Wondering How Other Stay at Home Mothers Came to Their Decision

Hi F.! This a hard decision for some woman, I agree. It is an easy one and a hard one. I based my decision on the fact that I could not see see trading my time with my kids, or having to work just to play for child care. These first years go unbelievably fast and they are gone in an instant it seems. My husband an I sacrifice many of the extras so I can stay at home and I know what my children are doing all day and so I can experience it with them. It is tough to be a family of four with two pets, a house and two cars, but we do it because that is what we want. I applaud your decision and I am finding that there are many woman these days choosing to stay at home to raise their kids. It is not an easy job and I have a hard time with women who work and think that staying home is the easy lazy way out. I don;t come across too many of them thank goodness, but I am proud of my decision and so you should be as well! K. : VT stay at home mom of two girls ages 4 and 22mos with a home based business

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Try the book called The Mommy Tax.

I think that feminism is about being able to make choices--including the choice to stay at home. We have to remember though, that this choice connotates a certain privilege...not all moms have the "luxury" to make this choice and must seek work outside the house.

For me, I am trying to achieve a balance between working half-time to keep my career moving forward and staying at home. I have a babysitter come to the house so that I can work in my office upstairs. It is great, and we share the sitter with one other family, so we can keep our costs down. And I take frequent breaks to direct my babysitter and cuddle/nurse with my 22month old. He is very independent thanks to this situation but also affectionate with me.

I feel as if I am a better mother by being able to work part-time. I come to my babe refreshed and with a higher level of attention than I do when I'm with him for weeks on end. I feel intellectually satisfied and confident while earning money. For me, this is the ideal balance.

Thanks for this interesting query!

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I applaud you, my dear, for taking the honorable road. I am 51 and at 50 decided to retire from the workforce after 34 years (starting at age 16). It was an easy decision. I have a happy, 2 year old adopted toddler who is very active. I wanted to give him a fair start in life as my mother stayed at home until we were in school. I feel I am a better person for it. Nothing compares to the one on one attention children need. We keep busy with daily activities and love to run and swim outdoors.
I do not doubt the salary of a SAHM. I power wash the house, take care of the pool, trim the shrubbery, plant flowers, stain deck chairs, put up outdoor Christmas lights as well as decorate the inside for the holidays, tend to all the inside chores and cook for my son.
I am in a MOMs club so we have time to ourselves at least once a month. We take our son with us everywhere and are a close knit family. I am fortunate that my husband works hard for us and shares in caring for our son by cooking when he has time, bathing, changing diapers and taking him on errands. We have family nearby so we visit them often. I exercise to stay energetic and healthy. I am up very early and take afternoon naps when my body needs to rest. We thank God for our blessings.

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I am 33 and have two children - a two and a half year old, a one and a half year old and one on the way. I stay at home simply because it is the best choice for my kids. (i hope this doesn't offend anyone) but i feel that no matter how good the daycare is they simply cannot provide the love and individual attention that i can provide. It's really hard to describe how I feel w/o offending all the working mom's out there.

When people told me that this was the hardest job i would ever love i thought they were nuts. But it is so true. I get bored and frustrated and.. all those emotions in between. But when i see my kids and see how one takes care of the other and how they both say thank you and Good job! to each other, i know i made the right choice.

Money is also tight -- and getting tighter. The stress of this also weighs heavily on me. I never thought we could be squeezed this much and actually survive.

But, truth be told, i wouldn't give up this time with the kids for anything in the world.

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I have a 7 month old beautiful daughter. I just graduated college 2 years ago and married my husband right after graduating. I graduated with a degree in elementary education and I ended up getting pregnant before finding a full time job. I had worked at two day cares throughout college and I knew what my daugher would go through if I put her in a day care. I just couldn't imagine paying someone else to raise my baby girl while I was working. Throughout my pregnancy my husband and I went back and forth about going back to work. I knew the extra money would help, especially when we were planning on buying a house. But at the same time I just knew I wouldn't be happy. Everytime my husband and I talked about day cares I would cry because I didn't want my child to be in an unfamiliar environment scared. Before getting married I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. My mom was a stay at home mom and I can't imagine coming home from school and my mom not being there. My mom was also very involved in our school. I want to be able to do the same with my kids. I want to be a room mom or volunteer to go on field trips with my kids. Towards the end of my pregnancy my husband and I finally decided that I would stay at home. I was so happy and my mind was at ease knowing I wouldn't have to take her to day care. Everyone always told me that if we could afford it, to stay at home. I am so lucky to be able to stay at home and be financially stable at the age of 25. I appreciate my husband having a good job which allows me to be with my child. Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job, but it's worth it. I love being a mom and I can't imagine missing all my little girls firsts.

