Working Mom Desperately Needs Sleep!

My daughter is 5 months and she still wakes up 1 to 2 times a night. But there are several things I have done that I think have helped her sleep. #1. I started a nighttime routine...bath, book,etc. #2. I eat a lot of protein for dinner so that when I breast feed she gets lots of it (someone told me to do this and it seemed to help) #3. Don't let him nap after 5pm.
Hope these suggestions help!

Hi G.:
I know it's hard to work without sleep but just have a little patience. My baby did the same almost at same age. When I called the Dr. he told me that it may be some teeth coming up and after a couple of days the 2 upper teeth appeared. He told me to use homeopathic pills or a little bit of Tylenol before bed to relieve the pain and it worked.
Good luck!!!

Sounds like it’s time for some sleep training. Talk to your pediatrician. Mine recommended a modified version of the Ferber method when my son was still waking every TWO hours like clockwork at six months old (oh yes, I was working full time and a walking zombie). Sleep training worked for us and he has been sleeping like a champ ever since.

Basically, it boils down to having a consistent bed time routine, putting him to bed awake at the same time each night (8 p.m. works great), and checking him when he cries but not picking him up or soothing him to sleep (you can pat him to let him know everything is okay, but make it quick and do not linger) and then leave the room. You wait five minutes, and then check him again, wait ten minutes, then check him again, and so on, increasing the amount of time between each check by five minutes until he goes to sleep (if he is not crying, no need for the check, just let him be until he falls asleep). You go through this same process each time he wakes at night. The program stresses the importance of allowing your baby to go to sleep/ return to sleep on his own. You can give him a comfort object (blankie, stuffed animal) to help him soothe himself if he needs it.

It is important to respond when he wake/cries so that he knows you WILL come if he needs you (you do not want him to feel abandoned for the night).You will check to see if everything is okay, but if there is nothing wrong, you aren't going to hang around just because he doesn't want to sleep. Whatever you do, do not get him up to play. That will only reinforce that nighttime is playtime, and that is NOT what you want to do. And, no feeding. At this age, he doesn't need it anymore.

The key is to stick with it. I learned the hard way when I gave up the first time and then had start all over. But, once I was consistent and did not waver from the program, it worked wonders and my son became a champion sleeper, which at one point I never thought was possible. For almost a year now he has been sleeping 12 hours every night. It may take longer than you expect, and yes you will have to hear him cry, but in the end everyone will getting the sleep they need (which is just as important for his development as it is for you)

There are other sleep training methods, so you may want to research your options and choose a method that you are comfortable with (I have also heard of "Sleep Easy" but am not familiar with it.)You will probably get a lot of different advice on this subject and ultimately will have to do what you are comfortable with. The key is consistency. Glad I could share what worked for me.

Sorry so long, just wanted to add that your pediatrician may have information for you so you do not have to purchase a book (mine did) and just please be aware that everything I read, and even what the ped. told me was that it would work in a few days, or may take as long as a week, but with my son it took almost a month. I did see improvement in the first week (less crying, longer periods between wakings) but it took a while before he was really sleeping through the night. You just have to stick with it and know that it will get better. My pediatrician was very supportive, and that is what really helped me though it, knowing there was a positive end in sight.

G. I feel your pain. I had my last child(ren) (twins) 5 years ago & my husband travels weekly so it was just me & I think there were times that I actually slept-walked through taking care of them.

I have found 4 very good rules of thumb for a happy sleeping baby.

(1) Naps - a tired baby makes a horrible sleeper - they get over tired and can not stay asleep. My twins got up at 6:30 - 7:00 am & went down for an hour to hour and a half nap at 9:00 am or so. Then again an hour to hour and a half or so nap after lunch around 2:00 pm. Then they were in bed between 8 pm - 9pm.

(2) Pillow - I know what you are going to say. But think about it like this - everyone sleeps better on a pillow with your head elevated. Get a not so fluffy (still soft) and a zippered pillow case & you would be amazed how well it works. I was, it was one of the best things I did.

(3) Consistancy - start a bed time routine & stick to it.

(4) Let'm cry - If you are going to check on them - do it quitely - no lights - no talking - check for wetness & other possible reasons for crying & then give them a kiss & a back rub - GO BACK TO BED!!! Your baby will get the message eventually.

