Upcoming First Birthday Party . . . and Complications . . .

I think two weeks before sounds good. My MIL (who I passed away before I met my husband) died in late March. Within 10 days of her death are my two oldest sons' birthdays and my grandmother-in-law's birthday (my MIL's MIL). I wasn't there for the first anniversary, but we do go to a memorial service at temple near the date of her death and then sometimes end up celebrating the birthdays the same day. For my FIL, having grandkids around and seeing his own mom still living a great life and celebrating another birthday (she's 92!) takes away some of the pain of the day and reminds him that life is still good. Hopefully after this first year, which I would imagine is the hardest, it will be easier to celebrate closer to her actual day.

I'd just combine it with the Thanksgiving celebration

Edited to Add:
My grandma's birthday is Nov 5th
My nephew's birthday is Nov 15th
My parent's anniversary is also Nov 15th
My mom's birthday is Nov 20th
My grandpa's death anniversary is Nov 23rd
We celebrate/observe all of these occassions at Thanksgiving, acknowledging both the blessings and the shardships. It doesn't put a damper on the Holiday. It just is what it is.

Yes, do it a couple weeks before. ;)
Don't feel guilty about celebrating your baby's birthday!

You do what works for you - if you want to do it a week or two before then do that, it might be easier on you and everyone else. But if you want to celebrate it closer to the actual day, maybe that would give Grandpa a distraction and help him to celebrate life instead of mourning death. I know that my Grandma would not want us to sit around moping on her great grandsons birthday.......

1-2 weeks earlier might be just about right. Our ped actually suggested that we not have the party on or immed after the 1st b-day because they get a lot of vaccinations then, which could leave them feeling ill, cranky or tired.

We've got our little one's first birthday planned for Oct 2nd, even though he was born on the 13th.

Good luck

I'd plan it before his actual birthday. That way you can get everything out of the way for your grandpa, and for Thanksgiving. I'm sorry that your grandma died, especially the day after your son was born. That scenario kind of happened in my family too, my father passed away on my uncle's birthday. He is an uncle that we see quite frequently, and he is always around. So when it comes time for his birthday cake, we are kind of like, "wait, today's not a celebration day" but we have to realize that we loved dad, and my uncle is still alive and breathing, so we do the celebration anyway and make a good time of it. That doesn't mean we loved dad any less. Good luck to you, and hope the birthday party is awesome!!

That is a tough one. I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I would say that of course you should not plan the party on the anniversary day of her passing, but other than that, keep the party close to your sons birthday as you can, on whichever day works best for you and the majority of your family and guests. It is important to recognize her memory on the anniversary of her passing, but I think its equally as important to celebrate the wonderful, special occasion of your son's first birthday. Dont feel guilty about that.

Awww, I love 1st birthdays! : )

Your son won't remember his birthday or anything that takes place, and typically 1st birthday parties are small family affairs with a cake, maybe some balloons, and cake after dinner. Anything more extravagant is really for the grown-ups, keeping it simple makes it easier to work up to the biggies in years to come.

Invite your parents and Grandpa over (I'm sure he'll want to see the little guy on his big day) and take lots of pictures for your son to see in years to come. Make sure you enlarge at least one of him and his great-Grandpa to frame for him to present to Grandpa as a Christmas gift.

IF Grandpa declines your invitation respect his wish and send him a piece of cake for later, one year anniversaries of deaths can be very hard to get through, my condolences to you and your family for your loss✿

I would go a couple weeks before his big day. I am sure your grandfather would not expect you to not celebrate your baby's birthday although I could be wrong. Then on his actual birthday have a little cake and maybe some pizza with your parents and inlaws. The baby has no clue what's up but you do and first birthday's are soo special no matter if you have one or ten kids.

I would go with a couple weeks before but don't be surprised if you still get a bit of drama. Ya know, I can't believe we are celebrating with the anniversary of grandma's death only being weeks away. To your grandpa no matter when you celebrate his birthday will be a reminder of her death.

You can only do so much and two weeks is def meeting this halfway.

What a very considerate idea. I vote yes!

I would celebrate your son's birthday the weekend before. It is very thoughtful of you to be concerned about this especially on the first anniversary. However, don't feel badly about celebrating such a happy occasion. If your grandfather doesn't want to join in, he can choose not to and it sounds like you'll completely understand.

We just had a terrific loss and honestly it wouldn't hurt any of our feelings to have a celebration. It might help your grandpa to heal a little to have the party and know that you still miss her, but that their grandbaby came into the world as well. Do the party when you need to do it. Don't worry about grief issues or you will worry about that every year. My son's birthday is 10 days before Christmas. We try to do is party as close as we can to his birthday and then get the Christmas tree shortly thereafter.

I would do it the weekend before his birthday. That was it's not as near Thanksgiving.

Wow! I can honestly say I have never heard anything like this before. How depressing. Yikes! Needless to say, I would have the party two weeks before then ask grandpa if he wants to do something special to celebrate grandma's life, like get together as a family and talk about the great things you remember of her (maybe not the spiteful part).

I would not do it on his birthday, it would just be rough.

Good luck!

I think as long as you don't have the party on the anniversary of your grandmother's death, you don't have to worry about celebrating the same weekend or on your son's actual birthday. Save that one day for mourning her death, but the rest of the week can be about celebrating your son and Thanksgiving.

Your grandmother lived a long and (hopefully) fulfilling life and would have wanted your son to have a nice celebration for his first birthday.

Just be understanding of your grandfather's feelings and accept that he might not want to celebrate with you.

Congrats on (almost) making it through the first year!