What Do You Think of This Birthday Invitation? UPDATED

Unspeakably rude LOL. What is WRONG with people? You don't mention gifts on an invitation, ever. You just don't. The whole "donate to a charity on the back of my child" things irritates me to death to but if people want to do it, I go along with it because as a guest it would be rude of me not to.

Honest to gosh I thought I had seen everything on an invite but this one goes into the poor taste hall of fame...

I think it is in bad taste. To suggest donations to charity would have been fine--but to do a 50/50 for a bike? Nah. Bad idea.

If it wasn't for the tacky people of the world, we wouldn't have these fine examples of tackiness to learn from!

Now I have heard it all!!! Doubt these people give a hoot for the charity-it was just their sneaky way of getting money instead of gifts so that they could buy a bike.

If you go bring a toy.

That is beyond tacky. I would not go and send NOTHING

We have had a party and participated in a couple of parties that were no gifts but for charity, however, NEVER NEVER suggested money. We did the local food pantry where everyone brought a can of food or something, the animal shelter where everyone brought something that could be used at the shelter.

You are not off your rocker.... they are super tacky

I think having the money to go to charity is a fine idea, but then to say that half will be to buy him a bike is really poor taste. I guess all those starving kids in Africa or families in need in Japan don't need THAT much money because apparently they think they need charity too!

Since your child won't be going to the party, you are under no obligation to send or give a gift. But maybe you could RSVP and let them know you will be sending a monetary donation to a charity of your choice directly.

Edited to add: just another thought...they could decide to spend less on having a party and put that money toward a bike. They could also see if they can find a bike on Craig's List or at a thrift store that is still in nice shape for really cheap money. My husband just found a bike with training wheels for our 3 year old at Salvation Army for $10.00 and it barely looks like its ever been ridden.

Tacky. Completely classless and tacky.

"Come to our party and *WE* will decide what gift is appropriate for our son!"

Ugh.

Here's a thought for those parents...tell your kid that he can have a party or a bike if they can't afford both. How much can a reasonable bike for a five year old cost?

It is thoughtless and beyond tacky to me...it is downright unacceptable. I would question whether or not ANY of the money wen to a charity if I received an invitation like that. Sounds more like a solicitation for donations to the party fund.

It is one thing to ask for donations to a charity in lieu of gift...but those donations should be made directly to the charity in the child's name. Besides...how would you get the tax benefit if you gave the donation to them?

I've had friends all go in with me for a big gift for my daughter. But it was THEIR idea and we are close. I would never dream of asking a stranger to contribute to my child's gifft

it's weird. I would never collect money to buy my child a gift from us. I am not saying I wouldn't go or anything, but I do think it is weird bordering on tacky...

Wow- super tacky!

I love the whole "charity" concept and we've been to several requesting donations in lieu of gifts, but to contribute to the kid's bike? What kind of bike are they looking at for a 5 yr old that would require "donations"????

When my son turned 1, my mother and MIL "spread the word" that he needed an outdoor playset and a "big boy" carseat to FAMILY ONLY and many came to the party with a card b/c his "family bought" him his swing set. Again, family ONLY not friends and definitely not "acquaintances"!!

Yeah, how do you know ALL of the money won't go to the bike? Completely tacky. Since you're not going, I wouldn't give any money.

OK -that is BEYOND tacky! I can't believe someone would solicit cash to buy their kid a bike! Hello -bikes for 5 year olds aren't expensive anyway. You can get them everywhere for $40-$100. How do they intend to take half of the money? Usually when you donate money to a charity, you donate it directly, and the person whose name you donate IN receives a notification. That person or family never sees the actual money, so I'm not sure how they plan to work this unless they're setting up a donation box at the party. Since you're not going, I wouldn't bother with a gift regardless (it's a kid's birthday party -not a wedding), but I certainly wouldn't do this even if I were going. If this were my son's classmate and we were attending, I would simply pick out a gift and take it.

Well, that's incredibly tacky! If I were going, I'd skip the charity donation and buy the kid some kind of cool bicycle accessory, horn, water bottle, license plate, etc. It still gives the child something personal and thougtful he can use, but sends the message you aren't interested in contributing to the "bike fund" That is not something those parents should have asked of their guests.

I think it's tacky too. Unfortunately no one seems to get this concept these days as many people do the tackiest of things and have no idea.........How about if they didn't have the money for a bike they simply have a small cake/ice cream celebration with immediate family/friends and use the money they spent on a birthday party for the bike (I guess I'm assuming they are having a large party at a venue in which they had to shell money out for).