I hope your little one finds happy sleep soon - but remember he is still young at least once a night is normal at this age.

Good luck

I think the best thing to do is to keep him in his crib. If he is really crying go comfort him and get him what he needs (bottle, nursing or paci), and put him right back to sleep. Just don't turn on the lights. I try not to talk and keep everything as boring as possible. At some point he will be able to comfort himself to sleep.

ALl I can say is I hope it gets easier for you. Having a young one who doesn't sleep easily by himself can make life difficult for a while. Try to stay consistent in getting him into a bed by himself and leaving him there to cry himself to sleep as long as it isn't for hours on end.

Good luck!

S.
www.gourmetcandlemom.scent-team.com

There are no tricks. I am a military wife as well. My first daughter slept through the night since she was 6 mths old my second never slept through the night until she was 14mths and still at 20 mths wakes up a few times a night sometimes. My 12 week old baby sleeps better then her. I would make sure he doesn't have ear infections or something that might be causing him to wake up. Second, no matter how many times I got up with my daughter I never brought her into bed. I would rock her or take her in the stroller for a walk to fall back asleep and then put her back in her crib, otherwise you start a habit that is hard to break. Don't bring him in the bed anymore. He might be waking up becuase he notices you are not around. Let him cry for a little bit to see if he ca fall back asleep on his own (not a long time just a few minutes). Good luck I feel your pain because I too work and had 3 children in 3 yrs. I haven't had more then 4-5hrs a night of sleep in the last 20 mths. The joy of having young children. Just remember this time passes fast, there will be a time when you wished he would get up again so you could cuddle. Good luck

When your baby wakes at night, he cries out to you because he needs you. In the first year a baby's wants are the same as his needs. He is telling you he needs you. You would not let him cry alone during the day, so why let him cry alone at night.

As someone else suggested, it could be his sleep clock is off. Perhaps he need less or more naps during the day. Check with your caregiver to see if his daytime naps have changed. Perhaps, he is still being put down for naps based on his old/infant schedule. Maybe he needs fewer naps during the day, now that he is older.

Perhaps, reviewing your sleep arrangements would be an option. Is it possible to create a sleeping arrangement, where he could sleep with you AND you could sleep. Then his emotional needs for his mother are met, and mom and baby get the sleep they need.

Your baby is a baby for such a short time. During that time, his needs may sometimes be intense. Know that the time you spend with your baby,night or day, is valuable to your child. And will forever make a difference in his life.
K.

maybe you can check with your daycare and see how his naps are going. if he's taking two per day, maybe he needs to go to just one nap a day so that when you put him down at night, he's tired and ready to go. try not to have him really active an hour before bedtime.....get a good "night-night" time routine....bath, reading a book, yes even that young. hope you can get some sleep soon!

G.,
It's time to stop going in there....night time is a time for sleep and he is old enough to be sleeping 10-12 hours a night.
Of course he would RATHER have you there or play, but you know as a parent that he NEEDS to sleep (as does the rest of the family).
Honestly, let him cry--it will be hard that first night--turn the monitor down or off if you have one--but he is safe and fine.
it will be better the second night and by 4-7 nights if you honestly refuse to go in there--then he will be sleeping through the night.
If you HAVE to go in there --thinking something is wrong--just go in there to check on him--do not talk and be as "cold" as possible, but honestly, if he wasn't sick when you put him down--he will be fine until morning--that is straight from my pediatrician btw--
I'm not saying it will be easy--but look down the road--1 week of some horrible nights will equal a lifetime of a baby and child that knows how to sleep and self-soothe. The whole family will be better rested (including the baby).

Good Luck!

Hi G.

monitor his naps. Maybe he sleeps too much during the day.
But the only thing that worked for us was letting him cry.
At 8 months, there is no reason for which he can't sleep through the night. Check room temperature, noise, light. A toy that turns on maybe, etc...
Then let him cry. It will take a couple of frustrating nights but it will be so rewarding!
I would go see him and say "Mommy is not picking you up. You're going to sleep in your bed. You're fine (check diaper, fever, thirst) and it's time to sleep. I love you" Then walk away! I'd come back after 10 min. rub his back and go, come back after 20 min, rub his back and go and stay away. do not talk to him after that, do not pick him up. It's a learned behavior: he KNOWS you're coming. :-)
And that is all he has to think about "I want out now, I want out now!" I had to keep telling myself "he's not in pain. His needs are met" And he won't be traumatized by this either. ;-)
Good luck!

