gate up at the door so he wouldn't wander or fall down the stairs.

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T.E.

answers from New York on

Hi Georgina,
I would skip the crib. I wasted time trying to get my daughter Meghan, who is now 3, to sleep in the crib. I did it because everyone expected me to. I would nurse her to sleep in the recliner, wait until she was good and asleep and transfer her to the crib. If she woke up when I put her down I had to start all over. Finally when she was about 19 months I got smart. I put a full size futon couch in her room, opened it into a bed and nursed her to sleep there. That way, when she was barely asleep I could sneak out of the room. A routine that used to take an hour or more was cut down to 20 minutes. My son is now 15 months. He still sleeps in our bed and I will soon set up something similar in his room so he can start sleeping in his room.
I just read some of the other responses. With all due respect, sleeping with your baby now does not mean that she will always want that! My daughter slept in my bed until she was around 9 or 10 months and then slept in the crib for a year, after I rocked and nursed her to sleep, and then slept on the futon bed for a year with me lying down with her. Now she is three and goes to bed on her own. These things do not last! Give them what they need and they will grow up to be secure children and adults.

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D.B.

answers from New York on

Georgina,

If you want him to sleep in his own bed, and in his own room, then you're laying next to him until he falls asleep is NOT the answer. He has to learn to be comfortable being alone in order to do that....your staying with him until he falls asleep isn't any better for him than your putting him in bed with you!

Spend some quality time with him before bed every night. Read him a story or just talk to him until he gets sleepy, and then leave the room, and don't go back in, even if he cries. Also, leaving a night light on, or your hall light and opening his door slightly may help.

At 17 months, I wouldn't go with a toddler bed just yet, especially if he won't go to sleep on his own in his crib. If you go that route too quickly, you'll not only have to worry about whether or not he's in his bed, but also whether or not he's in his room, once you retire for the night.

This is just a phase that they all go through, and forcing them to make their peace with it on their own is the best thing for them, even if they do get upset about it. How you handle this now will have a direct effect on his sleeping habits later in life, so try to stick to what YOU want him to do, and not give in just because he cries!

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C.H.

answers from New York on

My two older children were about your son's age when they went into the toddler bed. They had no problems. Just make sure that he can not get hurt or into too much if he gets out of bed. My kids hated being in their crib and once they switched to the toddle bed they slept much better. Good Luck!!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Does he crawl out and you are worried he'll fall? If that's the case you may want to invest in the "tent" that attaches to his bed. The zipper of course, is on the outside. If your not worried about him falling then you may have to go the old fashion way and let him cry it out. Sleeping with him will only make things worse! Good Luck.

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L.T.

answers from Hartford on

My 2 cents is that you would just be creating another problem by doing that. He needs to learn to sleep on his own, not with you being his pacifier. You will just drag things out if you create a need to have you in the room in order to fall asleep. it is our jobs as parents to be preparing our children to live independently. If you are there to help him fall asleep, you won't ever be able to go out on a 'date night' or anything because you can't leave him with a babysitter for example. They are smart cookies and will try to get as much leeway from us as we will give up. I once had a nurse tell me, that to change behaviour it takes at least a week of consistent boundaries.

Good luck with making the going to bed routine what you want and need it to be. I know that when we have sleep issues in our house, it impacts the whole family in one way or another!

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E.T.

answers from New York on

My son is 16 months, and would never sleep in a crib either. When I put him in he just screemed as if we were torturing him. I thought it was that he wanted to sleep with us. we recently moved to Korea and left the crib behind in our move. Toddler beds aren't the norm here- a futon type mattress on the floor is more common. We set one up in our son's room hoping we could help him transition. To our surprise, it was no problem at all! He loves it! Whenever he is tired, he just goes into his room and goes to sleep. He gets up in the morning when ready and just plays for a while then walks to my bedroom to wake me up. He seems to be very proud to have his own space, and only once in a great while do I have to lay down with him to help him calm down enough to sleep. He does have a stuffed monkey that he loves to cuddle with, and we have a bedtime routine that helps things along. I say, go with your gut. Give it a try and see how your child responds. Good luck!

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