We're Expecting! What Do I Need to Know Now?

Congrats K.:
I can remember as though it was yesterday...The thrill of discovering we were going to be parents for the first time!It will change your lives forever. It sounds like you both are already doing an excellent job of preparing.My Dr.took very good care of me,during my pregnancy.He always emphasized,the importance of maintaining my health and my body weight.A lot of women,take the attitude,that they can eat anything they wish,and as much as they want. The popular quote being (I'm eating for two now)Your Doctor,is'nt merely concerned about your health during the next nine months, but your condition after you deliver. Many women experience depression after they deliver,and carrying A lot of excessive weight, unable to fit in any of your previous clothes,can certainly add to those frustrated feelings.Eat healthy,and pay attention to your weight.If you have the time,I'd take a exercise class specifically for pregnant women.It's light,but it will keep you agile,and in the long run,will be of benefit to you when delivery time is here.As new mothers,you have so many questions,that first year.If you want to be better prepared,before you bring the baby home,I'd read up on (A baby's first year)There is A lot to absorb,and you certainly won't remember it all,but it answers many questions you may have in the beginning,and you will have it for reference,not if,but when you need it . lol.The only other motherly advice I would give to A new mother,is to always follow your heart,and instincts.Don't always rely on others ideals,in regards to raising your own child.You CANNOT SPOIL A baby with TO MUCH LOVE.So you just love and nurture that baby of yours to hearts content.I wish you both A memorable,healthy, pregnancy,and all the happiness in the world.J. M.

1 mom found this helpful

Check out www.lullabyluna.com for lots of great sleep advice- sleep is so important and can be so hard!

I didn't read the other responses, so I may be repeating here, but sometimes its good when more than one person tells you something - then you KNOW its good info ;) LOL

First of all - congrats!!

A few things you should stay away from are; deli meats, too much tuna or any other fish that can contain mercury, caffeine (my doctor said one small cup of coffee a day or one soda is acceptable), strong cleaning products, strenuous physical work, drugs (even over the counter - always check first!).. and that's all I can think of right now.

Things that are good for you; mild exercise (walking is GREAT), lots of water, prenatal vitamins (which you said you are already taking - good job!), lots of sleep if you feel you need it (some women do, others don't), and a healthy diet in general... And again that's all I can think of...

Also, be sure to avoid constipation. I know this sounds kinda "TMI", but if you get constipated and have to "push hard" when you "go bathroom", you will get hemorrhoids. And the more weight you gain with your pregnancy, the more painful and big these pain-in-the-butts become (no pun intended ;) )

Good luck and congrats again!! :)

PS- Also! Don't forget to always trust your gut if you feel something is not quite right :)

I, too, had "What to Expect When You are Expecting" and I thumbed through it, then gave it to Goodwill.

I highly recommend any of the Dr. Sears books...changed my whole way of thinking about parenting, frankly. His "Baby Book" has been an enormous resource for me. I believe I also read his book about nursing, too. And if you are planning on nursing, prepare yourself with lots of knowledge beforehand, then you will not be discouraged when it is time. (Although it's "natural" for our bodies, for many of us, it doesn't start of easily). If you know the ins and outs, you'll be prepared and more likely to stick with it. I'm pretty stubborn and was set on sticking it out, no matter what. I found that my girlfriends who said they were going to nurse, but didn't do any reading about the subject beforehand, were more likely to get frustrated and quit very early on. And check with your insurance beforehand about lactation consultants. Have that info ready to go as soon as you give birth. I had Kaiser at the time of birth and they had lactation consultants on hand and I availed myself and baby of them twice during the first week. They were an ENORMOUS support, let me tell you!!

Oh, another tip: new studies now recommend NO caffeine intake during your entire pregnancy. And not sure how you eat, but "whole" natural foods are ALWAYS better than processed foods. I also ate lots of nuts (almonds) as they are fabulous for brain development. I took a fish oil supplement daily for brain development, too, but check with your doctor first. Should you go this route, the Carlson brand is great; the fish is from deep Norweigan waters and mercury-free.

One last thing: www.babycenter.com is a really cool resource and I plugged my due date into the site and they would send me weekly emails about where the baby was in development that particular week. It was so wonderful receiving "This week your baby is growing fingernails, etc." updates and to this day, I still use this site as a resource (my daughter is now four)

Good luck and congratulations!!

