Worried About Son Not Speaking Yet

Hi S.,

Just wanted to throw another thought out there for you. BUT it is also based on whether or not other milestones are being met ok?
When my youngest was born, he scored a 10 on his apgar. But, as time went on, I started noticing things like not speaking during that "normal" age range. Not walking at the normal range etc etc. Not being able (as he got older) to write anything that was legible, and not being able to REMEMBER how to tie his shoes.He was still needing training wheels (big ones) when he was 7/8. Anyway, All of the teachers used to tell me not to worry that he would get things in his own time. But because he was not my first, I KNEW something was not right. By 3rd grade, the academic pressure built up to a level that my son was falling behind because he kept FORGETTING and handing in sloppy work. We had our son assessed and were told that our son is Dyspraxic, or has Dyspraxia.
Part of the assessment involves taking into consideration if the child spoke on time walked on time etc. testing their balance, and giving them memory tests.
Being Dyspraxic still makes life a little harder for him but at least we know what we are dealing with.
His balance improved to the point that we were able to remove his training wheels this past summer (he was 11) he requires speech therapy twice a week, uses a keyboard for extensive writing in school (because it hurts him to hold a pencil correctly)and being given extra time to complete assignments (because of his memory issues) Dyspraxics are highly intelligent but cannot retain what they are taught all of the time. It really is a double edged sword.
Dyspraxia is also not the first thing looked for since not many people are knowledgable about it, including some doctors. Just wanted to make sure that you were aware that it could be something other than autism.

Good luck to you!

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Hi S.,
We had a similar problem with my son. He was 19 months old and still wasn't forming 2 word sentences, and also had a very limited vocabulary. I got all freaked out when I saw on tv that was one of the early indicators of autism. Of course, you should always ask your pediatrician. But it was nothing to worry about for us. He is 2 1/2 now and he still doesn't speak as clearly as others his age, but I just think his language is developing more slowly than it did for my other kids. I think he will just not be very strong in language skills. But he is more advanced in some other areas, his large and fine motor skills have devoloped greatly. You are doing all the right things, just be patient, he'll come along in his own time. We moms tend to always compare our kids with other kids, but I've had to learn to let that go a little and let each of my kids develop in their own time into the person God made them to be. But do, just to be sure, check with your pediatrician and make sure that his hearing is OK, etc. Hope that helps!

B.

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Hello! As you know.... I will start off by saying every child is soooo different and all children talk and progress at their own pace... All I can tell you is from my own experience... it is not to scare you but just to inform you... i wish i had someone to tell me this at the time... my daughter is now 4 years old and DOES have Autism. She met every milestone on time and was a completely typical HAPPY little girl until it came tim to speak.. she never really started talking she ouwld say mamma and dada but that is it.. she never waived or did any other little gestures or communications that other children her age were doing... BUT THAT ALONE DOES NOT DIAGNOSE AUTISM... do you notice any other things your child is doing... does he have any repetitive behavoirs? does he line up his toys or play with them not in the way they were intended to be played with??? there are alot of other things to look for... WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS... if your child only has a speech delay i would definatley keep a close eye on it but i wouldnt be overly concerned with autism.... you can always take him to a ped. neurologist to ease your mind. good luck and let me know if i can asnwer any more questions...

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One of the big signs of autism is if a child isn't pointing at things by one year of age, so if your son points that is good. Also, autistic kids don't keep eye contact with other people. My nephew has autism. My own son was late talking, and at the time they didn't do any special testing until they were three years old and not talking much, at which time he was evaluated and then had 6 months of speech therapy when he was three which helped tremendously. Sometimes that is all one needs to do, but talking late can be an indication of other issues. It turned out my son has very mild Tourette's Syndrome, and while his tics are extremely minor, he had a vocal tic where he repeated some of the sounds in words. He had speech therapy in kindergarten too, and that vocal tic is gone. We found that learning disabilities went along with Tourette's, and he qualified for extra help at school. He is very smart though, and once he was able to overcome the learning disabilities he did very well, and tested into the gifted program and has been getting straight A's in school. I tell you this because he has been a success story when we had been very worried about him, and so if it turns out that your son talks late and there are some issues, I would encourage you to get help and know that he can do really well.

