When Did You Potty Train Your Child?

Okay, I've read so many potty training posts about children who aren't or won't potty train when they are 2, 3, some as old as 4. My kids were all trained by the time they were 2, completely. No time accidents either, unless they were sick. "Our" secret... first get a potty chair that sits on the floor. Introduce this as soon as they start walking. Have a few books in the bathroom for them to read while they do their business. Put all modesty aside and model the behavior you want to see, take them with you when you go to the bathroom. Yes, this means Dads and well as Moms and everyone is seated during their performances. This is how my parents trained all of us, and it worked beautifully for my kids. Next make sure that they can push their pants down easily, elastic waists, no buttons or zippers. Be prepared for heavy laundry for about a month or so, but it works. Reward them for their successes. Express disappointment if they ignore their bodies and don't get to the bathroom. Don't set them up for failure, before you leave to go anywhere, trip to the bathroom to empty their bladder and bowels. When you get to the mall, first stop is to the restroom. If they are dancing around in the store or restaurant, get them to the bathroom. You can't ignore them or wait until it's convienent for you. It's a now not later situation.

Kids love to emulate their parents, so give them the behavior to copy. You can teach good hygiene as well, by using a step stool for them to get up to the sink to wash their hands while you wash yours after you're finished.

I wish you well.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter started showing interest in the potty at about 1.5, but not enough to use it regularly, just a few times in the summer, while running around naked.
She is now a little over two and her interest fluctuates. She will sit on it a bunch but usually doesn't go - which is fine for me at this point.

There is no use pushing it, they won't be truly potty trained until they are developmentally ready anyways and that can be different between children.
Most of my nieces were potty trained by 3 and it took about a week (of course all children have the occasional accident afterwards). My youngest niece was 4 and it took her a long time to stay dry at night - her body just wasn't ready for that step yet.

Tell your relatives to back off and mind their own business.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hello S.-

I was a Nanny for many years and now I'm a parent coach. I've potty trained a lot of kids over the years, and this is what I've learned. Yes, children start potty training at very different times. Many boys won't start until 3.5 and be fully trained until 4.

You need to watch your son for signs. First, he will be dry for long periods of time. He will dislike his diaper, he will also know when he went in his diaper. Since he will have another child rollmodel, he will want to use the bathroom like Big Brother does.

Many family members and friends will try to force the issue, but honestly, if you force your son to train too soon it will be stressful for both of you. Just tell them you're waiting for his body to be ready. It's a process of his brain and muscles to work together, not laziness on either of your parts.

Good Luck.

R. Magby

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter was fully trained around 3 years old (able to go on outings with undies and sleeping through the night). Each child IS different and they aren't going to be 16 and still pooping in their pants.

Just shrug it off if people think they know better than you how your child should be progressing.

2 years old is young to be fully trained. I think you are doing just fine if you are starting to introduce it and have it available, but don't pressure him to learn.

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Hi S. - Tell the family to let you do your job as a mom as each kid potty trains on their own schedule. I have 2 boys & both trained different. One took until he was 3 1/2 yrs old & still had an accident here & there. My youngest took longer but when he was ready it happened almost over night and he had no accidents. I am one of 6 kids & the girls did it faster & the boys a little slower. Many older generations (including my grandparents) said they had the kids trained way younger than it really was (our memory about these things gets distorted as we get older - my mom even told me this). Again previous generations kids had cloth diapers & many of them played all day outside without shorts (ok - disclaimer - my grandparents raised my parents in the mid-west on farms, so it was not like today living in close neighborhoods or apartments).

