When to Have the Next Baby

B.,

will you please let me know what kind of responses you get??
i am in the SAME boat right now!! :)
thanks!
-H.

I have 3 kids spaced 2 years apart; ages 1, 3 & 5. The 2 eldest are boys and they play well together and make a big mess of the home when together. Pros: always someone to play with, someone else to spoil and love, eldest child will learn to be very responsible. Cons: I am always tired, constantly cleaning a mess they had fun making, life has to be on a schedule. Right now I'm wishing I would have spaced them 3 years apart that way I could of enjoyed the terrible 2's stage and had more time to rest.

My oldest children are 5 years apart - - - my body definately liked that spacing - I was well healed - yes, the nights were a little rough to get used to - - - advantage is they go to high school and college alone - so it's financially a lot easier.... My 2nd children are also 5 years apart - - - it worked - had the 2nd one in kindergarten and had a lot of time with baby number #3 - of course baby #3 had her life revolving around her big sisters because they were so active... Then I had #4 when #3 was 2 - - - I was miserable the entire pregnancy - in pain - sick exhausted - thought it was my age, but now that #5 is coming and #4 is 5 - - - I realized - that my body had just had too much too close together...

Advantage if you can handle it - #3 and #4 have the most amazing relationship - they get along so well and everyone thinks they are twins - - - I love to watch them play together and in the long run it was way easier for me - - - so my advice to you is give you body time to heal - lose the weight have a break between breastfeeding and getting pregnant - -- but don't wait too long

I have two kids that are 22 months apart. The pregnancy and beginning were fairly easy the second time around, however, in the past year it has become extremely hard. They are opposite sex and can play well together, but when they don't it's really UGLY! They were so much work that our plan to have a third with the same spread was put on hold. I am now expecting my third and this baby will be 3 1/2 years apart from my youngest and 5 from my oldest. I am hoping they'll be more of a help...but still really nervous. Just remember no matter how far apart they are, the beginning is easiest, newborns just sleep, eat, and poop. When they start getting mobile is when the chaos really begins! Good luck deciding!

I have had 3 kids the first one was 4yrs and 1 month apart from the second one, that to me was perfect at the time. Then when my middle son turned 11 1/2 months old I found out I was expecting another one. The last 2 are 19 months apart and I'm glad that I did it that way, even thought I really wanted them to be 2 years apart. Although now, I do love the fact that they are close. They fight hard and love harder it's great!

Hope that helps

I wanted to have my kids 2 1/2 years apart so they'd be 2 school years apart (and 1 kid in diapers)... but my hubby was deployed during that conception time so obvioulsy... my kids are 2 yrs and 9 months apart. It was hard at first cuz Lexi (3yr3mo) was in denial when my son came. He's 7 months now and they play together already and she's old enough to "help out" when I need her to run and grab something for me. I personally didn't want to have them any closer in age because it is alot of work! BTW... she's fianlly potty trained so the "1 kid in diapers" thing didn't quite work out.

Hello, My name is M. I am a 37 yr old Divorced and Single mom. I have 2 children. My oldest is 13 and my son just turned 12 on the 3rd of April. I personally feel You should have them as close and as soon as you can. I know at first it seems scary and can be a strain financially and Mentally. When My daughter was 9 mos I found out I was expecting, I was on the pill however it was meant to be. My first reaction was to jump off the closest cliff. But as my children grew they always had a companion. To play with, fight, sleep and vacations well they always had eachother. Now during their pre-teen and teen years they have grown very close and get along quite well. If I could go back knowing what I know today, I would do it all over again. Maybe even have another child or two.
Good luck in your decision. I hope I helped a little.

Hello B.- I have four children. Their ages are 11, 10, 8, and 6. It has been a crazy few years. The pro's of having kids close in age is the obvious they all ways have someone to play with. The cons is having less sleep. But in my opinion the pro's so out way the cons. My kids are all so funny when they get together and play.

Just go with the flow. It's hard to family plan. I have 3 kids (9,8,2 1/2). 2-3 yrs of waiting is fine, childbaring & birthing is easier the 2nd/3rd time around. But when you start getting past 4 yrs of waiting; your body officially heals. So if you wait 4 or more yrs before having your next one; it'll be like having a baby again for the 1st time. Remeber, it usually takes 6months to a year (supposedly) to get pregnant again when you get off birth control.

Hi B., Your original plan is great. I have seen kids that are too far apart end up fighting more and have less things in commen and the youngest alwayes feels left out. 2 years apart is perfect they have same intrest and get along better. I have 8 and 6 year old and a 2 year and 9 month. The older kids play and fight togther and they are also mamas helpers. But when thay play together thay are always runing the younger ones from there room. Setting a schedual nap for both if great . I run the CD with soft music and lay a blanket and pillow and they know its time for nap and I nap with them. Children learn quick to follow scheduals. I always try to get thing done befor or afther naps. Ones the younger starts to interact more with the older child things get better in the sens thay you don't have a baby clinging on to you all the time for they have better thing to do like play and anoy big sister or brother. I wish you the best of luck on whatever you decide.