P.S. OH, very important! Put together a "birth plan" and discuss it with your doctor. Bring a copy to the hospital and show the nurses. There are examples online if you google it. This will ensure (to some degree) that your birth goes the way YOU want it to :)

Buy this book: What to Expect When You're Expecting

Congratulations. If you don't have it already, a FABULOUS book for all expecting parents is called What To Expect When You're Expecting. It has just about every question you can think of in there and the answer written in a month-by-month format throughout the pregnancy. There's also What To Expect The First Year that I always buy as a shower gift for new moms.

Congratulations! This is such a special time in life. You've already received some good information. I would reiterate the information about staying away from certain fish (because of the mercury contents). However, fish is such a good such of certain nutrients, you might want to do some research on the kinds of fish with little to no mercury concerns (there are some). During my pregnancy (four years ago...times moves so fast!) I stayed away from tuna completely, and all deli meats. Regarding deli meats, I was told that IF you HEAT the deli meats to the point of steaming, they are safe because heating kills the listeria. (Pregnant women are at high risk for getting listeria.) Also, I avoided ALL soft cheeses (feta, brie) for the same reason. I was also told by my doctor to not have an over abundance of any one food (hard to do when the "cravings" hit) because you may put the baby at risk for allergies (I ate a lot of almonds and my daughter has a sensitivity to nuts). Drink lots and lots of liquids, water in particular. Maintain a good exercise regime (walking is great, yoga is excellent because it helps keep the muscles limber, which will be so beneficial when the time comes). Read as much as you can early on regarding the entire process - how your body changes, how the baby grows and develops, challenges and concerns of new mothers AND new fathers, and how the new baby can impact a marriage (as wonderful as the birth of a baby is, it is considered one of life's most stressful events). If you're the sentimental type, like me, you might want to start documenting everything. Get a "pregnancy calendar" and write down details about your "firsts" - visits to the doctor, the first ultrasound, when you first heard the heartbeat, felt the baby move (this one WILL send you over the top. I guarantee it!!) And most of all, enjoy. It is such a blessed event!

Congratulations K.!

Lots of good fruits and veggies, lots of good lean protein. Most of all try to eat as much organic as you can. Everything you are eating is going into your tiny bundle. The pesticides in your food aren't as much for your full grown body to deal with as your baby.

I recommend looking at the 'dirty dozen' and going from that. This list contains the fruits and vegetables with the highest concentration of pesticides. You should try to buy these items organic at least even if you can't do all organic.

http://www.organic.org/articles/showarticle/article-214

Milk, cheese and your meats are great sources of protein for your growing baby. But these can also come with extra hormones, so it is best for you and your growing baby to change your dairy over to organic if you haven't already. Von's has an entire line of their own organics (O organic) which includes cheeses. I recommend Horizon Organic Milk which you can get with DHA (very good for growing baby).

If you eat chicken I recommend getting the hormone free, free range chicken. Your little one will have plenty of hormones when the teenage years arrive, I don't see any reason to put extra hormones in baby now.

As for kinds of fish and other items to avoid when you're pregnant and nursing, here is a great link full of information for you!

Most of all you want to make sure you have a variety in your diet. Lots of color in your fruits and veggies and lots of good protein and calcium are key!

I hope this helps! Congrats again Mama!

For more information on good protein sources, feel free to check out my blog.

theveggiemama.blogspot.com

Big Hugs!

S. M

Baby Planner Extraordinaire
www.storksbestfriend.com

I haven't read the responses below, but I'm sure someone told you about the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting." It's the best book - tells you anything you need to know! About eating, I just remember my doctor saying to eat healthy and normally, you don't have to suddenly go to the extremes, just don't eat a lot of junk, and treats are still fine! Just avoid caffeine and TOO MANY treats. Exercise normally (but not to the extremes) until you start getting big, then walks are fine. Good luck, and congrats!

Congratulations! It's so fun and so terrifying all at the same time. One book I'd recommend is Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality. It's by two pediatricians who are also moms and I found to it be very readable and reassuring--just the basics for the first few months--then you can move on to other books. It's easy to feel overwhelmed at first. I'd also recommend checking out the Happiest Baby on the Block dvd--there's a book, too, but it's easier to learn how to swaddle and all of that when watching it on video. Your local library probably has copies of that and other baby-care videos you might enjoy.

I don't know where you live, but I delivered at St. John's in Santa Monica which was an AMAZING hospital. We use Westchester Pediatrics and I adore the doctors there as well. They take great care of our little guy and are very open-minded and flexible.

Above all, follow your instincts and be gentle with yourself. Yes, try to exercise (gently) and eat right. But don't deprive yourself of joy if you want the occasional ice cream sundae for dinner. The most important thing is for you and your partner to enjoy this experience--be healthy and happy together, but don't make yourself crazy following other people's advice. :-) And try to go to the movies, go out to dinner, and have as many other "dates" as you can before the baby's born because that becomes quite the production! Good luck and take care!

