Would You Pull Your Kid Out of School for Vacation?

I didn't read the other responses, so I'm sorry if this is a repeat. I'm answering from the perspective of a teacher, and I think that it dovetails with your "so what happened."

Please please make sure that pulling your daughter out for the week doesn't make extra work for the teacher. Here are things that are "extra work:" asking for a packet of homework for before you leave so she can do it while you're gone, asking for one-on-one help to go over the things that she missed while away, asking for extensions on projects that are due well after (at least a week after) your return, asking for extra review packets for tests while away, etc etc. If you're making a family decision to pull your daughter out of school, it means that you are taking the responsibility to teach her the things that she misses.

This sounds obnoxious, but let me tell you, it's very hard work to educate 25 students when they're all there; if they all start coming and going it becomes nearly impossible.

So do have fun on your vacation, but please understand if your daughter's teacher isn't very supportive. You shouldn't expect her to be and you should make sure that your daughter's optional absence doesn't become extra work for her. Unplanned illness absences are tough enough.

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Everybody has got good points.

I've got three daughters and I myself am an educator (college level, but I've taught elementary, middle, and secondary at times). Family time IS educational, and so is vacation, depending on where you are going and what you are doing. There are many, many ways to learn besides books and classrooms, and what your kids learn from you is different than what they might learn from their school teacher.

That being said, by the third week of school, they will be doing more than reviewing, and it is not "only" third grade--it's a BIG step in educational levels, especially what is expected with regards to writing, math, and homework usually. It also can be a social issue, as someone pointed out, as all the kids are reconnecting and establishing their "pecking order" at the beginning of the school year.

So...my advice would be to talk with the teacher ahead of time. Let the teacher know where you are going, when, and what you may be able to do. Find out from the teacher what kinds of things will be going on in the classroom the week you are gone--especially if there is any possible tie-in with the main lesson, etc. See if you can get an agreement with the teacher about making up any work--either while you are on the trip or afterwards, or having your child write a short report about something relevant learned on the trip. Bring something of interest back to share with the class--which not only makes it educational for everyone, but might help with any social bumps.

At different times in your child's education, you will have these kinds of dilemmas. Every time, the important thing is to weigh the priorities at that time. For example, last winter, I took my daughter who was a junior in high school out of school for a week to travel to Louisiana for Mardi Gras. It wasn't just for the party--though we certainly did join in the festivities. It was because she had never met her father's side of the family, who all live there, and she is part Cajun. She plays saxophone in her school's jazz ensemble. She is into theater and fashion design. She loves food and cooking. Mardi Gras was the best time for her to meet her grandmother (83 years old), get to know what Cajun culture, music, food, and theatrics is all about. She takes AP classes and told those teachers and they were thrilled--told her to write a report on it when she came back. She told her band director and he was asking her to come back and play some stuff she learned on the streets there.

Later last spring, we had a dear friend's wedding to go to, right before Spring break, unfortunately not during. They could have planned better, since his goddaughter--my daughter--was scheduled to be their flower girl ballerina (she is on pointe at 10). But no way was she going to miss a trip to CA, where we took her through the Bay Area, down the Central Coast/Big Sur, and stayed with circus performers from Las Vegas (our friend and his entourage) on the beach. The older daughter? Couldn't come--too much time off school at that point with midterms, and participation in a musical.

My point is you need to decide, and there are always going to be shifting reasons to go or not go--but at 3rd grade, it's probably more educational to go somewhere for that one week.

Fiora

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I would go, hands down.

My bias, however is that I pulled kiddo out of PS in no small part so that we could travel when we WANTED to, and could (and daaaaaaang we save so much money traveling during the school year)... instead of being tied to school bells.

IMHO traveling is educational in and of itself, and not replicable inside of any school. And the family time is invaluable.

I often times put it in the "what really matters/ what's really important" frame of mind. Meaning in this case:

If I were to die next month (or my husband or child)... which would I regret? Would I regret missing a week of school or missing the vacation?

