11 Week Old Refusing Bottle -- Go Back to Work Next Week!

You might have your caregiver try offering the bottle in as close to a breastfeeding position as possible (the bottle tucked under his/her armpit, for example) and have one of your nightgowns or other garment you've worn close to your skin on their shoulder. OR some other babies want the bottle offered as DIFFERENTLY from breastfeeding as possible. Perhaps have the baby sitting in a bouncy chair or sitting on the caregiver's lap looking out from the caregiver. Sometimes it helps to have the caregiver standing up and walking around while offering the bottle. Of course, you may also experiment with different bottles and nipples. Perhaps dip the nipple in warm breastmilk before offering it to the baby. Around 3 months of age, sucking ceases to be a reflex and comes under the baby's voluntary control. It's HER decision now. Good luck!
K. R., IBCLC

Hi H..
first of all, I would completey ignore Natalie and her completely false and rude response. I went back to work when my son was almost 5 months and he was ebf. I still nurse and pump and he is 10 months old. My son does very well with the playtex drop ins with the slow flow nipple. Good luck. You are a wonderful mom and your daughter is very lucky to have you.

This same thing happened with my twins. They, too, were exclusively breastfed, and I went back to work when they were eight weeks old. There was a day when they went six hours without eating until I could come home to feed them! What my husband finally had to do was "force" it. He wouldn't give up, even when one of my sons was crying. After a few minutes he took the bottle. This happened for about a week after I went to work, and then it was smooth sailing. I have to say, it broke my heart, but know that your child will not starve. And, trying different bottles will not make a difference, either. It's not the type of bottle that matters. She will eat eventually!

Good luck, and congratulations on your new baby!

Good luck to you on this one! My now 10 year old went from breast to cup. He never would take a bottle. I went back to work when he was 4 months old. I had to nurse him before we left the house, when we got to the sitter, come back on my lunch break, when I picked him up from the sitter and then had to go directly home. He had just started 1st stage foods by then so that would hold him over in between. At about 8-9 months he would drink water and juice from a sippy but never milk until we were off the breast completely.

Wow, along with Stacy, I CAN'T BELIEVE Natalie's response. What a horrible thing to say to a mother who obviously loves and cares for her baby or wouldn't take the time to not only breastfeed (which contrary to what most of these people will tell you, is not always easy) but to figure out a way to solve this problem in a way that's least stressful to everyone involved. The thing about the brain damage is ridiculous, and if you brought it to a doctor they would probably be shocked.

Here's some info that I hope will help. My first was breastfed with the occasional bottle of expressed milk and at a couple months old she just decided to stop taking the bottle. No matter what I did I couldn't get her to take it. I took her to the doctor, took her to a GI doc to see if she had reflux, did everything I could to get her to take it. I was very lucky in that I didn't have to go back to work (a luxury not everyone has, Natalie) but my daughter was a preemie and wasn't growing enough so we needed to use bottles to keep track of how much she was drinking.

After exhausting all medical possibilities, our doctor said that I needed to leave her with my husband and leave the house. Not just for an hour, but for as long as it took for her to take the bottle. This broke my heart, I was terrified she would be upset and starving, but with me gone, it only took a few hours and she drank and my husband said it was not traumatic for her.

I know you said you have left the house, but I wasn't sure for how long. I tried the being gone just long enough for her to drink, but the turning point was when I really left for the afternoon. It sounds awful but just as someone said earlier, they won't starve. There's more to being a great mom than just what or how you feed them and don't let anyone guilt you!

You're doing a great job, good luck!!

