What Role Do Your Inlaws Play in Your Life?

We don't have a relationship. We don't ever see them and they aren't interested in being grandparents or being involved. I wish it were different, but its not. No, we can not share ANYTHING with them.

I won the lottery with my husband and his family. They are nice NORMAL people that I can sit and talk with forever UNLIKE my mom and dad (IF they are together.) My dad is 'normal' if my mom isn't around to micromanage the conversation otherwise it's a "one up fest" with my mom dominating the conversation. Exhausting...

Not close. They do not know us at all really because any information they get is used against us and twisted in the most negative way.

If I could change them I would make them mentally healthy with appropriate boundaries. Or I would move totally across the country.

They are so outrageous that 3 different people pulled me aside at my wedding and reception to tell me to move away from them.

They are terrible grandparents. They "forget" to get my daughter gifts, but remember others. They are very critical and can not be trusted. Sad

Not real thrilled with mine right now. Some damage has been done and I don't have that warm and fuzzy feeling for them like I used to. They haven't been the best of grandparents in the last several years to our kids. Unfortunately they play favorites and always have. Its just now gotten totally out of control. Its sad really.

My in-laws are absolutely amazing and I know how very lucky I am, because I often hear of and see horror stories.

Mine live about 5 miles away...they are absolutely wonderful parents to their three kids (my husband), have welcomed me and their other daughter in law and son in law into their family with open arms and treat us as their own. Their family values are similar to my family's in that family comes first no matter what.

My son is their only grandchild and they absolutely adore him. There isn't a thing they wouldn't do for him or us to help. However, they are not over bearing and never over step their boundaries.

Again, I don't know what we would do without them and thank my lucky stars for finding my husband and his family.

unfortunately, we don't have a relationship with my MIL. So many so many reasons. and i have tried but once she started playing with my kids' feelings i decided she was not worth it. my family on the other hand adores my kids. we don't live on the same continent :) but when we se them my kids are showered with love and care.

I am proud to say my attitude towards my father in law has changed. My MIL passed before we got married and we live 4 hours from my parents. I used to think my father in law didn't care - wouldn't call, wouldn't come by, etc. I was so offended and didn't understand it. When I was pregnant, and of course hormonal, I really let it stew in me that he just didn't care. I prayed a lot about this and, once having kids, really watched him with them. My heart has softened and I realize he's not one to do the reaching out but he's ALWAYS been there if we either ask him for help, ask him to come over, or if we say we're going to come for a visit he's happy to have us.

The criterion I have for "sharing" things with them is directly based upon my willingness to have EVERYONE else in the family know "it" or not.

My MIL is a hypochondriacal, complaining, lazy, self-absorbed and dull. (And I AM speaking objectively!)
She makes very little effort to be emotionally close to our child.
I believe she is clinically depressed but she refuses professional help, though it's been offered many times.)

Our son is at the age now where he's figuring her out all by himself.
Her loss.

My FIL is a great guy, helpful, healthy and kind.
We see them every week or so...

I help them with things when they need help, and my MIL offers my FIL when we need help.

I love them, they're my in-laws! I don't "knock myself out" for them.
I am polite and respectful out of respect for my husband and our marriage.

My MIL and I go do things together often. Just this weekend when her son (still lives with her) came over to hang out with his kids she sent him with a wrap that she just bought me on her trip! A few weeks ago we got mani pedi's together and will probably go shopping again soon as spring is near. She and I get along well and when we all lived together (moving transition) we hung out a lot. She is a very busy woman works many jobs (she is a workaholic), mostly because she is in high demand for what she does and can command a good price for her work. My FIL and I are chummy, we can hold a conversation and enjoy each other's company just fine. His sister and I seem to get along well enough and I am not a big fan of his brother. The kids - that is another story, we get a long VERY WELL, but then again I can easily become a child when with children!

