11Mo and Not Sleeping

This happened to our daughter. I figure it was because she was in our bedroom in a crib and once we moved her into her own room she started sleeping until 7:00 or 8:00am. Could you try putting your son down earlier at night? Maybe he's just an early riser. Or putting off his morning naps so that he is tired in the morning and may start sleeping longer. It's hard to say not to cuddle with him when he wakes up at 6am. When my daughter used to get up at this time my husband would cuddle with her in our bed and she'd go right back to sleep. This worked well for them because it ensured everybody got enough sleep :). Once she started sleeping in her own room this stopped and she had no problem with it.

Good luck!

Ok this will sound so bad but... When my daughter would do this my fiance would get up with her in the morning and put a video on like the little mermaid or a baby eisenstein. It would give me another hour to sleep, it really helped. I know that months is to young for TV, but it was so worth it. She also had one of the saucer toys so he would put her in there and give her some fish crackers or cheerios to go with her show. I had a monitor so I could here if something happened. May be something to consider.

I just wanted to say i'm going to the same things exept my son is 18 months and still wakes up 2 times in the night and then up at 4 or 5 and not crying or anything just to play drives me crazy but then i take a deep breath and think when they are older we wish they were babies again and just cuddle with him and then he eventll falls asleep in our bed but he's asleep, so just hang in there we'll be there someday where all we can do is sleep ;) i just wanted to say stay strong and your not alone

The best advice I've gotten and it's one of the hardest things to do as a mom! You need to let him scream & cry for at least 10 minutes. It is the strangest thing I've ever seen, but you could time it (almost everytime) at 11-12 minutes they are out cold or just too tired to make any more noise. It might take longer because he is older.

The other best advice I received and it worked for both of mine is when they are newborn (this is for future use if you have any more children) and wake up during the night. The routine needs to be change their diaper (if needed), do not turn on any lights (so I had the hall light on as a night light), feed them, and put them back in bed. The key is you do not talk to them or sing to them. Simply change diaper, feed, put back in bed. Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit, if you start to talk and sing to them they quickly figure out that they have mom's undivided attention and will continue to wake up to have you all to themselves. It was the HARDEST thing I had to do especially with my first child!!! But, no lie both my kids were sleeping thru the night by 2 months old and continue to do at 2 & 4 yrs old.

Good luck to you!!! Maybe someone else has a better technique!

HI F.,
I have a 16 month old son and I know how important sleep is to you! I would recommend putiing him to bed an hour earlier, it sounds weird but it may lead to a later wake up time in the morning. It sounds like he's used to you coming in in the middle of the night to hold him so he keeps doing it because he likes it. It may be hard to break that habit, but the sooner you start, the quicker it will happen.
Try going in for a few nights and saying I love you sweetie but it's time to sleep and lay him down. He'll get right back up again and cry but don't pick him up. Then try not going in at all the following nights, he might cry for a long time but you know that he's fine and he needs to know that he can sleep through the night w/out you coming in. It will be like torture for you to listen to him crying but I'll bet it takes less than a week if you stick to it.
When we stopped the middle of the night feeding w/ our son at 4-1/2 mos. it took 3 nights of crying and he's been a super sleeper ever since. Now he sleeps 12-13 hrs. without waking up. We put him down at 6:15 pm and he usually sleeps till 7am.
best of luck!

8 pm to 6 am is 10 hours. That is not an unreasonable amount to sleep. In fact, I expect almost everyone would call that "sleeping through the night". My daughter never slept more than 8 hours at night (until she became a teenager), my son sleeps 9 to 10 hours (he's 7) but has never slept more than that. My cousin has twins who have always slept 12 hours. Each individual needs a different amount of sleep.

Perhaps you need to go to bed at a reasonable hour so that 6 am is not too early for you to wake up. Or, if that doesn't work, put him down at 9 and see if he will sleep until 7, if that is better for you.

If that doesn't work, see if there is something in his environment that is waking him up consistently. Does the paper boy come at that time? Are there dogs barking in the neighborhood at 6 am? Why is he waking up during the night? Does he have to go potty? Is he too hot or cold? Is there a change in background noise in the house (tv going off, or it getting too quiet in general?).