Excersize and eat well. You are in training now. You need to be in good physical health, or you could have a harder time during the birth. My Dr. told me that the only exercsizes they recommend you cut out were sky diving and extreme sports.
Be nice to your husband. He loves you very much and this time is almost as scary for him as it is for you. Maybe more so... He doesn't have all the happy chemicals floating through his brain...=)
The things we found invaluable when we brought our daughter home were: a swing, a pack-n-play, and a baby tub. Hold your baby as much as you want. Pick them up when they cry. If they are hanging out being quiet, you don't have to pick them up, but you can talk to them. Start talking to your baby now. You can talk and sing and they really like that. Relax. It will happen when it happens.
We had a home birth, and loved it. To each his own, but I took music that helped me relax and don't remember most of the birth... Like I said, you are in training, so start picking relaxing music... If you relax to KISS, then take kiss, if you relax to monks chanting, take that. what ever helps YOU to relax...

I guess that is all...
Congradulations
Good luck
R.

Hi K.,

Congratulations ... this is truly an exciting time!! Do you happen to live in San Diego? If so check out naturalbirthproject.com You can find out all about how to prepare your body and mind for labor and delivery. There are monthly events for mamas to learn about how to prepare yourself for labor and for life with a newborn after. I am a member of the Natural Birth Project and would love to talk with you if you are interested.

Take care,
J.

Enjoy
eat what you want
don't get your heart rate above 140, try prenatal pilates & yoga ( for a smooth and easy no drug labor) walk, go to the gym... Read Baby Wise

YEAH!! Congrats... what an exciting time you have ahead of you!! One question I have for you is... are there allergies in either side of your family? What about eczema? I have no allergies and my husband had an egg allergy as a child, my son, is allergic to a lot of things and has eczema. One thing he's allergic to is peanuts. I hate peanuts and peanut butter every day (all day) throughout my pregnancy. I once heard that pregnant moms should stay away from peanuts as it could cause allergies in their babies. With my second son, I rarely ate peanut butter or had peanuts AND he has no allergies and his eczema is very mild. So... just something to think about. I would also take a probiotic and lots of Omega 3s. You can also take Enfamils DHA capsules for brain development!! Good luck and congrats!! :)

Congrats!! You are starting a very exciting journey :)

I recommend getting a book you like that takes you through everything you will experience in pregnancy month by month. I used the Sears' Pregnancy Book and Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. You may also want to think about creating a birth plan, and there are books for that too. I HIGHLY, highly recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Loved this book for all the information from a midwife's perspective as well as "birth stories" which you can skip or read at the beginning, but are good in giving you an idea of how each birth is different and normal in it's own way. Don't forget to pickup a copy of What to Expect the First Year so that you have it on hand by the time the baby is born. This is the USER MANUAL for babies: a MUST HAVE!

Keep up your regular activities as you can right now, as long as you're not juggling knives on horseback or anything ;-) I recommend walking and yoga. Shiva Rea puts out a nice pregnancy yoga DVD. I worked up until my due date, and I think the 3 flights of stairs definitely kept me in shape. However, I also think that my job gave me a little too much stress, so if you can take time before your due date that will help.

For eating, keep eating right. You want to avoid caffeine, alcohol, soft cheeses, and any fish that lives long enough to accumulate mercury (shark, tilefish... I can't remember all of them, but it's online).

Make sure you and hubby get lots of time together before the baby arrives, because your alone time will be limited and you won't get that quality time when baby needs all the attention. Enjoy going out to the movies and dinner. Line up your help, family and friends, that can take care of YOU when baby comes. It's a wonderful help if people can bring you meals so you don't have to think about it.

Take time to relax. Enjoy all the changes. Revel in the daydreaming anticipation :)

all the best!

You've gotten some great advice. I'd add 2 things:

1. Look into all your birth options. Ventura has some great birth centers and midwives. The hospital is not your only choice. I had a hospital birth with my first and will never do that again (if it can be avoided). I had my 2nd at the Ventura Birth Center with Sue and Dawn. They're a great team and I was able to give birth in my own time and way.

2. Go to a LLL meeting in your 2nd or 3rd trimester if you're going to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is not always easy at first and it may not come naturally. If you do need help those first few weeks, it's better to have help lined up than go searching through all the paperwork looking for a lactation consultant. Plus LLL help/advice is always free. :)

Good luck and have a happy and healthy 9 months!

