What to Do with an Almost 2 Year Old and Soon a Newborn!

My daughter has the same problem with her soon to be 2 yr old son. He is going throuh a stage of definance. Her next baby is due in October. She is a her wits end because he does not listen to her. She is pretty upset about his lack of minding her. L. D.

T.,
I own an indoor play room here in Schertz. Maybe one day you can stop by and look around. It is very age appropriate for him. my website is www.mypartystation.com if you are interested.
Thank you.
C. Cooper

Interactin with some other kids may be your simplest solution :}

Hi T.,

You are doing the right thing by getting a schedule. I found that I had a much easier time sticking to a schedule with two kids because I had no choice. Look for a good playgroup and that will help as well. I was worried about the same things as you when I was about to have my second child, but it all just fell into place. It was more stressful for me than it needed to be. Don't stress to much about it. Just enjoy the last few weeks that you have with your son.

My husband is AF as well. Go AF!!!

Also, if you need a place for him to play, I just opened up Fiddlestiks indoor playworld on Culebra. The website is www.fiddlestiks.com. We have a military discount and we have specials throughout the month.

Congrats on the new baby!

Boy, have I been there, too. I took my first son to the Children's Museum often, as well as library storytimes, bookstore storytimes, free music in the park- type events, wading pool, or playdates with friends who also had little ones. Even bringing a newborn along (my first two are 23 months apart) worked pretty well while I wore baby in the sling. It was tricky keeping everyone feed and on nap schedules, but you'll be fine. Grab a copy of Parent:Wise, Austin and see what is in the calendar listings. I always see lots of activites...it's getting out of the house that's hard! (ha ha) Just never be in a hurry and you can do anything!
Now I have three, and although I keep thinking it'll get easier (once they are walking, once they can all participate in whatever, etc.) it was pretty cool just having one to carry and one to watch. Sleep deprivation will make getting out harder, but not forever. If it makes you feel any better, I've been hibernating lately, too. Just too hot to do anything but swim, and that's so hectic with three little boys...we do go, but it does me in.
Anyway, enjoy your babies!

P., SAHM with boys 7, 5, & almost 3!

You are doing a great job. Your whole family is being effected by the new baby, Even though he/she is not born they are still right there with ya'll. Your son senses the change and is trying to adjust. It is also very hot. Try to have an early dinner and go to the park after dinner to avoid the heat of the day or try a spray park. Is there still one on Chapel road? When my youngest baby was a newborn it was a life saver because the older kids could play and I could watch while holding the newborn.

Most of all take it easy. Your kids have what they need. They have a mother that cares the rest is just extra.

When my daughter was 2, we NEEDED to keep going places because we'd both drive each other crazy! (She is actually better at entertaining herself now at almost 4.) A lot of families around here make use of the children's museum because it's indoors. If you are comfortable carrying your newborn in a sling, it's doable with both kids. Yearly memberships are great because with 2-year-olds, it's easier to go bunches of times for just an hour or so rather than paying a big admission fee and trying to stay all day.

Although I don't have 2 kids, when my daughter was 15 months old, I kept my friend's 5-month-old for a semester while she worked. I think the hardest thing was getting both kids in the car to go places (we don't have a garage, so it was hard not having the older one run into the street when I put the baby in the car), but once I made a schedule, the at-home time clicked into place. Unfortunately, they did not nap at the same time!

Hi T.,
he just has a case of cabin fever from the heat ,,,try getting him a little wadding pool for the afternoons and put it so you and new baby can sit in shade and watch him ,,,he is just at the age where he thinks he can do it by his self,,,let him be very involved in the new baby ,so he want be jealous ,,,he can pick cloths for the baby to wear , give it lil toys ,,,let him hold the baby only when you and him are sitting down,,but being outside is good for new baby too
good luck L.

