Why Does My 5 YO Want Constant Playdates?

Well, I'm guessing because its dim and she enjoys it?
At the end of the day, YOU are the Mom and its up to you to be the gatekeeper of the play dates!
(15 kids? Oy! Even I wouldn't do that & we're the official "hang house"!)

My kids are 3 and 5 and they always want to go somewhere or have someone oever for dinner. I just tell them I'm too tired or that it's too much work (to constantly invite people for dinner, since that always includes parent's etc...) While the 3 year old fusses about it, the 5 year old usually understands.

She's extroverted and she's bored.

Two things:

1. Work on teaching her to entertain herself. An hour or two of reading, art, playing in the yard, whatever, on her own is healthy.

2. Invite less people to your mom's group. 15 kids is crazy unless you're at the park or outdoors.

Aw my kids are like that too.
And I am play date central.
My kids appreciate it.
And it so happens, that my daughter's friends ALL have little brothers, who are about my son's age. So if my daughter has a play date, then I get boys too, in the house, and everything compounds!
But its okay.
My kids are happy and they do appreciate it.

BUT, I also tell my kids "Mommy is not in the mood for a play date now..." and I tell them, when I am just too busy or too tired for it.
Or I tell them "Next week is better timing...."
Or, "I will check with the other Mommies... and let you know..." and they never nag me about it. They are always polite about their EAGERNESS to have more play dates.

You need to tell the child, if/when you can have more play dates.
or get your child in school, if she is not already.
BUT... YOU NEED TO TELL your daughter, that it is your decision. Not her's. And she must not NAG you about it.
If... you... are... tired... of... having... play dates... right now... TELL HER.
I am always honest with my kids about things.
I will even tell them "Mommy is busy/stressed/grumpy today... NO play dates. Next time." And they understand.

Tell your child.
She has to learn and understand these things.

AND limit... the amount of friends invited over.
I do that with my kids.
When one has a play date, the other sibling is having one too. Same day. Same time. Per MY.... preference.
And I tell my kids, that.
Clearly.

You need to respond to your daughter's play date requests, by being honest and frank, about it.
Just say no... Mommy is tired. NOT NOW.
I will let you know.
My kids are 6 and 10.

Are you talking about neighborhood kids or kids from school?

In our neighborhood we had lots of children for our daughter to play with, so it was not such a big deal..We all had the kids coming and going.. Our homes are so small, they usually played outside so the other kids and parents would join us.

But once school started, she did want some of her classmates to come for playdates.. That is when we would talk and plan for them. It was rare to just all of a sudden call someone over out of the blue. We usually had to make the arrangements so that they could also schedule it.

And for goodness sakes, be honest with your child. "We just had a lot of people over and I need a nap.. You can read quietly or play quietly in your room. "

15 kids is not a playdate, it is a nightmare!

No need to snap, but you need to put limits on it. We've never had more than 4 other kids come to our home for a play date. We usually limit them to 1 or 2 other kids.

It's normal. Children want to play with other children. Invite one friend at a time, not 15. Hopefully her playdates will be reciprical, so for every time you host you also get some time off. I always found it easier having a friend over for my kids to play with. I didn't feel like I had to plan an activity or an outing, my kids weren't bored and they weren't vegging in front of the tv. Obviously the kids who are well behaved and the ones whose parents reciprocate get invited for playdates more often.

Some people are just social and recharge with others. My DH is most happy when he's doing something, hanging out with friends. He loves a big party. Me? Not so much. SD is like him, so she was always out with friends or had friends over. If I was the adult home, sometimes I'd be worn out with the kids even if they weren't bad. Sometimes I'd say, "You can have one friend over now or you can have both friends over when your dad gets home." Or I'd tell DH that I didn't want to be the one in charge, so if he ran around with them, they could have guests.

I would tell her she can have x playdates a week and with x number of kids per day. Give her tickets and once she's used her tickets, no more for the week. If there are a few friends who you trust, say, "No, I'm not up for hosting anyone here, but if you want to go to Susan's house, that's OK." And then make sure it's OK with Susan's family. If there are kids that are bad, then either say they can't come over so much or say that only ONE of them can come at a time. Sometimes bad kids are only bad in groups.

She wants playdates because they are fun and at this age, she cannot get anywhere by herself. I know it can be tiring, but try to find a median between her wishes and yours.

Oh, and we also tell DD that if she begs and whines and cries, then it's "No" and "don't bother me again."

I would also encourage the mom's group to go do something else. With the weather getting better, you can toss the kids outside, take them to a park, etc.

Oh, dear, hold on to your hat because this is just the beginning! She will constantly want someone over or to go to someone else's house from now until she moves out!

My GD is also like this. Loves to play and socialize! There just aren't enough hours in the day for her to spend with her friends!