I've died twice however (brought back, obviously, or I couldn't very well be typing this), and a few times where I cut it very close... and I've lost many people that I have loved deeply. So I don't make my choices with death in mind out of fear... but out of "What is really more important to ME?"

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I would not allow my kids to miss school to go on vacation. It's like teaching them fun is more important than education.

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Your husband is incorrect in his attitude that they will only be reviewing and that it won't matter if she is there or not.

That said, you know how well your child does in school. Is she strong academically? Does she catch up easily and is she willing to do extra work from missing school? Will she be able to do a lot of work in the car while you drive to your destination? (Or in the airport/airplane?)

One thing you have to ask yourself is if this is REALLY a matter of when he can ONLY get off, or if he is letting everyone else at his work dictate his vacation schedule. Other people with children KNOW how important it is to take time off with the school schedule in mind. If you cave to him on this now, he may continue it as your child gets older, and there is a price to pay for it, especially in older years.

I'd make darn sure that I made it abundantly clear to him that you don't want
it to continue and that he can't just let others take over the vacation schedule.

Good luck,
D.

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We haven't so far. My Mom taught school, so we'd take our trips during the summer. We'll take off for spring break or for weekend trips, but we don't skip school. My son's a straight A student, and it's harder to miss time as you get into the higher grades. My husband and I only have limited time off from our work, too so we don't have all kinds of vacation time we have to burn. Schools out from mid June through after Labor Day. That's 11 or so weeks to get in a trip. I realize not everyone can follow the school schedule, but we manage it.

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I would never "plan" to take my kids out of school for a vacation but if circumstances made it so that it was just not possible to go when the kids were out of school then I would do it rather than skip the family time. You're right that he probably won't miss anything this early in the year, however you might want to check the school handbook to see how any grades received during that time will be handled. In our district children make up the work after they return but are only eligible to receive up to 50% of the points. Meaning if there is a test while they are gone they have to get them all right to earn a 50% on the test.

The other thing that I would consider before doing this is your son's attitude towards school. If he likes school and understands the importance of it (at least as much as a 3rd grader can) then fine, but if he is already negative towards school and doesn't get why it's important this might send the wrong message.

Good luck,
K.

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.... Teachers I have talked to, really, do not like when that happens. In 3rd grade... they have a lot they are learning and homework.
The child if leaving, will have to catch up and do homework packets, on vacation, too. That is what my daughter's Teachers do.

How long is the vacation???? That has an impact too.
And, if any grade level testing or key concepts are being taught at that time, your kid will be missing that. And when your kid returns, the Teacher can't just spend time on only him... to help him catch up with the other lessons/kids.

3rd grade is not only 'reviewing.' At least not in my daughter's school. My daughter is in 3rd grade now... and they are doing a TON more, than reviewing and comparatively to 2nd grade.

Even on vacation... you will need to do homework with him... the Teacher will typically make homework packets for the vacationing child... and you WILL be expected, as a Parent, to do it... with your child. If not... this will create an 'impression' about you, as the parent, and your child. I have seen this happen... when the parents/child did not do their study packets on vacation... it really, does not help. Your child.

all the best,
Susan

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Every year my parents woul dpull me out of school for a week and a half vacation (sometimes more). It was always in August (right when we started school) and it was the only time my dad had to take off. My mom got a lot of homework assignments ahead of time (which she made me do for the long car rides) and whatever the teacher couldn't give her I got caught up on when I came back.
I would definately go. Good Luck!

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I agree with you!

School was my top priority growing-up. I was an excellent student, but school was never compromised. My sister lets her below-average students miss school all the time for hunting expeditions and ski trips. I have a hard time with that.

The beginning of the school year is critical, and I'm really surprised your husband wouldn't recognize that school is your kid's job right now (socially and academically).

My husband and I took our first vacation in 6 years this summer. Schedules just didn't allow it. That's part of life, and I know we all need our detox time. I'm a work-a-holic, but I was also impacted by a company layoff and am making 80% of what my previous salary was, 60% of my previous income.