The biggest thing I can tell you is to tell the family to (politely) to back off, if they dont ask them if they would like to keep your son & do the potty training themselves (not likely but it might get them to shut up & think). Just relax & let their comments roll off your back, it will happen when the time is right for each kid. God Bless

1 mom found this helpful

With my one twin, he was fully potty trained when he was about a year and a half old. he would sit on the potty if he had an inclination...get up and something would be there....I introduced the potty seat at about a year when they could walk and sit. we would read or just sit...and make noises so that they knew...then if they wanted to watch me potty, I would get up and show them then say "yucky" and make the face and flush that way they knew that it was not for playing with. When they went with dad for the first time for three days, he kept them in diapers and they reverted back to needing to train again. now the one twin is 9 and still has night time issues...but has gone through emotional stages where he was trained well, then not at all...peeing in kindergarten and not wanting to go to the bathroom. He finally got tired of having to change pants and be embarrassed in school and now he deals with waking up wet. He is a hard sleeper and we have tried all things in prevention or cure...he just wakes up and deals with it alone now...and it is getting fewer and farther in between. some folks have way better luck and it happens much sooner. What ever happens for you, I wish you patience. this is my story, the other twin trained and just got it over with at 4 and was done. He has no problems. It is also typical for children to revert back and forth for a while at these ages...

Don't let people give you pressure. It takes time and each child is different. I started "prepping" for training around 22 months, but my daughter didn't show true interest until about 26 months and has been fully day time trained about 3 to 4 months after we started. She just turned 3 in November and we are still not night time trained. I thought we were but then we weren't. I am not worried much about that. I think closer to 3 to 3 1/2 is a normal age for most children to be potty trained. Or at least that is what I have read. Each kid is very very different. If people keep asking, just ignore them. I don't know why everyone is in such a rush for kids to grow up.

You need to keep reminding yourself, like you said, that each child is different. My friend and I used to tell each other all the time "they're not going to go to kindergarten with diapers on... it will happen in time!" It seems that pediatricians are even recommending these days to introduce the potty around 18 months with seems ridiculous to me. My son had absolutely NO interest in the darn thing until he was about 2. And even then, he didn't GO on the potty until he was around 2 1/2. We let him go at his own pace. We'd offer the potty even though he was in diapers. If his diaper was dry and he actually went potty, we'd reward him. This system went on for a good couple of months and eventually we were noticing that his diaper was always dry when he went potty. That was when we put him in big boy pants. He was fully trained at about 2 months before his 3rd birthday. I had to keep telling myself that it would happen when he was ready. As a parent, we have an awesome ability to know what's best for our children. So keep it up... offer it to him (before bathtime seemed to be the best time to offer for our son) and don't push it. You're doing great! :)

It was around 3, give or take a few months. I didn't try until she showed interest in it first. One day she followed me to the potty and when I got through, she said, I want to go to the potty. I then pulled her diapers off and sat her on her potty and she went. When she did, I jumped up and down and acted like I was 12 and she laughed and laughed. Since then, she has always wanted to go and that is when it started. Now pooping on the potty has been a little bit of a difficult task and a little more training but it is getting better. She is 3 and 1/2 now.

We started talking about the potty just before our daughter turned 2. Then when she turned 2 we tried just putting her in panties to help her recognize what we were talking about, and learn her body cues. It was too soon and VERY stressful. We tried again a few months later but it wasn't until she was 2 1/2 that she really wanted to do it. Unfortunately for her her little brother was born just when she was about 90% trained so we scrapped it and revisited training about 2 months later. I was with my daughter at the store about to grab more diapers for her when I decided to ask her if she wanted to wear diapers or her big girl panties. She chose panties. So I asked her what kind of a reward she would like for when she keeps her panties dry and goes potty in the toilet candy or stickers? She chose stickers so we went and picked out a bunch of stickers, made and decorated a chart for the stickers and she's been in panties ever since. At first she was more "parent-trained" meaning I told her to go use the toilet every two hours and over the last 3 months we've transitioned to her being in complete control. We started with her own potty chair and more recently purchased a stool for use with the big toilet and for washing her hands by herself. She has since stopped having accidents at all..she will often disappear and I will wonder where she went not to hear "I go pee, mommy!" or "I go poo!" coming from the direction of the bathroom just a second later!

I have a friend who's sister in law is a great wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to raising children...she has 6. She said that potty-training went smoothest when they trained at 2 1/2 years old. I think for my son, we will talk about it, read "Everyone Poops", pretend that certain toys are going potty on the toilet, but not officially start training at 2 1/2.