Co-sleeping works for some families, but it's obviously NOT working for you, and yes there ARE tricks but you have to understand that you have to stick to it for several nights in a row with consistancy or it won't work. There is no magic wand or pixie dust that you can wave over your child to teach him how to sleep through the night in one night. He needs to be put in his bed while sleepy but still awake. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own--there is NO reason for you to lay with him to help him fall asleep-- did you see the poster below who says she still has to lay with her 5 1/2 year old??? Why? I don't get that!! Say good night and leave the room!! You need to have some sort of simple bedtime routine or ritual (it doesn't have to be elaborate like bath and reading a book-- in my crazy household of 3 kids, bath happens whenever we can squeeze it in, and so does story time with books-- my 2 year old's bed time ritual has always just been me picking him up and holding him sideways with his head hanging down so he can tap heads with everyone as they say good night to them-- no matter what he was doing, he gets it when I pick him up and hold him that way that it's his transition time for getting ready to go in his bed)... anyway... you need to put him in his bed and say good night. Walk out of the room. If he cries, let him cry for just a minute or 2, go back in and lay him down and gently tell him it's time for night night and WALK OUT. It doesn't matter if he pops back up to a sitting or standing position in his crib-- you have to walk out. He will cry and scream if this isn't what he is used to. Let him cry for just a few minutes and go back in and keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over again until he gets it that no matter how much he cries and screams that mommy will be back in to check on him (he is not abandoned like a cry-it-out method) yet crying and protesting will get him nothing except you laying him back down and reminding him it's time for sleep. DO NOT pick him up, DO NOT bring him to your bed, DO NOT linger in his room. I know you are exhausted. But if you give in and pick him up and bring him to bed with you, NOTHING is accomplished except you get to close your eyes for a few minutes. In the long run, you are accomplishing NOTHING by letting your sleepiness take over. You said he wants to play in the middle of the night-- well first of all if you can do the above technique for a couple of nights in a row, you will miraculously see that since he fell asleep on his own that when he wakes in the middle of the night, he will figure out that he can just fall back to sleep even though you aren't there with him. My son tried waking in the middle of the night and crying-- I was very sleepy and the easy thing would be to take him back to my bed but I knew I didn't want to start that habit, so as sleepy as I was, I went in to check and see that everything was OK (no fever, no vomit, not injured) and laid him down and said it was time for night night. He was so mad! He screamed and I left the room. I only let him cry for a few minutes and went back in and did the same thing (laid him down and said night night) and left the room. He tried one more time, then got it that there was no point. I honestly couldn't tell you how long he laid there before he fell back to sleep- I assume right away since he got quiet (so I fell back to sleep)-- but you said your son wants to play in the middle of the night. If he's in his crib he can play quietly all he wants!! Don't take him back to your bed!! He will be bored and sleepy on his own and drift back to sleep when he knows that the deal with crying in his crib gets him nothing except you lovingly telling him to go back to sleep and then he's alone again! It will NOT happen in one night. He is used to you giving in and taking him to your bed so he will keep testing you to find your breaking point where you are so sleepy that you give in-- but if you do you're back to square one. Pick a night when you don't have to be up for work the next day and try it, then stick with it for several nights. Depending on how strong willed he is, it may take up to a week but if you are consistant and DON'T GIVE IN and DON"T LINGER in his room, it should work within a few day's time. If you have the time and energy, go to a book store and skim the chapter in the back of "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" that discusses accidental parenting. I'm sorry this is so long, but I keep seeing people say that co-sleeping is great, but it's obviously not working for you and this technique is difficult (especially when you're so sleepy and just want to give in) but works miracles if you can stick to it. I have a friend who couldn't bring herself to do it while her kids were young so now her daughter crawls into bed with her brother at night. It worries the heck out of me that she is so used to a boy in bed with her, what will she do when she grows up? Fall into bed with men just so she doesn't have to ever sleep alone? You may think I'm overreacting but it really does concern me becuase she's now 10 and her mom figured she'd just grow out of needing to sleep in her parents' bed, but she just moved to a different bed with a warm body