If he couldn't miss work because there were important things going on, why is it OK for your child to miss school which is equally as important?

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I guess I'm in the minority here. I have NEVER taken my kids out of school for a vacation. That's what summer, spring/fall/xmas break are for. You know the school schedule far enough in advance to be able to plan accordingly. My almost 11 yo has had perfect attendance every year except for the last 2 years where she missed one day each because she had the 24 hour flu. I'm lucky that my family is rarely sick and really we have not taken a "vacation" in the last few years because of the economy. However, we did go to CA for 3 days this summer with the kids and MIL.

I think it's a personal decision and if your hubby can't go any other time and its not a problem for you then go. If we were able to take some great vacation as a family and it was available only during the time the kids were in school, we'll we would miss it also. But that is because my kids don't miss school any other time either.

So just my opinion. Have fun on your vacation!!!

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If you are talking about a day, maybe two, it wouldn't be too bad. If you are talking about the whole school week, there is no way I would take my child out of school. If you didn't take it when school was out for the summer why not wait until a long weekend like Thanksgiving or if you want longer go at Christmas.

It is only 3rd grade but in today's world even kindergarten is much more rigourous than when we were in school. Kids can fall behind so easily. By taking them out for vacation or other fun things you are telling them that their education is not important.

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i think its fine. Growing up my family didnt take that many vacations, in fact we took only one that I remember, and I was taken out of school for three days for it (I was in 6th grade) and I didnt fall behind, but if your driving someplace far you could get their assiments so they will have something to do

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Absolutely go on vacation! Of course school is important but family time (and family values) will last him a lifetime. As an over-achiever in primary school, college and law school I have learned over the years that time with my family is worth more than any achievement I have ever earned and certainly more than any paycheck I have ever received. I have taken my girls out of school for vacations and will continue to do so - I had a frank conversation with her teacher last year who said just try to avoid the months of January through April, when most of the standardized/placement testing occurs.

Enjoy your time with your family - these moments are priceless and these memories will last forever!

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I am a single Mom, and I had a opportunity to take my daughter to Disney when she was in the third grade. Because this was something I could not afford to do on my own, I didn't want to turn it down, and wouldn't have even if the teachers had a problem with it. IMO school was every day, vacation was rare. However, she was excelling in all levels, and it was in January, not Sept. My advice would be, if this is something special that happens rarely, go for it. The kids will catch up.

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My mom always had the attitude that fun came first--I was a bit of a worry-wart as a child and hated to miss school--but we went on lots of little trips throughout my school career and I can assure you that academically I have done very, very well. I have so many happy memories from all our trips and still managed to be very successful--most of what we learn doesn't take place in a classroom (and I'm saying this as someone who is a college professor). So, get the work your son will miss and have him do it while you're on the road and take lots of pictures!

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I would wait, not so much because this is a vacation but because the first couple weeks of school are key for making new friends and getting back into the groove. Good luck.

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Yes. Sometimes the best teaching moments come from living life.

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We have taken our kids out of school for vacations. If you know in advance and you let the teacher know you can usually get the homework ahead of time. in 3rd grade its not really that big a deal. in older grades they know they will have homework to make up. my kids teachers when they were younger would always ask for written report about where we went and what we did. (always try to get at least one educational type thing into your trip lol) it never hurt any of them and they saw and did some really great things.

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We have pulled our older daughter out every year for vacation. We go during the week before and during Thanksgiving vacation. The school district allows for 10 days family vacation time/year, so that's why we go at that time...we get more days. The teachers are understanding and usually have all of the 'makeup' work together before we go so she can work on it while we're gone. Go, enjoy your vacation!

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Go, have fun! I have taken my kids out twice over the years, near the end of September to go to Disney. The first time, they were in Kindergarten, 4th and 5th grade. They missed a week, and it wasn't a big deal. The 2nd time, last Fall, they were in 5th, 8th and 9th. They missed 2 days. It was more difficult for the 9th grader, but still doable for a couple days.