Hi I also have a two year old and a 5 week old baby. It has not been easy. They both want your attention at the same time. I give into the the one who has the greater demand at the time. Also when the baby sleeps I make special time for her..She drives me nuts sometimes and we are still fixing the glitches. but I am sure within a couple of months this will get easier.
Goodluck hope all goes well,
M. K

Yip this is a difficult little age because everything goes about what the toddler wants and he feels something is amiss if they don't go that way, plus he is short of language skills, so will end up frustrated if you don't understand his needs or wants and usually throw a wobbly. He wants to be independent but of course does not have the skill or maturity. Play with him as much as you can but do set boundaries and stick to them. He will "try you" but if you are always firm about the same things which YOU want and need him to do, and don't back down - he should get the message in time for the birth of your new baby. Start including him now in the process by getting books to prepare him and speaking often about the new baby so that it doesn't come as a shock when the baby arrives - and don't forget to tell him that the baby is bringing him a present - get it ready - something he really wants - and have the baby "bring it home" with him/her when they first meet and new baby will be very popular!

Do you have a little blow up swimming pool he can splash in? The best piece of advice someone ever gave me was "If they're cranky-put them in water." If you don't want a baby pool- give him a bowl of water and a paintbrush- let him "paint" the driveway. Turn on the sprinkler in the grass and let him run through it. My middle child was born in September and I know that I went through 3 or 4 maternity swim suits that summer- we stayed on the steps of the pool almost every day- me like a beached whale and my 3 yr old son splashing next to me. Or go to a fast food place and let him run through the play area. That was my saving grace when I had little ones. Air conditioned- you get a (soft) drink- he gets exercise.

I feel your pain. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old. And yes, I think it is because he is almost 2. My son was 2 years old in behavior from 17 months and still is. We go through weeks of terrible two days and then have some days of wonderfulness. There are days that I am glad bedtime is around the corner.

Now the good news, even on the days that my son is acting like a very active two year old, he loves his brother and wants to help me. I have found that he gets in less trouble when he feels needed. So he has jobs that are his to do and feels important to do them. When he is starting to get to active, I will ask him to help. In the past several months, I have had to be more invovled to keep his behavior in the right direction. I just keep telling myself that it will get better.

I don't know if this is something you would consider, but in the afternoons (after nap, before dinner) I go to the gym. The gym I go to has free child care. My little one is almost two (in August) and I'm due with our second in September. So we sound like we are in the same boat. All I do at the gym is walk on the treadmill for a while and stretch for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, she is running around their inside playscape and playing with their toys and other kids. It just breaks up the day for her, keeps me limber, and takes up an hour or so. Once the baby comes, I figure I'll need to come up with something else. We've also tried RadiJazz (inside play area) and that works well. There are places to sit on the side and nurse your new baby. I've seen many moms do this.

My daughter is 2 1/2 and I just had a baby boy 2 months ago. I was really worried about the transition too and we do have our bad days, but for the most part, it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had my mom here for a month, so that helped since my daughter got one on one attention most of the time from her, but all it really did was delay reality. My daughter has still had to adjust over the past month to having someone who shares my attention. My biggest problem has been that we're potty training her too, so she uses that to get attention and it's very frustrating.

My best advice would be to try to spend as much one on one time as possible with your older child, especially in the beginning since the baby will sleep a lot of the time (hopefully). Also, have the older one "help". My daughter likes to help get baby brother dressed, get diapers for me when I change him, help with laundry, etc. Keeping him involved will work wonders.

Someone else mentioned having a present to give the older child from the baby. We did this too and it was great! I also would recommend a Parents Day Out or similar program for your son. My daughter gets to go play with her friends and she LOVES it! This also gives me time with the baby. If you can afford it, it does wonders for their social skills. We also belong to a play group and do story time at the library. Getting them out of the house sometimes helps with what seems like the boredom that sets in. I know this will all be hard at first, but you will be surprised how quickly things fall into place.

Best of luck with your delivery!

T.,

Congratulations on your little bun!
I have three little boys who have all done the same thing. They go through a phase of wanting me to be with them and do thing for them. My youngest(20 months)is doing it right now. I try to tell him that he is a big boy and he CAN do things on his own. Keep encouraging!
I do admit it is probably easier for me because my little one has two brothers to keep him occupied, but if you need to do stuff, tell him what you need to do and where you will be if he needs you. Then spend fifteen minutes or so with him between chores. OR if it is an easy task he can help you. Sorting laundry is easy and it helps with color recognition.

