10 Yr Old Daughter - Attitude

Good Luck with this!! I'm going to be watching very closely to see what other mom's think! I have a 10 year old son doing the same thing. He has an attitude about everything, going to play ( if asked to play inside he wants to be out.. if outside he wants to be in) doesn't want to clean his room, complains about what is for supper, doesn't want to eat when its ready (even if complaining about being hungry 5 mins before)... you name it he is complaining and he is starting to be rude to his 2 younger brothers. He has had this attitude at his dad's for a while now and just started it at our house not too long ago. We have sat him down (all 4 of us.. me, dad and step parents) and talked to him about the way he is acting and he says nothing is wrong we are just trying to find something wrong so we have something to complain about. We have tried counseling for him and they found nothing wrong... she told us it could just be his age and the friends he hangs around with at school. Its scary to think if he is acting this way at 10 how is he going to be when is actually is a teen!! I know I didn't give any real advice here (sorry!!) but I just wanted to let you know your not alone with this. Good Luck!

I have the same problem with my 10yr Daughter. She throws fits like a two year old if she is asked to do something that she doesn't want to do. At times she does things without being asked so it drives me crazy. She woke the whole house up before 4am this morning by turning on every light and T.V. in the house then having a fit when I shut off the lights and told her to go back to bed. I hope this is just short lived and she gets over it quick. as well as your daughter. good luck. I know this is long just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this with the 10 year old I am also having the same problems.

T.

D.,
Others have touched on the divorce issue--I'm divorced too and have been in a relationship for 4 yrs now--my daughter is 9 and does the same thing--gladly cleans and helps at dad's but not at home. I did the same (my parents weren't divorced but fought alot)with my mom--fought her on any and everything. I think it's got something to do w/hormones and just trying to push to see how far you'll let them go.
Of course reassure her that you love her unconditionally, but that you have things you expect her to do and they're not optional. If the attitude keeps up, take away priveleges or her favorite things and see if she doesn't shape up - mine sure did!
Best of luck!

I think it's a girl thing and preteen thing. My five year old daughter already has a attitude with me. I'll ask her to do something and she'll snap back with her head turned "Why?" That's when I put my foot down and remind her who's the mom. Having the seperated parents could be a slight problem but I really think it's age and gender thing. The minute I found out I was having a girl in my ultra sound I was like no no girls are horrible teenagers. I'm hoping mine won't be but I know how I was.

Dear D.,
I would rather raise ten boys than one girl, especially if she is anything like my own daughter! About age 10, my daughter turned into an alien from another planet, OVERNIGHT! My daughter is almost 16 now but, from ages 10-14, WHOA! WATCH OUT! Personally, I think its puberty. My daughter didnt begin her cycle until almost age 13 but I totally believe that at early as age 10, it is hormones and puberty. Good Luck...and yes, she will again be your lovely daughter. Eventually.
C. M.

Honestly, welcome to puberty. I was horrible to my mother from 10 to 15 as were both of my sisters. Its a girl thing. Try to roll with the punches and make sure she understands that just because the hormones are raging and life feels so out of control you will still be right there waiting for her when she needs you. Try to talk to her as her mom but also as her friend. Tell her that while you are her mother and expect things to be done without the attitude, you want to be a friend she can confide in as well. The minute my mom got that point across I realized she wasn't just there to make my life miserable. Good luck, its gonna be a rocky road for a little while but when all is said and done she will grow up and realize that these next few years were not only tough on her.

D.,
My parents divorced when I was 12 and I remember being very difficult for my mother. Especially when it came to her going out and having boyfriends. Please remember that a divorce is terribly difficult for a child even if it was truly the best thing for the parents & even if the child is old enough to understand that it's best-it's still VERY difficult. You are probably already doing this, but remember to make the time to spend with each of your children and tell them often how much you love and care about thim. This is most likely a time/phase in your daughters life that will pass too, but she's got a lot going on right now, with her parents divorce, her mother "replacing" her dad with a boyfriend, puberty/hormones, peer pressure, etc... This is a very difficult time for her-when she's not a pleasure to be around, remember how hard all of these changes must be for her & perhaps just give her a hug and tell her you love her instead of getting upset/mad/frustrated.

I sincerely wish you the best in this.
A.