Won't Sleep in Crib

Acid reflux is very painful. As an adult, i suffer with this and there are many nights I can not sleep because of it. The primary issue is that when in a prone or fetal position there is less resistance to the acid coming up into the esophigus. sitting up is often the only answer. Consider getting of those sofa backs with the arms that looks like a chair without a seat and placeing it in the crib with her and sitting her up to sleep. Another point I see is the possibility of "mothers presence". Are you in the same room as her crib? Is she generally in the same room when in the bouncy seat or other devise? If so it is very possible that her sreaming is a result of her wanting you to take away the pain of the acid reflux and when you are not present, she feel unsafe and alone. This can actually manifest in a greater level of acid reflux as stress generates stomic acids. Aside from the couch back try placeing her crib in the same room as you are in. This willallow her to maintain at least some degree of comfort knowing you are present when she wakes.

Another possible solution to the acid itsself is to reduce the amount of milk, fruit juices, and other acid proiducing food sources from her diet. She is too young for medication so I am glad to see you are aware of this and have taken measures to avoid this solution. One possible source to INCREASE is unlevened breads, they contain no acid producing ingredients and absourb acids at the same time. prehaps a cracker or three half hour before bed will work. Patas are also a good solution. They have worked for me and many I have talked to that sufffer acid reflux. Its worth a shot

Good luck

J.,

I feel your pain. My oldest Daughter was the pretty much the same way. The only way I made it thru it was holding her while she slept. Even at night. She would sleep with my husband and me, right next to me. I was a new mom and had no clue what to do. Nothing would work. I did what I had to do to get sleep and keep myself from going out of my mind. Once we were outside or out and about shopping she was just fine. It was only bedtime, nap time she would just going crazy. She would cry and cry all night unless I was holding her. I say do whatever it takes to help her and yourself.
As she gets older it will get better. Hope this helps.
M.

J.,

As a nurse I urge you to speak to your pediatrician about this. It is possible she still has acid reflux that you cannot see. She could be damaging her esophagus or have inflammation on the lower part of her esophagas. Either of which requires attention from a medical professional. Crying that long and not sleeping isn't normal or healthy for the baby.

Good luck and I pray you take this seriously,

sincerely,

local nurse

hi, it seems you need to speak to a pediatricain about this problem....if allowing the baby to cry on a regular basis,knowing of course that nothing is wrong with your baby...and as mothers we can tell the difference between a baby's spoiled cry or the cry that something is really wrong cry...again i say if baby has been feed and changed, and it is either nape time or bed time,then i would suggest first to allow the baby to cry...old habits even with babies are hard to break...remember it took awhile for your baby to get use the first method of sleeping and i'm sure it will take equally as long to get use to another way...hang in there....if that fails see your pediatrician....

I created my own monster, 10 years ago, when i had a 30 week preemie, then they encouraged co-sleeping, well i am still co-sleeping, do yourself and your daughter a favor, and i mean this sincerely, let her cry it out, your not giving her enough time to "get it", and for the colic, my daughter drove me bonkers, i gave her alittle bit of mylacon drops, it helped her tremendously, administered prior to feedings, good luck. Do the right thing for all of you, let her cry. its you that it is driving crazy, she will be fine.....

Hey hun,
Well, I am a 37 yrs SAHM of four great kids and my youngest at acid reflux when he was an infant but we ended up going with the meds after all else failed. We too did the swing, the car seat, etc. and since she is only 12 wks old, my advice is DO WHAT WORKS. If she isn't comfortable in the crib yet, then let her be. But eventually I know you will want to get her in her crib so my suggestions are two things . . . I am not a mom that believes in letting them cry it out - that only makes everyone frustrated beyond belief. Let her play in her crib, be with her more and more each day in her crib letting her know that it's OK to be in there. LOL. I also came across a neat little thing that you can attach to the crib and it will "rock" the crib. It's been a long time since my guys were little - the twins are now 8 so bare with me. But it seems to me that there was a gadget that you could attach to the crib and it would softly "rock" it. Perhaps she has gotten used to the rocking motion to fall asleep too or perhaps just the "snug" feeling of the swing and the car seat. If you have a Pack N Play or smaller play pen perhaps try letting her sleep in that. I was really lucky when it came to my kids when they were little, really didn't have too many issues but have had plenty of friends who did. Hope it helps. My last tid bit of advice is simply - don't give up and keep trying things til you find what works and be patient. As much as it feels like it will never end and she'll never sleep in her crib, she will. Hang in there. Good luck and god bless. Reeny

