36 answers

When Did You Let Your Child Decide?

My daughter will be four next week. She has hair that is almost down to her butt. She asked if she could get her hair cut for her birthday. She said she wants her hair cut like her friends which is a shoulder lenght bob. Im at a loss because I love her hair. My SO is very against it because he loves long hair on little girls. At what age do you let them decide?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks ladies..i say she has a choice but my SO (her Dad) wants to keep it long..but it is a pain to keep all the tangles out..
Thanks again ladies...just to add, my SO isn't being a jerk about it or anything. He would prefer she keep it long BUT if she still wants it cut this weekend, I'm sure he'll let her. Maybe not cut all of it off but I bet he would be OK with about 5 or 6 inches.
**Well, we got him to agree to it after she looked at him and said "pretty pretty please Daddy"...lol! She now has shoulder length hair and has been very excited to show everybody.

Featured Answers

look at it this way,
she is little and it will be easier and cute for this age.
she will grow it out again someday. I love my childs
hair long too, but I would love it if she would get a bob.

8 moms found this helpful

it's her hair. i dont see that teaching her looks are of upmost important is a great lesson dad should be thinking of. I mean he's essentially saying you can't do what you want because i think you're more cute the other way. what happened to you're beautiful no matter how you look?

unless she wanted a buzz cut i'd let my daughter have a big role in her hair (i want to cut it, she's five and it's a pain with knots-she loves it long). afterall, it does grow back and it is hers.

7 moms found this helpful

i would NEVER force my own hair preferences on a child. i had sit-on length hair when i was 4 or 5. it was my mother's pride and joy. but we had daily battles and i wanted it cut, and she cried (and kept the pony tail in a little embroidered box) but she let me.
it's just hair.
she wants it for her BIRTHDAY.
let her get her hair cut!

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Do it. This is an easy wish to fulfill.

We had long hair growing up.. It was a pain..
My father would not allow any of us to get our hair cut, because he loved it.. .. The moment our parents got a divorce, we got our hair cut!!!!

It is her hair, she gets to decide. Honor her wishes and let her know her wants are valuable and important and she has control over her body.

14 moms found this helpful

My kids have all had free reign over their hair length as soon as they were old enough to have an opinion. My oldest son had long hair from grades 3-6 then voluntarily went short again. My 6 year old is trying to grow his out but usually gets aggravated enough at some point to ask for a cut. My 8 year old goes from a wiffle to a boys regular.

It's her hair - let her get it cut. She can always grow it back if she wants to. My SD's mother wouldn't let her cut her hair for years because she (the mom) liked it down to her waist. It was ridiculous, out of style and hard for her to maintain. She hated sitting to have it brushed and having to put it in braids and pony tails to keep it out of her way. When she was 11 I took her to a salon and she had more than a foot cut off and has kept it just below her shoulders ever since.

It's not your hair or your husbands - let her make this choice.

13 moms found this helpful

when they can voice an opinion they get a say in it.

12 moms found this helpful

At what age? NOW. It's her hair, not your SO's.

Come on, should you (and your SO) be attaching so much importance to hair, and ultimately to looks? It is really unhealthy in many ways not to let her cut her hair. And it's a little creepy that your SO (her father?) cares so much about her hair.

Let her cut her hair.

edit: Saw your what happened - okay so your SO is her father, which makes it unlikely that he is a child molester. But really, it is not his business to force her to keep her hair long, just because HE likes it that way. That's WAY out of line, in my opinion. What is she, his little toy?

Tell dad "sorry, but she gets to decide on her own hairstyle. She has to live with it, not you."

Reading the responses below: What's up with all the dads who insist that their little girls' hair stay long? I'm sorry, but that just screams of chauvinism and objectification to me, and it's extremely irritating. What the heck.

The more I think about this issue, the more infuriated I get, so I have to get off this website, NOW.

12 moms found this helpful

It's her hair. She gets to decide. Give your SO a doll so he can admire the long hair - that is what he is treating her like.

11 moms found this helpful

Are you kidding me?
It's hair.
WTH does a (straight) man care about hair anyway?
I'm sorry but I just don't get it.
Is your "SO" her father, if not then he has no say one way or another :(
I like hair and makeup and fashion and shoes and ALL that, but little girls should be free to find their way.
If she wants shoulder length hair, who cares, IT'S HER HAIR, give her some sense of independence, personality and pride.

9 moms found this helpful

look at it this way,
she is little and it will be easier and cute for this age.
she will grow it out again someday. I love my childs
hair long too, but I would love it if she would get a bob.

8 moms found this helpful

This isn't about your SO. It's not his hair. Why do men think that it should be their choice what a female's hair should look like?

What length is YOUR hair, A.? Is it down to your butt? If it isn't, why? If you don't like your hair that long, then understand that your daughter doesn't like her hair that long either. Let her decide. It's her hair.


8 moms found this helpful

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