I love my in-laws. My MIL was actually my high school counselor. I have known them over half my life. My husband is an only child, so I know it was important for them to have a good relationship with me. We vacation with them every summer--we rent the same beach house for 2 weeks every July. We spend every Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. They live in FL and we live in KS, but we see them 4-5 times a year. My family lives in the same town in FL, so we see both families a lot. My in-laws are great to me and my kids. We do share a lot with them and appreciate their input on things like buying a house and investments.

My in-laws are worthless. My FIL only speaks to my husband when he needs something & my husband gives it to him b/c I think he feels it will help their relationship. They don't even acknowledge are childrens birthdays, no card, no call, nothing ,yet they have a list of what they want for holidays.

ES:

They don't. My MIL died on Mother's Day 2006. My husband's family is of the adage that no news is good news. Unlike my family, where we talk daily!

My husband, I'm VERY proud of him for this, is attempting to forge a better relationship with his father and calling him at 6PM every Sunday.

Other than that? nothing. He might remember to call or send something on Bob's birthday - hasn't done anything for Christmas or our kids birthday's.

My in laws are very nice. They are divorced, so that makes it hard sometimes. My MIL is single, and has her own business, so we don't see her very much. She is a good grandma though and always thinks of the kids and doesn't miss an opportunity to give them a gift. But we never see her. And she doesn't have them over. Get it? My FIL and his wife, are very nice as well. My FIL is always there for us, if we need anything. He has helped us with remodeling or whatever we ask. We are there for him as well. Our kids are scared of him a little, since he likes to yell and tell his opinion frequently. But my kids are older and understand that he is just crabby sometimes. But, we love him lots and see him frequently, and he comes over all the time. But he doesn't do stuff with the kids. Get that too? I will tell you about my mom, which is my husbands MIL. She calls the kids regularly, just to see how they are. How their day at school was. She was always there for all the games. She has them spend the night. She has all the grandsons over for sleep overs. She says hey lets go out to dinner, and takes all the teens out to dinner of their choosing. She is there for them and us, for whatever is needed. All you have to do is call. She was there when my boys were born, just like my dad was with my youngest one. He is gone now, but my boys still talk about him like he was the best grandpa in the world. And that is sad, since they have one grandpa alive still, that doesn't do anything much with them. But it is weird I can truly say that I love MY inlaws, and that they mean a lot to me, and I do feel close with them. It's just different with the kids.

I definitely feel like I lucked out in the IL department. MIL and FIL are both super caring and nice and I know I can count on them to watch the kids at a moments notice, three months planned out, overnight, etc.

MIL and I are very open with each other but do not talk much unless I call her or she calls me for something specific. I see FIL less since he works nights. MIL sees the kids usually 1-2x a month.

They are very open to moving around holiday times/dates so we can be there and also go to my parents who live close by.

I would not change a thing about my in laws!

I have two sets of in-laws. We are very close with one set of them, and it is because they make a huge effort to be involved. They offer to babysit, they drive down to our house or meet us halfway often so the kids can go stay with them (they live 2 hours away), they allow us to stay at their home often. They send gifts - treats, toys, clothing, food- often. They correspond via mail with the kids often. We go camping with them several times a year and have many family parties for birthdays and holidays. They treat me with kindness and respect. They treat the grandkids equally. They are, in short, wonderful. I am as close with them as I am with my own parents, but we actually spend more time with them.
The other set is not as "child friendly". We keep visits to them short because they seem a little stressed out by the kids. They do not call us or visit- they have been to our home once in the last 5 years. We have to call them or visit their home if we want to see them. When we call, we can count on leaving 5 or more messages before maybe receiving a call back. Letters are not answered. Birthday gifts, while appreciated, are usually 6 months late or more.
I think the difference is that for one set of the in-laws, the relationship with the kids and Grandkids is a top priority, and they show how important it is to them, and we reciprocate. With the others, the relationship comes across as a hassle and an obligation, and frankly, that is how it is reciprocated. Unfortunately! I do try to be polite though :)

I like my in-laws but I'm not close with them. I don't call to chat or anything like that. I keep them informed about major things. They baby sit on occasion. Both my husband and I say we should visit them more often but we just don't do so. No excuse except sheer laziness.