Family time is important. Missing a week of 3rd grade will not hurt your child. Go, have fun, make family memories.

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YES! go for it! have fun! I was debating the same thing last april, even though my daughter was only in 3 day a week preschool, but that's when my vaca was (and not during spring break).
All of a sudden, i realized, why not?! It's only preschool! And I think even as the years go by, I will do the same thing. We had SO much fun, it was totally worth it! Maybe give the teacher a heads up, and see if you can get a copy of that week's homework, so they won't fall behind.
HAVE FUN!!!!!!

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Go for it! I would rather do it at the 3rd grade level then middle school or high school. The first 3-4 weeks do have a lot of review but they will be introduced new material as well. I would recommend that when you return you are diligent on completing the homework on time if not before it is due. BTW, the teacher probably won't do much to get her caught up, it will mostly be up to you. I have been a sub for over 4 years and this is typically how it is handled. I have rarely heard a teacher being frustrated unless the parents do not cooperate in getting them caught up.

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Oh my goodness, come on it's not like you are going away for months.....Go on vacation and enjoy your family time. Count how many hours a month your child spends in school and compare it to hours you spend togather as a family. You can always take some homework with you to work on . Have a great vacation(we just got back from our first one ever:))

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yep we took my kids out last year for a family trip to Disney World. The days we went were previously on the school calendar as being off days until they were moved the day before school started. We'd already been planning it for a year.
I'd go.

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I know you already answered your 'so what happened'. Since your daughter had been keeping up with her work over the summer and if you plan to make up anything she will be missing I say go for it. I think the first part of the year is better to miss then the middle and end. Go and have a great time. Just give the teacher plenty of time to get everything she will miss together for you.

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Yes, take her out! It's a week. Enjoy your family time. Education isn't merely found in a classroom. It is way more important to have that time together as a family than it is to spend that week in a classroom at the local school. Seriously.

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I say do it, he will catch up fine. Dawn B. needs to calm down here, like you mentioned your husbands work schedule has been very busy and this is the time slot that allows the family to go, it doesn't sound like he's demanding you to all go on vaca or it's his way or the highway. I think it's great he still wants to take his family on a vaca and so I say go for it.
We did it last year with my daughter when she was in second grade but we went on a holiday weekend so we took her out early on a Friday to get a head start on the road, she already had that Monday off and we came back on Tuesday so she only missed the one day but it was no big deal. This year we're having a baby in the middle of a school year and I know things are going to be crazy hectic for my husband who will have to take time off of work to care for the kids and house. We already plan on letting her take off a few days of school until things get a little more settled. I could care less what anyone thinks or says, it's our life and that's what's gonna work best for us.
You don't even have to tell the school you took him on a vaca, just go and don't worry. Have a GREAT time and enjoy some family time together, that's what is the MOST important! Your son's grades will not be affected by it, so don't let it stop you. Have fun!!

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I say go on the vacation!!! School is not as intense now as it will become down the road. Ask your child's teacher for a homework packet so he won't fall behind, and go on the vacation :)

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I have not read the other answers. If your child goes well in school, my answer is absolutely, positively, take him out. I did it almost every year when my kids were in elementary school and even middle school. However, on our vacations, we did lots of eductional things. I also checked with the teachers to see what they were doing in the classroom and made sure my kids were all up to date with homework, etc.

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I would do it, and have done it. I contacted the school and if your child is in good standing they will give independent studies. At that grade it will be review. My son gave a report of where is went and what he found educational to do. One week out of 12 years + of school will not be effect your child. I pull my children out of school every year for one week prior to winter break to drive down to Central America. It is a wonderful vacation and my kids have yet to fall behind or fail any classes. In fact one is in AP classes and the other is in honors classes. So Go for it. Have fun with your family, who knows when you may get the time again.

