When Did Your Toddler/child Stop Napping?

Updated on September 10, 2008
C.C. asks from Vancouver, WA
31 answers

Hi! I'm just curious as to when your toddler or young child stopped napping. I understand that it's different for every kid, but could my 2 1/2 year old really be done with naps? I feel like he could still use one (I sure could use that 2 hour break in the afternoon!) but he seems to feel otherwise. He usually keeps going strong for 12 hours a day as long as he hasn't played REALLY hard that day.

He goes to sleep just fine in the evening. Get in PJs, kiss and a tuck in, I sit or lay near him, turn the lights out, and 9 out of 10 times he's asleep (in his own bed) in 10 minutes. But I cannot, for the life of me, get him to nap on his own. He is still nursing, once per day or every other day, and the only way I can get him to nap is to lay with him and nurse him down. I feel like that is the only way I can "trick" him into laying still for 20 minutes so he will fall asleep mid-day -- and nursing isn't even working half the time anymore. I've tried doing our same nighttime routine, or mixing it up by leaving the room entirely, but he manages to keep himself awake by fidgeting, singing, mumbling, bunny hopping around the bed, etc. for an HOUR sometimes. He just will not nap.

I'm just wondering if that's normal. I feel like I may be still encouraging that one nursing session per day just because it's the only way he will nap. He is totally ready to let go of nursing entirely, from what I can tell. He hardly ever asks for "mama milk" anymore. In fact, he has gone away with his dad for the entire weekend out-of-town (and I doubt he will nap even once for his dad!).

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So What Happened?

Hi everyone! Thanks for all the great advice about napping, and what worked for everyone. It was really nice to hear that some folks do apparently have children who don't seem to *need* naps at this age.

I stopped "requiring" naps and made them optional, and our days went a lot more smoothly. I kept a close watch for signs of tiredness, but there were none! Not a single yawn mid-day. Bedtime did move to an earlier time with the naps gone, and he's still consistently getting 11 hours of sleep per night, so I feel good about the choice.

As for nursing, with the naptime snuggle/nurse gone, I was surprised to find my 2 1/2 year old did want to nurse at other times of day! I was wrong about him being totally ready to let go of nursing. I tried to cut it out cold turkey when he returned from a weekend away, but after heartbreaking tears in which he revealed he thought, "Mama no like me no more!" I allowed the nursing to continue when he really needed it (sleep-time and if he was hurt). Thank goodness he was able to express himself so well. I would never want him to feel like his own mother didn't LIKE him.

Over the next month he kept up the pattern of nursing once every other day or three, gradually letting the time between sessions grow until one day he hadn't nursed in a week or so and he just ... forgot how to latch on. It was very gentle on the both of us.

He's now nearly 3 1/2, and still not a regular napper. Sometimes he falls asleep on long car rides, or if he's sick, but that's about it. He's growing up fast, is an incredibly bright and polite little guy, and is now enjoying preschool! He napped at school for the first week (it was exhausting learning to be a preschooler, apparently) but now just looks at his teacher like she's crazy if she asks if he's tired.

Thanks again for sharing your stories with me, I really appreciated the insight.

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E.K.

answers from Portland on

My 2.5yr old has just given up naps too. For us it was becoming evident that she would probably be giving them up because bedtime was becoming a struggle. Also she had been napping after lunch, then we had trouble getting her down. Then we kinda moved her naps towards 1:30-2pm, which worked for a little over a month then it just seemed that because she napped until 3-3:30 (sometimes even until 4pm) that she wasn't ready for bed at 8pm. So we started skipping naps and we have gotten right back into a smooth bedtime routine.

All kids are different, my soon to be 5yr old daughter just gave up her nap in March of this year (4.5yrs old). I can still get her down for a nap when needed, but the younger one just seems to go go go.

E.

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S.W.

answers from Eugene on

My child stopped napping about that same age. He was in pre-school for most of that time, so he was required to lay quietly on his mat, but they didn't 'force' him to go to sleep. He looked through books and played quietly while the others slept. Then he usually asked to go to bed at around 7:30.
Best of luck,
Sarah

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B.G.

answers from Seattle on

In my experience, there wasn't this certain "date" that my children stopped napping. There was a couple months of painful "some days they need naps and some days the don't". Very painful for those who like predictability.
*I* stopped giving my daughter naps when I noticed she wouldn't go to bed until midnight if she got a nap. :)

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

First of all, congrats on nursing so long! (Now, can you tell me how you got him down to once a day?)

