Okay, so I have this neighbor who has lived close to us, on same block for 2 years. She is divorced single mom, who has a 3.5 year old son. We have a almost 3 year old son, so was kinda perfect. They lived to play together. History on us. We were friends, cuz of our kids, we would do stuff with kids, like take our kids swimming, walks, play dates, birthday parties, ect. Well, I have watched her son on several occasions to help her out, she has watched our son few times. She is very nice, I don't think we would have hit it off as best friends by any means, just we are different, she is very out spoken, beliefs kinda different but she is nice, and our kids got along great. Okay so here is question. I was at her house mid September when my older son was selling popcorn for boy scouts. She bought a 45.00 box. We talked, kids played, just like every other time we visited. She talked about how she was having trouble with supervisor at work, but how it all had got worked out that day, just a misunderstanding. She talked about how she was having trouble with her ex husband, father of her son. There schedules at work both had changed, so they were having to both change days. He was being stubborn and such. Also she wanted to put him into a certain daycare and he wanted a place closer to him. Some other stuff too. They already had divorce and custody set up from fee years ago, but were going to mediation now to work out this stuff. Well, about 2 weeks after this she sent me a text inviting me to go to Mary Kay party. I was super busy, I forgot to respond till next day. I was having car trouble along with 3 kids and errands, lol I was busy. I text her next day apologized for not responding, and asked if she had fun....no reply. A week into October I sent text inviting her and her son to come with us to harvest festival (they went with us year previous and had blast)..... No response. I was taking walk with my kids about a week later, I saw a uhaul down her driveway. She lives in duplex, on our street, but down a really long dirt driveway behind a house on street. So I sent her a text kinda joking, "hey I see a uhaul, are you moving?" I thought for sure it was her neighbor, since she mentioned nothing about moving just weeks before. No response. Well so I get her popcorn order in, and I text saying its here....nothing. so next day my son & I walk down there. There is a for rent sign. Her neighbor did move, curtains open and place empty. My friends place had curtains shut, normal she always has them that way, and her sons toys in yard, rake against her side. So still looked like she wad there. No answer though. On Halloween we went there, her house empty, curtains open, and she is gone. I have called her phone, and it said her mailbox was full so I could not leave her mesg. I don't have email for her. I sent her private mesg on Facebook, and nothing. I have tried called few times, same thing. Just called today, and it now says it had been.disconnected. okay, what to do? All her family is in California, I know none of them. I don't know any of her friends. I have only meant them at Birthday parties. I think.super weird she ordered popcorn, told me about her problems at work, her ex, custody, but moves and changed number without saying anything!! What would you do now??? Also last time she moved, we helped her. She was in place on our street, but moved into that other duplex further down our street that was bigger, bigger yard and such and we helped her move. We are not super close, but we keep in contact.
Edit...She did not have her son in a day care at that time. The way her custody was set up, her ex worked days, she worked nights so he was not in daycare. Both of their work schedules just changed, thats why they were having trouble working out "new" schedule and daycare on where to put him into.
Popcorn she already paid in advance, even if it was not paid, thats not my concern. I just hope she is okay.
So I guess I will just not stress, and if I hear from her I will. I guess I just think the worst like something happened. I only sent her 1 mesg on Facebook, and few texts. I was never able to leave voice mail on her phone, due to by time I called her voice mail was full from other people. She was hardly on Facebook anyways. I do know where she works, but don't want to call there if she was already having issues there. I just hope the best for her and her son, and hope all is well.
Edit: so I can kick myself for not thinking this, but she referred me to her doctor a while ago. The nurse for doctor is her friend. Since they are friends I can call her monday and tell her what's going on and hope she knows what's going on. I can't drive by her work to look for her car cuz she works at hospital, so parking lot huge. All her family does not live in our state, so I will call her work If on Monday her friend has no info. I know her ex has past of being abusive towards her, I just think its to strange, and the phone is what worries me. Obviously enough people called and left mesg. To where it was so full you could not leave mesg. Now it's turned off completely. If she moved and shut phone off just to get away, to each there own, but I just worry that something happened.