Hi J.. My son was the same way. He would only sleep in his bouncy chair and/or swing. I started transitioning him to a bassinet with some soothing sounds and that seemed to work better. I think the crib seemed to big for him. At 3 months I didn't let him CIO either. I didn't start that until after 9 months. He also cried every evening from 5:30 -8 pm. It was horrible. I ended up buying a baby sling and would just wear him around the house, while making dinner, taking walks, etc. and it was much better! He is 13 months old and I still use the sling. I purchased it at www.slinglings.com and it was a lifesaver. I have bought one for all of my friends that have had kids after me.

As for the crib, I transitioned my son to his crib around 6 months for naps. I started out by putting his bassinet in his room next to the crib. Then moved him to the crib. Then after he was okay with naps I put him to bed in there. I hope this helps.

I'm moving to Bridgeport in March so I don't know anyone yet. I wish you luck finding something that works for you and your daughter.

Try buying a "Swaddle me" blanket. They make them in size large which would likely fit your 12 week old. This blanket made all the difference in the world for my daughter. She'll sleep anywhere now!

This sounds pretty normal to me I have 3 kids and none of them would sleep in their cribs until they were between 6-8 months. After a few sessions of crying it out they slept in there cribs okay but before that I spent all night trying to get them to sleep and then lay them down only to have them wake up as soon as they hit the matress. My first two were also very colicky so I was desperate to get them to sleep. I say do what works for now you can worry about getiing them into a routine of sleeping in the crib when they get a little older, it will get easier around 6-8 months. Don't feel bad I don't know anyone who hasn't had this problem and have either co-slept or used a swing in the beggining. I have a 5 month old who is still sleeping in the swing. Hope this helps.

Are you breastfeeding your daughter? When my daughter (now 20 months) was around that age I had the same problem. I later found out that she couldn't digest the milk that I was drinking when I breastfed her. I ended up cutting the dairy from my diet and it helped. Also, if you maybe spent more time in your daughters room to get her use to it or even try co-sleeping for a while until your daughter is a little bit older. They love to have their mom close to them and they feel secure when your around. I know what you are going through, my daughter was so colicky and you feel so bad because you don't know what to do to make them feel better. Best of luck to you. You'll get through it just have paitence.

crying it out is not reccommend for babies under 4to6 months.
Theres a bed for babies with colic. Its quit pricy and I think its called the "amby?" try a google search or maybe someone else on here will know.
Also, did you read the book "the Happiest Baby on the Block"?

My son would not sleep in the crib or bassinet either. He didn't have reflux issues, just didn't like laying flat. We tried everything, positioners, proping up etc - nothing really helped. I talked with the Ped. and he said to relax about it and let him sleep where he was comfortable & he'd come around the the bassinet. So, for about 2-3 months he slept in the swing, carseat - I called it the bucket, and bouncy seat - then one day he was fine in the bassinet.

The Ped. told me to help him get used to laying flat, since that is a new position that he isn't familiar with yet. I continued to play with him while laying him on his back on a comfy blanket and once in a while tried laying him down to sleep. I'd pick him up instead of "crying it out" that didn't work for me (1st time Mom) either. Just like the Ped said, one day he had gotten used to the new position & wimpered a bit and went to sleep. Good Luck!