Does she use a pacifier? Maybe you can try to find a bottle with a nipple shaped like the pacifier. Our daughter used the MAM pacifiers and we had trouble getting her to take a bottle too. We tried the MAM bottles and she took them pretty well. At first she would only take breast milk, but eventually she'd take the formula too (but that may have been after I started making her cereal with formula). Also, if she's taking formula, I've heard Similac Organic is sweeter than most, which may not be ideal, but it's better than her not taking anything when she's away from you. Oh- and don't feel guilty about going back to work. If she's in good hands and well cared for while you're away from her, she'll be fine. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my daughter. We had been using the powder formula and when we finally tried the pre-mixed stuff she took it happily. I know it's a long shot but if you've been using the powder, maybe give the other stuff a try.
That being said, I have to respond to what Natalie B. said in answer to your question. I am appalled that someone would post such a judgemental response that had nothing to do with your question. We all do what is best for our children and for some moms, going back to work IS whats best. I stay at home with my kids because that works for me and our family but every family is DIFFERENT.
Congratulations to you on the new addition to the family and i hope everything works out with the bottle. (It will one way or another!) I know how stressful that is!! Take care!

Not sure if this would help, but I have read A few things that might help. Try giving the bottle to your baby when she is not starving and bound to get more frustrated. Give her the bottle at the end of a feeding to try and get her used to the bottle

Also, are you using expressed breastmilk or formula? Some moms produce an enzyme called lipase, that can turn expressed milk sour. Below is somthing I copied from a parenting site:

Our baby was reluctant to take a bottle. When I tasted the milk I realized why. It tasted horrible! It was soapy, metallic, and rancid tasting- not merely sour. It turned out that I was producing too much of the enzyme lipase and the lipase was digesting the milk and turning it bad within a few hours of pumping even if it was refrigerated or frozen right away. If this turns out to be the case, you can deactivate the lipase by scalding the milk right after pumping- either by heating it in a saucepan until tiny bubbles form at the edge of the pan, or in an Avent bottle warmer on the high setting for about 20 minutes. For some reason the Avent model doesn't have an automatic shutoff mechanism and you can heat the milk to about 175 degrees. This is really handy if you need to pump at work or somewhere where you don't have access to a stove

Good luck. I went back to work when my first was 4 months old, and she did fine.

Have you tried any latex nipples with these bottles? Nowadays most of the bottles come with the sillicone nipples, but latex really stretches and moves more like a breast. We have always used Playtex natural latch latex. Also ask your husband to hold her so she is facing away from him (not constantly looking up at him and burning into her head that she's not getting fed the "right" way (in her mind at least). Make sure also that she is latching on like she does with a breast....don't just get it in her mouth, but rather make sure as much of the nipple goes in her mouth as possible and hold the bottle more sideways than up and down so that the milk doesn't flow as fast. Also make sure the nipples are slow flow only.

Also, I don't think the previous poster was rude, but also not helpful in any way. Sometimes you have no choice but to go back to work if your family needs the money. I know sometimes you only get like 8 weeks. It is our country that has it screwed up who only give Moms that short of a time off to be with their babies, if they want to keep their jobs, that is. I went back to work at 12 weeks with my 5 year old and he adjusted just fine. Don't worry about it. Motherhood is not valued in this society. I have often wished we lived in Canada where they have a one year maternity leave. Somebody has their head screwed on right over there.

i would suggest the aventi bottles. that's the only kind my daughter was able to get my grandson to drink out of when she went back to work. something else though it may take a while to get her to take one and if she is hungry she eventually will. good luck

had the same issue.... some kids will never like bottles. I was freaking out before I went back to work too. my son still (this is months later) does not easily take a bottle. we tried just about every brand you see on the shelf at target. Dr. Browns bottles gave us a glimmer of hope... he'll take them, but he still not like it. I recently stopped nursing (was pumping for some time) and he's realizing now that he's getting the breast less that he has to resort to bottles if he's gonna eat. don't worry, your baby is NOT going to starve herself. it may be a rough transition at first, but she'll get the hang of it. I would try all different bottles to give her the most comfortable one for her. my son is a snacker. he'll take just about 1-2 ounces at a time... never more (he's 7 months).... I've been trying to schedule him and not allow him to eat in between the three hour mark so that he's hungry by the time the third hour comes around... its proven to work somewhat (I'll get 3-4 oz at once), but for some kids they'll never be thrilled with bottles. consider sippy cups by 6 months or so and the good news is by that age you can introduce food -- yippe! good luck... hope this helps!