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I gained custody of my grandson when he was 18 months old and he didn't talk either, mainly mommom and dada was about all that he could say. I took him to a pediatrician and he referred him to a hearing specialist and they both said they couldn't see why he wasn't talking at the time. I had birth to three come in and work with him and we had a speech therapist come in also. By the time he was 3 though he just started talking and we can't get him to be quiet now, it's like he is making up for lost time. He is 7 now. The only suggestion I have is if you haven't taken him to a hearing specialist, you might consider it for he may have hearing problems, other than that, he'll start talking when he feels like it. Also, I read to him and worked on his ABC's and had blocks and would tell him what the letter was and sound and would get him to try to say what it was

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Don't worry too much about him not speaking yet. I have three boys (age 9, 5 and 3) and the 9 and 5 year old started to speak late but now their speech is appropriate for their age. My oldest was 2 and a half when he started to speak and my 5 year old was 4 years old but then he started speak fluently. Just keep reading to him and speak to him a lot and he will eventually start talking and will never stop again.

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My oldest boy, now twelve, didn't say his first sentence until shortly after he turned three. Until then, he would say mom, dad, and other words to get things he wanted, but that was pretty much it. I too worked with him continuously. Just like you, I was concerned there was something wrong.

As soon as he started school, I made sure to get him into the speech program. I couldn't believe how quickly he progressed! After only four months of speech, you couldn't even tell he'd had any problems. He hasn't needed speech therapy since. With him, it was simply delayed speech. He's a completely normal twelve year old boy.

Though your little boy's speech issue may simply be a matter of children doing things at different paces, as with my son, it never hurts to mention it to the pediatrician.

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S.,

other things to look at in context are: does he interact? does he point? and make himself understood using sign language and body language? does he understand and respond to what you are saying? does he react to noises?
If either one of these are not the case, you should definitely discuss it with the pediatrician and have further evaluation done.

But it may just be their personality, too. My two boys only had a VERY limited 'vocabulary' that mostly consisted of baby words like choo-choo and such, until 3 years and 2 3/4 years respectively. However, when they started speaking they started with a bang, with 4 and 5 word sentences.

The older one had some pronunciation problems of a few sounds, but with some practicing he outgrew that soon enough. We did not have speech therapy, simply because it was not that severe that we felt he needed it, and it was not suggested to us. It might have gone faster with professional help, but we managed on our own. We have always read a lot to them, every night for about 30 minutes, and often during the day at least that much. Both have grown to be avid readers, with a huge vocabulary, are very well able to express themselves verbally, and have been on the honor roll all their school carriers, and they're 8th and 11th grade now...
So starting to speak late certainly was no problem for them.

Back then I did discuss it with the pediatrician, and since they are able to do all these things I mentioned above, she recommended to just give it time.

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Suggest a book called "The Einstein Syndrome by Thomas Sowell. Here's one reviewers comment. " {It] is a true gem. In addition to the latest scientific findings about late-talking children, it is packed with deep compassion, uncommon wisdom and unusually helpful no-nonsense practical advice for parents of late-talking children. The Einstein Syndrome is that rare book that comes along every once in a while that speaks from both the heart and the mind and directly to parents of all children who are different."

More info can be found at http://www.tsowell.com./children.htm

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Hi S.,

Some children develop at a different rate. Most boys develop slower in the verbal area while they excel in the mobility area. Often times there are spurts at different points in there development and he could be talking up a storm in a few months. If you are concerned that there is a problem, there are places that can help you.

I have a son who is now 4.5yrs old that was not speaking at the age of 2. There is a program called the CDSA (Child Development al Service Agency) that can evaluated and offer suggestions as well as speech therapy for your son. We used this program for our son and they provided speech and play therapy for our son twice a week, in our home. After the child turns 3 if there is still a problem the public school system offers speech therapy for children 3 to 5 and then another in school program after that. If you are interested in more information or their number, please send me an e-mail at dlflowers32 at yahoo dot com. I would be happy to give you more detail as well as answer any questions you have.

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I was in your boat about 4 months ago. Our son hardly said a whole lot. Would babble to himself a little but that was about it. Now at 20 months we can't get him to be quiet. He talks to himself and talks to us like we should understand everything he says. We get a new word everyday. Yesterday it was broccoli. It is true that boys talk later than girls. Just keep talking to him and reading to him and he will start spitting out words that you never imagined he was paying attention to.