I wouldnt stress about the crib. Is she sleeping ok with the other alternatives ( bouncy seat) She is still soo little, but when my daughter was that age she started to favor sides (neck) because she was sleeping in bouncy seat and her head would slup. Just make sure she has support. You have enough to worry about with the colick.
You both need sleep however you get it. Good Luck.

I have the same problem. My daugher is 9 weeks and only sleeps in her swing. My daughter also has reflux and has slept in a somewhat upright position so far. It is getting much better, so I wanted to start putting her in her crib. But she hates it! I have started by trying to get her to take naps in it, but she wakes up as soon as I put her down or sleeps for only a short time. I am taking her to the pediatrician tomorrow and am going to ask him what I should do. I will let you know if I get any good advice!

My daugher is also very fussy and crys alot from about 6-8 sometimes 9:00. I found that she is just very tired by this time of night, but fights going to sleep. So I rock her and let her head jiggle a little while rocking her I also shhh close to her ear. These two things seem to calm her almost instantly, but I do that until she falls asleep. Sometimes it takes a while, but it stops her from crying. I would recomend watching the video "the happiest baby on the block." You may already know alot of these soothing techniques, but if not, I would watch it. As a new mom it really taught me a lot of different soothing methods that I use every day on my baby.

Good Luck!

Dear J.,

I feel for you! We had a similar experience with my daughter, who is now almost 7. She had acid-reflux, colic, and was a very bad sleeper. We also could not let her "cry it out." I now have a son who is totally different - all of the advice works on him, when none of it worked on my daughter, so I can see that some babies really have a hard time with sleep. My advice would be to do whatever works and don't feel like you are a bad parent for it.

We eventually gave in and let my daughter sleep in bed with us [does this work for your daughter?], and, despite that, my daughter was sleeping through the night, in her crib, by the time she was 8 months old. [We used a little "cosleeper" contraption between us that separated her from us enough that we were not terrified of rolling over on her]. We kept working on getting her into the crib, and eventually it clicked [though there were some howling nights]. It seemed to me like she just needed her nervous system to calm down, and once that happened, she slept a lot better and we could try some of the techniques mentioned by the experts.

However, I should note that she has always been a difficult sleeper - probably because of her early discomfort - and has been sleeping in and out of our bed for years now. While I am ready for her finally to move back into her own bed, I also realize that time with her is so short - I can't believe she's already 7! - and one day I'll have my bed to myself forever. Looking back I realize she always needed extra assurance and never felt as comfortable in her body or on her own as my son now does. I fretted so much about doing the "right thing" (according to the books) when she was a baby, and now I see that the best thing we could do was respond to her needs in ways that worked for us as a family. Pushing against her comfort level just made everything worse. I hope this is of some help! Good luck - and this will get easier over time!!

Hi J.,
I just signed up for this site. You are my first contact. I too, had a colicky little one. He cried from 4pm when he woke up from his nap until 10pm almost every night. Right during my busiest part of the day for my other kids. He is now 13 years old!! I put him in the seat in his crib for safety sake. He had acid reflux too. He didn't spit up, he was comfortable, he was somewhat happier. He just slept better. And sometimes him sleeping was more important than how I 'thought' he should be sleeping.(laying down) If the baby is comfortable and safe, it's OK. You need your peace of mind too!! It makes you a good mom. This was my 6th kid. We joke that if he had been the first, he'd have been an only child. Good luck. Don't give up hope. Trust your insticts. Not all babies have to fit a certain 'mold'. Do what is right for YOUR baby and you'll both be just fine.

R.

