Working Mom Issues

Hello K.,
It is very hard, I understand. I had to go back to work when my daughter was 2 months old and to this day, she is 19 months, it is still hard. That part doesn't go away. What I have done to work towards spending more time with her is find a home base business I can do on a part time basis. I am now looking for moms who want the same. I would love to show you what I do as this may be the answer you are looking for.
You can call me at ###-###-####. This is not a scam, nor a pyramid business. This is an honest home based business for moms.

I look forward to hearing from you, S.

I understand how hard it is to have to go back to work as it was tough for me long ago when my son was little to have to go back to work. He's now 15. I am also a daycare provider and see and hear the sadness/guilt of parents. I think it is important for you to start bringing your children to their childcare provider before you start work. It will get them use to going and perhaps put you a little at ease also. It would probably be a good idea to bring them the first day for a couple of hours and stay with them, then the rest of the week maybe leave them there for 1/2 the day. Then once you go back to work they will be ready for a full day. I think it's very important for you to be positive (however difficult that may be) about the daycare to your children because if you are upset or nervous they will know it or feel it and it will make it difficult for them. I also think it will be good for them to make new friends and have new experiences. I hope this helps.

Hi K.! Are you stay at home mom right now? Where do you teach? If I could show you a way of being able to stay at home with your children or if and when you go back to teaching a way to earn some residual income? I am a stay at home mom of two girls ages 13 and almost 6. I make a residual income by staying home. I was tired of the rat race of dealing with local fast food jobs where I was not making much money and not getting enough hours. Go ahead and email me or call me for more information. L.. E-mail:____@____.com telephone is ###-###-####.

I know going back to work was really hard for me too. I cried so hard the first day I dropped DJ off at daycare. It was really good for him though he has made lots of friends and he likes going. I have also started my own home business that I'm hoping to do just that soon and be able to keep him home most of the week and just let him go a few days to keep the friends. Let me know if you are interested in hearing about joinging my team. Good luck and keep your head high. One thing I did that was a big help was I had him start daycare the week before I went back so I could be more secure in the daycare. Hope I helped!

I am laughing as I read this because I'ma teacher too, and the whole 20-minute lunch/waiting for a bathroom thing is something that I COMPLETELY understand! I give you a ton of credit for pumping at school!! A teacher in my building is doing that and she spends most of her lunch period pumping, but she has done it with two of her kids so she is dedicated to doing it with the third. I decided not to continue nursing when I went back to teaching in September. I have a 7 1/2 month old, and she was only 13 weeks old when I went back to work since I didn't want the school system cutting my pay for missing time at the start of the year, which is what happened with my first daughter.

As far as advice for how to balance work and kids and home, I would say that you and your husband have to develop a routine and stick to it. You each need to take some household chores, those tasks that never go away, like laundry and dishes. My husband is a teacher too so I'm lucky to have him here when I get home and all that end of the day stuff is happening. We are like a well-oiled machine, and we just plow through the chores and get them out of the way so we can spend some playtime with our girls before baths and bed. The same goes for weekends - try to make a schedule for what you want to get done but don't spend the whole weekend working around the house. This is your chance to spend time with your kids. I try to clean in small increments so it's not so overwhelming on the weekends. Like cleaning the bathroom during the week but vacuuming on the weekend, so it's not all happening at one time. It CAN be done!!

I hear you about missing time with your kids to be with other peoples' kids, but remember that you are teaching, which is one of the most honorable professions out there. You are also nurturing your professional sense of self and having that wonderful mature, adult contact. I think teaching has made me a better mother AND teacher because I can relate to parents better now and I'm more patient with my students and my own kids. Again, give it time - you'll get your stride.

Once the year winds down you will have the awesome summer - it will be here before you know it! As far as part-time for the fall, there is a job-share classroom in my building where two teachers split the week for one classroom. Maybe you could start something like that with another interested teacher in your school? It seems to work really well for the two in my school.