One problem we have had with naps (we have a 2-yr-old girl) is that our daughter is equally happy to go outside and play "harder" or stay indoors engaged in quieter pursuits. Not surprisingly, one of these activities leads to napping, and the other not so much!

Once we consciously adjusted the rhythm of the day so that naptime followed a snack and then more vigorous play, she became better at napping again.

Also, we have a different pre-nap routine than the one used for bed, because she fights sleep at bedtime for about an hour. If I make naptime anything like bedtime, it's a no-go.

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J.S.

answers from Eugene on

We had to ask our child care provider to stop letting our daughter nap when she was around 3. If she did nap, then she would be up until 11 or 12 at night. Of course the daycare wasn't sure what to do with her, because everyone else was napping at that time, so they had her go into the kitchen area with one of the other helpers and she helped clean up the kitchen and got to eat more snacks. She loved it. Anyway, I don't think that there is a set age that kids stop napping, my daughter was just fine not napping and it helped her sleep better at night. Good Luck

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A.L.

answers from Seattle on

Every child is different. My son stopped napping at 2 yrs. old. I tricked his older sister into napping until she was almost 4 yrs. old, only because he was napping at that time. When he stopped she did, too.
I would say let the naps go and have a quiet time with books or a video so, you get a break during the day. You could have him take his quiet time in his room on his bed while you go do something else around the house.
I wish you luck.

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A.R.

answers from Seattle on

I'm not sure that I can give any advice, but I thought you might like to know that I am in the same boat. My 2 1/2 son is giving up his nap, and it hasn't been an easy project. I used to say that I didn't know what I would do without the 2-3 hour naptime break that I had from my very active 2 yr. old, but the days that he does nap now make bedtime such a chore that I prefer the days when he hasn't napped. I have been looking for advice on how to help him get rid of the nap, but all the advice I have found is on how to get your two year old to keep the nap.

On the days when he skips the nap we do have a quiet time (usually watching a video since he won't sit and look at books by himself much yet) so I do feel like I get some of my down time. He also sleeps longer at night when he hasn't napped 11-12 hours (vs. 9-10 hours when he naps).

Lately he has been asking for naps (he has also had a cold), but he is taking so long to fall asleep (30-50 minutes) for both naptime and bedtime. Now that the cold is gone, I'm going to gradually move him away from taking naps and try to get him to sleep better and longer at night.

I wish you luck in figuring out what is best for your son!

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K.M.

answers from Portland on

My 2 yr old also tends to not want to nap and plays in her crib for up to an hour. Sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she doesn't. I just try to get her into bed before 2 and get her at 3 if she's still awake or 3:30 if she fell asleep. She doesn't have to nap, but I need the break- if only for an hour. If you can't stand to hear him play around for the hour, turn off the monitor, then you can use the time without worrying so much about him. He'll nap if he needs it and continuing the quiet time for an hour as he gets older will be great for both of you. Good Luck!
K.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I am sure it is different for all kids/family's, but my almost 5 year old and 3 year old still nap everyday. My 5 year old can go with out it, but he will still take one if I tell him to lay down.

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

My oldest stopped napping at 6 months (but he slept 12 hours every night, so it was a pretty good trade off).

My older twin is still napping and he's 26 months. (He'll probably be napping through high school!)

My little twin is pretty much done with naps. If he gets up really early, he might conk out for 30 minutes to an hour during quiet time - but he's afraid of missing something.

I did/do insist on "quiet time" in the afternoons up until my oldest was three. It was just enough to recharge their batteries.