Edit: well won't go into detail Cuz not my place, but found out what happened, kinda. Something did happen. Now I just hope everything works our for her and son. Thanks for responses
Wow, how odd. I wonder if she "Disappeared" with her son. Do you know how to contact the ex? Or his name at all? You might be able to find him.
But at the very least she is gone for now. You may never know what happened to her or you may find she comes back to look you up some time later.
Nothing for you to do. Maybe you'll hear form her one day. At first I thought you were going to say you were worried about popcorn $ :). She left and isn't answering. Very weird. Nothing for you to do though.
Well if she is still friends with you on facebook check out her other friends or family on facebook and send them a mail havent heard is she ok. That will alert other friends you are concerned. If there is a concern the family will be able to take care of it or at least respond everything is ok.
Gosh, I would be like you, very worried that something has happened. Do you know where she worked? I would call and just do a well check.
How many times have we read about people that have gone missing and no one searched or asked about them.. Then we find out something terrible happened.
I agree about writing her a letter and just saying. "I am VERY worried about you. I have been trying to get in touch with you. Please just let me know you are ok. "
It was well said when one of the moms said that sometimes people wind up missing and we all assumed everything was fine. You don't have to talk to her, but why not call her work? Not necessarily her even, just her job. You don't have to ask directly to speak to her but check if she's there or if you can talk to her. Does sound odd.
Was wondering if she is safe?
I don't know if it's the fact that I've been watching a lot of law and order/crossing Jordan but it sounds like she died mysteriously. Like the husband bumping her off, snatching the kid and skipping town. I'd probably call the police just to get what I know on record just in case something has really gone awry.
Elyse E. is spot on, call non emergency line and just get your concerns on file. You could even write up a letter, like you did here, (written statement and all) and drop it off at the station with all the pertinent information. Your contact info, her contact info etc...
Enjoy the popcorn.
There really is nothing you can do. You have tried everything to reach her and she is not responding.
Nothing. I'd stop pestering her on Facebook. Give her time. I'd pay for the popcorn myself.
Whatever happened, has nothing to do with you or your son. I hope they are both safe - where ever they are.
Ok, maybe I am different than everybody else, but if I was worried something happened to her, and I knew where she worked, I would at least drive by the place and look to see if her car was there. You don't have to go in where you might cause her any discomfort/embarrassment or inconvenience, or get her in any trouble... just see if her car is there.
Then, I would maybe sent a note in the mail that you hope she is ok, you are worried since you haven't heard anything from her or seen her, etc.
I'm with Amy J. What else can you do? Just wait & maybe you'll hear from her O. of these days. You tried. All you could, I think.
Unless you suspect foul play or something, I think at this point you tell your son that his buddy moved & go along with your life. Keep the popcorn in a safe spot for another month or so.
Please call the police.
ETA: The police have a non-emergency # where you could dicuss your concerns. Phone mailbox full, empty house....I don't know, but this doesn't seem like she's snubbing you for a missed invitation. Something doesn't seem right.
Don't take it personally. She probably has had some major things happen in her life and is dealing with it. Maybe she needed to move for a better job, maybe someone in her family is sick or died, maybe she's moving to help out the family ... Who knows, really. But there's very little chance it has anything to do with you.
If you do want to try and get in touch with her, why not get a "Miss you" card, write a little note about how you haven't seen her for awhile and hope everything is ok with her. Mail it to the house she just moved out of. The post office will forward it, so she will get it. You might never hear from her again, but at least you will know that you said something nice and wished her well.
As for the popcorn. Well, maybe she really didn't anticipate anything in her life changing as dramatically as it did. Sometimes life can change very severely and very drastically.
Whatever happened, she's dealing with it. It probably has nothing to do with you.
Nothing you can do. She is an adult. She can move and leave. If her stuff was still there and wasn't answering the door - you could ask the police to do a "well check"...but her stuff is gone.
You can hold on to the popcorn, just in case you hear from her.