Hey J.. Rest assured that you are not alone. I slept on our couch, propped up on pillows with my daughter sleeping on my chest for like two months before I could lay her flat. She also cried furiously from 6-9 every night (sometimes longer). She is now a happy 4 year old who sleeps through the night in her own bed.
Have you ever thought about cosleeping? It was a life saver for me. My daughter slept so soundly knowing I was there next to her and this actually turned out to be great bonding time for us. Sometimes some babies just need more than others. Also, why don't you want her to nap in her swing or carseat anymore? If you need a break and she'll sleep there, why not let her? I know lots of moms who have done that and their babies transition fine.
One last thing. If you are curious to read about cosleeping, might I suggest the website for Dr Sears, www.askdrsears.com (this is a great website to have handy anyway...he has such helpful info like med dosing, advice, and great straight forward info about things) and a book called "the no cry sleep solution" which is basically a baby sensitive method for getting baby to sleep
and remember through it all, this will pass.
good luck

J.,
I have been where you are. I am the mother of a 16 mo boy who still fights sleep, but is much better now than he was. My son was tightly swaddled until at least 5 mos b/c he was so difficult to soothe. His nervous system was and is very sensitive. The best method my husband and I have found was the DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. The methods helped greatly, though he was still a fussy baby until about 6 mos. He also had reflux that required medicine- we discontinued that at 4 mos. You are in the hardest time right now. It does get better. I do not think the Ferber method works so well under 6 mos.

If your baby only sleeps in places other than her crib- then maybe you should let her as long as she fits in those places so you can get rest too.

I also relate to you personally as I am a pediatrician in Philly. I am also "new" to PA and have had a hard time making friends b/c of my schedule. Good luck with the sleeping!

J.-My daughter is now 2.5 and she was the exact same way! In fact it sounds like you are describing her! This will pass at around 4 months. i would suggest medicating her with previcid or what your doctor recommends as it does help and you will see a difference. Just keep doing what you are doing and if she only sleeps in car seat or bouncie-let her. their where nights where my daughter would spend the whole night in her car seat and she is a great sleeper now. You can try "cry it out" at about 5 months during the nap time and then work to the bedtime. Keep swaddling if she likes it too-that usually works. It will get better and before you know she will be in a big girl bed!

When my dd was a baby, I was sure I was going to have to buy a huge swing when she grew up, because that was the only way she would sleep! It was either that or the car seat. I would actually put her and the car seat in her crib! She was probably 9 or 10 months old when she finally started sleeping in the crib. But the fact is, she did, so hang in there, and do whatever it takes for you both to get some sleep.

hi! this brings back memories! my daughter was exactly the same way. if she wasn't in her carseat, she was living on mylicon drops. what finally worked for me was letting her sleep in her boppy in her crib. i know they don't advise that but i was worried that spending so much time in her carseat was not good for her back. worked for me. good luck!

Well, you've gotten a lot of responses but I wanted to put my thoughts out there for you as well. Your situation sounds very similar to my first DS. Questions I would ask are: Are you sure it's not the reflux bothering her still? Have you tried a Tucker sling with wedge (crazy contraption but more elevation than a "sleep positioner")? Have you thought about food allergies? Does she have an ezcema? Persistent diaper rashes? Constipation/diarrhea? Frequent colds/ear infections? Do you or your husband have any allergies/intolerances? I ask all this because our DS was 100% better when I went on an elimination diet (I was breastfeeding) and found which foods were bothering him. He slept normal and anywhere after that! (well, almost normal:) If you don't suspect any allergies/intolerances I would get her to the ped to reevaluate the reflux (mine was being significantly underdosed on Prevacid) and possibly a GI consult. In my opinion, we don't do enough for "colic." These are hurting babies and we're told to just deal with it until they grow out of it... boggles my mind. I hope this helps a little bit. Good luck.

Hi J. - Hopefully your daughter will outgrow this when the colic subsides some. My son was born right around thanksgiving and I swear that as a result of being around so many relatives right away, he hated to be put down. He would sleep soundly up against my chest and the moment I laid him down, he would wake up screaming. Eventually I figured out that he was a belly sleeper. His dr. initially had a fit until she saw his head control. I wouldn't move him out of our room since I was fearful of SIDs but now at 3 months, he is in his own room sleeping through the night on his belly. He is a pacifier kid though. If he spits his pacifier out while sleeping and awakes, he cries until I go put it back in his mouth. These option aren't for everybody but they worked for us. We also have an incline sleep positioner that my son uses while napping. He will nap on his back. Have you tried an incline sleeper? They sell them at Babies R Us.