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It is crazy b/c with autism there is really no definate thing about development. For instance, my son hit every mile stone and even hit all language mile stones and now the doctors in my area seem to think that he is a very high functioning autistic child. It is so frightening. What does your pediatrician say? Send me a message if you want to talk. Good luck and I will keep you all in prayer.

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I wouldn't worry too much. If he's meeting other milestones, I certainly wouldn't worry about autism. Boys also don't use language as early as girls. My youngest was the quietest baby ever. She hardly even cried, much less called me mama. I took her to speech therapy at about 2-1/2 yrs old because she just wasn't opening her mouth. Kids take their own time with language. My 2nd wasn't speaking much either, but it turned out he had some hearing loss. Good luck!

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Hi S.,
My oldest son did not speak until a little over two. He did say mamma & dadda and a few other words. Looking back now I realize that he would point to things and I would say oh you want a cookie or whatever and he would smile. I never let him try to say the word. We had him tested and he was above where he needed to be for fine motor and gross motor skills. His pediatrician was not concerned. He said some children don't talk until they have something to say. Boy was he right. At about 24 months my son started speaking full sentences and has not stopped yet - some days he doesn't even take a breather! He is now 9. I hope this helps you a little.

C.

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3 of my 4 children began speaking late. The first could argue her case like an attorney by 15 months old once demanding a potty and explaining why she must have it with such gusto that a man in the store said if I didn't buy the potty he would!
My second child spoke late I think mostly because her sister could so clearly and effectively convey what she wanted and needed... it wasn't until she was 2 1/2 yrs old and attended preschool that she began to talk...we did have an evaluation and the speech therapist said her biggest problem was her brain was thinking "caterpillar" when her mouth was only capable of saying worm so she said nothing!
That brings me to my 3rd.... never babbled, never momma dada... nothing! Never cared if we were around , never cared if we were there or left or anything else.... you guessed it bingo... autism! A few things to quickly give yourself a little peace of mind or spur you to an eval... does he point to things and want you to look? Will he look at things you point out and ask him to look at? (Joint attention... my child at 12 still doesnt' do this!) Does he seem to understand and be willing to follow verbal instructions in one or simple two step sequences? How's his eye contact? Will he look at you, does he seem to seek you out seek out your face? Is he social? Does he play appropriately with toys? My child would line things up or arrange them in some sort of pattern but the cars never drove (they were flipped over so she could spin the wheels) dolls never did dolly things, all sorts of little figures used for imaginative play were just lined up and never acted out their little action figure lives.
I would say if your little guy seems connected emotionally (not obsessively or too clingy), seems to understand what is said around him (can bring you the doggy or the truck) seeks you out to show you things etc he is most likely just a slow speech developer. I would say by 18 months or so speak to the pediatrician about his speech and see if an evaluation would seem appropriate. If you are truly seeing signs that meet the criteria (you can google the actual list of autism signs) then please call Early Intervention right away and get started... beginning early if he does indeed have autism is a huge advantage! Our child is doing very well these days ... it's not an easy life but we truly feel all the things we did when she was little have made her life so much better!
Oh and for the record... my fourth... a boy... didn't speak until around 2 ... he was a preemie and needed some speech therapy, he does have some sensory issues but now at age 6 he can talk your ear off! Boy do seem to develop speech later than girls so it may not be anything to worry about. I applaud you though for being proactive ... so many parents take the wait and see attitude and end up with a 5 yr old that no one can understand !
Take care!
L. B (mom to 4 great kiddos!)

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My oldest son had only about 10 words by the time he was 2 and most people said, oh he's a boy and he'll talk when he's ready. Well,I am so glad that I did not ignore it. My son actually did turn out to have a neurological issue that makes the motor planning part of speech difficult. But either way, all the new research says that early intervention is the best. Our town has a program set up for infants and toddlers and he was evaluated and had a speech therapist within a month. I am so glad that I went with my gut and did not wait. It can never hurt to have him evaluated. Good luck.

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The child development experts usually say boys are a bit slower than girls with speaking and verbal skills in general (last time I heard!), probably because boys' brains are a little different. Men tend to be less verbal than women, again generally speaking.