Good luck and hang in there - you are NOT alone. There are a lot of us working moms who understand the daily life you are living, believe me!!

i've been there! i have a 5 year old a 2 year old and a 9 1/2 month old. I had to go back to work as soon as my maternity leave was over with the first. first thing is have someone you trust watching your kids. 2. bring a picture. because lord knows your gonna be wanting to look at their precious face. better to have a picture of them with you. that way you just repeat to your self i'll behome with them when my work is done. and after a bit you getused to it. it still breaks my heart when i leave for work (and i only do 3 hour shifts now) if one of them cries for me not to leave even though daddy is with them but just try to focus on your work, keep telling yourself i'm doing this for my kids and you'll be home soon good luck hope everything goes well.

Hi K.,

I feel your pain. I'll tell my story. I was a medical assistant working full time when our daughter was born. When she was 3 months, I went back to work only part time. I would pump during breaks in one of the doctor's offices. Worst of all my daughter didn't take the bottle very well. I felt terrible leaving her and couldn't wait to get home the days I worked. To top it off, by the time I got paid, after taxes and insurance (I was the carrier) and paying for child care, there was NOTHING left.

Changes needed to be made and we made major ones. My husband was able to get another job in his line of work that offered benefits. I quit my part time job after finding a job working from home full time (we needed the money) as a medical transcriptionist (since I had the experience).

Things were great but not easy! It was so hard working from home full time and having a growing baby into her toddler years. Plus I was tired and getting bored.

Then things changed again. When our daughter was 2, we bought our first home. With a new mortgage and all the expenses that come with a new home, I HAD to keep working full time.

I started looking into part time ventures, mostly home party plans, but quickly put the thought aside since I simply had no "extra" time. Then I got invited to a Tastefully Simple party. (No, this isn't a sales pitch). Not a big fan of home parties but decided to go because of the food. I had such a great time, my mind started to race. This was something fun that I could do out of my home...get people to eat and they would buy. It was ideal. So I asked for information and became a consultant 3 days later.

I mostly worked weekends but didn't mind because it was fun, I was only out of the house about 4 hours at a time, plus I was making extra money. Things really took off. 1-1/2 years later, I was able to quit my full time job and got another transcription job part time working from home. My food business made the remainder of my income! Didn't expect it to turn out that way but it did and this is just testimony to home businesses. 5 years later, I am still doing transcription 24 hours a week from home and I work out of the home 8 hours a week doing the parties.

The best part, I have not missed any of my daughter's milestones and I am very active in her life.

They aren't small forever and in my situation, where there was a will and you're willing to work, there is a way.

Come the fall, if you're "desperate" to make it work, maybe you can do something like tutoring part time if you want to stick with teaching and supplement with something else part time if you need to?

Good Luck, you're not alone! :)

Hi K.,

I am also a full time teacher (elementary), and I just returned to work in September when my son was about 6 months old. I'm so glad I found your message! (I'm new on mamasource)
Just to share my thoughts...

It is a difficult transition. Everyone says "Oh, you're so lucky to be a teacher - you get home early and you get 'summers off'" (hate that phrase!), but it is hard for them to understand the hours we put in outside of the classroom and how completely tiring our job is each day!

I am still learning and finding things that work - some days everything does seems to click, but other days it is very challenging. Some things I've learned that work are:

- Try to be organized with getting things ready for the day. I found that getting the daycare bag, my lunch, my coffee, etc. ready the night before has been a lifesaver.

- If you can have your husband for support and help with the kids, find some designated things he can do and some you will do. That way you can clear mental space and not worry about the things he's taking care of.

- Try to maintain a collaborative and positive relationship with your daycare provider. This is an area that hasn't been the easiest for me, as we've had some challenges with childcare, but we're trying!

- I have found some good support at www.mommytrackd.com. I haven't been able to connect with any teachers there, but it seems like a good community for working moms.

- I know this sounds trite, but do try to find something you enjoy to do once you get the hang of the routine a little bit. With kids and working full time, it is totally possible to work from sunup to sundown and still feel overwhelmed. When I decide to just once in a while do something I enjoy (nothing big) it really helps me to feel rewarded for all my work.

- Get takeout for dinner at least once a week!

Anyway, I hope this was helpful. Maybe we can stay in touch through mamasource. Just take it one day at a time, and good luck!

