Mamapedia City Voices highlights the inside scoop on your city by selected writers, from up-and-coming mom bloggers to well-known mom experts.
Mother's Day Reflection
Here is a beautiful piece written by Sarah C., a member of the Mamapedia community. We think her story will touch your heart, and make you look at Mother’s Day from a whole new perspective.
Mother’s Day! That magical Sunday where we’re waited on hand and foot, starting with breakfast in bed. We’re showered with flowers, jewelry and other treasures — a haul of goodies worthy of Santa! Yeah, it doesn’t happen that way for me either!
Outside of the advertising world, I’m pretty sure Mother’s Day only plays out that way for a few moms who have either a very attentive husband/significant other or very appreciative adult children. The rest of us struggle. When I think of the moms who spend their Mother’s Day decorating a beloved child’s headstone, or in the hospital praying that their child will still be here next Mother’s Day, or the women struggling with infertility and miscarriage who would give anything just to be a mom, my heart breaks and I feel guilty complaining at all.
I think if we would all just shift our focus a little bit, Mother’s Day could be so much better for all of us! It might seem minor, but what annoys me the most is being asked over and over, “What did you GET for Mother’s Day?” I don’t think a single person last year asked me what I DID, just what I got.
I’m a single mom. Isaac turned four in January. He doesn’t drive and he doesn’t have money. So unless you loaded him (and your wallet) up and took him to WalMart to buy mommy something, mommy gets jack squat!
If you ask me what I GOT in a weak moment, I feel cheated, resentful, hurt and angry. If instead you ask me what I DID, I can tell you about a lazy Sunday morning hanging out with my little man, followed by a trip to the park. If you ask me who I spent Mother’s Day with, I can tell you all about my little man, or the big family dinner with my dad and stepmom, step-grandma, my siblings and stepsister, and all the kids. I can tell you how much I ADORE Carla (my stepmom) and Grandma Joan. I might tell you how much I miss my own mom sometimes.
If you ask me how I FEEL about Mother’s Day, I might tell you about shocking life is, and how motherhood has transformed it. How I appreciate having a day to reflect on motherhood, how it’s changed me, and how shocked I am to even be a mother.
I had resigned myself to being the neighborhood cat lady, to being the family’s crazy single childless aunt. That THIS Sarah has her Isaac is pretty miraculous! Back in the dark ages when I was married and trying desperately to have babies, nothing happened for 2 years and then I had 3 miscarriages in less than a year. When I remember the pain of those Mother’s Days, I ache for my younger self.
My marriage collapsed after the miscarriages, and I lived like a hermit for nine years. Then I had a naughty little fling with someone else’s boyfriend. I am convinced that it was no accident: Isaac was conceived on Mother’s Day — the very first Mother’s Day after MY mother died. I’m pretty sure Isaac’s grandma sent him straight from Heaven.
So ask me what I did for Mother’s Day, ask me who I spent it with, ask me how I feel about Mother’s Day, or say nothing at all, but PLEASE don’t ask me what I got!
Sarah C. is a proud mother, and member of the Mamapedia community. We thank her for sharing so openly with us today.