The Second Birth

No, I’m not referring to having your second child . . . and I’m not pregnant. Haha. After you give birth to your first child and you come home and start figuring out your new life, that’s EXACTLY what it is. A new life. A new you. The old you is gone away. The new you is here, whether you like it or not.

Get used to sleeping less, putting someone else first, going without showers, spending day after day doing the same things. Changing diapers, feeding baby, putting baby to sleep, watching baby sleep, soothing baby, learning baby’s cries, figuring out how to make dinner AND deal with baby at the same time . . . oh AND remember that you are a wife too?

Life drastically slows down and I mean slooooooooows down. I was a social butterfly before I had my son. Always out doing this and that. Meeting this friend to go shopping, seeing that movie, going to a party, getting my nails done, and WHENEVER I felt like it. Well those days are gone. Kiss them goodbye. Not that you won’t ever do those things again. It will just look different. Very different.

I loved the first weeks home with my baby. The days were soooo long. That was a good thing and a bad thing. I loved every second with the new love of my life. But I didn’t mind it speeding up just a bit so my recovery could come to an end.

These latest days are a bit of a challenge for me. When do I get out by myself? What do I go do? How do I make time for myself when everyone wants and needs a piece of me? Everything else seems so important in the moment. I can take care of myself later I always think, but later never comes.

Having a baby changes things, actually changes everything. I don’t think I expected it to change ME so much though. Where on earth did I go? I don’t even recognize myself anymore. That’s because the old me is gone. Hmmm, that is a little sad. I liked who I was. I heard the other day that it is really like a grieving process that needs to go on. Allow yourself to grieve your old self but then let it go

Move on and embrace the new woman that you are today. You gave birth to your baby, but in a way, your baby gave birth to you. Emotions that you’ve never felt before. Different priorities. A new perspective.

As you live each day, you discover more about your new self. I love some parts of it, and others are harder to accept. I’m working on putting myself first (no, that’s not selfish) and taking care of me. I’ll be filled up and have more to give to everyone else. It’s not a fixed pie. I can take care of myself and also give to my husband and son.

As I’ve struggled with realizing this new identity, I decided to reach out a bit. I emailed some friends and asked for encouragement. I got an OVERWHELMING loving response. I wasn’t alone in my search for my place. Thank you GLMS!!!

I encourage you to do the same. You are not alone. Reach out and ask for help. Talk to someone. If you don’t have anyone to reach out to, you can email me. (rebecca@momsalive.com)

This new life is an adventure with ups, downs, challenges, and lots of wonderful moments. We work so hard with often no encouragement, no acknowledgment, no compensation, no recognition. But around the world there are millions of other women in your same shoes. Secretly this empowers and inspires me. Hopefully it will for you too.

Rebecca is a stay-at-home mom to a wonderful 2 year old boy. After she struggled getting through the first year of having a newborn, she decided to started Moms Alive to help other new moms get through those same struggles.