When Is Too Late for a Baby?

I'm 29. I'll have my third child in one month, on December 1.

I always said age 30 was my cutoff, but that's not because I think over 30 is "too old" to have a baby. I just wanted to be a young Mom, and enjoy my 30s and 40s with some semblance of freedom.

I think it's too late when you don't think you have it in you any more.
I know women who have had children in their late 40's with the help of assisted reproduction. Some that didn't have their first child until 38/40.
And why not? If you think that what you want go for it!
Good luck

If someone asked me if they were to old I would ask them if they felt they were to old. If they said no and knew it would not cause severe issues with the baby then go for it. Only you will know what you can do and what you cannot. Personally for me, I have put a stop watch to end at 35, only because riding/ breaking horses has put a damper on my body and I feel at that age I would be a lot slower and less likely to do what my child needs me to do.

I say it depends on the woman and how her life/ body moves around a baby at the time.

I am 41 (turned 41 this past August) and I am currently 5 weeks pregnant. I'm holding the *hurrah's* because in addition to the normal "risks" like an increase in rate of miscarriages (33%) in women over 40.... I have my own history of significant trouble sustaining pregnancies, even when I was much younger.

Having said that..... I would ideally like to have one ADDITIONAL kid, if I'm luck enough to sustain this pregnancy and end up with a real live kid..... so 2 more - or 3 total. I have a 12 year old daughter and although I think there are plenty of merits and pros to having an only I would like to have 2 that are closer together in age.

We'll see how it all works out.

I can tell you that I am considered high risk, but as we were talking through WHY with my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) the other day she didn't say ANYTHING about age being a factor for high risk. I inquired and she said "oh, honey.... that's not even an oddity anymore". So, medically, it sounded like it was not as much of a problem as it used to be.

Now - personally? that's a whole different carton of eggs (no pun intended). I am WAY more tired than I was the first time around.... Somewhere around 36 or 37 I lost my ability to "party all night" as they say.... so I'm not exactly sure what I am going to do with the months of sleepless nights. The benefit is that my husband-to-be (less than 6 weeks away) is SUPER excited and helpful, so he will be pitching in at least half. Which I think *may* be something that *older* dads are more likely to want to do. (not all......)

I don't think you are "crazy" at all. I had my daughter at 41. It never occurred to me that I was "old". It was the best time for my family as my step kids were 17 & 20 and we were through most of their teen issues (and bio-mom issues), my income was high, I was in excellent health, etc. I conceived naturally with no issues, had a perfect text-book pregnancy, a natural delivery, and a wonderfully healthy daughter.

Now, I also personally know EIGHT kids who were born to my friends who were all in their mid 30s who are only here because of IVF. So, maybe I didn't realize how lucky I was (these were all born after my daughter).

I don't think giving birth is "selfish" or "wrong" at any age - if you are prepared to do your best to raise the child and make arrangements for their care if you can't (which many of us do a poor job of no matter our age). If a woman gives birth at 50 or 60, she could easily be alive well past that child being grown, or a woman can have a child in her 20s or 30s and die from accident or disease when the child is young. Who are we to judge based on age, when there are so many aspects of responsible parenthood.

I am not too old at 35...but I am too tired! 3 is enough for me!
Who am I to judge what too old is? Hell, if you feel good at 50...go for it! But I know that wont be me...I would prefer to be a grandma at 50.
L.

I had my son at 37... many other women I knew at the time were much younger. However, I had already experienced many more life experiences than some of them and therefore, didn't freak out at the small things..

36 IS young if you ask me.. I would add that IF you plan on trying for #3... forget what others think and follow your heart.. you never know how long it might take to conceive or not....

I tried again after my first and unfortunately, it never happened again.. I attribute that in part to my being in my 40s at the time.. However, I am past it now and feel blessed to have one... a very special one I might add.. But I am now a firm believer (didn't want to believe it when I was trying to conceive) that it does become more difficult as we age to conceive but moreover, carry a pregnancy..

I say, if you think deep down you want another... give it a try...

best of luck to you

My SIL is 36 and she and my brother have been trying for a few years. She is having surgery next month to remove some fibroids wrapped around her fallopian tubes in the hopes that it will allow her to get pregnant. Basically as invasive a surgery as a hysterectomy... 6 weeks recovery for starters. So I'd say they are still in the hunt... My brother, btw, is 46.

I am 44, and if I were to get pregnant, would be shocked. But, if I were to get pregnant, I guess I would say that 44 was not too late.