He showed interest off and on for about 2 years (a day here, a week there, no interest for months at a time, then a day and no interest again) before our Ds was actually *physically* ready to potty train. He was 3.5, and daytime trained in a week. Nighttime training occurred about 6 months later, and happened over a weekend. No stress in either situation.

The nervous system has to completely rewire before a child can have conscious control, no matter how much they WANT to be in control, so there's no use in rushing. Also, because the nervous response is tied to emotions, the fastest thing to take AWAY conscious control is fear/excitement/stress. Even happens to adults. It's why we always have to pee right before a job interview, even though we just went

While I have known one or two very very young wobblers (18mo) who were potty trained the majority of parents I know IRL who claim their wee ones are trained that young, their kids actually AREN'T trained... the parents are. They watch their kids like hawks and leap up to take them to the bathroom, or have them go sit on the potty every 1/2 hour. Which is parent-training, not potty-training. If you can't afford diapers, that's one thing, but true potty training is accomplished once you don't have to do a durned thing.... they go on their own without having to be constantly monitored.

A trick on night time training, btw, is the opposite of conventional advice. :) We did it on accident (our Ds is hypoglycemic, so we always gave him about 12oz of warm milk as he was sitting in bed)... but more and more parents I've been meeting are doing it on purpose:

Instead of withholding liquid, get them to drink a LOT right before bed. That way the pressure on the bladder is unmistakeable, and their sleeping mind learns really really quickly to wake up, because of bladder pressure and then being soaked to the sheets. It causes 1 or 2 really wet nights (a mattress protector, and a stack of sheets and towels and ready to go jammies right by the bed make a quick/calm change super easy) and *poof* night time trained.

It's something to consider though... do you really WANT your 1.5 year old wandering the house at night? Even if he was one of the teensy minority who's physically ready (and there's nothing special about being ready early, just luck of the draw), do you WANT them getting out of bed and heading into a room where it's possible for a younger child to slip and hit their head on a hard surface or to drown? And of course, that's if they only get up and use the toilet, and don't start playing alone in the middle of the night on their own. Those were both active considerations on our part before we started potty-training.

Stick to your guns! He'll be ready when he's ready. If everyone is pressuring you, don't hesitate to politely tell them that he will be ready when he's ready and that you would appreciate it if they would allow you the space to do what you need to do as his parent. *hug*

Our daughter was about 2 years and 4 months when she started showing interest. But when we tried to keep it up, she resisted. We tried all sorts of bribes and nothing worked. It's true what they say about them having to be really ready to go. What finally worked was letting her know she could graduate to the big kid class when she used the potty. She hasn't looked back. uses the potty all the time and hardly ever has an accident. It took about 6 months from the time we started to actual potty usage. Spending time with her cousin worked too. It seemed like they had a little competition for attention going on.

By the way, if you're planning on having another one, we started our 5 month old on the potty at the same time as our daughter. he is now going regularly in the toilet. It's called EC or Elimination Communication. You can do it part time. Having gone through the big struggle with my 2 year old daughter, I decided to get started early with my son. Not only am I saving a ton on diapers and wipes, but I am sure when the time comes, he is not going to have issues with the toilet the way my daughter did. He knows where pee and poo go!

My son didn't potty train until he was 4. I tried a number of things to encourage him (rewards, stickers, candy, etc.) and nothing interested him or worked. I got pregnant when he was between 3 and 3.5 and just decided to wait until after the baby was born to try harder. Just before his 4th birthday he announced that after his birthday he wasn't going to wear diapers anymore. And he didn't. Never had a single accident, including nights, just went straight to underwear.

While I hated waiting that long and felt like a failure because of it, it was the easiest thing ever! My daughter is now 3 and isn't interested either. We've tried a number of things with her and it has only made her more resistant to the idea. I'm really hoping we don't have a full year in diapers with her, but at the same time I sure saw the advantage to waiting until my son was ready. I'm going to keep encouraging her but not pushing it so when she's ready it'll happen and be easy for both of us.