If you are desperate? contact the number of the rental company and find out if there is a forwarding address. But really? I doubt they would give it to you. The best you could do is "mail" her the popcorn and let the USPS take care of it.
if she hasn't responded on Facebook, I don't know what to tell you. It's possible she took off.
This sounds tough. I am very sorry. It is hard to tell if her not responding to your texts and facebook messages are related for you not responding to her invite to the party. When I first read this, it sounded to me like she was mad at you for not responding to her text until the next day. But when I started reading more, it sounded more like something happened.
Since you have tried to contact her in a few different ways already, then there is not really anything much you can do now. I agree too, writing a letter is a good idea.
Your friend sounds like a strong woman. I just hope that wherever she and her son are they are both ok and happy.
Good luck, and just remember, this has NOTHING to do with you or your son. Maybe some day, she will contact you, or move back.
-A.
Mom of 5 (soon to be 7!)
You can make a concerned call to the police to check in on her. I would do that.
I would think
1 - Problems w/ phone (disconnected, lost & cannot afford replacement, stalker issues, etc.). I just went a month without my phone, because I had to choose which bills to pay (court stuff is VERY expensive)... And beyond that have major problems with my ex. Since either all or most of your contact attempts were via phone, that could be an easy "Aha" kind of thing. Also, since her VM is full (and most services allow several hundred messages) this would seem to substantiate this theory.
2 - Her divorce could be uglier than she's been letting on. All y'all on HERE know how vicious and nasty my divorce has been, but I do NOT share that with most people. Maybe 2 people know the whole sordid mess, and 5 know "most". This is 2 on my list, for obvious bias.
3 - Crisis. Sick relative (mom in hospital, sister diagnosed w cancer, best friend hit by car.). Son is sick (at a childrens hospital). Etc. Realized for WHATEVERA reason that she needs to stay where she's at and paying rent is silly because she'll be there for months. Had someone pack her out (or did it herself).
4 - Evicted. Money problems.
5 - Ran. Divorce/Custody problems.
6 - Happy. Best friend / mom/ etc. invited them on long vacation.
7 - Happy. Got accepted into a school program on short notice. (Culinary, police, etc.) so her son is staying with family while she's in live-away school
The list goes on and on. There's just so many reasons it COULD be. You may even have made the "Tell" list, but on short notice, you weren't home / text lost to ether/ note u def the bushes in your garden/ etc.
If I were you and that concerned, I would go (with Popcorn order in hand) to her work and ask to drop it off to her. I doubt you would get her into trouble!
Do you know the daycare? I might ask about it but they might not give you an answer.
Don't play detective. She's gone. Who knows what happened?? I agree - write her a letter and hope it gets forwarded, but be sure your return address is on it so it will come back if there's no forwarding address. Forget the popcorn issue or the "my son misses your son thing" unless they are only part of the communication - you don't want her feeling guilty for leaving you, your son, or the popcorn behind, or for not writing/responding. Just make the letter about how much she meant to you, how much you enjoyed her, and how much you hope all is well. Don't mention her ex or anything really personal - you don't know who's reading her mail. You want to leave her with a totally positive feeling about you - that you cared then and care now, that you wish her well, and hope if she is ever in the area again that she will touch base. If you don't hear anything in a month, donate the popcorn to the food pantry or the senior center so it goes to a worthy cause and not into your cabinets. Then let it go and move on. Something must have happened for her to disappear like this.
The post office probably would not forward a package without a fee, but they will forward mail.
Write her a letter, and hope they forward it. (Hopefully she gave the post office a forwarding address.) Say something like you hope everything is ok, and that your son misses playing with her son.
Remind her that you have the popcorn that she ordered. Tell her that you would be very willing to meet somewhere so she can pick it up. Since it is already paid for, it isn't like she is dodging you for payment.
Good for you for being a concerned neighbor! Thanks for letting us know that you did talk to her.
If you still haven't heard from her, I think you should try to call her at work. If she's not at work, call the police. I would hate to think that something happened to her and she needs help and no one is even looking!