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Hi F.,

Last Feb. I found out I was prego, in March I found out I was having twins. From that very first ultrasound on there was never any question about being a SAHM. The decision was done when God gave me two babies to raise. Sometimes it's that simple. --It helped that I am a "career first" woman before becoming a mom so all my ducks were already in a row first but if you trust your instincts and your abilities the rest is simple. My twins turned 9 months yesterday and they are walking.
You can do it too.
Congratulations on your adoption.
L.

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Hi F.,

My husband and I made the decision together and for us it was a financial one... as a teacher my salary just wasn't worth it to go back to work with two small children (they were 21 months apart). Once you take taxes out, retirement, health insurance, and daycare, I would essentially be taking home about $2,000 a year.

My other concern is that I am kind of a perfectionist- I don't feel that I can give my students 110% as well as my family. I like being able to go into my kids classes and volunteer once a week, being involved in their PTO and help coach soccer. I have gotten to know their friend's families, teachers and the community. Sure, the extra money of working would be nice, but I feel that I gain so much from being home with the kids- I feel like I get to share their lives (not just from 5pm until bedtime), but all day...

Some people HAVE to work and some people WANT to work... I do work from home and own a company, but I chose my hours- it is definitely a luxury...

Best wishes- just remember that whatever you decide is what is best for you...

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Hi F.,
I was a corporate manager for twenty years when I gave up my job and an excellent salary. Like some of the other mom's who replied to your question, my husband and I had a budget "meeting" to determine whether we could afford for me to quit work. The decision was precipitated by an ultrasound that found an ovarian cyst and it hit me that it could just have easily been a malignancy. I had waited a long time to have our children and was grateful to have them (at age 39 & 41). My husband and I decided money would be tight but that these years couldn't be replaced. We didn't want someone else raising our children if we could manage without my salary. Looking back (I am 52 and my kids are now 11 & 13) it was the BEST decision I ever made. I've just completed treatments for breast cancer and I've had the daily reminder that time is so precious. Our children grow up so fast that IF you want to be a stay at home parent AND you can still live a reasonable life (perhaps without frills but comfortable)I couldn't recommend it more strongly. Yes, it's the HARDEST job I ever did (I once had 18 employees work for me) but the best job. Last comment: sometimes when my kids complain that we don't go on vacations or we can't buy expensive toys I offer THEM the choice; I can go back to work and we'd have 3-4 weeks TOPS together to vacation, but I wouldn't be available to volunteer at their school or be involved in Girl Scouts and other school and social activities, and I wouldn't be home when they get off the bus from school. When I give them those choices they ALWAYS choose a mom at home rather than a corporate mom who doesn't have time for their kids.

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I am a young mother and after my first daughter was born, my whole world changed. I hated having to leave her to go to work. At first she was watched by family but when that had to end I had no other choice but to put her in day care as I was her sole provider at the time. Day care went OK for a while and then it turned out that things were going on that I did not agree with. I stayed at home for a while with her but had to go back to work to afford things. I went back to school during the time that I was away from work and got my license as a nail tech, a job I thoroughly enjoyed, but I still yearned to be home with my child. My now husband had received a raise at work and I took my opportunity which was 2 1/2 years ago and since have had another child. I think it's the most challenging but rewarding things I have ever done in my life and I would not give it up for the world. Many people may be envious because we are able to stay at home but what most need to know is that with this economy the way it is, it's a constant struggle. However I am very grateful for how hard working my husband is because it is him that allows me to be home with my girls. I always tell people when they ask what I do for work, that I have a job, I just don't get paid for it and it's a 7 day a week 24/7 job. :) I eventually will have to get out into the work field, it's scary to me, but nothing could replace the time that I have had with my girls and again, I wouldn't give it up for anything.

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F.
congratulation on your adoptions!!
a few years ago i turned 40, got pnumonia (SP) and got layed off from a great, high paying job... i was devestated
3 months later DSS dropped off a beautiful infant boy whom we have adopted
i have stayed at home ever since!!!!
my oldest was 9 at the time and he told me the best thing ever was him coming home from school and smelling fresh baked cookies
i have a graduate degree in social work and i wouldn't trade being at home with my kids for all the tea in China
consider this part of your life as your gift to the future and enjoy every moment
best
I.