you need to set up a sleep plan and stick to it. consistency is key with little ones, one night in the bed with you will throw off everything.
with us, at six months we started a bedtime routine of storytime and layed her in her crib and sang a song and then left and closed the door. if she cried longer than 10 minutes we would go in and without picking her up say i love you, goodnight. when she woke in the night i would make sure she had binkie and wasn't soaking wet and say the same thing and leave. some nights she cried for 30-40 minutes and i let her. not everyone could do that but it ended up making it clear we would not take her out.
she has been sleeping through the night ever since. when we put her in her toddler bed at 22 mos. she started waking in the night and coming to our room and i would pick her up and put her back in her bed. one night she did it 8 times but after about a month she no longer comes in our room but occasionally.
take all the advice you get and put together your own routine you feel comfortable with. be consistent though.

Hey G.,
I used a co-sleeper for both my twins and my youngest. A huge difference from my experience with a typical crib arrangement I used with my first son. Check out http://www.armsreach.com/shop-3/the-original-1 It's a crib which attaches to the side of your bed, which is lower on one side so you can access the baby without the baby being in your bed. This way the baby is not in your bed with you and is at the same time close enought to you to hear the baby at the first sound, BEFORE they fully wake themselves (and you) up by crying/screaming for you. This is key!

Have the bottles already prepared in the fridge (if your breast feeding even easier!), pampers/wipes already set out and as soon as you hear the baby fussing...roll over and feed/change the baby before they fully wake up. Since you do not have to get up, walk around, etc. you or the baby do not fully wake up and it is easier to get back to sleep.

Also, it is important to not play with the baby, no laughing, no lights,etc. If you speak, do so in a low voice. He needs to learn to recognize the difference in day/night time and when it is ok to play with mama and when mama needs to sleep! Instead maybe quietly sing a lullaby while you feed/change him or talk/sing to him.

With the co-sleeper you can go back to sleep while rubbing your childs back, etc without having to be fully awake because you are holding him/he is in the bed with you. Just having you near and feeling your "sleepy energy" helps the baby to go back to sleep faster.

Well as you can tell I can't say enough about the genius who made the co-sleeper. I sold my son's crib to pay for it and could not have been better spent! I know it saved my sanity with the twins :> I hope it can help you as well!

Best of luck to you!!
A.

Hi G..
I can relate. My husband also has a job that requires total awareness and alertness (air traffic controller). With both our kids, he NEVER got up with them in the night. (I'm not complaining mind you.. it's just the way it was). At 8 months, you may remember from your daughter, they start waking up at night to practice new skills they have learned. You need to keep things extremely low key if you have to go in to see about him. Try not to take him out of his crib at all. If you have to, don't turn on the lights (or only use a hall light with the nursery door pulled almost shut so that the lighting is filtered).
If you haven't, I would recommend reading "On Becoming Babywise". It is a short read, but has lots of good parent directed ideas. I used it and had mine sleeping through the night (ie 7 hours or more straight) by 11 weeks and 7 weeks.
As they get older, we are tired-er, so we start giving in on things we know we shouldn't and let them in the bed with us so we can go back to sleep. Needless to say, we don't stay asleep long, and it isn't restful, either. So, you have to ignore that desire to just grab them and get into bed and go back to sleep. You'll have to tough it out a few nights and only put him to bed in his own bed/crib. If you have not trained him to go to sleep on his own yet, (Ferber is what we did.. worked fantastically!) then that is at the heart of the problem. You need to train him how to go to sleep. That way, when he wakes at night, he can put himself back to sleep without you having to get up and go in there to do it. It takes some will power to stay outside the door for 10 minutes while they cry (use a clock.. it seems longer when they are crying than it actually is)... but you only have to do it a few times. But he has to learn how to go to bed still slightly awake, so he can learn to go to sleep.
Does that make sense?
I would try to get a book on Ferberizing during your lunch break tomorrow if you can, read as soon as you get home, and start it tomorrow night (Friday)... as it might take 3 nights or so to get it "down". By Monday night, you should ALL sleep much better throughout the night.
Best of luck to you.
And hang in there...

ps.
Here is a link to a quick overview of the Ferber Method.
http://www.sleep-baby-sleep.com/ferber-method.htm