I have a good friend whose son didn't really speak till he was three. He's quite verbal now (at 7) and very bright. I've heard of lots of kids who spoke "late" and turned out just fine. The range of normal for all kinds of development milestones is big.

If I were you, I'd rest assured that he is doing great in other areas and isn't showing other signs of developmental delay. He doesn't have trouble hearing, I assume. Probably if you are anxious or tense about his not speaking much he'll pick that up. You're already doing what is recommended by reading and talking with him: maybe he's just listening till he's ready to talk back. Maybe he's practices when you're not there!

If he were over 2 years, I would start taking a closer look.

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Dear S.,

My son has a speech problem due to a submucous cleft palate, so I've been dealing with speech issues for many years. Here is something definitive for you to look at to help you see how your child is doing. Read through this and the website and take a copy of this shorter version wih you to the doctor. Ask for a hearing check, a tympanogram (this measures the pressure in front of and behind the eardrum) and an evaluation by a licensed speech therapist. Sometimes it takes a while to schedule all this, so be looking ahead. If nothing else, you will rule out hearing problems, and the therapist can give you some tips for helping your child at home. There is probably nothing wrong, but your proactive approach now could help you feel so much more confident, and your child will benefit from the help so that he can more easily communicate with you and not become frustrated while he develops. It's easy for people to say wait, but for heaven's sake, why? Sometimes a little help is all they need. The fact that you are paying attention to it is a real service to your child. http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/commonproblems/spe...
so you have something concrete to judge your child's speech with, and remember that your child doesn't have to be one of the ones who performs at the beginning of the benchmarks:

Early speech and language milestones:
Newborns can localize a sound to their right or left side shortly after being born and will turn their head or look in the direction of a sound. This works best with loud noises when your baby is awake and alert, but they should also be able to hear soft sounds. They can also begin to smile spontaneously and in response to someone by 1 month. Infants learn to recognize their parents by 1-2 1/2 months.
Infants can imitate speech sounds by 3-6 months.
Monosyllabic babbling, or making isolated sounds with vowels and consonants (ba, da, ga, goo, etc) usually begins by 4-8 months.
Polysyllabic babbling, or repeating vowels and consonants (babababa, lalalalala, etc) usually begins by 5-9 months.
Comprehending individual words (mommy, daddy, no) usually occurs by 6-10 months.
By 5-10 months, most infants can say mama/dada nonspecifically, using the words as more than just a label for his parents.
Many infants can follow a one step command with a gesture (for example, asking for an object and holding your hand out) by 6-9 months. He should be able to follow a one step command without a gesture by 7-11 months.
The correct use of mama/dada as a label for a parent usually occurs by 7-12 months.
The first word (other than mama/dada) is usually spoken by 9-14 months.
By 10-15 months, he should be able to point to an object that he wants.
Your child will be able to say 4-6 words (other than mama/dada and names of family members or pets) by 11-20 months.
He should be able to follow a two step command without a gesture by 14-21 months.
By 16-20 months your child should be able to tell two wants using single words (juice, milk, more, etc.).
He should be able to point to one or more body parts by 14-18 months, and this will increase to 6 body parts by 22 months.
Two word combinations or sentences are used by 18-22 months and can include phrases like 'Want milk', 'More juice', etc.
A vocabulary spurt leading to a 50+ word vocabulary occurs by 16-24 months.
Pronouns (me, you, etc) are used by 19-26 months, although they may still be used incorrectly (reversed, etc). Most children can use pronouns appropriately by 30 months.
By 24 months his speech should be half understandable by strangers, or someone who is not routinely around the child.
By 24-32 months he should be able to name 4 pictures.
Conversations, with 2-3 simple sentences put together, can usually occur by 26-32 months.
He should understand two prepositional commands (put the cup on top of the table or next to the book) by 27-34 months.
By 29-34 months he should be able to give the name and use of at least two objects.
He should be able to name one color by 2 1/2 - 3 1/4 years, and this will increase to 4 colors by 3 - 4 1/4 years.
By 3 years his speech should be 75% understandable by strangers, or someone who is not routinely around the child and he should have a vocabulary of about 250 words. His speech should be fully understandable by 4 years of age with a vocabulary of well over 600 words.