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I could only DREAM of being a SAHM. I would say, do it and be proud of it! I have a very successful girl friend who has her masters and everything but her lifelong goal is to be a SAHM and housewife! She boasts about it all the time. Not sure where/how that salary comes about withou a second income contributing but I know there are plenty of home-based businesses that can be quite lucritive. Good luck and I hope you make the right decision. If you want, see about part-time. That too, would be a dream for me!!

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I had decided long before having chilren that I wanted to be the one to raise and influence my them and not leave it up to someone esle to do. My husband and I have made many sacrifices to make this all work for our family. 6 years ago instead of buying a house we bought an apartment building so that we would have extra income coming in when I stopped working.We bought our house 30 miles away from the town I grew up in and the place that I would really like to live because the cost of real estate is SOOO differnet up here. We are both driving car with lots of miles on them, but are paid off. I LOVED my job, so much that I work up until the day I was sent to the hospital ( a week after my due date)....however the love that I have now for my job does not compare. I couldn't imagine leaving my little guy every day to go off to work. Do I wish I had a new car, yup but mine gets me where I need to be. Do I wish we lived closer to the town I really want to live in, yup but the drive down isn't so bad..it gives us time to sing in the car together. Do I wish I had a bigger house, yup it's amasing how much stuff these little people need. Do I wish that I was back doing the job that I loved, only when no matter what you do the crying won't stop and only for a minute do I wish I was there. Would I give up everything that I have now to have all those things NO WAY!!!! Is this the hardest job I've ever done absolutely, am I glad that its me doing it absolutely.

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I am a mom, but my first baby is not born yet! So I can't speak from experience but I would like to share some things that influence our decision on me staying home once the baby is born. I am 24 years old, I graduated with my BS in Interior Design and currently work at an Architectural firm. The pay is not the best, but reasonable considering it is not a job in downtown (where I know I would be getting paid more, but my job would never be as flexible and commute would be a nightmare). I know I am very lucky to have my job, the boss is very family oriented, when I shared the news of my pregnancy and asked if I can work less hours and change my schedule, he agreed. Right now I work two days at the office and 3 days from home (remote desktop) for a total of 32 hours a week. It has been a tremendous help to me because I am underweight and I am trying to gain in order to deliver a healthy baby, being home enables me to cook and eat more often.

I realize that staying at home with children is the hardest job I will ever undertake, especially because we want to home school in the future. But my husband and I have discussed it and seems pretty obvious to us that we want to raise our own children, no matter how tight it gets financially. From the experience with my sister who just gave birth to her third baby boy, I also do not want to leave the child with relatives (i.e. my mother). Don't take me wrong, my mom is great, she stayed at home with me when I was a child and I cannot thank her enough, it was the best time of my life! She influenced me in so many ways, from my love for art/architecture, to music, and math skills. But that was MY mother, I want my children to have a chance at the same. My sister has been leaving her children with my mother very often, several times a week - even though she is a SAHM, and I see the confusion the children face when the people that raise them cannot agree on how to raise them, what to allow them or not, or how to punish them. Needless to say, the kids are all over the board when it comes to behavior and social skills. I really believe it is the job of the parents to raise their kids. I think in general the problem with children today is that they are raised by society, not by parents, and society today is governed by media, kids don't see the difference between TV and reality any longer (just listen to what they talk about). Most children and parents don't even know each other, especially at middle school level and up, because the parents are busy providing. But like many people have already mentioned in this forum, the children would much rather have their parents with them than an abundance of toys and vacations at the Caribbean. They can't always say it, but they really need your guidance, support, and time. It is really hard to give that to them if you have a full time job. Of course, in this economy not everyone can afford to SAH, frankly neither can I - but we have different values and we realize how important our future children are to us. In my opinion, not to impose on anyone, but I think the best balance is being a SAHM yet having a part time job where you can work from home, at least when the children are older at school age.

When you make your decision, also consider the money you would spend on daycare and driving there, subtract it from what you would earn, and I think the rest will speak for itself.

Excuse me for being not so frank with my long posting!

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The decision of becoming a SAHM was the easiest decision I've ever made, when my son was born 8years ago. I cried everyday I had to leave him and go to work, this lasted 3 weeks and I quit work, since that day we have done other things to have additional income, I have worked nights, (which was hard on the DH relationship) and now I work from home. I have my own Daycare business. I now have 2 kids, 8 & 5 and would not change one of my days being home with them for all the money in the world. They are my pride and joy and I could never imagine someone else telling me or seeing MY childs firsts.