I think that many people who are negative about it may misunderstand part of it. You don't just leave them in their room crying unconsoled until they go to sleep. You go in at short intervals (you just do not pick them up). You can rub their back, help them lie back down, etc, just not pick them up, no rocking, etc. You only stay for a few moments, then back out. Each time, you add a few more minutes in between checks (up to 15 minutes maximum the first night). It can take 2 hours the first night. But the 2nd night, it won't take as long. The 3rd night even less.. I also think that some of the ladies who were unhappy with this method may have waited until their child was much older than the "ideal" time to begin this method. 6-7 months is about right. A year old or more and the child is much more stubborn, can stay awake longer (and usually is standing in the crib screaming or trying to climb out) and it is harder on everybody. If you do it around 6-7 months, they are just sitting, usually not able to stand and try to climb out.. they give up more easily and learn to sleep, which is the point. But the big complaint by people is "my baby feels abandoned".. well, not if you follow the method correctly. You still go in and check on them. They are not abandoned. I think at 8 months, you can still pull off using this method with relative ease (in other words, it shouldn't take a month.. just a few days, maybe a week).
Better sleeping to you!

Your child needs more reasurance. There is nothing wrong with a baby wanting to be with his mother at night. Please get and read ""The Family Bed" It should change your mind, and will allow the whole family to get a good night's sleep.

We co-slept with our 3 and last child. He's 5 1/2 and is sleeping most every night now in his own bed all night.
I do have to lay with him to get him to go to sleep.
At any rate, if the little one is napping a lot during the day that could be part of the problem.
Limit him to 1 nap of an hour, 2 tops. And make sure it is in the earlier part of the day no naps after 4.
Put him in a routine of dinner, bath, quite time with a toy or reading to him with low key music playing, then sleepy time.
This will not happen over night you have to reprogram him to a new routine.
Get the older child to help out as well. You NEED your sleep or you'll be a bear.

3 of my 4 children slept through the night at a pretty young age. But 1... oh that 1 didn't sleep a full night for more than 19 months. I was completely exhausted. So I can definitely sympathize. Only, I never once put him in my bed. I know I can't sleep with a wiggly baby or toddler in the bed with me. Good for you for trying different things and considering your husband's safety.
What worked for me was first, I made sure his room was dark. I found that denim curtains worked pretty well. And I bought a scarf fabric panel to go around the edges so even less light gets in. I even use a clothes pin to keep them closed so the A/C doesn't blow it and let light in. Second, I made sure the crib was comfy and that he would not get too hot. People sleep better in a cool room. I got a glow worm and his blanket and put him in his crib. We would push the glow worm and he could figure that out on his own. That could provide light if he's scared and songs if he's bored.
The most important part was the sound machine! Every nap and bedtime has the sound machine on with the sound of rain in the background. It's consistant and lulls them and it drowns out the outside noise. They come with many different sounds so you find what works for him.
Try the teething tablets before you put him down. Our routine was when it was naptime or night-time *keep it the same*, diaper change, teething tablets or gel, lights off before you put him in the bed, snuggles, lay him down, the sound should already be on, tell him night night, cover him up with his little blanket, push the worm and leave the room, close the door. Give him time to work out his issues with himself. He may cry for a little bit, but give him time to figure out how to soothe himself. It may seem cruel during the soothing training, but that's a valuable tool that he needs to learn. You're doing him a favor and helping him to be a little more independent.
Plus... very important, if he isn't getting a good nap during the day, he won't sleep well at night. Sounds strange because you think he'd be more tired and sleep better, but it works just the opposite. Overly tired babies continue poor sleeping habits. So make sure he's getting 1-2 good naps during the day. Hang in there! He will grow up and this will just be an unpleasant yet distant memory! :o)

Hi G., I have always been the unconventional one. I an 62, and my children are grown and have children. When my son was 2 weeks old, milk alone didn't satisfy him. So I put him on whole milk with syrup. After two weeks of that, he was drinking 5to6 ounces at a time and still not satisfied. So I started him on soupy oatmeal. Four ounces and he slept all night. He also started growing like a weed. I also added liquid vitamins. I know a lot of women would be shocked by this, but Doctors don't know everything. This is my belief, "if a baby is hungry, feed him/her." M. H.

There are no "tricks" -- there is only consistency. Right now you are teaching him that if he cries and screams you will do anything he wants.