My husband is VERY close with his parents, especially his mom. They're divorced and live about 2 hours from us but come to visit at least 1 weekend a month. I like my MIL, she occasionally drives me/people nuts because she's the type to just come out and say whatever it is that she's thinking...before actually thinking.lol But, I see how much she loves the kids and they love her, so I'm able to deal with it because it's important for my kids to have them in their life.

My in-laws are like second parents to me. My FIL passed away 20 months or so ago and I miss him so much; he was truly the sweetest man alive. (A couple months ago I think he sent me a little "message" ... but that's a whole other story! :) Anyway, we live about 20-30 minutes away from my now-widowed MIL. She's a wonderful lady and has helped us tremendously over the 19 years that I've known her. Reading some of the posts on MIL's on this site in general, I know I'm blessed.

My FIL died in October. He was a wonderful man, and we miss him.

My MIL is a kind woman, but she is unusual. She lives several states away, but even if she lived here, I don't think we would be really close. We get along well, but she distances herself. She doesn't want to intrude, which is nice sometimes, but it makes it seem like she doesn't care (after almost 18 years of marriage to her son, I've learned she does care). She is not close to our children at all, and that makes me sad. She loves them, but she doesn't know them.

My husband is very close to my parents, all of them - birth parents, step-parents, etc. He goes to them for advice, goes to lunch with them, calls them, with or without me around. They are very close.

We don't have family drama on either side. I'm thankful for that.

Well, my husband's parents are divorced. He does not have a close relationship with his mother (or her side of the family.) I have never even met his stepfather and we've been married almost seven years. By his own admission, his mother is a self-absorbed drama queen and whenever she is around it makes my husband a miserable person to be around. Thankfully, we only see her a few times a year.

My husband, however, has a borderline "hero worship" of his father, which is frustrating for me because his father is an alcoholic with a case of Arrested Development. Seriously, my husband will admit to both of these things, but thinks that his father can still be a responsible grandparent when the situation calls for it. We only see him and his side of the family a few times a year as well, but my husband has all these fond memories of his childhood he keeps wanting to revisit. It is frustrating and heartbreaking for me when we make the attempt and he keeps getting disappointed.

I only met my MIL a few times before marrying her son and I had no problems with my FIL. He seemed like kind of a fun guy. Since having kids, though, I have more and more issues. I see where every irresponsible, annoying trait of my husband's comes from every time I am around them and it just grates on me. I feel badly for my husband, especially when I have such a close relationship with my family and I can't lie and say it hasn't been an issue in our marriage, but we are working through it.

For the most part, however, when my in-laws are around, it simply means more work for me. It is exhausting, but infrequent and often short-lived.

I was never fortunate enough to meet my in-laws. Both passed away many years ago so no matter what your relationship, you're lucky to have them.

We have a good relationship. Talk weekly and visit several times a year.

My first husbands parents were/are a hot mess. Literally no common sense. My son (their only grandson) was 3 1/2 months old before my FIL could bother to take off work (he was a min wage security guard) to come and see him. My MIL never really bothered with any of us. She was "nice" when we got together but didn't go out of her way at all. My kids are now 12 and 9 and they only see them when their dad needs a babysitter during his parenting time.

My new husbands mom lives out of state...thank God. I have only met her once, for 4 days, and that was enough to last a lifetime. She is mean and bitter and was not nice to my kids or her granddaughter when she was here. She took advantage of us at every possible moment and I was shocked at how she behaved. Luckily, we only speak to her a couple times a year and we email on occasion, just to "check in". She never married my husbands dad so I don't have a FIL.

I guess I'm lucky I don't have the mean MIL's that everyone complains about. I think that would be worse than having ones that don't care at all, although its a close call.