20 answers

What Do You Remember the Most About Your Wedding Day?

I'm the mother of a bride to be.. (November wedding!!) looking for your ideas on offering support for my daughter and general wedding day advice for us! What do you remember the most about the day of your wedding?

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I'm so appreciative of everyone who is taking the time to respond to this question. I can't tell you how much it inspires me and nurtures me to read all of your stories. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and I look forward to any other responses I get.

Featured Answers

My suggestion about her wedding day is to not let her take care of ANY of the problems or music or dj or anything! It will only stress her out and make her feel like she's still planning and not enjoying. Have there be a "go to" person and let all the major people in the wedding, like the dj and caterer know who that person is.
OTHER than that my favorite memory of my wedding is walking down the isle and seeing my husband for the first time!

1 mom found this helpful

I remember that I did not take much time to sit and just enjoy the beautiful, all caught up in the frenzy! I wish I could just go back and sit there in my beautiful dress on MY day and appreciate it!

Don't sweat the small stuff-who cares? Also, remember things-my sister had everybody waiting for her while someone went back to retrieve her shoes! And maybe an extra pair of nylons, tums, tampons, etc for her and the briesmaids.

Congratulations! Enjoy!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

There are 2 big things that I remember from my wedding day.

1. After doing the big walk down the aisle, we had the congregation sing a hymm (A christmas carol since it was a christmas wedding!) and I looked over at my husband and he was so nervous that he was frozen. I leaned over to him and whispered " I was so nervous that I forgot my underwear" He looked at me and said " do we need to go back and get them?" I just looked at him and smiled and he started to laugh at my joke and he was relaxed and calm the rest of the ceremony. I know that it sound unconventional - especially in a church! - but it relaxed him and now when things get stressed at home with the 4 kids - we just remind each other to not forget the underwear!

2. At the reception I had my bridesmaids form a barrier around me for about 15 minutes. The had strict instructions that nobody was to interrupt me or talk to me for that 15 minutes. During that time, I just sat at a table by myself and watched and drank in all the sights, sounds and smells. I can still picture that 15 minutes in my head and it is the best memory. I see my dad laughing with some friends, my mom dancing with my brother, the sounds of people laughing and having fun, my centerpieces on the tables, the cake and the scent of just having a wonderful meal still in the air. It was the best gift that my bridesmaids could have ever given to me and is one of my best memories.

Relax and enjoy the day. If something doesn't go as planned - your guests will never know, they just know that they had a wonderful time at your daughters wedding and will walk away with great memories of an enjoyable evening.

Good Luck!

S.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi Pam!
Mine is just simple . . .make sure she eats at the reception. I never sat down to eat (we didn't do a sit down dinner . . .only hors d' ovours). Had someone brought me a plate or something while I was mingling . . .that would have been lovely.

What do I remember?? That it rained and my beautiful outdoor wedding had to be postponed for an hour and a 1/2 (before I arrived) to move it inside . . .I know, I need therapy to get over this!!

Honestly though, what I remember is this: I had planned everything and stressed about the rain and had a great heart to heart with my dad in that hour and a 1/2 while we waited for the ceremony to be moved inside. Once we got there and the music started and we walked down the aisle, and saw my husband and I forgot about all the tears I had shed about what the flowers would look like or where everyone would sit and who was getting along (or wasn't) with who.

I enjoyed my day and took in every moment (even the rain).

Make sure your daughter doesn't stress too much. Nobody will remember the flowers, but they will remember if she was crabby! :-)

Have fun!
B.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Pam,

I don't know how useful my story will be to you since we eloped but I couldn't help but share.

We got married in Jamaica at Sandals resort. I'm not one of those girls who likes to be center of attention. It makes me very nervous and we both have very small families. Neither of our parents could afford to pay for a large wedding and we chose this route because we really wanted to start off right and buy a house, not an extravaggant party. I don't begrudge those who want the big traditional wedding and I have been to some beautiful, speacial weddings that were wonderful but I wouldn't change what we did for anything.

I remember waking up in our beautiful resort suite that morning and sitting on the balcony watching the ocean come in and out. I then left my husband-to-be for a morning of manicure, pedicure, make up and hair. We got dressed seperately, I in my simple but beautiful white gown and him in a gorgeous tux. We walked together to the wedding destination after speaking to the priest provided to us. The ceremony was on the ocean in a flower filled gazebo on a gorgeous sunny day. We had a small cake and chamaign immediately after and some really beautiful pictures in different locations on the grounds.