When baby comes stress that it is his baby too, that he is a big brother, and can help take care of the baby. Involve him as much as possible so he doiesn't feel left out. He can bring clean diapers or throw away the dirty ones and play peek-a-boo. Emphasize all the things he can do. It will make him feel special to know that he is helping and doing a good job. Little boys love to be praised!

Good luck. You can do it.

When my daughter was nearly 2, her baby brother came. She was the best helper in the world! I found that if I had her participate in house cleaning and chores, she was happy as a clam. You may be suprised at how helpful a 2 year old can be(especially when you are pregnant and have a hard time reaching things on the floor!) When baby came, she would help by getting diapers and singing to him and rocking him in his cradle, etc. What worked well with my daughter was telling her how big she was and how proud I was of what a great helper she was. I now have 3 (ages 6, 4 and almost 2).They keep each other entertained and can help alot with the house work. Life is pandamonium, but also great fun. It does fall into place, but it takes a while to get smoothed out. Good Luck!

Well I'm not sure if I have any good advice, I'm there now. I have a 2 yo girl and a 9 mo boy. All I can say is that I make sure I am spending one on one time with my daughter while my baby is sleeping. oh and if you're into reading a great book is Playful Parenting by Lawerence Cohen. it has really helped me a lot in dealing with my daughters beginngings of independence "terrible twos"...

First, congratulations on being a mom who cares about her child's development and his level of interest in activities. It sounds like he may be ready for small group activities, such as library story time, play group, gymboree, kinder-gym, etc. He may need the social stimulation and development being with kids his age. If you want referrals for these activities in your area call me ###-###-####). Does he have cousins or neighbors his own age he can play with?
Second, if you don't already have a have a plan in place for relatives or family friends to be with your son in the weeks and first few months following the birth---to give him alone time with an adult so his feelings relative to being unable to spend as much time with you as before are reduced, consider asking for that to be created. And a plan to have someone be with the baby for small periods of time so you can be with your son, as well. Through going over photos of him as a newborn, you may be able to help get him prepared for the arrival, though he's very young and likely won't "get it" until the baby is right in front of him. I have a small number of tip sheets or articles for you regarding sibling rivalry (which is normal and a necessary growth time) and the birth of a new child I'd like to send by email or in the mail, if you'll provide me with your address.
Good luck!

Hi T.,

First, congrats! And second, it sounds like you are already doing a lot of things that help (rotating toys, playing outside when possible, etc.). I think the short answer to your question is yes, he's clingy probably because he's two and probably because he knows the baby is coming soon. My daughter was 21 months when my son was born, and like most other responses, it was a tough time in our house too. I'll give you the best advice I was given -- you won't know how it works out when the second baby arrives, but it DOES work out. That said, we tried very hard to keep our daughter on the same schedule once the baby arrived, and we did have to adjust some, but we figured consistency was best for her. I think it did help. She too was in a clingy phase, which got far worse once the baby arrived -- as expected, but still not easy! -- but eased up after a few weeks when she realized we still loved her too. We also tried to give her some one-on-one time when we could (like when the baby napped). Another thing that helped us was our neighbor -- she would take our daughter for an hour or so during the day and play with her, again just some "special" time for her. Gave me a break too! Probably the best thing we did, which I would encourage you to do, was start our daughter in a day school about three months after the baby was born. It helped her meet other kids, it helped her get some time to just be a two-year-old and play, and it really helped her develop her confidence and (in our case) her language. Oh, one other piece of advice which helped us -- have the new baby "give" your son a present when your son first meets him/her at the hospital or at home, however you choose. Our pediatrician told us that, and it worked great! Kind of like an "ice-breaker". :-) Best wishes!!

I have a 13- month old and will have a new little on in about 4 1/2 months. My son is so energetic and he loves to be outside. We go outside in the morning and in the evening, as for the middle of the day, I refuse its so hot. We will go to the pool, the mall, out to eat(like Mcdonalds, Incredible Pizza) where he can play. I think it helps so much to be able to go somewhere everyday, if not every other day. It wears him out, and makes the days more fun and not drag out. I am sure there are lots of free activities to do if you look around. I am working on making some friends with kids his age so that he can start to have play dates!