Peronally, no 35 is not to old. I didn't marry untill age 30. My husband and I waited 7 years to have our first and only child. We just wanted to be sure we were ready. Took a while to get my husband on board for a baby. Just intimiadated and worried about being a good father that was all.

Being over 35 just puts you into what is considered the high risk teritory by most OBGYN's. I found a doctor that specialized in high risk/older mothers. I had more ultrasounds than most first time moms, but everything else was just fine. Had a healthy happy little girl at age 37.

Many women are having children in their 40s, and naturally! Someone in my family had their youngest at age 45, and it has been great (that baby is now in college!) 45 still means the kid will be in college long before parents retire. We tend to remain active and vigorous long into our 60s, so I never even thought about the mid 40s as being "too old"! As for the mid 30s!!!????!!!! What!! Wow! That is even farther from my idea of "too old" since that seems like such an ideal age! Of course - biology may dictate otherwise. Cancer and so many other unexpected turns in life can take the choice away.

I had my first at 25, second at 33 and third 35.
My own personal timeline is before age 40, it used to be 35 until I turned 35 LOL.
I think before 40 is perfect for me since during my 40's I can focus on getting my body back , relax and watch the kiddos grow, not change anymore diapers and enjoy family trips with the little ones. when I turn 40 I'll have a 15 year-old, an 8 year-old and a 5 year-old, it sounds perfect to me :o) (If God blesses us again, I'd love to have a fourth within the next couple of years).

I'm 40 and pregnant with my third. This will be my second home birth, if all goes well. Thus far, all the tests show a healthy baby girl. I can't express in words what a blessing this baby feels like. I struggled for almost two years trying to decide if I wanted a third. Silly me, she is already such a blessing and I can't wait to meet her!

I'd say upwards to 45, if you want one.

LOL...well I became a mother for the first time at age 50, so I am way over your limit. That being said, my situation was an adoption and I married very late in life (at 41), but that's another story.

I think it is all a matter of your mind-set about it. If you think 35 is old, maybe you're not the person to be a "later mom". My own mother had her second child at age 41. The good news is that they keep you young and on your toes. It has been scientifically studied that women who give birth later, live much longer than their peers. Obviously, I am much older than a typical older mom, but you do have to face the fact that you aren't as agile as 20-somethings, but you learn to work around these things.

Of course, I couldn't write about this issue without promoting adoption as an alternative for having a later child. I could not have biologically produced a more perfect child for me than the one we adopted. For children, age is not a factor as long as you love them and give them your full attention.

i think it depends on how you feel.. i mean some 60 year olds have more energy than some 40 year olds, so i really dont think its a number thing, its more about u personally and if u can handle it... now im only 24 and a first time mom and who knows mayb ill still feel 24 when im 40 but if i had to put a number on it.. id say 10yrs from now i hope im done having kids lol

I am 36 and there is no way that I could have another one. But i have health issues that make it impossible. Not to mention that I had my tubes tied in 02. But I know many that have them over 40. My friend just turned 40 and is due in Jan with her first. My sister in law had her second after 40. To me it's all up to the couple. Now 60 is too old to have a baby I think. :)

I think as long as you are capable of reproducing you are not too old. Of course it depends on the individual, your health and activity level. As far as I was concerned my twenties were my time to go to school, have fun, party and be selfish. It was all about me. My thirties and fourties are devoted to my family. Honestly, all the young moms I know personally are still pretty selfish, but the older moms are more committed to their families. I also want my husband and I to be retired by the time we are grandparents so we can help out and enjoy the grandkids.

For me? Menopause

I'm 31 now, have 3 kids, and need to get in shape so we're delaying pregnancy right now (to reach my goal weight I'd need about a year), but after that I'd love to have another baby (or 2). I feel like I still have a lot of love to give, and my kids keep asking me if they can have another sibling.

When the walker just won't fit by the baby bed at night....lol.

I think if a person wants a baby and is physically able to bring that child to life then they are not too old.

Do you realize how many grandparents in America are raising grandchildren? Hundreds of thousands if not millions of them. In our grandparents support group there are probably 20 families represented. Some reasons these grandparents end up doing this a second time are their children's drug habits, the death of their child, mental illness, lifestyles, incarceration, etc...

We have one grandmother who is in her 60's and has a whole new family of kids starting with a baby that is just a few months old up to a teenager who is in high school. Her child died of the flu and he had full custody of the kids since the mom had taken off as soon as the baby left the hospital and no one even knew if she was still alive. So this older grandmother who was looking forward to retiring is now having to change diapers, be up at night times again, is now looking forward to working at least 10 more years, etc...she loves these children with her whole heart though and the only thing she would change would be that her son didn't die, that he had recovered and was still there for them.