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Hi, F.. It was an easy decision for me because I didn't love my job enough to keep me away from my children. We could really use a second income, but we have everything we need and we get by. Some days are a challenge but most are rewarding and I love being here with my kids!

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While I was pregnant almost three years ago I thought I would go back to work while my mom watched the baby. After she was born the bond felt so strong between us that I knew there was no way I would return. My husband and I figured out we could make it on his salary. Once I gave word that I was not returning to work I felt a weight was lifted from me and I never regretted the decision. When my daughter was 3 months old I became an Avon representative. This allowed me to get out of the house occasionally and my mom still watches her while I prepare orders and make deliveries. I am now a Unit Leader of a group of 9 and have a great group of customers. What started out as a hobby is becoming a career. And I am still at home with my daughter. Every day when I see her smile I know I made the right decision.

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I always new ever since I was little that I wanted to be a mommy & that would be my job! However I would wait until I was married for a year or 2 before starting a family & so I would have to work up until then.
I had some what of a career because like I said I would have to work to support myself until I got married & even after I was married until we had a baby.
So when I did get married my husband asked me will you be a stay at home mom or put our baby in a daycare. I told him I do not want someone else raising my children & it has always been a dream of mine to stay at home with them. He was relieved because even though financially it would be hard he agreed with me! Kids should be raised by their parents not day cares if at all possible. But he would support my decision either way. Plus I was laid off a few months before I got pregnant anyway. So I just got a little part time job for a little more than min. wage & worked up until the baby was due! We are very happy with our decision neither one of us regrets it one bit & my son is 19 months old & we have another on the way.

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Hi F.,
Being a SAHM is an honor and a privelidge! Always remember that your childrens memories are going to be with the fun things they did with family members, not the days they were left at daycare etc.
If you are yearning for something to do and continue to be a sahm consider doing a sah business where you choose when you want to work and how much money you want to make and just do it. I went from a corporate job of 70 hrs. a week and not seeing my children as a real sahm does to a wonderful home business called Arbonne where I am home, work approx. 100 hrs a month! doing home parties and speaking to people one on one about the products. I plan on being away 2 days or nights a week and utilize my telephone and email with my customer service. This became a healthy balance for me. I'm am being a real mom plus still making a pretty good income and don't have to worry about bills and the best part is I get to have that adult interaction and feel really good about myself and my contribution to life.
No matter what you do, make sure you can do it keeping your family in mind first.
If you're interested in getting some information on how my business works, let me know and I will send you some information on it. ____@____.com or ____@____.com
Moms are awesome people, be proud! L.

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When I got married I took my husband's last name because his son had a hyphenated name that included his birth mother's name. I wanted a name that connected all of us. When asked why, as a feminist, I didn't keep my last name I explained about having a common name with Ian and ended with FEMINISM IS ABOUT BEING ABLE TO CHOICE what is right for your situation. My mom didn't have choices, but I do.

With my first son (now 23 and married) I had to work for financial reasons. After years of infertility I found myself pregnant at 41. My husband vowed to do whatever possible to let me stay home - but I wound up having to work two days a week, 5 months a year. Most of my friends are stay at home moms. Some worked at first, but most are now home knowing it works out better for their family. I love being home with my 3 year old - but also love working two days a week for part of the year.

Most of my friends at home (even part time) realize it is a gift to our children and to ourselves. My husband is very jealous that he is working and I am home. Having my second child later in life has given me a much different perspective - so what if I just finished graduate school and was only 3 years into a new career - I waited too long for this baby and I want to spend as much time as possible with him - I know first hand how fast children grown up and get move away. I avoid anyone who judges another person's decision to work or stay home - they don't know your story and it's none of their business. Celebrate your choice and enjoy it - forget everyone else!

I've seen the breakdown of a few versions of how much a SAHM should make and am not impressed at how they arrived at the number. Stats on the salary of of a stay at home parent are not very clear - as they are taken from Occupation Outlook (a gov't report on AVERAGE salaries across the country) and doesn't discern between professionals in para positions and para-professionals in prof positions. Few SAHMs are qualified to count the professional fields for all areas included in the salary figuring. Also, need to look realistically at how much time is spent on each task - and that many people perform these tasks whether or not they stay at home or are employed. Many employed parents perform the exact same tasks that SAHPs do. I question the motivation/issues of people who need to put a price tag on things.

