Weaning from Nursing to Sleep

Are you weaning because you want to be done nursing or because you're concerned that he's using it as a method to fall asleep and you want him to learn to do it on his own? If you want to wean because you want to be done, then there were some good suggestions about transferring to a cup, cuddling without nursing, etc. Kellymom is awesome and La Leche League has a forum for such questions. Congrats for making it to a year!!

If you're concerned he's relying on you to fall asleep and you feel that's not a good thing for whatever reason, that's another issue entirely. I'd just like to share my experience bc I think you have nothing to worry about.

I too nursed exclusively and he would nurse to fall asleep at bed and for naps. I did not try to wean - I let him go at his own pace. At first it would make him pass out and I'd put him down asleep. As he got older (seems like around a year - can't remember) he would still nurse but not actually fall asleep so I would have to put him in bed awake but it calmed him down enough that it wasn't that big an issue. I felt like if I pushed him to wean, that would be more upsetting than anything and make bedtime more stressful. Plus, I didn't want to stop.

I did let him cry some - only after he was older, maybe 9 months? I felt like he we communicated enough that he knew it was bedtime and understood I wasn't deserting him, but that he needed to go to sleep. Only a few minutes at a time and I would never let him get hysterical. It was more of a whimper. I think at a certain age, it's almost like any other aspect of growing up, and they need some discipline. But you didn't want to do cry it out so I'll move on.

I guess my point is if you want him to learn to sleep on his own without any cry it out, pushing him to stop nursing will only make it worse. You will still need to do whatever you need to do to train him to sleep on his own and nursing doesn't really have anything to do with that other than helping it in terms of calming him down and giving him a signal that it's bed time. No different than bath and a book really. Eventually, the nursing will not put him to sleep so you will be in the same position regardless.

On his own he lost interest in nursing and quit at 18 months without any emotion on either of our parts and without any engorgement. That's how it works when you let them decide.

Sorry for the rambling, not sure if that helped or not.
Good luck!

I have only one child, and it took us five years to get her here, so I treasured every possible moment I could with her - especially since I also worked full time. I stretched that night time closeness as long as I could, but when it seemed time, I began reading to her during nursing time at night...usually Good Night Moon, and let her find the mouse and all the other things. Somehow the storytime, still in the glider chair where we always nursed, simply replaced the nursing, and to this day (she's 7) we still share those special before bedtime moments together and have some of our most lovely and sometimes surprising conversations. Good luck!

Why do you have to wean so young? There are multiple benefits of nursing after the first year -- your breast milk actually passes on MORE immunity/illness fighting goodness than in the fist year and it can help with the transistion into toddlerhood. Other benefits are in the articles below:

http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/toddlernursing.html

Best of luck in your decision.

The links posted are great!
"The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is also a great resource for night weaning.
My daughter is 22 months old, and she nurses twice; once in the morning, and once before her nap. To end the nighttime nursing, my husband helped out a lot! He would get her some water to drink, lay down with her, and get her to go back to sleep without nursing. Now she's used to her bedtime routine with him and we have no more night nursing sessions :-)

If you enjoy it, why not allow him to self-wean?? My son followed a similar schedule after the first year, but continued to BF at wake-up, naps and bedtime until 2 1/2. He eventually stopped at naps, and then bedtime, surprisingly giving up wake-up last!... I helped to facilitate this transition by laying with him and allowing a sippy cup of (raw)milk (he still has no cavities or dental issues). Before long, he stopped all together, but he did it, not I. My milk flow lessened gradually over this time, so that by the time he was done, so was I. One day a few months after being fully weaned, he came to me and said, " I used to drink mommy milk but then I drank it all up, now it's all gone." Pretty profound for a kid, I thought!:) The plus to all of this, is that we are still closely bonded, and his immunity is fantastic. He rarely, if ever, gets sick! His pediatritian even commented on how he hadn't seen him since his last well visit last year. However you go about it, I wish you the best and most stress free transition from this stage.

I used the method from the book (can't remember the name, will look for it when I get home).
Basically I would let her nurse and before she is asleep I would take her off the breast. She would fuss and I would put her back on and count to 10 and repeat and REPEAT. Eventually she was going to bed on her own.

I am a couple months behind you on my 2nd! I was just thinking about that process coming up. My oldest weaned himself at 10.5 months (i was 6 wks pregnant). He also took a sippy cup. I would give him ( and still do now) a sippy cup of milk/juice or whatever yours takes....only about 4 oz and rock him/read a book. might try to start reading a book to him WHILE you are nursing for a week to get the pattern down?
Let me know what works! :0)

I, too, am not fond of the cry out methods. I had this similar problem with my son. As far as the naps, i was able just to rock him and sing to him. He did pretty well with that. Nighttime was a whole different story. I would try to just rock him, but he would just cry and cry. In turn, then, I would cry and just give in. I eventually had to just let my husband (someone he wouldn't associate with nursing)put him to bed. The first night was hard. My son cried for about 20 min. while my husband held him and rocked him. The second night was better, minimal crying. My husband continued to put him to bed for about a week. That way, my son got used to going to bed without being nursed, and I pretty much dried up, so it wouldn't even be an option anymore. I know how hard it can be and hope this helps. Good luck!

Kelly mom has some good resources: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html. I think one of the best articles though, is this one: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp. There may be a few tears, but neither advocate a cio method. You'll want to do this gradually as this will be weaning-weaning for you and will make it easier one you. Good luck!

I would ease in to this transition. Instead of nursing, have some one on one time with him. Try reading a book together and just rocking in a chair with him cuddling as you would with nursing only not nursing. It may take a few days; but if he enjoys the book reading it may be easier for him to adjust. Hope this works.

When I weaned my oldest, I just started offering a sippy cup of milk while we did our bedtime routine (she sat in my lap and drank the milk while I read her a story). She had no problems at all weaning and didn't seem any different.

My last one did enjoy nursing and was a bit different. I actually weaned him from his nighttime feeding by accident. We had a few events at school in the evenings and I just gave him a bottle at school and then he was so exhausted when we got home he went straight to bed!

Don't give your child milk in a cup in their bed for all night...that's just asking for tooth decay. If they still want something you can offer a cup of water at night, that's what my son has when he's thirsty at night.

Like many moms mentioned, I, too, never let my children "cry it out." I nursed my daughter for just over 12 months, and I offered her warm milk in her favorite sippy cup. If you have started using a sippy cup, then he should be comfortable with one (usually a soft nipple sippy cup works best). My son sucked his tumb and my daughter used a pacifer, so after they would drink their milk, then I would hold them until their eyes closed and were relaxed but not completely asleep. I would lay them in their crib, rub or pat their back, sing a song if it worked and then slowly decreased the rub/patting until I could "sneak" out of the room. My daughter is a much more easy going and good sleeper, so she was easy. My son was not as easy going, and he has always been a challenge sleeper. So consider personality with your little one in this process.