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D.L.

answers from Seattle on

Our little girl will be 3 in a month and has napped less days a week than not napped for over a year. I would say she averages 1-3 naps a week. Whenever I think she's finally napping everyday again, she usually just is getting sick. :-P However, she still has quiet time everyday. Actually, the quiet time has gotten better lately. She loves to read, so I have given up the fight and just let her read in bed. She has naptime from 2-4 in her room (whether or not she sleeps) and the days she does sleep, she usually sleeps 2.5-4 hours. It can get pretty crabby some evenings (even if she did nap) but it's just how she is. However, she's a GREAT sleeper at night and sleeps in longer than any other kids I know. I plan on keeping "naptime" because if she doesn't get the quiet, downtime to herself, she's really ramped up.

I would recommend for his and your own sanity, I would still try for naps. Kudos for still breastfeeding (my little one self-weaned at 9 1/2 months and I was crushed) but if you feel like you're ready to wean the naptime nursing, than know that that is your choice. :-) I always thought of nursing as a dance... if one of you doesn't want to, then the dance is over. Also, they tend to go in phases, so if you keep up the routine of naptime (whether or not you continue to nurse) he might learn to sleep on his own. You would be amazed how much reenergized they can get with just some time to themselves in bed.

My only piece of advice about trying to get him to sleep, is making sure the windows are totally blacked out. That has helped us in the past. Good luck and make sure you get your break too. :-)

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M.T.

answers from Portland on

At 3 years old my daughter was still napping. And now at 3.5 she still naps every other day; on the days she doesn't sleep, she is in her room for quiet time. She knows that she needs to be in her room to rest, I ask that she nap, but if she chooses not to, she stays in her room and looks at books, or play with puzzles or her dollhouse. When she naps, it is for 1.5 hrs, and otherwise a 45 minute quiet time in her room (sometimes she'll be in there 1 hour), but I encourage her to stay at least 45 mins.

At around 2-2.5 years old, she was going through possibly dropping the nap. There were days she wouldn't nap and would fuss in her room instead. I was consistent in encouraging her to nap. I would rest with her for a few minutes for example (and sometimes fall asleep in her room!), but with consistent requirement for nap or quiet time alone in her room, she got back in the groove. I think it is a normal stage that they go through at that age. If you establish the routine you want, you will get there. Also, look for signs of tiredness earlier than you may expect. I found that if I get my daughter to naptime around 1pm (vs. 1:30 or 2:00) then she will nap, but if I miss the timing and get later than 1:30, she ends up fighting the nap (probably overtired and stimulated by that time). Each kid has their own "sleep" cycle as you know, so watch for her body language and behavior to find the best time for her nap/rest time.

As for the nursing. That is a personal decision. I personally stopped nursing my daughter well before 2 years old. She has learned to soothe herself to sleep. No tricks. However, she does still want the pacifier at sleeptime and I am OK with that for now. At 4 years old, that's going away.

Hope that helps.

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M.M.

answers from Portland on

Unfortunately my kids stopped napping at about that age too. But some of my friends kids nap at 5 years old! I try to at least have a "rest time" in the afternoon and have them lie on the couch and watch TV. That way I at least get a little break!

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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think it depends very much on the child. My daughter stopped napping at 2 and a half (and I, 20 weeks along with my second child, was appalled - I needed her to nap so that I could). She was definitely ready by then. My son, on the other hand, still took daily naps until he was nearly 4. Both children had the option of "nursing to nap" so that wasn't a factor in the timing.

It sounds as if your son may simply be done with naps. If you like, you could still have an hour of "quiet time" in the afternoon, during which he plays or looks at books or listens to music in his room. that way you might still be able to grab a little down time for yourself. Worked with my son, but not my daughter, because she was much too interested in what I was doing while she was in her room.

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M.C.

answers from Seattle on

We just semi stopped our daughters naps now at age 3yrs 3 months. She has been fighting them for almost a half a year saying 'I no nap I wake up" and the fight just got worse and worse. Most days she does a great time having quiet time playing with play-doh, her littlest pet shop, coloring...while her brother takes his nap and some days we just do so much that she is begging to take a nap halfway through we just go with the flow. She has been much easier to put to bed at night now.

I would say he might be ready but I would still keep a good amount of time 1-2 hours for quiet time and just have some activities set aside for those times.