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I'd go. Here in NY 3rd Grade is a big testing year but truly are they going to be buckeling down in the 3rd week to start reviewing, I think not. I loved family vacations and there were a couple of years that we would miss the 1st week of school becasue we would be gone a month. My mom on her own would have us write a report on our travels and we had to have pictures and it always had to be something like 10 pages or so. I was never behind and remember I missed the 1st week of meeting my classmates and a new teacher but never felt I missed anything. Just get your 3rd graders homework ahead of time, tell the teach where you are going, maybe she'll ask your child to write a report on it, all will be ok.

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yes, and yes, and yes, and yes
granted my kids will start first grade now, but we are still planning to go to aruba after the school year starts. we're also taking kids to disney in october while school is in session. we do not go on vacations during spring break because we don't want to deal with crowds.
i did the same thing while in kindergarten. i'd give the teacher heads up. she was ok with it. we agreed for her to email me homework pages and books to read beforehand. she also let us have their homework books, so we did homework while on vacation. we were gone for 8 school days. my kids went back and the day they want back they had two tests and scored the highest. the teacher said it's because they're so smart, i am thinking it's also because they had a break :).
so my advice is GO GO GO and take me with you. :)

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I would do it. Simply take along the school books. He can do some school work for an hour or so a day and he probably won't be behind at all when he gets back. I took several vacations with my family during school and that's what the teachers did..when I got back I was actually ahead of my class.
If you are driving this vacation its something to do in the car. If you are flying he can get started on the plane...and then every day when you have a half hour..he can hit the books for a bit. Its not that big of a deal really and kids learn more on vacation than they do at school.

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I would ask the teacher(s) what they have scheduled that week and see if you can get assignments for them to do while out. That way they don't get behind. I would take the vacation!

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Yes GO!

Your kids will learn more being with you for a week on vacation then they will in school! That's what our teachers always said.

My parents would take us out of school often for family vacations or on Fridays for a long weekend out of town with the family. I was always on the A honor role and never had any trouble with teachers thinking I shouldn't go!

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It isn't the school work aspect so much as the social aspect. This is the time the kids start making bonds with other kids in the class. October might be a little better time to take them out of school. You can always do homework on the road, but the kids can only form the bonds while in class. It will be a bit like a new kid changing schools partway through the school year. There may be some upset when the kids get back to school, so be prepared to deal with that.

As a teacher, I often found that many of the kids that went on vacation at the beginning of the school year were the ones that couldn't afford to go. So, hope your child is all caught up and that you are diligent in keeping your child caught up.

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I think as long as your kids are not struggling in school and they are not missing more then 5 days then go for it. Maybe ask the new teacher first as to what they will be working on that week, and get her opinion. Take any work that will need to be completed, or try to cover beforehand what they will be missing.

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Will it be a week? Can he take his work with him? Is there part of the trip that will qualify as "educational"? That's what our district requires.
Personally, I'd do it. I tend to look at the big picture, my kid's a good student and I know it wouldn't set him back, so I would.

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When I did gymnastics, I missed several days for travel/vacation. I was in high school and I had to make up the time, but the teachers would always give me the material we would be covering and I would just turn my work in and make up any tests as needed when I got back. Usually it was one to two days at a time, but there was always one bigger trip that was usually close to a week. If you can do it without missing more school then you are comfortable with, I say pull him out for at least a couple days and enjoy yourselves. A week is probably fine too. I may be in the minority there, but also talk to the teacher and take the work with you that he will miss and he can always learn other things while on vacation.

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Yep! Without a doubt I would go! Family vacations at priceless!

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I think kids will benefit more from the travel and the experience of seeing and learning about new places. Talk with their teacher and see if they can do a scrap book to bring to school. I once received a suggestion from a family who home-schools that the kids be given projects like helping to plan the route on the map (if driving), picking a landmark to visit and being given an "allowance" to spend during the vacation - hence they are learning about geography, math, and history. Probably more so than they would in class!