Both of my kids have needed/wanted snuggles first thing in the morning and we have adjusted our schedule to provide this for them. What better way to start the day than with snuggles and "I love you" and "I'm so glad you are a part of my family" ?

F.,

It's really nice your son has been on a schedule with his sleeping because many parents have trouble with finding a routine that their child sticks to, Great going! I suggest a book I found helpful just to kind of give me an idea about children and their sleeping patterns and helpful ideas about sleeping for your child and YOU. It's called, "Sleeping through the night". LOL

Happy Dreams,
G.

You have probably already heard this before, but I just thought I'd add my two cents in case it is of any help. I have an 18 month old and I too was spoiled by him sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, only to find that it was temporary. Then we moved when he was 4 months old and that's when he stopped napping AND sleeping through the night. I think they can sense when there are changes and tension and it affects them similarly to how it affects us.

What I found to be the best solution was letting my son cry it out. It was very difficult at first, but it got better and he turned into the best little napper there ever was and has slept consistently through the night (11 hours!) since 11 months. I would make sure he was well fed and had a clean diaper before bed, would offer him a bottle, which he rarely passed up, then followed a routine of teeth-brushing, bed time story, lights out, night light on, music box on, kiss goodnight, and then I'd leave the room. We still follow the same routine 7 months later and now he doesn't even bat an eyelash at bedtime.

My son is a strong-willed boy and it took a while to get to this point but it was worth it, he knows how to soothe himself back to sleep. If/when he wakes in the night (he used to wake much more than he does now) I knew he wasn't hungry because he had been well-fed before bed and then had a bottle, so I would let him cry until he fell back asleep. Once he realized that his crying wasn't going to work he would go back to sleep and eventually if he woke in the night he would just talk to himself or kick the button on his music box to turn it on (its one that attaches to the crib) and would fall back asleep without making a peep.

Also, I found that making his bed time a bit earlier actually helped! I know it sounds strange and it may not work for you, but he actually slept better and longer the earlier we put him to bed. We started small, moving from 8:30 to 8:00, then 7:30, then 7:00 which was a great bed time for him. (Now he goes down at 7:30 since he doesn't need quite as much sleep as before.) Eventually you will get used to his routine too and will know if he's waking in the night because he just wants to play or be held or if he really needs something. My son rarely cries in the night now, maybe once a week, and its only when he has a poopy diaper. So I will change him, follow a shortened version of his bedtime routine, night light on, music on, goodnight kiss, then I leave. It seems to work really well for us, but it did take some work. I think anyone can do it, you just have to have patience and perseverance. Take heart, sleep is near. Good luck!

My boy did the same thing until 9 1/2 months when I let him cry it out at night. It was tough and he cried for 30 min to an hour the first night. But after months of waking up at night, it only took 3 nights for him to start sleeping through the night. I would wait until you get settled in at your new location. Good luck!

Hey F. (I love your name)-
I'm not an expert but I can tell you that my son would not sleep through the night until about 2 months ago (he's 16 months old) and it was due to my husband and I's lack of follow-through. We both knew I desperately needed a normal, full night sleep but whenever we would hear him cry...we'd run in there, comfort him, rearrange him, give him back the wooly or binky and then take our draggin selves back to bed. Well 2 months ago we "ferberized"....we let him cry himself back to sleep--they say you have to let your children learn how to self-soothe and I knew we weren't doing that. So we held on strong to that and after the first night-he cried for 42 minutes straight, fell asleep and hasn't woke up in the middle of the night since!!! 2 months ago and do I feel like a new woman. He's doing great so that's what worked for us--you might have a struggle internally to not run to the crib, but I wish we would've done this a long time ago! We both feel better in the morning so that's my advice..let him learn how to self-soothe and spend a night or two teaching this skill :) Best of luck, just wanted to share my story of what worked for us. Happy New Year!!

I think it sounds like all the stress you must be under is what's feeding his need to be held and comforted. I know that I am not allowed to have a single emotion to myself! Also, go out an immediately buy the book The Happiest Baby on the Block (I think that't the title...) I swear it is AMAZING!!!

And until he sleeps again, just keep telling yourself that you're bonding with him and that this too shall pass.