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

C.,

My son gave up naps shortly after my daughter was born, he was two and I desperately needed him to be napping, so here was the solution I came to. If he is quiet in his room for an hour, I am happy. He had some down time and didn't fall asleep, so he obviously isn't tired. Sometimes he has his "down time" on the couch, we cuddle and watch a movie. I just figured if he is quietly playing in his room that was good enough for me. But, once my kids started sharing a room, the "down time" in the bedroom went out the window.

There are days where he needs a nap and I make him take one and there are days where he refuses and as soon as we get in the car to go anywhere he falls asleep. So, I feel like I just take what I can get.

Good Luck, it sounds like you child has officially given up naps. :)

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

C.,

My son will be 5 years old on Oct 15th. He hasn't had a consistent nap for almost 2 years. He still needs the down time in the afternoon, but not always sleep. We just insist that he be quiet in his room. He doesn't have to sleep, just be quiet. Most days he's still in his room playing and not in bed, but I don't want to push the issue too much because he's in his room and not in my hair.

Melissa

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Yep! My daughter quit taking naps about that age as well. It was hard, but after awhile I figured that she still needed a "quiet time", so I started having her still spend some time in her room, looking at books, playing with a leap pad, or puzzles. She just had to be in her room. This gave her somewhat of a rest, and gave me one too!

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

My first daughter would have kept up with her nap through most of Kindergarten if it weren't for my second daughter who decided she didn't need naps anymore when she was about 2, 2 1/2! They are totally different kids! I did make her lay down for a rest each afternoon for a while - she was allowed to read books, but no jumping on the bed, singing loudly, playing, etc. (Her sister was asleep on the top bunk, after all!) Finally I realized that I was perpetuating a fight every day. Making her angry and spending my time disciplining her rather than getting the break I was seeking in the first place just didn't make sense.

In the end, giving up the enforced rest/nap time freed us up to have afternoon outings and an easier time planning things since I didn't have to work around naps any more.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

My son was just over 2. If I made him take a nap he would be up until 11pm, so I decided it was time to end naps.

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C.E.

answers from Seattle on

All 3 of mine had a nap or quiet time for approx 90 mins right up till they started Kindergarden, even after am Kindergaren they settled for an hour or so...

They burn so much energy at that age, and even if they do not sleep, a quiet time too recharge them is essential for good growth development.\\Heck I could use one after lunches most days ~LOL~

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L.N.

answers from Corvallis on

My oldest was the same way. Shortly after she turned two naps became a major battle. Even if I got her to lie quietly still in bed, she often would not fall asleep. I stopped having her take naps, which actually made my life easier because I could be out of the house in the afternoons. I worried about it some because all her friends kept taking naps until they were 4! However, she didn't act tired or cranky and slept a full 10-12 hours at night, so I figured she was fine. Then I got pregnant again an I needed the nap! I would read her books and have her lay in bed with me. Sometimes she would fall asleep and sometimes she would just lie quietly reading and waiting for me to wake up. Then, from the day her little sister was born (she had just turned 3) she never took another nap. My second one is still napping at 2 1/2 and I can tell she still needs it. She doesn't protest too much and if we skip it she gets really whiny at dinner time. So, yes some kids are ready to give up naps as early as two.

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A.N.

answers from Eugene on

my youngest who is 4 still takes a 1-3hr nap every day. he goes down right after lunch which is around 11:30 or noon. sometimes he doesn't get a nap but boy you can tell later when he is super whiney. my oldest daughter napped up until 1st grade (not every day at that age, but sometimes she fell asleep after school). my middle daughter stopped napping at 4, she just didn't need it. my kids also go to bed at 8pm and all 3 of them naturally wake up around 6-6:30am (daddy is an early riser, but not me!) it is very rare for me to have to wake them up for school in the morning. one thing we did for a long time is on the weekends we had family nap time when my son would go down for his. everyone including mama and daddy (yes we need them too) napped, even if that meant that the older kids just read a book or colored for at least 1-2hrs.

good luck with the napping. have a wonderful day!

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D.R.

answers from Portland on

15 months unless we were in the car, out in the stroller or at home watching a movie. Sometimes my kids would fall asleep at these times but I stopped putting them down for naps because they would not sleep at night.
D.