It was simple and beautifull. In hindsight it would have been nice to have our parents there but on the flip side what's really special about those memories is also that it was just us. No distractions, no planning other then a couple phone calls, no one to worry about pleasing, nothing to really go wrong and the day was just about the two of us. To us, it was a beautiful, private moment where we committed ourselves to eachother for the rest of our lives.

Maybe not everyone's cup of tea but perfect for us and if I could do it over again I really don't think I'd change one single thing about it.

Congrats to your daughter on her wedding and all I can say is that people get so wrapped up on "the day" rather then what that day really means. This November will make it 8 years for my husband and I. We may not have focused on having a big wedding but we've made sure to focus on having a strong marriage. That's what's really important!

1 mom found this helpful

Try to keep everything in perspective. I was married four days after 9/11. I sat in front of the TV that night, assembling my programs and watching the news with shock. We had many, many guests who were not able to make it to our wedding because of flight cancellations - including two groomsmen and some of my closet friends. As I was getting stressed out about fielding all the phone calls from people who couldn't make it, rearranging our table assignments, calling the caterer and the chair/table rental place - my husband looked at me and said "If this is how 9/11 impacts us - that people who can't make it are still alive - then we are very lucky." And, he was right. We still enjoyed our wedding - everyone told us that they needed the "fun" after the week that we had. I know that it is easy to get wrapped up in all the little details and get very stressed out over these things - but, I really learned something about keeping everything in perspective.

1 mom found this helpful

I remember that I did not take much time to sit and just enjoy the beautiful, all caught up in the frenzy! I wish I could just go back and sit there in my beautiful dress on MY day and appreciate it!

Don't sweat the small stuff-who cares? Also, remember things-my sister had everybody waiting for her while someone went back to retrieve her shoes! And maybe an extra pair of nylons, tums, tampons, etc for her and the briesmaids.

Congratulations! Enjoy!

1 mom found this helpful

My suggestion about her wedding day is to not let her take care of ANY of the problems or music or dj or anything! It will only stress her out and make her feel like she's still planning and not enjoying. Have there be a "go to" person and let all the major people in the wedding, like the dj and caterer know who that person is.
OTHER than that my favorite memory of my wedding is walking down the isle and seeing my husband for the first time!

1 mom found this helpful

Have the photographer take as many pictures of you and your daughter and your family as possible. We did posed and candid. you will be so thankful you did. enjoy the day with your family and friends. it is such an awesome experience. my husband and i love talking about and thinking about what an awesome day it was for both us, and for our families. good luck and congrats!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Pam,

What a great question! I remember quite a few wonderful things, like sharing a private sweetheart table with my husband during dinner which allowed us a little time to visit and enjoy the experience together. Some guests came to visit our table, which was great, and we really had some nice quiet time together to enjoy our hard work. We also did a receiving line right after the ceremony to greet all of our guests, which I still get positive feedback on 7 years later. Instead of throwing my bouquet, we had all of the married couples come to the dance floor and the DJ every so often asked anyone married less than a certain number of years to please sit down. I believe he did 1 year, then 3 years, then 5, 10, 15, 20, etc. so bit by bit there were fewer couples. The remaining couples had been married quite a long time and the last couple standing, married for 47 years got my bouquet. It was a great way to celebrate long lasting love and to inspire us in our marriage. Enjoy the wedding! - D.

1 mom found this helpful

I remember how fast it went by- I remember how I felt when my dad walked me down the aisle and he whispered to me-you will always be my girl. I remember people putting money together to get the DJ at the reception to play for another hour, even after he said that he couldn't-the music played for an hour longer-I just remember dancing the night away with no cares in the world. The big advice is make sure you have a person video tape it. I watch it occaisionlly and it will be wonderful to let me kids see it when they get older as well as make sure you spent a good amount on photographs-make sure the person is good and you tell them in advance of pictures that you want. You will not remember the flowers, food, but you will have the memories of the video and pictures. Congrats and make sure you have FUN!!

1 mom found this helpful

This is bitter sweet for me to say but I will. lol My mom passed away before she ever met my husband. BUT, my father gave me her pearl necklace to wear with my dress. That made a total difference. Maybe give her something you cherrish or equate with loving her. Write her a poem. A simple note. But never forget to tell her you love her.

