What to Do When a Spouse Dies.......

Updated on October 06, 2008
K.G. asks from Pompano Beach, FL
6 answers

My husband passed away last week after 2 weeks in intensive care....prior to that he was healthy. He had just turned 46! Anyway my question is, is there anyone out there who has had a similar experience suddenly losing a spouse....my brain is foggy and I don't want to forget anything important. I mean, I'm making funeral arrangements and all (which I would also like advice about that...for example if i need to have a luncheon after the funeral, there could be 20 people or 500; I would need to find a place in the Coral Springs area that could accomodate that....I thought of Super Buffet but they are closed for "vacation"!!), but in terms of getting social security for the kids and other little details like returning his car (lease), you see I don't want to forget anything so if you have any ideas I'd be glad to hear them!

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M.M.

answers from Miami on

I am very sorry to hear that your husband has passed and so suddenly. My dad who lived with me for 7 years and was the childcare provider for both my kids as a single mom died suddenly recently and although it’s not a spouse he was like a father to my children and I counted on him for allot of things so his death has had a huge impact on our lives. The best Funeral Home and the least expensive I will list below. I called about 20 different places and people were rude and cold and wanted to charge an arm and a leg for the same thing. They are called Premier Funeral Services and are located in Lake Worth and Fort Lauderdale but handle funerals in the tri county area. When you call ask for John his number is ###-###-#### and ###-###-####. He is a very kind man and even came to our home to meet with us there and get everything taken care of.

As far as a place to meet afterwards I would recommend you look at the Marriott on Coral Ridge north of the sawgrass. You can have food catered and be sure that you have enough space for 500 people. They have very large ballrooms and conference areas and they are not too expensive. Regarding Social security you need to take the death certificate and go to the local SS office in your area with that and make the needed changes.

The closest one to you is:SOCIAL SECURITY
BLDG 2, SUITE 7A
2301 W SAMPLE ROAD
POMPANO BEACH, FL 33073
1-800-772-1213

If your husband had life insurance you will need to contact your agent and send them a copy of the death cert also to claim any benefits.
There are so many other things but I think this is the most important. I hope it helps you a bit. I also know of the grief counseling at Calvary Chapel and I think its a great way to talk with others in a supportive environment while receiving wise council.
God Bless you and the family!

2 moms found this helpful

J.D.

answers from Boca Raton on

My condolences! I have not experienced this, but of course look into his life insurance...Also make sure his death certificate CLEARLY states his cause of death so you do not have any problems with his will, and insurance.....are you away of any secondary policies from his job? etc? Military? Bank accounts.....were you on all accounts with him? How about his 401K from his job, stocks? It's going to be quite overwhelming, maybe you can get a family member to help you through it all..................

I found this site for you:
http://www.gofso.com/Premium/LE/19_le_lo/fg/fg-Death_Spou...

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Miami on

K.-

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I can't even imagine what you must be going through day to day. I don't have any practical advice to give but after I lost my mother a few years back I went to a support / grief group called Grief Share through Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale. It was amazingly helpful. Basically, you meet together weekly, watch a video/teaching and then the best part is breaking up into support groups. They will pair you together with other women who have lost their spouses. The support is wonderful...I think most people find it easier to talk to people who have been through the same thing they have. If you want more information, you can call the church at ###-###-#### and ask for Grief Share.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Miami on

First off, I just want to say that I am sorry for your lost.My deepest and sincere condolences. God will never leave you comfortless. I don't, nor can I relate to your lost or what you maybe going through. If you need someone to talk to just write. If you need help in making calls, I would like to offer my help. Or if you just need to talk. I don't share a lost but I do know someone who went through something similar. Her husband passed in his 40's and left her with 3 children. She did have to handle the life insurance and I think he also had a lease car and also 2 home that she had to manage.

I think it is great and it does show strength that you are reaching out. It is better than holding back. I am sure you have friends and family, but if you need a litte extra help please let me know. I am a single mom of a preteen boy and a 9 year old girl.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Miami on

K.,

I would like to first say how deeply sorry I am for you and your family. I also have not had to go threw this situation myself, But my Aunt did about 7 years ago. One thing I clearly remember was her speaking of two instances which made her life easier during that foggy time she also went threw. She told me about how American Express wiped their account clean and did not have her pay the little balance they had with them (about $300) it was a joint account, so that was helpful to her. My uncle also had a leased Ford Ranger that I think he had for just over 6 months at the time, so the lease was no where near being time to be turned back in. She called up ford credit and they just asked her to provide them a copy of the death certificate, and asked that she drop the car off at a local Ford service station, she took it to the one on Royal Palm and 441, I think its Maroone Ford. I hope this helps…I wish you all the best, in these trying times…

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Dear K.,
I am soooo sorry for your loss. I have not lost a husband, but have suffered grief and I can tell you this. You are numb and your adrenaline is pushing you to be thinking only about the logistics, but you should enlist the help of others to assist you with the logistics and hold your kids tight. If you model that super efficiency and no emotions now while you are numb, neither you nor your kids will know how to process the flood of emotions when it comes. Let your kids see you cry, let them see you scream at god, or whatever your anger and frustration wants to do. Let them know that you are on top of things and they will always be safe and cared for, but also let them know that you are scared and sad and angry and everything else. Because what they do with their feelings will come from what you model and you don't want them to suppress them because that will be worse later.
All the best to you and your kids.

1 mom found this helpful
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