Let's face it, employed outside the home or not, most parents do the best they can. There is no price tag one can put on parenting - it is a gift to be enjoyed.

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F.,
When I was pregnant I fought with the idea of being a SAHM thinking that if I had a rewardning job I would a more whole person to bring to my family. When my son was born that all changed. I didn't want to miss a moment! We have made it work. And I love it!

The school I used to work for has been amazingly supportive too. They have kept me on a couple projects as a consultant. They pay me hourly. I am just increasing my hours from about 5 hours a week to about 8 hours a week. It keeps my foot in the door and mind sharp. But doesn't take me away for the moments.

A good friend of mine is struggling with staying home with her almost 2 year old or continue with her high powered job. She feels like she is not puting he family first by working. But can't get enough perspective on her life because it is so busy to figure out another plan.

Thanks for starting this discussion!
-S.

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My husband and I figured it was cheaper for me to stay at home than to work, this was based on the kind of job I could get with my degree (a bachelors in Family Studies). I also feel that emotionally I can only focus on a few things at once, I also help care for my Mom, so I don't have near as much time as I thought I would staying home. But I am enjoying being with my child and raising him, my husband feels very happy about that also.

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Your post sounds so similar to all the thoughts that go through my head. I love staying home with my kids and am grateful that my husband's job is good enough that this is financially feasible for us.

I remember one day when my daughter was sick and had been fussy all day long. I was exhausted from being up with her the night before and was a bit envious of my husband in his quiet office. Then I realized, that if I were working times like this - when she was too sick for daycare - would be the main times I would miss work to spend with her. I would miss all the fun times we have together while my husband is away at work and would only be able to see her in the evening when she would be tired and on weekends when it seems like there are always other things going on. I love being there every day, seeing all of the "firsts". My mom stayed home my entire life, and even as a teenager I remember how nice it was to know that she was there if I needed her and looking back I really appreciate the home she created and maintained for my family.

As for salary, I don't know what research it's based on but this is a fun calculator for moms:

http://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard/htmls/mswl_momcente...

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Hi F.,

I've been staying home with my 3 girls (5, 2, and 9 mo) for 10 mos now. I am extremely suprised at how difficult this "new job" is, but I have to tell you, my husband and I have had some difficult times with our older ones, and daycare, that we are both glad that our youngest has been able to be with me for so long (I went to work after 12 weeks from both my older girls).

My staying home is also influenced by us being new to the East Coast, and not knowing anyone to leave our kids with, as well as not having a job ready for me when I want to go back. Sadly, I will have to begin looking for work soon, and I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, my oldest will begin school, but my two younger ones will have to begin daycare in a place with people that I'm not familiar with. On the other hand, I could never be a daycare provider, or stay at home with my kids all of the time. The East Coast is hugely different, in that I've never known so many SAHMs before. I know only 2 women that are professionals, and to me, that is strange and different. In the West Coast (CA), the tables were turned, in which I only knew 1 SAHM. Until these last 10 mos, I never knew the proper respect a SAHM deserved. All you SAHMs...wow! I've only been at this for a little while, and I never knew how hard it is. For me, SAHM is not something I can do. I am definitely convinced that the professional career is the right way for me to go, whether I can afford to stay home or not. I am extremely grateful, though, that I have been afforded the opportunity to even expreience what SAH is like. I suppose if I could really afford a decent living with my husband's salary, I might consider staying until my kids began school, but at the moment, that isn't an option. Either way, I find a better level of satisfaction in myself, when I am able to help provide for my family, thought my wonderful husband doesn't mind whatever I choose. I've been working, or helping to provide for my family ever since I was 5 (my family were farm workers), so work is the way for me, but I don't envy or thank badly of SAHMs. Kudos to all thos SAHMs who make it work!

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Hi F.,
First off, what a GREAT name...

I went to work in a factoryfresh out of high school. I was married shortly after that. Needless a couple of years later I had a bouncy baby boy. What a precious little boy he was. I spent all of my time with him and my husband.He would play patty cake, patty cake with me. He was learning so fast and growing just as fast.

When he was about 8 months old I went back to work. I had a wonderful sitter who came to my home, so I didn't have to take him out early for daycare. She kept him fed changed and clean...she was a joy to have. She even did household chores. I never came home to a dirty house.

One night I cam home from work as usual and we were playing patty cake .....he didn't know how to play it anymore! The sitter was GREAT but she was not MOM... I decided then and there that I was going to be the person who was going to raise my own children.