Have you tried using white noise in her room? I know that there is a CD called For Crying Out Loud that one of my friends that had 2 colicky babies swore by. Maybe also a bath or baby massages might help some. I am just thinking out loud. Hope this helps some.

J.

I think you should see your doctor about the acid reflux and demand to go to a GI specialist. Sounds like you may need to treat that more aggressively. It is not normal for a baby to cry all of the time. My daughter had reflux and it was not until we got to a specialist where we really figured out how to treat and get my little one some relief. Due to the damage already caused, it took some time to get her feeling better so don't wait.

As I read your story, I got sick in my stomach thinking how my little one suffered thru that too. Definitely get some help. Hopefully in the end, you both will be sleeping better for it. Good luck.

The thing that seemed to help my son was a sleep positioner. I got it at Babies R Us. I'm sure some expert will tell me it was horrible and worthless, but it worked for me so that's all I care about! It was a sleep wedge, but it also had these two foam triangular barriers that velcroed on the sides. I think the thing that helped was that the triangle barriers on the sides made him feel like he had something holding him in place. He hated swaddling, but I had some dumb idea that he felt "lost" in his big crib. Once he started wiggling out of the positioner, we got rid of it.

That said, in my mind - what ever you find that works, go with it. You all need your sleep. I always tell my husband that we can worry about breaking bad habits later.

I'm writing, not because I have a magical cure, but because I had the same problem with my son. My son had (still has) reflux issues and was very colicky because of it. Napping anywhere outside of the swing or bouncer was unheard of, and the crib was absolutely out of the question for him. I tried everything you've tried and nothing worked for me, either! My husband works third shift, so the nights are all on me. I was so incredibly exhausted! One night, I gave in--I wedged my queen-sized bed so that it was elevated (and my son wouldn't have any reflux issues), and I put my son in bed with me. He's been sleeping there every night since...but, at least, he's been sleeping, and so have I. He's almost six months old now. He's still not sleeping all the way through the night, and I came back to work full-time just under two months ago. I figured that, since I need as much sleep as I can get in order to get through my day at work, it was easier for both of us if he just stayed in bed with me. Maybe that's wrong. But, it's working just fine for us. I guess, at some point, I'll have to fight with him again to get him to sleep in his crib. But, I think I'll wait until he's sleeping all the way through the night before I even attempt that... I'm sorry that I don't have a cure for you. I just wanted to let you know that I understand exactly how frustrated you are. Hang in there!!

You might try having her just play in the crib more often. When we moved our twins from infant car seat to cribs, I recall it took some time. We did a lot of playing in there, though, during the day and that seemed to get them used to the feeling of the room and the mattress. A good mobile always helps to lighten the moods, too -- like Tiny Love's Symphony in Motion. I can't recommend that enough.

Otherwise, I would just keep picking her back up when she cries and then putting her back down over and over until she gets that that is the place she needs to sleep. I think the Baby Whisperer recommends this technique for getting them to sleep, which could be the same issue for you.

Also, does she have reflux? That could be an issue. Good luck!