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Hi,
I have been a Montessori teacher for many years and have worked with children from 2-6 and up. Please don't worry about your sons' lack of verbal skills. So many children find their own way with words at many different times in their small little life time. Some hold onto words in their minds and the first thing they say is in a full complete sentence. Its amazing the variety of stories!! So much doesn't ever get printed in books. Believe that he is collecting so much information and all will be unfolding in his own time. Teaching patience through our own example sometimes is the most powerful way of co-existing in this thing we call life...
good luck. Have fun being a new mommy!!

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Hi S., just read your message and I also would like to know the answer about your lil one not talking yet. I am Grandma to one lil boy which is 2 1/2 and he also is not really talking yet either. He says very very few words but jabbers up a storm all the time and it's really heart breaking not knowing what in the world he is jabbering about. He is very smart and understands most everything you say to him. I know everyone keeps saying he will talk when he's ready but by now you would think he'd be ready.
hugs, S.

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Hi S...

I do not normally respond to these things but I totally relate to your concerns.
I have a 28 month old and he does not speak yet either. The mama and dada is the same here at our house. I don't want to scare you but we have taken my son in to be totally eveluated for Autism and unfortunaltely they have diagnosed him to be a child indicative of Autism. That is not to say that he cannot be helped, because they all feel he can be. He is only a mild to moderate case at worst. Still, one of the signs that my husband and I became concerned of was the no talking. Then we found out that there were tons of other things that he should be doing at his age and is not, will not, and/or doesn't want to. You said that your child has has met most if not all other major milestones. That is a very good sign for not being a child with Autism. Don't let what you read about Autism spook you. Also, don't go looking for it to be something that it isn't. If it is Autism, I can tell you that it is not an easy thing to deal with, but you do what needs to be done to help them and it doesn't seem so bad after a while. If you are that concerned I would definately suggest getting him evaluated for any type of developmental delays. Although, diagnosis are hard to get before the child is 2. We have my son in Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy to help him overcome his challenges. Or if you don't want to get him evaluated, knowing what I do now, I would look into Speech Therapists anyway to help my son progress better than I could help him do.
Your son is only 16 months old. Give him a chance to show you what he can do. I would wait until he is 2 before I did anything. That is what we did and it has been just fine. There is still plenty of time for my son to get the help he needs to be able to function and live a normal life.

Good Luck, and take it one day at a time.
D. P.

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S.,

My now 4 year old sons situation was similar to Debbi's. At he two year check up he was still not talking a lot. He would not try to repeat things after us, he was speaking only a few words, and even those words were not complete, like "ba" = ball. Our pediatrician got us in touch with the CDSA, they evaluated him and he qualified for free speech therapy. He really progressed, and by his third birthday he did not qualify for services anymore.

Now he's in preschool two mornings a week, and talking up a storm! So it might just be a slight speech delay!

L.

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I am not sure what a pediatrican would say... their opinions always differ so much. But this is what I have seen in the preschool I run and with my two boys.

My oldest son spoke early. Could repeat any word you said clearly by the age of 2. Then my second son came. He does not care about anyone elses schedule. He is going to do everything when he sees fit. He spoke more than 3 words maybe when he was two. Still had limited language (in my eyes - those of one articulate child) when he was three. I taught him some sign language to lessen his frustration when he could not communicate what he wanted.

At three and a half, I can not get him to be quiet. He talks consantly. he just decided to do it on his time schedule, not mine.

We have children at our preschool that talk at extreme varying rates. I have a 3 year old that can read and a 5 year old that still uses his own langauge(meaning made up) more than ours.

Do not worry. And do not read too much... Information is useful but can also cause unnecessary stress.

Just talk to your child and look for how he chooses to communicate. He may show you a whole new way to look at the world. :)

You are doing everything he needs. You talk to him, you read to him, you love him. he will be fine.

