15 Month Old All of the Sudden Having Big Tantrums- Normal

I agree totally with the other two responses. No matter what don't give in, they learn to be manipulative at a very young age and if you give in now, it will only make things worse the older he gets. Both my son and daughter went through this, although my son was worse at the younger ages, my daughter is now 9 and ughh..sometimes I think she'll be the death of me. Ignoring it is the best thing to do, even just walk out of the room. If he becomes more insistent, begins hitting etc, then a quiet spot or time out in the corner is necessary. The biggest mistake we as parents make is inconsistency. We are tired and don't feel we have the energy to fight it so it's easier to give in. But trust me, now is the time to set the rules.

This is totally normal and, quite honestly if he hadn't started throwing tantrums then you should have been worried. This is totally developmentally appropriate!

When the tantrums come, ignore them. He wants the pen or scissors just say "You cannot play with the pen, please find something else to play with" and then hand him his train, stuffed animal, book, whatever.

That's it. Nothing else.

No justifying, no explaining, no screaming at him, no charged up emotions, nothing. He doesn't understand that a sharp pair of scissors can cut or hurt him. What he does understand is that "mommy makes a super huge deal over these scissors so they certainly be a really fun adult thing to play with and wow, I want to be a big boy too!".

Let him fall to the floor and throw his tantrum and pay no attention to it. Without an 'audience' his 'act of drama' because useless. Will he stop after the first time you ignore him? Oh heavens no, but the better job you do of ignoring it and being unemotional about it, the quicker this behavior will diminish.

This sounds very typical! You described the times you see him having a harder time like when his ears hurt or he his getting teeth. Hungry and sleepy are also really big factors in this. My suggestion is use distraction. If he can't have something try to give him another option. Remove the desired thing from sight and redirect. (I am sure you are doing this.) And sometimes they just need to get upset and if you walk away (I know sounds bad). If you make sure they are safe. Sometimes I put my daughter in her crib and tell her "her body is out of control and this is a safe place to calm down" for a VERY SHORT time and then return happy as if nothing has happened and help them calm down that helps everyone. This is NOT punishment and I am not angry when I do this and when I return I act as if I have completely forgotten the reason for the tears. You get to take a breath and they get back to your child fresh to help them "deal" with the disappointment.
I also mirror a lot. Your child is young, but if you start young you get practice and they have the opportunity to learn about expressing themselves with words.
"I know you really want the..." "Mommy is here to keep you safe and they are not a safe thing to play with, but you can have ....!!" "I hear how upset you are." "How can I help you feel better." The last thing will be something he can't express so try to give options. "How can I help you feel better...would you like to read a story, have a snack, mommy to give you a hug...?" Whatever things the child find comforting. This will help him later find things to comfort and to communicate them.
I know that there are those that feel that you can over talk to your kids, but you can never be too kind and loving to a child and teaching them to express themselves in a positive way now is a great act of love and kindness.
Also, if you are having this dialog with yourself to your child in public during an outburst and you are calming talking to them, comforting them about the reason they are crying, you would be amazed at how understanding others are around you. It makes sense to them why your child is crying and good for you for doing what is best and not giving in because of the tears...that is the HARDEST thing for me in public not giving in to the toy or candy or whatever because it is not dangerous or anything. Just saying. "I hear that you really want this and can't have it right now...and you really want it. When we get home why don't we play with this or you have this to eat in the car/at home...."

And if you use this, when the child is older (my son is 3 yrs) you will see them using this with others. It really does teach empathy! "Mommy, that little boy is having a hard time." To the little boy, "I am sorry you are upset. How can I help you feel better? Would you like some of my snack?" It is the CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD!! Also, after the moments of being "out of control" my son is able to talk about his feelings. "I was really sad about..." "I was crying because of...."
I am hoping this will help him be a better communicator of his feelings in future relationships. (Minus the tantrum let's hope!) GOOD LUCK!! You sound like an amazing mom.

Welcome to the terrible twos...they start around 15-18 months. I was very upset when my oldest hit that. My sweet lovable baby all of sudden throwing temper tantrums out of the blue! The good thing about the terrible twos is that at least now you can try re-directing them to something else. You want the scissors? Oh-hey look at the squirrel outside! And now let's play blocks!

That tactic doesn't work anymore when they hit 3. That's why 3s are way worse!

Sounds more like an early case of "terriable twos". Don't give in to him or look for excuses for him. He'll learn early in life how to read your signals. Don't give him a reason to become a spoiled brat instead of the angel you've had.

A resounding YES! I am SAHM of 2 1/2 y.o. boy that went through similar stages. I read a few behavioral books to sum up, they said that these little humans are starting to express their emotions and feelings, well because they can. What they don't know is how to process and react to all these "feelings" aggression, possession "mine" and so on. I have found that I have to pay attention at the moment the occurence is happening. So if my son is doing something that could hurt him. I stop, say "danger" give momma whatever the item may be and instead of a time out in a chair in his room, I have him sit "criss cross applesauce" or indian style and explain what the real matter is, at that moment. He understands at that point the behavior is not acceptable and will also start with some waterworks, but I give him a minute to calm down and I talk to him. It seems to work for me. I have also implemented the art of "compromise" for example the picky eater, eat two bites of chicken and then you can have a sip of your milk. So we count the bites and share the milk with a "cheers". I am sure your son will start to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but rest assured your little guy is turning into a little boy! It was sad for me too! Your job as a parent just got a little more involved that's all!

Personally I never tolerated tantrums. When my girls started to throw one, they were immediately told no and instructed that we don't scream to get things. They would either stop or they would be put in their crib. I would then tell them that mommy will come back and get them when they stop screaming. When they stopped (even if it took an hour) I would go back and we would talk. I don't know how much they understood at that age, but it eventually sunk in and they learned quickly to talk and "use their words" as we called it. Even now when my six year old wants to stomp her feet or sit on the floor and pout over something, I tell her that is not how a big girl behaves and she will have to go to her room if she's going to throw a tantrum like a baby. She typically straightens up in seconds and then talks to me about whatever it is she's upset about. She's learning that we don't always get our way and we don't pout over it.

Nothing worse than a big kid throwing tantrum...I've seen teenagers stomping their feet and slamming doors and I was taught that is not acceptable. Everyone has to be taught to handle stress, upsetting situations,and disappointment with grace and dignity.

At least that's my take on it. If you don't tell him it's wrong and then put in place consequences, then he may never learn the lesson...then we have grown man cursing and giving the finger to everyone on the road that doesn't drive the way HE thinks they should. Yes, adults throw tantrums as well...and I think it's because no one ever taught them it isn't right.

This is totally normal. Just think of it as the terrible twos beginning early. My husband & I always joke that our daughter "turned" on us at 15 months! (She was always so agreeable before that.) Good luck!

This was about the age my son had started the TERRIBLE TWOS! Unfortunately, they start before the are 2!

Hi S.,

I just wanted you to know that I'm having a similar situation with my son - who just turned one. He's always been very sweet, and still is, but he know throws a pretty big fit when he can't have something he wants. If he's not tired or hungry, we can usually distract him by ignoring the behavior directly, but playing with his toys and being really interested in them.

I've had several people tell me (my mom included) that this is normal - they want to communicate now that they can move around a lot (walking), and it can be frustrating that they can't use words clearly yet to get us to understand exactly what they want.