I ran into a very similar problem with my son (now 7 months): the reflux, the gas waking him up, the swaddling, the wedge...He is fine in his crib now, but it was a LONG road to get there. Unfortunately, crying it out was the only way we got it to work...but it was two weeks of crying it out. It was awful. I got a videomonitor so at least I could see that he was OK, but it was still bad. Your daughter might be a little too young for that, I don't know. It might not work if she is still colicky. It didn't for my son - we had to try again when he was 5 months old. Here's what we did (on our pediatrician's recommendation): we put him to bed early, by 6pm, while he was still awake. And we let him cry until he went to sleep (did I mention it was torture?). After that, when he would wake up in the night we would go in if he cried for a while (find an amount of time you are comfortable with), plus for 2 feedings. We did that for 2 weeks, and finally got to a point where he would consistently sleep in his crib. However, I balanced it out by doing whatever it took to get him to nap in the day - in the car, bouncy seat, in bed with me, etc. If she doesn't nap in the daytime and doesn't sleep at night, it will only get worse (as you know). Also, I'm not sure how active you are during the day but at about this age I found that I had to cut out some mom group stuff to focus on getting him on a (napping) schedule. Here's the thing that comforted me when I let him cry it out: you have tried everything else. You tried putting her down asleep, you have tried swadling, propping, etc. You will have to remind yourself of that many, many times. In fact, even while we were letting him cry it out I would still search book after book for any other option that might work. But once you start the crying it out, you need to stick with it. So, I can tell you that it will get better but it might take a while. At about 6 months, we reached a point where I could put my son to bed while he was awake, he would fall asleep without crying, and do the same for his 2 naps (the naps took a little longer). Good luck! I recommend getting a sitter 1-2x a week to get away from it for a few hours, as it can be extremely stressful.

try sleeping with her Co-sleeping is a wonderful thing and is the best for a young baby. Why people think a tiny newborn baby wants to be by themselves is besides me. Try sleeping her in your bed with pillows around her so she doesn't roll off. You can lay with her and breast feed her to sleep and once she is asleep you can leave and she will sleep peacefully in bed.

Hello, I'm a 31 year-old NICU nurse and mom to a beautiful 13th month-old who had the same problem. She had colic until after I returned to work 12 weeks post-partum, crying for about 5 to 6 hours each evening. She slept in her bouncy seat, until about 4 months of age (I was lucky that she was a small baby. She was swaddled until she no longer slept in a bouncy. Then we moved on to the bassinet, which I think that she liked because there was not a huge space. After the bassinet the pack-n-play and then the crib. It will get better, I promise! The colic goes away and the reflux and all you have to do is get them to sleep through the night, which mind didn't do until after her first birthday. I have one other question, are you nursing or bottle feeding? There are afew other suggestions I would have based on the answer. Hope this helps!

My first daughter slept in a swing or carseat for all of her naps through her first birthday through a mix of "that's how our schedule worked" (hubby was on his way to work, taking her to his parents house right when she needed to nap in the early afternoon--he worked 3-11), and "that's what works" (the swing--she loved it!).

She transitioned fairly easily out of the swing shortly after she turned 1.

She's 9 years old now, and doesn't seem any worse for the wear...so really, I wouldn't fight the issue.

We did co-sleep at night, just because that was how everyone in the family got the best sleep It wasn't in our "plans" when she was born--but when she was about 12 weeks old and we moved her out of her bassinet I was needing to get up once per night to nurse her, and turned into a zombie in a week. Hubby asked "why did we move her out of our room?" and thus began cosleeping. We did it for all 4 kids until they were about a year old.

Hi J., My son is almost six months and he would not sleep in his crib until he was about 4 mos.

I'll just offer a few suggestions that I tried...

When he was active and it was playtime, we went upstairs to play in the crib so he could kick. I was there talking to him, the lights were on and I would have a mobile or his fishy aquarium on.

We did that for a month and he was able to stay in his crib longer and longer.

B/c he tended to have reflux, I put a rolled up towel UNDER his matress so it is slightly elevated.

Once he started to tolerate the crib, we would spend twenty minutes before bedtime in his room, with the lights dim and relax, read a book, etc. Then one night I put him in there and he fell right to sleep. It's not that easy every night, but if you give your daughter time, keep trying and be supportive, when she's ready, she'll be able to sleep there. Oh, and for my son Bobby, white noise helped. We had to use the sounds of ocean waves the first few weeks to get him to relax to sleep.
Good Luck.
K.