Lots of great advice, I just wanted to add to the mercury "stay away from list" go to USA Today and pull up the article on high fuctose corn syrup. the chemical used to process this man made sweetner can be cross contaminated with HIGH levels of mercury. Because it is in so much of our foods, you can never be sure where and when the cross contamination has occured. So one day one item may test safe and then the next batch it may be contamininated. Try to buy items that do not use high fuctose corn syrup, it's difficult, but possible.

I know you've gotten a bunch of responses from ladies saying you should get that book, What to Expect When You're Expecting, but I suggest you skip that book. I read it with my first pregnancy, and while it does have some good information inside, it is also at times an unnecessarily alarming book. My midwife tells all her patients to burn it! There are much better books out there.

Anything by Dr. Sears is going to be good. Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide by Penny Simkin is a good, all-encompassing one to get. It's actually required reading for doulas!

In regard to childbirth, I recommend Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. They also made the documentary, The Business Of Being Born. I highly recommend watching it. If you EVER thought you might want a natural childbirth, this movie will push you into making it happen. Also, ANY book by Ina May Gaskin is AMAZING. She's a midwife with awesome statistics and a beautiful writer. I loved Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

I know your hubby is a med student and he may feel strongly about a certain way of birthing (as most people in America do), but there are other, very safe options when it comes to birthing.

Not everything in pregnancy is as black and white as some people seem to think. They say you MUST avoid certain foods, but I truly believe that if your pregnant body is craving it(unless it's dirt or some other non-nutritive substance), it can't be all bad. Take sushi for example: I love it, a lot of it isn't raw fish, and when you have a pregnancy craving for it, you won't be happy until you have it. I ended up eating the raw stuff a few times because I figure that the reason we think we shouldn't have it is because of the risk of food poisoning. If you've had TONS of it in your life and never got sick from it, you probably won't this time either. Same with undercooked meat. Just stick to places you know and proper food handling and you'll be fine.

Prepare to be amazed with your body!

Didn't read all the responses, but I am sure someone told you folic acid? (Good to take). Should be in your pre-natatl vites, if not you need to get an Rx one that has it. It prevents Spina Bifida in the baby.
When you have time, please do your own research on vaccines. When you are at the Dr.'s office with a screaming baby is not the time to read the package inserts the Dr. gives you and make an informed decision. "DPT -A Shot in the Dark" by B. Loe Fisher is a good book, so is "What Your Pediatrician May Not Tell you about Childhood Immunizations" I forget who the author is. I'm not going to preach, I am just suggesting, do your own research now, while you have time. Congratulations! B.

HI K.,
Congratulations! I would suggest the book "What to Expect When You are Expecting" This is a great book that not only explains what you can do to give you baby the most it needs for a healthy delivery, but it also describes in detail changes that occur in your body and what things to expect. I had mild spotting the first few weeks of pregnancy and learned that spotting is quite normal. Having that book helped me to relax and enjoy the changes that were occurring in my body. Now when I have a question, I just check out the index in the back of the book.

I remember those days of first being preg and reading everything I could get my hands on! One thing I wished I had not eaten or drank rather was coffee. I read it was safe to consume one cup a day. So I did, but when I was far enough along to feel the baby move, I realized she was moving erratically after my morning coffee. I stopped drinking it, but regret that caffine had such an effect on the fetus before I was able to feel movements.
Also, if you are able to keep exercising throughout your pregnancy, do. But don't kick yourself if you fall off the wagon, you may get really sick here in a while and sometimes our big plans of the perfect healthy pregnancy need to be adjusted. That being said, pushing out a baby takes so much more stamina than I ever imagined. I would compare it to sprinting, or waterboaring. I suggest walking hills after you get big.

DHRA is the newest big supplement proven to help with eye and brain development. My Physician sister- in -law insisted I take it based on recent studies.
There are all kinds of foods you are not supposed to eat while pregnant. But FYI, I ate most of them and my baby is just fine. (especially spicy tuna hand rolls, yum!)

Congratulations K.!!

I would go out and get the book, "What to Expect When Expecting." It has great information and also talks about diet and exercise. I would try to walk every day and drink a ton of water. Like everyone said, stay away from the tuna and nitrates, and ENJOY!!!

Congratulations!!

Okay this is pretty long so bear with me. =)

Find a great doctor or midwife that listens to all your concerns and doesn't belittle you or make you feel dumb/silly/rushed, etc.

Take a Bradley method class. These are pricey (ours was around $300) but very very thorough (10 weeks!) They discussed nutrition, prenatal development, new baby care, breastfeeding, labor and delivery, etc. My husband and I felt very empowered.