Needless to say we still need my income so I I "F." that I could do both...work from home and be the MAIN MOM.

That was 37 years ago. I have worked from home all of that time. My husband and I have always been the sole providers and parents and caregivers for our children. We have a Corrections Officer, a Teacher, and a Rancher. (He loved animals), They never tried drugs...were married before children...and are valued citizens of the community.

I was never sorry for my decision and working for myself was far better all the way around personall and financialy. Just have F. and you can do it too.....by the way we live debt free and have been for many years.... not rich in money but very rich in family.

I am a mentor and consultant I am listed in Member Perks as a working Mom. (and Grandmother of 7 now)my website is www.successbuiltfromhome.com.

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Hi F.. I stay at home during the day, and work a few hours at night and on Sundays. This was a hard decision - mostly for financial reasons, but with gas prices the way they are, and the cost of day care it just did not make all that much sense. Sure we would have a little bit more money, but a lot more hassle.
My LO was also colicky and I did not trust anyone else with her. Once she grew out of the colic she was a horrible napper, and again, I did not trust anyone else with her. An over protective mom I guess! If I could teach her to sleep somewhere else other than her crib, I might try daycare after she turns a year old, or hire a babysitter so I have more of a life! But for now, I am happy to make the sacrifices. She is such a joy.
Good luck!

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My choice was because of the cost of daycare. I was paying $300/week for my 2 boys and knew that I wanted to have a third at some point. I was a social worker and really didn't make enough to pay for the three of them at daycare. Basically I would be working to pay for daycare and that is it. So, I got lisenced to be a daycare provider, and now I stay home with my kids and take a couple part time kids. I always make sure I have one day off to spend just with my kiddos, it worked out great. Good luck!
I wish I made 140K

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Well, this is such a huge topic. There are extreme opinions for both staying at home and working.
I was once a Manager (full time). I became pregnant. My Husband and I did all the "math" and determined that it would be financially do-able to reduce my hours. I began job-sharing, 20 hours each week at home, after my first son was born. Huge pay cut, but I never missed one milestone. We did put our boys into daycare/preschool for two days each week because I wanted them to have a happy medium...they were mostly raised by Mommy, but had the socialization as well.
Last year, I lost my job (job elimination). I went right to the Center for Women & Enterprise (www.cweonline.org) and learned how to start up my own business from home. I could not ask for a better situation! I'm home for my boys; I am proud to own www.kidzcomfort.com and try to make sure my kids are always my priority.
Money has been tight, but most people are in the same boat...we make it work, but I have absolutely no regrets and am very happy that I saw my kids growing up in front of my eyes first hand.
Take care.
raelynn
http://www.kidzcomfort.com

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I love being at home with my boys. After I had Aaron I was a single mom for awhile so I had no choice but to go to work but I was also fortunate enough to have my younger sister and my parents around for babysitters. After I had Evan in April 07 I just couldnt bare to leave him w/ anyone not even for a few hours. He was a very stubborn baby and still is set in his ways for the longest time he wouldn't even take a bottle. Now when we were thinking about me returning to work we decided that between the cost of daycare and the gas and wear and tare on the car that it really isn't worth it. When Evan is old enough to start school I'm going to go back to school and finish my Nursing degree but for now my 2 little guys are plenty of work. They exhaust me to the point where I don't know how I would function at work. Before I had Evan I worked as a CNA which is a very physical and exhausting job and I can't imagine doing that now after a long day of running around with the boys. Its nice to hear about your decision to adopt. I think thats great!

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F.,

Congrats on your adoptions. You are a remarkable woman to open your heart and home to those children. I can't offer you my rational for being a SAHM because unfortunately I am not able to be one. I have the best possible alternative - our daughter is with my Mother when I work. Even though she is with my Mother(and building an irreplaceable bond with her), my heart aches when I have to leave her (even after a year and a half). I am sad because I don't get to see every smile or kiss away every tear. If I could, I would stay home just for those 2 simple reasons. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I too stay at home and work from home whenever I can(about 20-30 hrs/wk). My son is just 11 months and so my available work time is constantly changing. This decision was always what we wanted to do and we make the sacrifices with love and understanding that it is the best we can do for our son. I worked alot before he was born, 3 jobs (Flat Fee Real Estate from home {which is what I still do}, waitressing nights/weekends, office job 25 hrs per week) and my very understanding office job boss said this is a time that won't come again with my son, so if we can do it we should. So we did, so we are. No regrets.