Somehow society seems to have convinced us that it is cruel and unusual punishment to allow a baby to cry himself to sleep!

I agree with the others about that Ferber method -- the idea is to NOT jump every time your child says frog. Instead, remember that you are the parent and you have his best interests at heart: babies need sleep in order to grow and develop properly, and the body's time for repair and rejeuvenation is at night; therefore, we all need to sleep at night -- including your son!! because it is in his best interests too!!

He will learn quickly that night time is sleep time IF you will teach him: simply do not allow him to get up at night, no matter how much he screams and cries. It will only take a few days, which is a whole lot better than continuing how it's going for years on end!!!

Earplugs are very inexpensive and work quite well. Seriously.

Make sure that he gets plenty of play time and exercise during the day so that he will be tired at night, and then put him in his bed and leave him there. I would check on him, like they say in the Ferber method, but not after only 5-10 minutes, I would actually wait longer even on the first night. Your intent is that he will fall asleep on his own, and by coming in too quickly after he starts crying you are reinforcing the idea that he is unable to sleep without you AND that he can control you by his screaming.

VERY important: make sure that you do as that article says, just stroke his back a little, don't talk to him, don't pick him up, just come in - stroke his back a little - leave. This way he is comforted knowing that you are there, but he also realizes that things have changed and Mommy is in control now. And I don't know if you use a night light, but don't!! Any sort of light actually interferes with the body's sleep mechanism, and disrupts the resting process.

Also, a bedtime routine is crucial: babies thrive on routine, and knowing after dinner the bath is the signal of the beginning of bedtime helps the little guy to get in the sleep mode. Do the exact same thing every night, whatever it is -- with my kids it was bath, snuggle, read a story, lights out, pray, sing a song, good night.

Babies cry -- it is their nature. It does not signify that you are a bad parent. If you know that you have attended to all of his needs, and a doctor has found nothing wrong with him, then you just gotta be strong and resist the urge to rush in and quiet him -- let him realize that he can get what he wants from you WITHOUT throwing a tantrum!

Hi

To be honest if he is older than 8 mos old you have to get strong. I always tell my friends it is not my job as a mom to always please my child. I did the Pherber (sp) method or "cry it out method" you can find all that info and the steps online or in the local book store. With a child and no sleep I recommend the online approach for research faster than reading a book. My son (as well as all children) needed to learn to fall asleep and console himself at night when he wakes up here and there. We all had to learn to do that. If you are always at his aid in that dept you will be for years to come.

Everyone comments on how my son goes to sleep, no issues while their children are in their bed till 5 or older. We have a regime. You can relate to that I am sure! We have a yogurt (you can choose the healthy snack of your choice) we brush teeth, we read a short story (but only one & of his choice) we go potty, we say prayers and we sing Jesus loves me. Then lights out, soft classical music on (also your choice of music) with a dim night light with lots of hugs & kisses and I love yous. He is off to bed. Works like magic. Once he gets used to this drill or your choice of a bedtime regime he will learn what comes next and learn to expect it.

This creates security. He will fuss, yes, he will cry, yes. Expect it, the key is to always be calm, let him know it is bedtime, you love him and even tell him your going to bed too. Another thing that might help it to say goodnights all around the house. To the dog, his sister, your husband and all his cuddle friends in his room. Telling the house goodnight also helps. I learned also not to leave the monitor on in my room listening to him cry if you do the cry it out method. It will get on your nervous. Just turn it on from time to time to hear what is happening and if all is quiet go look without being seen.

It is hard. Very hard to do this I am not suggesting it is milk and cookies but I have been there. I have helped my friends & family with their children and they are so happy to have it over with. It takes about a week, start it over a weekend if you can. Get the support of your husband too. You both have to be on the same page. Also, know that as long as he is feed, dry, had all he needs from you, you can allow him to cry. My son would go 2 hrs on and off. But my doc said that if I have done all I need to do for him and I am following the Pherber method then him crying some is ok. Your doing the right thing, your teaching him to sooth himself. He will need that in later years when you can't be there or when he is an adult. I hope this helps you G.. Have your husband, if you can, take ever other night with you to help. Maybe your daughter too she is old enough can share in this. It will not last forever and if you need to cry too while he is crying go right ahead. We all do it!

Best wishes to you! One day he will be 6 like mine and you will wish for babyhood again!