1 mom found this helpful

In our traditions a bride and groom pray while walking gown the aisle and under the wedding canopy. They ask G-d for all the things they want and need for their life with their spouse to be which they are embarking upon. I remember walking down to the canopy practically crying (heartfelt) and super intense that in all the pictures of me walking down, I am not smiling and glowing looking as a bride should. Instead I look super intense. I wish I would have a picture or two of me just bouncing down the aisle instead of being so serious. I don't remember what I prayed for and I also wish I had written it down to be able to remember now what specifically was on my mind. I don't regret doing this but that is something I may have changed in retrospect. Also, I requested that the caterer save us meals and wine and when the wedding was over there were no meals saved. I hadn't eaten all day or at my wedding and was STARVING. In the end I did not eat till midday the day after my wedding and I was kind bummed about that since it practically made me sick from all the dancing and activity without having a morsel of food in my stomach. But all in all, just be there for her and support her emotionally - that was definitely something I did not have from my mom or my mother in law. It would have meant a lot to me.

1 mom found this helpful

Sentimental Advice: I had both my mother and my father walk me down the aisle. I know that's not traditional, but I was very close to my mother and since both of them raised me I figured they should both have the honor of 'giving me away'. My mom did not know this was my intention until the day of the rehearsal and needless to say, was surprised and very honored. In hindsight, I am so glad I chose to include my mother in this very special way since 7 months later she was diagnosed with cancer and died less than 2 years after I married.

General Advice: Have your daughter create a timeline/schedule for all wedding party members and distribute it at the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. It doesn't have to be down to every single minute, but give the bridal party (and parents) a general idea of WHEN things will happen, WHO is responsible for what, and HOW things should go. Include things like "2:30 pictures at the park - bridesmaids only", "8:00 limo drops bridal party off at reception hall, best man to provide tip to driver" - things of that nature. As a bride, it was one of the greatest things I did because I didn't have people asking me all the time "what time do I need to be ready for _____", "where are we doing _____", etc. This was to be our (bride and groom) special day and I wanted to eliminate as much stress as possible. It also helped me to make sure all the details were being taken care of. In contrast, my sister-in-law who got married shortly after I did hadn't put together any plan so guess who got to run home and get the programs when they forgot them, light the candles at the ceremony, stop by the atm for money for vendor tipping? My husband! It was hard for him to enjoy his sister's wedding because he was constantly on the go taking care of things for the wedding (which should have been planned out in the first place!).

1 mom found this helpful

My wedding seemed to fly by, the church and start of the day were such a blur!! Two things that really stick out from the reception were the desert--we did a bananas foster and the waitstaff came out for a whole dance and fire show, it was really amazing. The second was our disappointing DJ. We had discussions beforehand of what type of music we and our friends/family enjoyed, they insisted on not having any sort of playlist so they had the ability to mix things up to keep the dancing going (not a problem for me), but yet most of the reception kept playing odd music no one was dancing to. Finally after my husband's grandfather tipped them to play something else and my friends kept making requests they switched it up a little. Wasn't the worst that could happen, but very disappointing.

1 mom found this helpful

My advice is to assign a trusted advisor (maid of honor, personal attendent or similar) that all questions about the day go to. "Where should this go?" "There is a problem with X, what should we do?" go to this person - NOT TO THE BRIDE. If it really requires the brides attention, that person will decide. I did this and even though there were little problems and issues, I didn't have to deal with them and thought the day went perfectly (as it could have). Be sure all service members know who to ask and they are clear that they should not interrupt the bride with a question.

Have FUN!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Pam,

Let's see.... here's what I remeber most. (By the way, I think this is a great question for brides to be because they can use all the info. to help them with the Do's and Dont's.

*My limo driver was late getting to my parents' house. It wasn't terribly late, but I wanted to be in the chuch before my guest arrived.

*The videographer approached me right before I was about to go down the isle and asked me if I had any words for my soon to be husband. He asked my soon to be husband about me as well.
I like having this on our wedding video. Even though I wasn't talking directly to my husband, it relaxed me a bit (especially since I was upset over the limo arriving late) to look into the camera and talk to my hubby.

*We signed our marriage certificate in the church and had that recorded and photos were taken with our pastor. I will remember how it meant so much to be married by someone (my pastor) that I really liked and knew well. He relocated a short time later on to a church in Florida. I liked that we memorized our vows. To me..... that is much more meaningful than listening to a pastor/priest say part of the vow and then the bride repeats it. Then he says a little more and the bride repeats it We did not create any fancy vows, but the idea of having the vows come from the bride/groom first and not the pastor seemed a bit more special.