N. P.

Hi K.,
if you are interested in working from home so you don't have to leave your babies take a look at my website www.themoneymakingmom.com and click on "get more info" and i'll contact you shortly with all the details

Hi K.,
I completely understand how sad, anxious and overwhelmed you feel right now! I, too, am a teacher with two little ones (ages 22 months and 4)and I had to return to work five months after having my second. Like you, I was really, really stressed out about how I would manage and also found it even more heart-wrenching to think about leaving two children five days a week.

BUT, I have good news for you...it was so much less difficult than I imagined it would be. Just remember that you will have all late afternoon/early evening to enjoy your children and that with our schedule, you really work little more than half the year and can live from one vacation to the next! To prevent morning chaos, I get everything done at night- lunches, outfits, snacks for the car ride, coffee, etc. etc. We all manage to get out of the house in less than 30-40 minutes! I also pumped at school (in my classroom w/a locked door) and became very efficient about it. I would not recommend that you pump in the bathroom, though- that sounds like a big, awkward mess to me!! If you don't have your own classroom, there HAS to be another private place where you can go- the nurse's office, another teacher's room, etc. Lastly, when I returned, I realized how much I had missed being in the classroom, and both of my boys have been very happy and engaged at their daycare/preschool (my husband stays home with them Mon. and Tues.) When we get home, I shut everything out- phone messages, mail, clutter- and spend a good hour reconnecting & relaxing with them.

You will definitely survive!! This may make you feel better- I am unexpectedly pregnant again and have no choice but to return next fall when my baby is only three months (I am the health insurance subscriber/primary bread-winner). I am actually less stressed now than I was when I was in your situation, going from one to two!

Take care & all the best to you,
M.

Hi K.,

I am in a similar situation. I have a 2 girls, a 2 yr old and 4 1/2 month old. I was only home for 12 weeks and dreaded the return back to work. I can't imagine having to return after 9 months.

I currently work 35 hours a week and have to juggle work, being a mom and a wife. I too am nursing and pump twice a day at work. The morning routine has to be exactly that, a routine. I get all our bags and clothes ready the night before. I shower while both girls are still sleeping. Usually the baby is awake right after my shower or I wake her after I'm dressed so she can nurse. Then I wake up my 2 yr old and get her dressed, make her a fruit smoothie and we're out the door. For the most part, the mornings run smoothly.

If you're serious about pumping, you should find out if there's a better place for you to pump. You should be in a clean, comfortable, relaxing environment (an office with a lock on the door is ideal).

I have no way of knowing if you'd be interested in this or not but if I could show you how to earn income from home that will allow you to spend more time with your family, would that help?

If you'd like more information, send me an email at ____@____.com're not alone.
K. D.

It is a very difficult time. You will get used to it though. I remember spending almost 3 hours in the morning getting the kids ready so i can take them to daycare and be at work on time.

Hi K.,
I am returning to work after only 3 months home with my son! I envy you your 9 months!! :) I was fortunate to stay home with my daughter for the better part of a year. I am dreading Monday morning and have many of the same concerns as you: morning routine, missing milestones...I have used this week to "practice" (I did everything like I was leaving the house for 7:45am but did not) the morning routine and feel a little bit better about it, perhaps you could use this advice. I know there will be tears on Monday - both from me and from my son!

It is one of the hardest things to do is to head back to work after maternity leave. First, look at different options with you expressing the breastmilk. At nine months your daughter has a very good jump start on breastfeeding and maybe consider weaning down a session or two of breastfeeding..this way you don't have to pump as much when trying to head back to work. You can freeze breastmilk when properly stored. If those aren't your choice in options maybe get a more inclusive pump (where the container is attached directly to the pump) so that you don't have to do a juggling act try to pump during break.
As far as the mornings go, do most of your setting up and packing the night before, after kiddies are in bed....putting together lunch, milk, snacks, in their mealbox in the fridge, ready to go. Diaperbag, on standby. DH does need to help you, if he can!!!
I know it is tough letting go and moving ahead when you have the little darlings. Just know that they will be just fine and they will get used to the transition too. My best of luck to you and your family