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D.G.

answers from Anchorage on

my 2 1/2 yr old did the same thing and since i just had a newborn at the time, i needed a nap! i have since done this.. read stories and tuck him into bed after lunch for "quiet time" if he isn't asleep in an hour he gets up. every so often he will fall asleep. it did take some time for him to understand what quiet time meant, along with a few swats. i don't usually give him books, but he has stuffed animals he plays with. it seemed if i had the attitude that it was ok if he didn't nap then i had a better feeling about it. i have to admit, i like it when he naps. he'll sleep for 2-3 hrs...but then will take that much longer to go to bed at night. if there isn't a nap, he's out like a light! good luck!

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A.E.

answers from Portland on

Hey C.- You already have a lot of good advice. And this may be a repeat but....in addition to outdoor and/or heavy physical activity, I would suggest trying for a nap sooner in the day. I see some people suggesting 2:00 for a naptime. In our experience, that's too late because it pushes bedtime too late for our tastes. My 2-year-old gets sleepy around noon after waking around 7:30. As with all children, the longer we push her past her natural sleepy brain, they start getting amped on adrenaline....which makes it harder for them to fall asleep. The physical activity is key to getting this earlier naptime. Do you pay attention so the first sleepy signs you witness? (rubbing eyes, a yawn, crankiness, glassy-eyed stares)...and start ramping down for the nap? If you catch those signs right away, the adrenaline won't kick in and the kid will have an easier time going to sleep. I am thankful my little girl sleeps every day still. I relish the breaks. I hope you get your breaks back!! Good luck. A.

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M.B.

answers from Spokane on

OMG Nursing at 2 and 1/2 never heard of that I work at daycare and all of our 1 2 3 and 4 year olds take a 2 hour nap.

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H.M.

answers from Portland on

I hear it's normal to give up naps anywhere from 2-5 years of age. My son is 3-1/2 and still sleeps hard for 2 hours most days. My daughter, on the other hand, gave up naps at age 2-1/2 after having only sporadic napping habits for six months. She seemed to still really need her naps, and -on days where she didn't have one- she got really crabby in the evenings.

I had just given birth to my son and really a break in the afternoon and to have a nap myself. So instead of focusing on her sleeping, we insisted that she have some "Quiet Time" in her room, by herself, with the door shut. She didn't have to sleep, but she had to stay quiet in her room. Especially if I played soothing music, she oftentimes went to sleep on her own. Sometimes I had to remind her that Quiet Time was for quiet activities only. I also invested in some books on tape, a StoryReader, a Magnadoodle, and some other games/toys that she enjoyed playing quietly. That really seemed to make a difference for all of us. She definitely got something out of the "down" time, and we noticed a difference on the days when she didn't get even a Quiet Time. On the days where she didn't fall asleep, but she did get Quiet Time, she still was more rested and less crabby in the evenings.

Also, one trick we've used with both kids is to put their favorite toy to bed first. That way they didn't feel like they were the only ones getting put down for a nap. Sometimes we even played a little bit that their toy was being naughty, making too much noise or not wanting to lie down. Both my kids thought this was very funny, and if I told them that they were in charge of keeping kitty (or whoever) quiet during naptime, they felt like they had some control over things. At 2-1/2, getting to have some control is so important. So you might try to give your toddler some choices, like: Do you want to lie down with your kitty or your bear today? Do you want music or no music? Would you like to have a story or a back rub? (Back rubs really worked for my son, too!)

GOOD LUCK!

H.

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K.B.

answers from Spokane on

My 2 oldest stopped napping at 2. So, for my own sanity we instituted "quiet time," where they would spend an hour in their rooms quietly playing. Setting a timer for them helps too. Sometimes they ended up taking a nap anyway.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

My daughter was totally done with napping by her 3rd birthday, how sad for me! I still try and have some down time with her around the same time so she's not too cranky in the evening, I feel for you! It was also soon after I weaned her, not sure if there's any connection.

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

My son was like that too, when he was 3. At three I started just giving him naps a couple times a week because by Wednesday he would be getting grouchy. I think it all depends on how much sleep they get at night, if he is getting a good 10-12 hours a night he may not need a nap everyday.
Good Luck

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