*My parents could not afford paying for the wedding. However, she ordered all the flowers and they were gorgeous! She had every other pew decorated with a center piece. (Don't decorate every pew because that would look too busy.) It was so pretty walking down the isle. I will remember how she was so excited about planning the wedding. ( I am her only girl) Oh... and my mom asked to have the flowers removed after the ceremony and have them redelivered to the reception hall to be used as floral arrangements on the guest tables. My mom is picky when it comes to flowere arrangements and she was very pleased with the results.

*We had a gorgeous September wedding. The day was perfect. Not too hot-not too cold.
We took outside pictures at a place in Rosemont near Higgins. The video and photos look great at this location. I think you have to get permission to take wedding groups there. There is a waterfall, bridge, pretty flowers, etc.. for making great photos.

*Have names and even a photo perhaps of the people you definitely want recorded on your movie camera and in still pictures. Case in point, a dear first cousin of mine passed away unexpectly 5 years after my wedding. (He was 34 yrs. old) Anyway... I thought how nice it would have been to see him in my video. Well, I did have 275 people and I also did not provide a list of people to video tape. Yeah... the 275 was not my idea! But my husband's family invites every distant family member at weddings!

*The bubbles that the guests were blowing at me and my husband captured beautifl pictures.

*That the moms lite the unity candles.

*That my husband and I walked over to my parents and kissed and hugged them during the ceremony and then we walked over to the pew where his parents were and did the same thing.

*I liked that the sermon was meaningful and that my pastor used some analogies to compare a marriage that repects and listens to each other.

*We got my 2 and a half year old niece to go down the isle. My mom showed her a "bride doll" to motivate her to walk down the isle. The ring boy was so late that the wedding went on without him.

*That no matter how hard you think you will remember your wedding, you cannot simply recapture it all in your head years later. So with that said, make sure to video tape it. It is so much fun to watch a couple times of year together and laugh at parts, Watching it helps me relive the day and feel good about being married to my hubby of almost 11 yrs.

Well... I guess this is a lot of info. I hope it will help in some way. Have fun, Pam.

J.

1 mom found this helpful

My Mom and Dad gave me their cake topper that they had saved for over 30 years from their own wedding cake. My husband and I used it for our cake. Memorable because you can see it clearly in both sets of wedding pictures. Whem my sisters get married they plan to do the same thing. Honoring my parents. I also carried my Mom's small bible in my wedding bouquet (sp) it was something she carried down the isle too. Congratulations..Her day will be here soon.

1 mom found this helpful

I loved my wedding day and I remember having breakfast with my bridesmaids and having a great time at our reception the most.
My advice:
Have a list of things that people can do to help get things ready (so that when people get into town and ask what they can do you can just tick the items off your list).

Make sure your daughter gets a chance to EAT before and during the reception. It's hard to find the time when you want to talk to everyone.

Take your daughter out for a meal and some one on one girly time (get manicures or your hair done or something fun) before the wedding day. Tell her stories about your wedding (if you had one). It's fun bonding time. My mom took me out to buy "wedding underwear" (ie some sexy - but not slutty - lingerie) - which was fun.

1 mom found this helpful

My vows. Dont sweat the small stuff. The most important and memorable time at your wedding should be the actually wedding. So many people loose focus on that and pay more attention to the flowers, cake and who is sitting with who.

I remember many things, but I remember a few things more:

1. When I walked down the aisle, I was stunned. I didn't realize how overwhelming it would be to have everyone there looking at you. I think it all seemed surreal to me to because I couldn't believe after all the planning that the day was actually here.
2. I remember my dad telling me he loved me. My dad is not a emotional type of guy, so I don't hear that much from him. I know he loves me, but it meant so much to hear him say that on my wedding day.
3. My photog wanted so many pictures that between her and having to mingle with all the guests, I didn't get to eat. I really wish that I could have had more fun at my reception. I know they say a reception is for your guests, and not you. But, it really shouldn't be that way. Everyone should enjoy it.

For as stressed and crazy I was throughout the planning, I was oddly calm that day. What was going to happen, was going to happen. But it was important I was in a good mood and happy and to focus on the day. I remember the gorgeous weather we had... married Nov 6th in Chicago and 65 degrees that day! I remember just waiting for church to be over with :) I remember my father's toast. I remember my girlfriends and I sneaking a cigarette and them helping me go to the bathroom! I remember dancing, dancing, dancing! It went by SOOOOO fast... just try and take in and step back once and a while with your new hubby.

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