Take a Baby CPR class (probably through your hospital)

Preregister for and tour your hospital (registering in advance means you can just GO once you're in labor- no having to fill out forms while you're in contractions!)

There aren't a ton of Dos and Don'ts compared to not being pregnant; meaning that if you took good care of yourself before you were pregnant you can pretty much do the same thing.

Remember, you're NOT sick, you're pregnant. =) I was so anxious and had tons of questions and my Dr. kept telling me that pregnancy is not illness so not to worry. Women do this all the time every day.

Your Dr. should give you a list of foods and medicines that they may be concerned about as well as any travel or activity restrictions, but again, you're not sick, and many women do everything they did before, just listen to your body.

BTW, don't be surprised that the most exhaustion and sensitivity comes long before you start to show, so people may not understand why you are so tired. Others start being sympathetic when you start to show but you'll feel it long before!

Go to a babywearing group or check out babywearing stores (and try out a Maya Wrap, Ergo, Babyhawk, Moby, Beco, etc)- if possible try them on before you show so you can get an idea. These absolutely SAVED me once I had the baby- soooo much more useful than the stroller/swing/bouncer/crib, etc.

Oh- I loved Dr. Sears pregnancy book as well as the Girlfriends guides.

If you plan to breastfeed, get some breastfeeding books and read them late in your pregnancy- they won't feel relevant yet but once your baby is born you won't have the energy or time. Same for the video "happiest baby on the block"- view the dvd the week before you deliver. Find out the lactation and breastfeeding support resources in your community, your hospital and pediatrician- you'll probably use them once you deliver. (Perhaps check out La Leche League).

Plan to do any major cleaning/painting, remodeling as soon as possible (with you out of the area). We remodeled our kitchen because we knew we wouldn't be able to once baby came. Quite an ordeal but glad we did it. You'll start wanting to "nest" but be careful about breathing harsh cleaning or paint fumes. You might want to check the book "Healthy child healthy world" that gives down-to-earth advice for eliminating a lot of toxins from your home.

2 to 3 months before you deliver, you'll want to start interviewing pediatricians. Start collecting referrals now (there are several on this site). You and hubby can get a brief appointment to see if your philosophies match the Dr. You'd be surprised at the variation out there.

Finally, take tons of pictures and journal- you'll love having it later. Especially take pictures- all sideways, just in your sportsbra, with a little card that tells your circumference and the # of weeks. And pics of your hubby loving on your prego tummy- sooo sweet. I really regret not taking more pics. I also didn't take enough pics at the very end. Wish I had a pic on that very day before delivery!)

Enjoy!!

Hi K.,
Congratulations! The whole experience is a little freaky but you'll get used to it!

I also did not really like What To Expect When You're Expecting. It was too general for me. I liked the Dr. Sears books and the book Your Pregnancy Week by Week. One of the best books to buy is Baby Bargains. It really gives you a lot of information about what you really need and don't need. Figuring out what you actually need for the baby is overwhelming. Baby Bargains helps figure it out and shows you ways to save money. Consumerreports.com helps you look up safety ratings on car seats and other baby items. I also stopped women on the street and asked them if they liked their strollers.

I was pregnant 7 years ago, so I don't know all the foods to avoid now - I would ask your doctor what is recommended.

Sign up on babycenter.com. They have great information and great advice, sales on baby items, etc.

You should ask all your friends, family, etc. about recommendations for a pediatrician. Then make an appointment to interview the pediatrician at least a month or so before the baby is born. Babycenter.com has a list of questions you can ask. It is recommended that the pediatrician is associated with the hospital where you are giving birth but the hospital will provide one if necessary. It is also recommended to tour the hospital choices you have to pick which best meets your needs. The hospitals usually also give the classes you need to take such as Child Care, Breast Feeding (your husband should go too), Baby CPR.

Try to rest as much as you can now because you will be tired once the baby comes. The first month or so is like culture shock until you figure out how to manage the baby and keep your life as normal as possible. Also remember that your baby will have it's own likes, dislikes, personality.... he/she may not conform to "what the books says" and that's ok. You have to be willing to be flexible and adapt what you want to do with what the baby wants to do.

Good luck! Hope this helps!

Hi K., I am a mother of 2 and also a teacher (1st & 2nd) grades. My advice to you before you go out and buy a whole nursery set up and spend hundreds or thousands of dollars is to invest in a book called Good Nights. In that book the Ferber Method doctor retracts his advice and wishes he had never written it, based on new studies. I think you're doing everything right with the prenatals, exercising and common sense. Take care and enjoy, you'll be an awesome mommy!