Another story is a common one. Drug addiction. Some have adult children on the streets, living who knows where, in their cars, with what ever friend will let them crash at their house, who ever wants a piece of hiney for the night, again, not making good choices due to their brains not being in control on their actions, the drugs are in control of their actions. They can get better, get back on their feet, and can become good parents at some point. They might even be able to take their kids at some point and be a parent to them.

All that said just to point out that our soon to be or already there senior citizens are already doing it so if a person even in their 50's wants to have their own child then they should be able to do so.

I don't think a mother in her 40's is too old. It is more common now than anyone really realizes. I know several moms who started 2nd families after a long marriage and then divorce. Marry a 2nd time and they find they'd like to have children together. Their business.

Some find themselves working and working and not taking time then suddenly realize if they don't do it now they will never get the chance so they start up late.

Some have a large family of kids and they love their lifestyle so they keep having more. Until they are done. It's not anyone's business other than theirs. So if a family wants to have a lot of kids then they should be able to do so.

All in all, if a mom wants to get pregnant and has the machinery in working order then she should be able to get pregnant and have that experience.

BTW, my husbands grandmother got pregnant in her 50's or 60's. I know I was shocked that she could still do that. BUT since there was no birth control back then I guess fate or nature decided when people were too old, that was called menopause...lol. When he is doing genealogy he always gets an error message saying he has entered an invalid date for the birth of that child. He always has to go in a click some dots to say it is correct.

She didn't decide she was too old and stop, she thought she was done and found she wasn't. She did have other children but they were all in school or out of school at this time.

I'm 36 (today :-)) We are currently TTC # 2! I definitely don't think 36 is too old. I think, for me, 45 would be my limit.

You are not crazy if you feel up for it. It totally depends on the mom. I have a friend who had her kids when she was 41 and 43. She has way more energy than I do and I often forget that she's older than me. I know for me, I don't have the energy at 40 to go through the baby stuff again. But that's me.

My cousin had her son at age 38 and she felt fine- until she saw her chart at the doctor's office with the special sticker that indicated an 'older' mom. She suddenly felt ancient. But things still worked out great for her.

Good luck on your decision!

We wanted to be done at 30. I don't think 30 is too old, we just wanted to be settled and not adding by then. I don't actually think 36 is too old. When people have babies in their 40's, I honestly don't understand that. BUT, to each their own. If someone is going to be a good mom, I'm not going to judge how old they have babies.

I did read a story the other day about a women (I think in Brazil) who had medical procedures done, and had twins at 61. That's selfish, in my opinion...and wrong. (So, I was wrong. I do judge SOME people of older ages. REALLY older ages.)

Whether or not it's too late is different for each individual. You are not crazy for considering another baby at 36 even if other moms consider that too old for them.

I always said 35 should be the cut-off, but now I'm 37 and pregnant with #4!

It took us three years so I was 30 and 32 when I had mine. I think as you get closer to 40 you should hang it up. Of course if it would have taken me longer to get pregnant I might have a different opinion! The risks of the pregnancy and baby problems concern me as well as the risk of you not being around to see your grandchildren.

I would talk it over with your OBGYN. I had my one and only D when I just turned 36. Everything turned out fine. But according to the medical community I was an 'older Mom'. This is due mostly to the increased risk of Chromosome Defects as you get older. For example your risk of having a child with Down Syndrome goes up dramatically from age 30 to 40. But many women have healthy babies into their 40s.

I wouldn't consider 36 too old. I am 36 right now and have 2 kids. I am not sure I would consider having a baby after 40 though. I will say I do have plenty of friends who are 40 and having babies. I just found that after my 2nd when I was 35, I found I was really, really tired.

I'm 38 and I wouldn't hesitate to have another baby.

I was 39 when I had my last. I have a very active 2 year old now. I know a woman that didn't start until she was 42 and had another afterwards. I think it's a matter of what is best for each person.

I was 37 when I had my first - it just depends on how you feel

I personally wanted to have my children while in my twenties. I can't have any more biological children but we are open to adoption. I would say my husband and I will not adopt a baby past the age of 36. Ideally, we would like to adopt a 12-24 month old within the next 4 years or so (which would make us 33).

At 38 I had my 3rd and that was ok. Now I am 41 and for me it's too late. For others that want a baby I think 41-48 is fine. I wonder about the risks later than that, but it's still no biggie.