Hmm, well, it has been asked on here several times about a birthday invitation and donations for charity. Since many of you think it is tacky to ask for half and half, how do you know when the person is asking for donations, that the money is really going to charity? I don't want to be negative about anyone but how many gifts get used after a party?? I have 3 kids (16,14 and 8) and I know they have opened many gifts simply because the giver wanted them to open it, and it rarely or never got played with. I would hate to think my money was wasted on something that just sits there or gets thrown out/given away without being played with. My 14 year old was good about not opening what she knew she didn't like and we always made a trip to walmart to return things, she would get a gift card and buy something she wanted. I think it is fine to donate money to a bike. I am sure a bike will get lots of use. You didn't say where the party was or how elaborate the party would be. We have spent little on parties in the past and the kids always had fun. Someone said, the invite assumes you will bring a gift, well, really who would go to a kids birthday party without a gift? So, while it could seem tacky, at least you know the money you are spending is going to be put to a good use, not a toy wasted sitting in the bottom of the toybox.

I do find it odd. IMO, you either ask for a donation to charity or you don't. If you don't, people probably will either bring a gift or give money (their choice). If you want to give to the charity, write a check so at least your whole check will go to the charity.

Yeah that is weird. It is rude to even assume he is getting a gift.
Charity is cool, the bike not so much,
Luci's mom is right how much can the bike cost? I can appreciate not wanting a bunch of cluttery toys, but really get a grip people.

I find it to be super tacky. (Although I am shocked that they would be as upfront about it rather than disillusion you to think it all went to charity. Of course what happens when 1/2 doesn't cover the bike. Will they use more of the proceeds?)

Personally I would not feel comfortable with the whole idea and would probably give a little token gift (toy not cash!) if you feel the need to give a gift at all.

Yes that's odd and misleading. If they wanted money to help with a gift, then they should suggest the purchase of gift cards to that store.

Yeah I think that is kind of odd. They are trying to get $$$ from you so that they don't have to spend their money. I have never heard anything like it. Bikes are not that expensive and how do you know if the balance of the money is really going to charity? If I were to go I would get a savings bond so that he had to wait for it to mature before they could get the money. Something really don't sound right there. Sounds like a scam to me.

Incredibly poor taste and rude. I would buy a gift anyway and attach the gift receipt to it. No one has the right on an invitation to tell you how you should spend or give your monies period.

Ok. It looks like I'm going to be in the minority here. I was invited to a party like this as well for a neighborhood friend- there is a website that sets the whole thing up for you. And at first, I thought it was very odd, weird etc. But after thinking about it and talking to the Mom- it made sense. AND she put that by no way was the donation mandatory, and if they prefer the standard gift that was fine too- he really wanted a fancy art easel. But for example, my son has (which seems like) 5 million toys all over the house, and I wouldn't necessarily want a bunch of new toys he may or may not like adding to the piles, but rather one cool toy that he really wants makes sense- and it it helps other kids in need- why not?

Just my humble opinion.... I personally wouldn't do it- but I understand it.

Ugh! Beyond tacky. Using a charity to ensure cash gifts is horrible. Insensitive as well, as it looks like they are using the charity name to promote their own agenda on the side.

I would give a standard birthday toy to the child IF I attended the party.

I actually think this concept is great. I have been trying to figure out how to most appropriately do this for my kid. She does not need a million more toys that she didn't really want anyway. Yet if I do all money to charity she may learn resentment for giving rather than being altruistic. We went to one last year where all the money went to charity and I actually felt really bad for the kid. It doesn't have anything to do with the parents means. Does that ever matter when you bring a birthday present to a party? My kid would definitely rather go pick out her own present any since she loves to save up to shop. This concept is win win by me but I have only found 2 sites that help split the donations and they rarely have a charity that she wants to pick. Plus these sites actually vet the charities so that is nice as well.
I can't believe how many people say this is tacky rather than think about teaching their kids to be charitable. Wow.

Could have been worded differently.

Perhaps:
XXX is really wanting a bike for his birthday so instead of gifts please consider adding your monetary gift to the money tree/what ever they want to call it. Any left over funds will be donated to XXX charity.

I think it's odd but maybe they are trying to teach their child about money so when he grows up he'll have good money sense. Or maybe they just can't afford to buy him a bike and it's the only thing he really wants.

I would RSVP no but still make a small donation, maybe $5 or $10 if I could afford it.