God Bless
D.

Hi there! I am a mom to 4 kids, my kids are 21 months apart, 24 months and then I just had the last one who is 40 months apart from my youngest. I will say the 2 year spread was good for me. My kids (the older 3) are really close with one another and play really well together, but now having the last one farther apart from the others it is a little easier. When you have a 2 yr. old and a newborn, 2 in diapers...it can be challenging,(and tiring) but we wanted to have our kids close together so we would still be young as they grow up. My kids are 7, 5, 3 and then 2 weeks old and the older kids can really be helpful. I was a little nervous starting all over again though, we've been done with diapers, sippy cups, etc... for along time and doing the baby thing all over again was nerve racking, but is fine. Overall, I do not regret having my kids so close together even though some people think I am crazy! :) Wish you tons of luck in whatever choice you make.

My first child is now 13 years old and I am starting all over agin with my daughter who is 3 months. I don't want to do that again so we are already trying. My view is I'm exhausted now I might as well stay that way and get it over with. Also I'm 31 and my husband is 39. We want our kids to be the same age so that they can be friends. Just my opinioin!

I am just about 14 weeks pregnant with our second and it was really tough in the beginning. I had terrible morning sickness and had zero energy. But it only lasted for about 5 weeks and now i feel great. My energy is starting to come back too, which is really nice. The age difference between our two children will be just about 26 months.
Just remember no matter how far apart they are, the beginning is easiest, newborns just sleep and eat.
Hope this helps!

right now, my daughter is 5, and my son is 19 months. I found out I was pregnant with my son right before my daughter turned 3. She was over 3 1/2 when he was born, and it's wonderful. I also lucked out, in the fact that my son has been sleeping through the night since he was 2 days old. He actually get's excited at bed time, and he sleeps for 12 hours a night. My daughter still doesn't sleep all through the night. It's great though, she helps get bottles, she helps get diapers, throws them away, get's his clothes, and they're VERY close. They go everywhere together. They sit at the table at dinner, and they just laugh for 30 minutes. It's wonderful, they're still close enough in age to play, and fight, but not too close to have made it h*** o* me.

my boys are 5 years apart. we wanted them to be closer, but nature wanst giving us what we were trying so hard for. but the 5 year differance has been a good things so far. my 5 year old is in kindergarten so that gives me a few hours of "alone time" with baby. also my 5 year old has been very understanding of everthing. there are things that a 2 year old cant grasp as opposed to a 5 year old, you know? and my 5 year old is very helpful. he is constantly wanting to help out. he does it for fun, but i try to give him some rewards for all of his help, which makes him want to help more. good luck with what ever path you choose!

I wish I could help you because I'm struggling with the same dilema. My son is 21 months old and my husband and I have been trying pretty much since the day I brought my son home. I wanted to have my children very close together in order to try and get all the diapers and silly things like that out of the way. But now that it has been so long I'm very grateful for the distance that will be between the next one. I have a sister who is 2 years younger than I am and I had only wished we were a few years more seperated than we were. I feel that there would be more interest in the other sibling if they are a few years apart, and yes I know there will still be fighting etc... but there would also be more of an understanding in the beginning of the other sibling. I can't wait for another but I will be waiting for about another year or so, unless something happens otherwise. Good luck and have fun always whatever you decide.

A. S.

Hi, I am not sure how it has worked for others, but I had my two girls almost exactly 2 years apart. When we first brought the new baby home from the hospital it probably took a few days for the older one to get used to the idea, but we tried to involve her alot with the new baby and helping with things. She loved this and has always been very helpful. She gets diapers, toys for the baby, and a pacifier when she cries. Now that they are almost 1 and 3 I really think that it is great to have them so close in age. They love to play with eachother, they share food and snacks, the older one reads to the little one and talks and plays with her constantly. We have had no problems with jealousy. The only thing I would recommend if you have them close in age is investing in a double stroller. With a two year old it is easier to have them straped in when you go out of the house or for walks.

Good Luck.

If you're not sure, you're probably not ready. I have had 3 kids in 3 1/2 years and everyone says my husband and I are really brave or really stupid! It's how we wanted it though. Yes it can be exhausting, but when are kids not exhausting! I love that mine are so close together. My almost 4 year old daughter loves to help with my 6 mo old and she and her 2 1/2 year old brother play together all the time and are almost inseperable. I have natural best friends. Bottom line is, you probably shouldn't have another baby if you're not sure. Good luck!

I have 3 children. My first 2 are 6 years apart. That is way to far apart. We didn't plan it that way, but due to 2 miscarriages, it happened. At first it was fine, because the oldest and I took classes together at the hospital on how to care for your baby brother or sister... so, he was more involved, but now as they are older -- they constantly fight because one is 9 and the other is 3. My smallest two are 3 and 2. (actually 18 months apart). They are like best friends. However, having them this close, one is jealous of the other at first. But now, they play with each other and Yes, they do fight. We weren't expecting them to be so close in age, because we were told since I had miscarriages in the past, I would have them again, so we figured it would take sometime, but it didn't.