Good luck!

Is he waking up because he is hungry? Try feeding him a bowl of oatmeal before going to bed. And think about what you are doing when he wakes up... if it some type of reward you are giving him (nursing? bottle? bring him to bed with you?) then he will keep doing it. He will not starve to death if you deny him to eat if he wakes up. You may just have to get tough and refuse to give him whatever it is he wants. It may take about 3-4 nights of no sleep while you tough it out and he learns.. but the payoff will be eventually sleeping through the night.

so if all he wants is to be held.. then you may want to try this:

When he wakes up go in and rub his back and softly tell him you love him. Then leave the room and set the timer for five minutes. He may scream and cry for that whole five minutes.. but tough it out.. buy some earplugs for husband! close the door and leave the room and even put in earplugs for yourself it you have to. Then, if he has not cried himself to sleep (this won't hurt him!) and is still crying.. go back in and rub his back a little again but do not pick him up! Then leave and now set the timer for 10 minutes. He could cry and scream again the whole time. If he has not cried himself to sleep this time - go back in there again and do it all over again.. now set the timer for 15 minutes. If he is still crying, set the time for 20 minutes this time. All of this crying.. really he should tire himself out or get tired of waiting for you... and fall asleep. But if after the 20 minutes, he is still crying, pick him up - give him something to drink, hold him for about 5 minutes, then put him back to bed..and you may have to start all over again.. but this time not get up to the 20 minute session. yes.. you may not get much sleep.. and this may take about 3 days before he gets it. So maybe plan it on a weekend when you can sleep in - I would suggest taking turns doing this routine with your husband so you are not a zombie after 3 or 4 nights of this (if he doesn't get it after this.. maybe he needs to see a doctor) but you both have to do it the same way.. and it might be better for him to have just one parent do it so he doesn't get confused.

anyway... this method can really work if you stick to the plan and tough it out. The only kid of mine it did not work on was one who ended up having some health issues so he had a reason to cry and scream!

best wishes.

Hi - It might be that he is sensing the unstable stuff that is going on in your lives right now and is reacting to it. Maybe does not feel as secure right now so he is waking up and wanting you. If you go into him when he wakes up, maybe you are rewarding the behavior and so he keeps doing it. This maybe just a phase because of the turmoil of moving. I too have a 11 month old that no matter what time he goes to bed, will wake up early! Like 5:30, sometimes even earlier. I would suggest reading the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". That has helped me in the past. It may have some suggestions on how to get through this. Good luck to you!

Hi there F.,

I know that you already got many pieces of advice here. I don't want to overwhelm you. :)

When my daughter did this, I started feeding her something right before bed. We made it part of the routine. I was always sure to give her something very filling, like a banana or some oatmeal. She still got up every now and then through the night, but it did seem to help her sleep a little longer. We all know that even just a little bit longer helps Mama sleep better. ;)

Good luck to you!

C.
www.EnhanceYourWayOfLife.com

My son didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch until he was 11 months old, and didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months. Some kids are just like that. One thing we found helpful is that we stopped taking him out of his crib when he woke up at night. He cried and wanted to be held, but we just hugged him and comforted him without taking him out of his crib and told him that nighttime was for sleeping and asked him to lie back down and go to sleep. He fought it hard for a few nights, but it started taking less and less time for him to lie back down.

As for the early wakings, I don't think 6am is unreasonably early. Your son might be too young for this, but we bought a little light with a 15 watt bulb and put it on a timer in his room (this was when he was consistently waking up at 4:30). We told him we wouldn't come in until the light was on. The first night we set it for 4:45, and have gradually pushed it back to 6:30. It's worked great! Sometimes he still wakes up before 6:30, but he usually entertains himself until the light goes on, then it's, "Mommy! Daddy! Light on! Time to get up!"

My one year old wakes up 4-6 times each night. In the last year, I have had one night where I got to sleep five hours straight.

I asked the Dr about it at the one year check-up, he told me I'd been spoiled with my first - that many babies do not sleep through the night at one year. He said feed him more in the evening, give him a BIG bed-time snack and encourage him to eat. but it's not realistic to expect his sleeping patterns to change anytime soon.

Good luck - I know I need it!