It's just how social butterflies are!

shes just a social butterfly. She probably has more fun when they are over vs when its just her and the younger one. My kids will ask for friends to come over but not as frequent. I think it depends on the kid. I know that one of my sons friends always has kids over because he is pretty much an only kid. His parents are older and his brother and sister are in college and he is only in 2nd grade. My kids play well together so they get playing and dont ask for so and so to come over.

Fifteen children over at the same time is a play group and pure insanity. A play date is only one or two children invited over at the same time.

Your child is a social butterfly. It's normal.

Is she an only child? My daughter has a good friend who is an only child, and I think she gets really bored, because she wants my daughter to come for play dates almost daily.

Can she go to a playdate at someone else's house, so you aren't always the host?

because she's 5 and likes to play with friends, i expect.
she's not thinking about this from an adult perspective because she's not an adult.
rather than demanding that she not behave like a 5 year old, develop a good 'no'.
use it frequently.
khairete
S.

Hi, Mama:

Ask her why she always asks for play dates.

The thing you need to do is:
Sit down with your daughter and write down the rules for children to behave by and the consequences if they don't follow the rules.
Tell the Children's mothers what is expected the before they visit with their children. You might also ask the mothers what kind of behaviors and consequences would they suggest to be added to the list.

Once that is done: Get your calendar and tell her when she can have a play date.

If she asks, say "NO" the next day can be xxxxxxxx.

Your child is not thinking, you are, you are the parent.

If you don't know it, you are blaming the child for your behavior.

Don't take it personally.

Good luck.
D.

Playdates are one one one.

15 is a zoo. At one point did you think it was a good idea to have 15 kids over?

The only time I have ever invited that ## of kids over is for a birthday party. ALL other hang time is one on one, a few times there's been a tag along younger sibling who hasn't learned to separate from older sib.

I have a very social son, and even if I tell him, No playdates after school on Friday because of XYZ...he'll call me and and sweetly ask, Mom', regarding that no playdate thing, well....

And then you need to negotiate, what can you personally manage.

Also, playdates to me are to keep my kids busy, not me. So I am very clear with my kids friends when they come over that they need to take care of their own little needs for water. I put out a few acceptable snacks and then my kids know not to raid the pantry. Well, it's not that tight, there are always extra crackers, cheese, fruit all the time.

So, teach her some independence techniques with her friends, teach her some independent play time, by encouraging hobbies, music, art, dance, yoga videos, DIY kits, etc.

My son was just like that at age 5 - it drove me a bit nuts. I scheduled a LOT of playdates for him. He would hound me about it...beg and beg! He has a MUCH younger sister so for him it was like being an only child. Luckily we ended up moving to a neighborhood with a lot of kids. We have kids coming over here almost daily and he loves it. Or I send him outside to play with everyone. Or he can walk to friend's houses (He is almost 9 now). He's still a very social kid. I think it's normal for you daughter to be like this. She is an extrovert and peers are becoming more and more important to her.

I don't know what to say. My almost 14 year old is STILL this way and it drives me crazy. I mean, I'm all for having kids over (and we do, quite a bit, as a matter of fact there are two here right now!) but she just doesn't understand my need for occasional space and privacy.
I just have to put my foot down sometimes.
Especially with the sleepovers :-(
Oh, and she's ADHD, which my other two kids are not, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it.
I guess the good news is that our kids are highly sociable and will thrive in working environments where they need to work in correlation with others, right?

She's asking because she's board probalby. But I would have probably done the same thing. Of corse my kids no not to ask if someone can come over they know the answer will be no!!!

My daughter is the same way, also 5 and in kindergarten...maybe we should get them together for a play date. ;)

Seriously though, DD is just a social butterfly. And like a lot of kids, she never wants the fun to end. I am more introverted and need some down time and quiet time after a play date or other such thing, just to be able to unwind. DD, on the other hand, will be in school all day, go to extended care after, and then when getting picked up, as if so-and-so can come over for a play date or have dinner at our house that night - are you kidding me??? She also always wants a play date with someone on the weekends or other days she doesn't have school - sometimes it can happen, sometimes not. Or we hang out with a friend or 2 at the playground, then come home and she wants another friend over. Or she tells me that a friend from school said she could come over to her house, but of course, nothing has been communicated between the parents, and I have to remind her that the moms need to set something up if we can - not the kids.

DD is an only child, so I think sometimes she just wants a constant playmate, and it's more fun having someone around then always being by herself, or just with Mom or Dad. I try not to snap at her when she asks these things, but sometimes my patience wears thin, especially when she pesters me about it over and over. I let her know that I know it was fun having a friend over, or being at so-and-so's house, then just remind her that she just had a play date and we will need to set something up another time. If she keeps bugging me about it or starts to whine, she gets sent to her room for not listening to Mommy.