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I would check w/the 3rd G teacher who will almost for sure give it a thumbs up and then definitely go and enjoy it for the sake of your family relationship! It will double as a way to show your husband you appreciate his hard work and that you put family first.

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I know you've already gotten a lot of replies but I had similar concerns last year when we took my 3rd grader and kindergartener out of school to go to DisneyWorld. I NEVER missed a day of school growing up unless I was sick...and then I had to be REALLY sick to stay home from school. My husband's family was different...he said his mom would take him or his sisters out of school for a "fun"' day here and there. I had a really hard time wrapping my head around this but when he explained they were doing well in school, he thought it was ok. (BTW, two of his sisters have PhDs and another her Masters degree...they did alright :-))

We start school in mid-August so but late September students are learning new concepts...but some schools do not start until after Labor Day so it may still be review time. The only thing I made sure of was that we did not schedule our vacation closer to the preparation for the big standardized tests that start in 3rd grade. We are planning another vacation around the same time for this year...once they start Jr. High and High School it will be a lot more difficult for them to miss school.

Have fun!

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You don't get to take a vacation very often...personally, I would do it. It's only a week out of school and is not going to hurt your child. One week does not teach them education is not important. In one week they will not get behind. You can talk to the teacher beforehand and get some school work to bring along.

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Yes...it's OK. My many sibblings and myself have taken our kids out of school almost every year.... However, only up to 5th grade as they start to get really serious about absents. We can't afford to vacation during school breaks as the cost for the vacation usually more then double in prices.... Just tell the school and the teacher usually give them some kind of homework to do....write a journal or bring a work package with them on vacation.

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I would pull my kids out for vacation and would enjoy SO MUCH!!!!
It is your life, your kids.....the time spent with family and our loved ones is precious. Your kids won't loose anything, and they will catch up and not, I don't agree that they will be behind. They will be able to catch up..
....Maui???? you won't regret it..It is a gorgeous place...start packing!
Enjoy your vacations!!!!

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I also think it matters how long the vacation is. I would pull them out, but maybe for a long weekend making sure they do something educational everyday. Good luck.

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I think it depends on how many days will be missed.

3rd grade is a big jump from 2nd grade and in the beginning they do a lot of assessment testing. It is not just "reviewing". There are also rules about how many unexcused days you can be out of school. Talk to the teachers.

If the teachers are on board, take any homework assignments you can, keep your student on track and have them do something educational while on vacation, (short report on something.)

My feelings are mixed and normally I would NOT take my daughter out of school. This year daughter is is 4 honors/AP 10th grade classes and we are faced with missing 3 days the week before Labor Day. Our school starts Aug 23. When I found out about this trip in the spring, I went to the principal and talked about it. She will be excused because it is classified as a college visit, however, the principal felt it was important for her to attend with us because my husband is going to a college alumni event and he is being recognized for his achievements while in college. The good part, is her teachers give out a six week plan of what will be covered and homework at the beginning of the year and she will be able to do most of her work while we are away.

Good luck.

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Enjoy your vacation!

The 3rd week of September is not a good time to be pulling kids out of class. 3rd grade isn't the same as it was when you and your husband were in elementary school. New concepts are already being introduced, assigning reading groups and doing some assessments as to math skills are happening and homework is being sent home already on a nightly basis. Putting your kids behind that early in the school year is putting them at a huge disadvantage. Not only that but it's extremely disrespectful to the teacher and the other kids in the classroom, because they will have to take the time to catch your child up, taking time out to explain again what is happening or what was learned or discussed while they were gone.

Work schedules are not conducive to family summertime vacations. For years we didn't have a 'summer' vacation as my husband and I couldn't get the same weeks off. Save the vacation time to be used at a day at a time to go on field trips with the class, to help in the classroom, to have available for those 'teacher inservice days' when you can have mini-vacations, to be able to attend those presentations at school. Those times are just as important and fun for you and your kids as a week long vacation.

How many days of school will they miss?