Don't know if that helps you at all, but that's how things have worked for me. Good luck!

S.,

With my son we started at 2 years old, like the daycare wanted. We did everything the wrong way, had 2 major life changing regressions and finally at 4 1/2 or so when he was too big for even the size 7 (hard to find) pampers diapers did we finally get him potty trained.

That being said, we're still half-heartedly trying with my daughter right now, she'll be 3 in March. I would dearly love to get her out of diapers last week (I've been changing diapers non-stop for 6 years now), but I also know from my son that pushing this issue in any way is going to backfire with disastrous results.

Stick to your guns, and ignore your family. This is one place where HE has to decide he's ready. If you push he will resist and make it a total nightmare and a half.

Hope this helps,
M.

Dear S.,

First off, great job recognizing your son will do it in his own time and that's okay. You've made it through the process once and you'll do it again when the time is right. Try not to feel bad about the pressure you're feeling from your family. If you can do it in a pleasant way, ask them to back off. Let them know you are more than willing to let your son be ready before trying so you don't have to force him and have a bad experience as a result.

We are actually six (or seven?) days into the potty training process at my house right now. My son is nearly 27 months old. For the past several months we've been reading books about going potty (No More Diapers for Ducky, Standing Up, Time to Pee - to name a few). We have also had a potty chair out in the bathroom for some time and he's seen both his father and myself go to the bathroom countless times.

We really just waited until our son seemed interested in going to the potty before starting. He was very curious about what we were doing bathroom, was visibly uncomfortable after going in his diaper, and had friends of a similar age who were potty training that he saw and wanted to copy.

Our rewards include candy (an M&M for peeing, and a bit of candy cane for pooping), stickers on a chart we have (he got to help put them on after each attempt), and plenty of encouragement. We've had some good days and some bad but that's to be expected. And we try not to be negative. Oh, and he gets no real pressure from us. I learned this one the hard way, pushing him just made him stubborn.

Good luck! And try not to let those family members get you down. They mean well but clearly don't understand the process or they wouldn't be bugging you.

Best,
C.

My oldest son was right around 3, my youngest (just turned 2) we are starting out no pressure potty training. Just having him sit on his potty at every diaper change and anytime he seems to act like he may need to use the toilet. I feel the more pressure you give the kids the more they resist.

Do you mean he is going to be 3 in April? Because if he is under 2, that is still very young to potty train. Also, most boys are trained closer to 3.

Wow, can I relate to this one. My daughter had no interest in the potty until 3 yrs old. I was so tired of hearing "well so and so was potty trained at 18 months." Just stick to your guns. My son is now 2 and I am just waiting to hear the potty comments again. I worked like crazy with my daughter and she just finally "got it." Hang in there and don't worry about what people say. Just keep trying and he will get there on his schedule, not everyone else's.

My son started potty training at about 2.5, and was done a few months after his 3rd bday. Prior to that he just wasn't that interested. At first we offered treats and lots of praise for "trying" (just sitting on the potty pretending) and eventually for being "dry all day!" or for pooping on the potty. My daughter just turned 2 and has been "dry all day" for 4 months or so. She was 1 when her brother was 3, so she got to watch the process (and the rewards) and wanted to be part of it.

Hey
My son is 25 month now and i just started potty training him.
I tried it when he was like 18 month old but he wasnt ready at all. It was more of a struggle. I can say everybody i talked to they started potty training they children by the age of 2-2 1/2 i think thats when they physically and mentally ready for it and when they are ready they can get the concept within two weeks. I wouldnt put to much pressure on that potty training, i mean every child learns how to use the toilet sooner or later whenever they are ready.

Well, I guess this isn't much help, but my daughter was in panties by 20 months, and going all by herself before the age of 3. I'm obviously therefore a big fan of starting early, before power struggles come into the picture. I know that's not very helpful now... I guess you could arm yourself with the stories of the other women here and just tell your family to bug off!