I am 12 weeks pregnant, and I have, like most women, been needing extra sleep during this early time. Mostly, I am sleeping around 9 hours at night, and then still needing a nap sometime during the day. This is not a problem for me, because I know that it's normal, especially in the first trimester, but my boyfriend constantly complains about it. He talks about how he was "bored out of his mind" this last weekend because I couldn't stay awake...how do I get him to understand that this is normal, and to be expected and that it will more than likely pass. I need him to be understanding of my symptoms, not make me feel bad about them.
Would he read a book? There are great books out there some are especially geared towards men. Maybe pick one up for you and then one for him so he doesn't feel like you are forcing it on him. Maybe take a trip to the bookstore together so he can browse through them himself.
It sounds to me like hes alittle selfish. This a time where you and him should both be focused on the little one. Eveything you do effects your baby. Your body is working hard right now and as a result needs extra rest. When the baby comes hes definatly not gonna get all of your attention so he needs to get used to it.
Explain to him that when you are sleeping in the first trimester that only means that the baby is growing and that your body is getting exhausted from all of the hard work of moving your body parts around so that his baby can have room to grow, because that is what is going on truthfully. It should pass as usual, but as you get into your last trimester, and closer to delivering, it might return because you body is going through some more major changes to get you ready to give birth. Good luck!!!
My first response is, "how selfish he is", but then I calmed down...lol. You need to make him as involved as possible. He needs to go to the doctor with you. Hear, see, and feel the baby. He needs to read about the process. Surely you have a great book about being a parent. Maybe he feels left out. Your time and attention is spent somewhere else. Maybe once he gets a better understanding of what's going on then he will lighten up. Afterall....he was half responsible for making this baby. Im hoping that he isnt the clingy type that will be jealous when baby gets here. Some couples counseling may be in order. Take care of you. You are beautiful and wonderful! You're having a baby! Good luck
My short answer is he'll get over it. He will NEVER understand what you are going through and the things you are feeling so there is no point in trying to make him understand. My husband has a hard time with it himself. He is learning though. I happen to be very lucky and have a man who knows when it is time to back off and let me do what I have to do though :) LOL
At 12 weeks you are almost over that hump anyway. I am 17 weeks and I think I've had about 2 weeks of energy so far so you are getting close. You have a 5yr old so you already know how the basics go (although I am learning the 2nd is NOTHING like my first but the basics are the same).
Tell him to "grow up" - you're growing a whole new person inside you - you're entitled to be tired. Perhaps during the time he is "bored out of his mind" he could read a book. I suggest he start with 'What to Expect when your are Expecting'. A great book for the first time parent. It was my baby bible.
Many congrats on the pregnancy.
girl i went throught the exact same thing.. i dont think a man will ever actually "get it" althought i think some may be a little more compassionate than others and some of us wonderful women don't always have those kind!! ha.. i do agree with the girlfriend's guide to pregnancy.. it is a really cute book and it's from a "real" perspective.. another great book is what to expect while expecting and i think they have an edition for expecting fathers as well.. you can usually get it at babies r us for sure.. that was my best friend and it really helped explain basically every month and i would actually use it to show my boyfriend exactly what to expect.. ha especially when i started forgetting everything and he really would ask why the laundry was not done!! there are so many changes your body is going through that it is really a miracle being pregnant all the way up to childbirth.. i know every expecting mother is different and most fatigue does usually slack up in the second trimester, but your body is doing so much overtime work that it really is always there. i used to fall asleep on the toilet at work with my hand rested on the paper dispenser just to get a 10 minute nap in. does he go to your doc visits with you? i think that would be a good idea and let him actually understand what is taking place in your body. my boyfriend is a very hard worker so it was always hard for him to understand why i was so tired and it only got worse after delivery because those first couple months took everything i had to get out of bed.. i usually tried to squeeze in naps anytime i could during my first trimester. maybe if you had some help with your other little one a couple days a week, you could rest after work or go to bed little earlier.. i hope everyone's advice helps because i know it is hard emotionally as well trying to basically cater to yourself, your son, and your boyfriend. that's a lot on one woman even though we are superheroes in some sense!! i wish you the best and hope things get better for your entire pregnancy because you need love and support and encouragement everyday..
does he like to take naps? when i was pregnant i was tired and sleeping all the time, my husband would take naps with me to spend time with me. he felt that if we couldnt really go out and do things together, at least we could rest together bc he knew that our napping days would soon be over. you could also try planning a guys weekend for him and his friends... fishing, camping, hunting, etc. about getting him to understand, u could pick up some pamphlets from the doctors office and have him read them (while ur taking a nap lol) to help him. also, is this his first child? if it is, everything is new to him and you may just need to sit down with him for a question and answer type of thing. it could be that he has questions but is afraid to ask so therefore he doesnt understand completely. just a few ideas. i hope everything turns out for the best! good luck and congratulations!
Don't let him make you feel bad. Maybe on the weekends that he is off rent a movie that he likes, lay on the sofa with him, and when you doze off it won't be so bad. Men won't never understand (most men anyway) what it is like to be pregant. I have 3 boys and trust me on this, he will get over it. As you know with a son of your own the worst is yet to come, bathroom breaks in the middle of the night, not finding that right way to sleep, and once the baby is here those every 2 to 3 hour feedings. Don't let it bother you he will soon see first hand what it is to be sleepy in the middle of the day. lol I hope this helps in any way.
Some men never mature. I never had that problem, but then my MIL tells her stories about her childbirthing her two sons and as a contrast, I have babies very easy so my hubby doesn't complain.
Your BF needs to grow up tho. If he is that selfish now because you cannot entertain him, what will he do if you are up all night with a baby and not up to entertaining him?
This is not the most classy statement that I have made......but I would tell him to SUCK IT!
What a "litte boy".
there is a book called the girlfriends guide to pregnancy that my husband got around to reading after we had our daughter. it is in easy to read guy lingo even if it is ment for the moms. it was a great help even after. tell him he should read up on pregnancy or to put it politely, shut the blank up. you can choose which ever expletive works for you. good luck.
You received a lot of great suggestions...I have to say it though...Unless he is also 5, he should be old enough to entertain himself. If you have the time and energy to plan activities for your 5 year old and your bf, then God bless, but frankly I would tell him to grow up.
(On a side note, it doesn't sound to me as though you're unreasonably tired, but if you feel like your exhaustion continues to be excessive, you might check with your ob about testing your iron...many pregnant women become anemic during pregnancy which can exacerbate the normal levels of exhaustion.)
