15 Month Old, Hitting Me.....

I would continue the time out since it seems to work with her but I would also tell her if she hits you with or toy it is going to be put up where she will not be able to get it for a few minutes to started with it make it longer each time she does hit you with it. She will learn that mom is not to be hit.

Well, I read something that really opened my eyes about how we respond to kids throwing fits. If we just suppress the not-nice behavior by making them go to their rooms "till they can be nice," then they learn to just fake a smile, and they learn that they can't go to us to work through problems. They also learn that negative feelings are not acceptable, and they don't know what to do with them, and so they learn to suppress them. i dated a guy like that. Blah.

Anyway, Becky Bailey, the author of the book, titled Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, said that the cause of misbehavior is that the child doesn't know the acceptable way to get what s/he wants or to compromise, and if we never teach them, but just suppress their angry feelings, they never learn important emotional and social skills.

You can teach your daughter to keep a little stuffed animal with her, and when she's mad, she can throw it on the floor, but not at Mom. You can teach her that she may not hit or throw things at you or others. But when she throws fits, don't shut down on her. Be supportive through the fit, or just sit quietly by, and when it's over, talk to her in very simple terms about the issue she got upset about.

Really, the book explains it so much better than I. And it's so good at showing us adults what is going on in those little minds. Take a look and see! It will save you a lot of trouble in the end.

L.

When my oldest went through this stage, the advice I was given was to hit, pinch or bite her back whatever she was doing. Obviously I didn't do it hard but hard enough to get her attention and it did. I would bite her back and of course she didn't like it and then I would say mommy doesn't like to be bitten either and after a couple of times she realized that if she hit or bit me, I was going to do the same to her and she didn't like it. That phase didn't last too long. Good luck

Don't second guess yourself. She understands more than you think she does. At her age she will hit or throw things, have tantrums, etc... as an expression of emotion. It's a normal stage of development. Being consistent with time outs is the best way to start her on punishments. Hopefully, as she gets older, you won't need as many time outs because she will understand that no means no. Stay firm with her and be consistent. The first time you give in, she will do what all kids do and take advantage of that one weak moment (mine did). It's harder to start over. Good luck.

J.

Hello H.,
While prayer is always a good thing, an abrupt swat now and then won't hurt. She'll get the msg far quicker. It depends on your tolerence and how long you want to put up with it. He helps those who help themselves.

If only world peace could be accomplished with timeout. In the meantime, Kim C was quite correct and expressed it very well. I'm sure most others did, but I just couldn't read them all.
God bless you.
Sincerely__________

H., if time out is working for other misbehavior then it should work for this as well....my only concern is putting her in her crib.....i'm just saying to keep your eyes open you don't want her crib (where she sleeps) to be a negitive place. You put her there when she misbehaves and also when you're loving on her before nap and night time.....i'm not saying don't do it, just keep your eyes open as she gets a little older, you dont' want her confused as to being in her bed as always a negitive. is she old enough to be up in a chair and stay there? Just a thought. keep on keeping on, she's got to figure out what's ok and what's not. good luck. R.

Sounds perfectly normal to me!! My son went through a brief phase of hitting and throwing, with great accuracy i might add! We just stuck to the no way policy that we used with everything else. I never used time out until he was a bit older, but he did everything early, so i probably was using it before a year old. A time out for both of us really!! Anyway, i applaud you for not allowing fits and tantrums. My son is now 5 1/2 and we never allowed fit throwing or whining, (which i can't stand), and even though he has tried both a few times throughout his development, he has never been either a fit thower or a whiner. Back to the hitting, i'm no expert, but i'm sure she's just trying it out as a means to gaining control, sounds like she is very smart and seeking to gain that control early!! My nephew went through the same thing and with persistent "no" and bringing the arms down out of range, the behavior soon ended. My mother in law, who had seven, always told me to expect changes every three months, and she was right!! Pretty much like clockwork, every three months some of his behaviors would change or he would try new ones out. Sounds like you are doing a great job and the phase will pass quickly! I made the mistake of teaching my son it was okay to throw stuffed animals, because he loved to throw and hot wheels were a real danger!! So, i had to reverse that as he got a bit older. Best of luck.
Have a fabulous day and god bless!!

I don't have any direct advice, however, I would like to comment on using her crib as the time out spot. When my 15 month old starts throwing tantrums, hitting me, or throwing her food all over me from her chair, etc., I would tell her no and go and put her in her crib for a few moments while she screamed of course. But then I thought that it might not be a good idea to use the crib as a "punishment" spot, a spot she goes when she is "bad", because I want her to want to take naps and go to sleep when it is time, and I think it sends mixed messages that sometimes she goes in the crib because she's done something wrong, so maybe every time you put her in her crib for naps or sleep she thinks she has done something wrong. Anyway, so I stopped doing that. I don't know what other place would be a good and safe substitute though. I don't know what to say about the rest, I'm in the same boat, but I thought I'd throw that out there.

Well this is a fine line.Some people take discipline to the extreme, but discipline not properly implemented can do as much damage. The important thing to remember is to be consistant with whatever form of discipline you use. A swat to the hand will probably cease it pretty quick. Children need to know when they cause pain what it feels like. I think they learn empathy pretty quickly this way!I have never had any of my kids try to hit me for long after I started swatting their hands. It usually only takes three or four times, with repeats when they forget.You are setting the standards for their level of respect for you for the rest of their lives. So main point, be consistant!

I don't know what your Christian experience is, H., but we're molding our children's characters for time and eternity. Pray with and for your little one. Hold her close, letting her know that throwing toys is not acceptable nor is hitting you. God loves you and your family. He would empty all of heaven to help you. Place her in His care every morning. You are a good mom. The Lord will bless you and your efforts when you place your trust in Him. The Holy Spirit is there to guide you in every situation. I'm praying for you.

I think time out is a good idea to take her away from being with you temporarily when she disrespects you. However, I would not use her crib. Her crib is one of the only places in the house that is HERS and only hers. It should be a place she feels safe and enjoys being. You don't want her to hate her crib, or you will begin to have problems getting her to sleep there. When she acts out, stop what you are doing, tell her "don't hit", then do something else. If she continues, correct her again and try time out in a neutral place. At this age she doesn't have to be completely alone, just removed from the situation. Good luck!