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Hi, I know this may sound weird, but I don't have any boys, I have 2 daughters. I have a friend that has a son that didn't talk until he was almost 2 1/2 to 3 years old and still doesn't talk as much as my 4 year old has since she was about 15 months. I've been told that boys and girls mature so differently that talking is one of those later stages of development for boys than for girls. Now, I'm sure this doesn't apply to every boy, but every boy that I've known, starts talking later...I think they are too busy figuring out how everything works and taking things apart around the house. Talking is just not as important to them as early as it is for girls. I wouldn't worry! Give him a few months and I'm sure he'll be talking like crazy! One major thing I've learned from being a parent is patience! I don't always have as much as I should, but every thing that you are worried about them not doing yet...it's only a matter of time until they are doing it then plus something else and on and on...just cherish the moment, the here and now...don't rush anything! I can understand your worries...every mom worries, but accept that your child is an individual and try not to compare them! Trust me, it will make alot of things easier and then you will have more time enjoying them, not worrying! Being a first time mom is always hard and different, I know! But your first child is always a test of patience and maturity for you and them! You learn more and more as you have more children! Good luck! I hope my advice makes sense to you and helps you understand that your concern is probably minor. I'll be thinking of you!

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S. P, I wouldn't be overly concerned just yet about your 16 month old not speaking a whole lot yet. My son at that age went through the same thing at that age. And now, he doesn't know how to be quiet, and he's 15 years old. I bought him a t-shirt that says "My Parents Taught Me to Walk and Talk, Now All They Do is Tell Me to Sit Down and Be Quiet". Is he around other children? If not, try and find a play group with kids his age or slightly older who are talking more, he will pick up on the other kids talking and pick up more a little at a time. When my child was that little, we weren't around alot of other kids, he was just around us most of the time, but once he started interacting more with other kids and people, he started talking. Just keep doing what you are doing, reading to him, talking to him, that sort of thing. And if you aren't already, when he wants something, for example, juice or a snack, anything, tell him what it is and have him repeat it back to you. It won't be exactly right of course but any effort is worth it, and eventually, he'll get the hang of it.

From A. B. North Carolina, mother of 3, 15, 11 and 7 years old.

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Hello!
My 2 year old was having the same problem. When he was 1, he would say a few words, but around 1 1/2, he just stop talking it seemed and really wouldn't say anything. He could recognize pictures, and point to whatever word/thing (ie,tree,baby,car)that I asked for, but would not attempt to try to say the word. I was encouraged to talk often with him (like I was already doing), but instead of using a lot of words or sentences, just really stress one word, (i.e., instead of saying "Do you want a drink" just say "drink" and so forth on every thing. I was given 9 words to work with, with him using signs. More, please, open, play, (all) done, thank you, help, eat, and drink. If he wouldn't attepmt to say the word, I would say it and show him the sign. Like if he wanted to eat, I'd ask him if he wanted to "eat", show him the sign, and then help him do the sign himself. If he needed "more", show him the sign and say the word, then help him do the sign. So if he wouldn't talk, he would at least have to use the sign to get what he wanted, and not just let him point and cry for whatever he wanted. At first, he really didn't want to do it, he would just test me I guess to see if I would give in and give it to him anyway (which I did some...lol). But I would give him a couple of chances to do the sign, and if he didn't, I would hold his hands, showing him how to do the sign, then say " good!!", you said "eat", and give him what it was he wanted. Same with all those 9 words, just using the signs in what we did thourghout the day. He starting using the signs, then used the words with signs, now just says the words. He's talking so much more now, I'm so proud of him. He's not quite where he needs to be for his age, but he's well on his way. The signs are very simple. There's a web site that shows you how to sign just about any word "www.signwithme.com", with video instruction. We (my son and I), go to a class once a week for about 40 minutes where they give me suggestions like this. I hope this helps you and your child. Good luck!!

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my friend's son is just over 18 months and he barely says any words, doesn't even babble. the dr isn't too concerned yet because he does grunt and such and make eye contact. they may send him to a speech therapist if he hasn't started saying more when he is two. if the only part of the autism article was the talking, i wouldn't worry yet. he's not the only one!

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I would not worry too much if no other symptoms. My little girl was the same way and she started talking around 2. She has never stopped. It will come.

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my son, who will be 17 months on feb 11 doesn't say too many different things, but in the past couple of weeks he has started trying to. he says clock, truck, mama, dada, dog pretty good and is starting to try other things, but most everything sounds pretty much the same lol!! i have had several people tell me that their kids (mostly boys) didn't start talking til they were 2 or older and my hubby's cousin has a 2 yr old that is just starting to try talking, so i wouldn't worry about it now. you may mention it at his 18 mth checkup but i'm sure he is just fine!! he will be talking your ears off soon and you will wish he didn't lol!!!

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