Working Moms - Southington,CT

I understand...But it is often hard. You have to make the choice about what is most important to you. Do you leave the job stay at home and face the consequences or continue to work? This is a very young age and you sound very sincere about time with you daughter. Can you work from home or change shifts. In this economy our hands are tied as parents. I would suggest trying to schedule trip, outings, play time ect. This will help you utilze your time with your daughter better. Live life to the fullest each day and never regret the past! (: Good Luck

BRAVO JANE!!! I love what the previous poster said, so I won't repeat it all. I do want to add my own experience, though... I understand and completely relate to how you are feeling. The time flies so fast with kids and they grow so amazingly quickly, that it can seem that they change overnight and right before our eyes. If you are feeling that you are "missing" her daily ins and outs, those changes are going to be more pronounced to you. I have had to deal with the realization that our babies grow quickly and change constantly, and that this is the way it's supposed to be! It is hard to accept, I hear you. But staying home full-time would not stop that process. I am a teacher so I see it from both sides -during the summer I am basically a stay at home mom, and during the school year I work full-time and my girls go to day care full-time. I miss them tremendously during the day and they are ALWAYS on my mind, and during the summer I actually feel overwhelmed with being with them all day and yearn for a break!!!! I think no matter what our situation, we always pine for what we don't have and think it's better, easier, etc. But I know I could never fully give up my job and the personal and professional growth and satisfaction I gain from it. I am proud that my girls will see me in that light someday - as a mom who is strong and made a difference in her work every day.

It is VERY hard to juggle working with motherhood, I heard someone say once that it's like juggling plates... so true! There is never enough time, something is always taking a backseat, and it can be frustrating. But if you maximize your time with your daughter and are FULLY present in the moment with her, not thinking of all the other stuff you have to do, it will fulfill you and hopefully carry you over to the next time you are with her. Maybe in the future you can work part-time? Or work from home if possible one day a week (I'm not sure what your job is, I know I can obviously never work from home but would love to!!). Just know that there are many of us who are in the same boat and do understand. Be good to yourself and do NOT beat yourself up. Your daughter is no less well-adjusted and happy because you work. My oldest just turned 4 and I can now see that she is a wonderful, happy, secure child, and she has been in day care since 3.5 months old. She is just like any other kid her age. Hang in there and try to accept what you do have and make the best of it.

What I'm going to say is not going to change how you feel, but hopefully will make a difference in how you THINK about how you feel. If you were out and about and you met a man who seemed like a really great and loving father, you wouldn't think to yourself "well, he'd really be a better father if he didn't work and could stay home full time." It's not something that we think about men, and the truth is, there's no reason it should be different for women. You are no doubt a GREAT mom, and the fact that you work doesn't make that any less true. You DO know your daughter. The buck stops with you - you know her likes and dislikes, the things that make her laugh, and you're there when she wakes in the middle of the night. No amount of work would make that untrue.

Also, hopefully you like your work. Obviously it's much harder to get up and go every day to a job you don't enjoy. But if you do enjoy it, then recognize that it is something that fulfills you as a person. You would (presumably) want your daughter to grow up and do something that she really loves, so don't deny yourself the same.

Finally, comfort yourself with the things that you are able to do with and for her because you work. Home, food, vacation, college savings, etc. Sure, others make do without many things so that mom can stay home. However, since you at one point you made the choice to keep working, you probably value some of these things. And that doesn't make you shallow, it just means those are some of the things you want to have for you and your kid. You can push through the yucky feeling now so that you don't find yourself in a really messy and stressful financial place 10 years from now.

Again, you'll feel what you'll feel, but hopefully you can confront those unhappy feelings with some positive thoughts and the funk will lift.

i am a stay at home mom to 2 children a son who is 2 1/2 and a daughter who is 7 months. my husband made it very clear he will not allow strangers to raise our children and not only that who could afford the daycare anyway. i've become bored at home so i started working hours when i could in the afternoons to help out where i used to work. a few hours a week. lately i asked if there was a 20 hr position in the evenings. that is another option for you where one of one works days and one works evenings. alot of my friends do it and save big because they are not leaving their children at costly daycares and the peace of mind they are with their own parents. you and your husband should consider this option if its possible. juggling your daughter all over the place is not a good idea especailly with the upcoming winter months. do you really want to take them out when it is freezing or snowing?? i don't