A. in Florida

G.
When yu find that magical cure let me know please. I have a 18 year daughter and a 3 yr son who has not sleep through the night but 6 times in his little life. :) I am past exhaustion. Sorry I had no advice just Sympathy. Take care.

if you ever need to scream who can feel free to email me
____@____.com
:) R.

What did you do with your daughter? I honestly think too many people put too much emphasis on this! If your child is not sleeping and causing you to loose sleep and if your husbands job is so important that he cannot take just as much of this responsibility as you, then maybe you should either not work or just let your baby sleep with you like I did! and I did it for BOTH my kids with no problem!

The only other thing I would suggest is that you check out what's happeing during the day with his sleep patterns along with any day care or sitter you may be leaving him with. I would also re-evaluate what you are giving him to eat in the evenings.....any sugar? Also, is he getting enough to eat? I had that problem with my son and ended up having to add some cereal in with his feeding and this was only at 4 months. He was growing fast and was hungry! It worked. The suggestion of the classical music is good as that is what I make my daughter go to sleep on now (or meditation music)and she is 13. But for now, you need SLEEP AND JUST GET IT! Then you can work out all the other details.....Welcome once again to motherhood. My son is 26 and my daughter is 13 so I understand what you are going thru. The good news is, they will keep you young and in the know! ;-)

Hi G.,
It's not a trick... it's called crying it out and/or the Ferber Method and it works but you have to really want to do it. Your son is old enough now to not mistake you leaving him to learn to soothe himself to sleep (after you've checked to be sure all his other needs are already met) for abandonment. It's the only way and the sooner you do it, the better off you'll all be. You want your child to learn this skill (and it is a skill they must learn) as soon as possible, so they can fall back on it quickly when other things, like teething, potty training, etc. get in the way later. My daughter is 32 months and I did this with her twice between her 8th month and her 2nd birthday and within 3 nights, she was crying for only a few minutes before settling down to sleep. However, I will add that she was a great sleeper before, who simply had issues now and then (and still does).

Good luck,
K.

Wow, my now 2 year old son was doing exactly what you have described. It began in February when he was sleeping in his crib, in his own room and like clock work, he woke up every single night at 2:30 A.M. I'd go get him, try to coax him to lie down but he would just stand up again and cry. I'd take him to my glider rocker in the living room and rock him for a little while. When he would fall asleep, I put him back into his crib but he would wake instantly and we'd begin this process all over again. I know how exhausted you are. I went through this too. It just got to the point so I could sleep, I would put him on my chest (because he only wanted to be held) and I'd fall asleep with him on the sofa. My husband and I took turns every night going to get our son and sleeping on the couch with him. This occured for well over a month until one night I was just so frustrated with trying to get comfortable on the sofa with him that I just put pillows all around him, pushed the coffee table up to the couch and returned to my own bed, leaving my son alone on the couch. This went on for a couple of months...the nightly routine of having to go get him, and put him on the couch. Once we dismantled his crib (as he was jumping out on his own and finding me in my own room), he no longer was needing to sleep on the couch but he just turned 2 in July and most every night he wakes up, wanders to my room where either me or my husband walks him back to his room where he sleeps on his crib mattress on the floor. Some nights he wakes up more than once. I can tell you that just a few nights ago he woke up at 12:30 A.M., 2:30 A.M., 4:30 A.M. and finaly up for the day at 6. At one point, I walked him back to his bed for a total of 6 times! I felt like I had not really slept at all. I wish I could explain why this is happening. I have 2 daughters who NEVER did this. I have begun potty training my son, who at 2 years old is already keeping himself dry during the night. My husband's thought was maybe our son was waking because he had to go potty. One night my husband got up with our son to take him to the bathroom, where indeed he had to go but he still woke up several other times during the night. So, really, I am at a total loss. I am equally frustrated and tired. Before February, my son was sleeping through the night without a single problem. If you or other moms find a remedy, by all means, send me a message too. I'd love to begin sleeping through the whole night again without interuptions. My son doesn't nap very much during the day. Generally, he will get sleepy before 1 P.M. and I'll let him sleep but usually no longer than 3 P.M. If he sleeps after 3 P.M. he won't be tired enough for bedtime, which is usually around 9:30 P.M. And, yes, I've tried keeping him up later but he still wakes up.